The weather has been fairly crappy in this part of the world.  We recieved about an 1″ of rain on Thanksgiving Day.  Then it froze, then it sleeted on top of that and then we got a little bit of snow.  Friday was kind of a slippery kind of day.  But it wasn’t that cold and the wind was mild.  Then Friday night we got another layer of frozen rain.  Then Saturday night we got another thin layer of frozen rain.  The ice is thick and it is slippery.  I feel like watching the Empire Strikes Back so that I can watch the planet Hoth scenes to compare.  I might need to get me one of those Tauntauns to travel around this frozen planet.

       Thankfully, the Dragon Lady bought Duke and I some cleats for our work shoes.  We’ve had them for several years but hadn’t needed to use them.  But now, I am glad to have them.  They work great.  I have motivated all over the place without a slip.  Of course, they sound like baseball spikes on concrete when walking into the grocery store to get milk.

     I will admit that I have had some enjoyment watching doe kids bust their butts on the ice.  For as nimble as these creatures are, they don’t handle ice well at all.  They know it is slick but they still come running for a feed bucket.  Even though there is feed in the troughs of the self feeder that I was filling.  Everything can get inside and stay warm, but when they come out onto the ice rink, it turns into a Will Ferrell-like “grublets on ice” with goats sliding, busting their donkeys and some just standing there afraid to move.  

     We had a flush scheduled for the 29th.  But the Kiwi in charge of performing the flush decided that he couldn’t navigate in this weather.  Oh well.  I don’t have to write a check, have the disappointment of another sub-par flush and I do know where my bottle of lutalyse is located.  I am sure that the results of this flush would have been a big, steaming pile of dog crap as 1) the donors and recips were already stressed as a result of the weather and 2) most flushes are exactly that–a flush of hopes, dreams and cash.  Even though we didn’t flush, there was still a pile of effort in the protocol and dollars spent on CIDRs, drugs and paraphanelia.  It still cost me $s, just not as much as the usual disapointment.  Thinking positive.  

     Man alive!  That was an ass-beating that ou put on the Okie State Cowboys.  That butt kicking felt like the Barry Switzer days.  There was no doubt which was the better team.  I fell asleep in the 3rd quarter hoping that something would change.  Unfortunately, I woke up as the gooners scored again to make it 58 points.  Throw in a last minute Notre Dame loss and it wasn’t a good night for the teams I watch.  

       Keep your critters warm.  Make sure that they get a good drink.  

       We had a successful Thanksgiving.  It was here in paradise, 3 miles south of Fargo.  My parents were here.  Both brothers and their families.  Even had a couple of family friends that attended dinner with us.  I love it that we have extended “family” that feel welcome enough to spend a holiday with us.  We also got to do a little facetime with our traveling Kelln.  

       I smoked a turkey.  I also threw some hot links on the smoker, just because there was room.  I will be smoking lots of hot links in the future.  Daniel smoked a really good brisket.  Mom cooked a ham (for Jake the Whiner).  She also baked a bunch of pies and cobblers.  The rest of the girls took care of all of the fixings.  The meal was great.  Dad brought an assortment of wines.  Tammy broke out a 2 year old Sand Plum Vodka.  SMOOTH.  Jake brought his usual–lots of conversation.  

      Then Dad broke out his gift to Mom.  Somebody did some jewelry shopping.  Today marked their 45th wedding anniversary.  They were married on Thanksgiving Day in 1970.  Congrats to them!   45 years is quite an accomplishment in this day and time.  And they must have done something right as all three boys are married to their one and only.  I know that I am WAY past the over on how long people thought that the Dragon Lady would keep me around.  

       We have a lot to be thankful for on this day.  GOD bless all of us.  

And then the weather went to crap.  But, at least we got some rain.  Have a good one and a better tomorrow.

Hope is….

an optimisitic outlook.

buying a show animal 10 months before the target show.

Christmas morning.

Batman.

having children.

sitting, waiting on somebody to finish the prayer so you can cut into Thanksgiving dinner.

sometimes futile waiting on an Okie State football national championship.

putting in CIDRs, giving shots, changing CIDRs, giving more shots and turning the buck in with the donor.

watching the news for the weather.

buying a new buck.

breaking in a new cap, shoes, boots, etc.

that moment when the animal you want comes into the sale ring but the bidding has yet to begin.  

shearing a long-haired wether.

ordering a meal at a restaurant that is new to you.

the instant that a newborn comes out and the realization that it is alive and it is a buck kid.

that the next song is your favorite.  

raising crops and/or livestock.

getting a facetime connection on Thanksgiving day.  

Here’s to hoping that you and yours have an excellent holiday week.  Prayers to our men & women that don’t get to be at home for the holidays.  Hope.

     The Dragon Lady can cook.  It didn’t used to be this good, but she realized quickly that she needed to do better.  And now, I will put her up against any chef, anywhere.  She can compete.  I’ve paid lots of money for steaks that were killer good, but not as good as what she can do on this Traeger.  

      Tonight, she served Duke and I a cured, smoked pork chop with wild rice and green beans. Throw in a texas toast slice with a butt-load of honey.  I like my pig when it comes time to eat.  Breakfast meats, smoked hog, sandwich meat or a dish like this.  I couldn’t convert to be a good Jew, 7th Day Adventist or any other religion that doesn’t allow eating pig.  I know my limitations.  If eating a pig is wrong, then I don’t want to be right.

       Every time that she serves a cured, smoked pork chop, I am reminded of a movie.  It is a well known fact that I am a Star Wars nerd. But, I may actually be a bigger LOTR nerd.  For you non-knowers, that is Lord Of The RIngs.  I loved these J.R.R. Tolkien books when I was a kid.  I have the cartoon movie version of The Hobbitt.  I absolutely enjoyed the Peter Jackson movies of The Hobbitt and the LOTR.  There is a line in one of the movies when a couple of hobbitts are smoking and eating when the other heroes ride up.  One of the hobbitts says, “The salted pork is particularly good.”  And Gimli, the dwarf says longingly with a hint of want in his voice, “Salted pork.”  I know that it doesn’t translate well into a blog, but I love the way that character delivered that line.  I like it so well that EVERY time I eat this, I think out loud about “Salted pork”.

      On a goat note.  I had the honor and privilege of putting on a show clinic at Cheyenne, OK this past Saturday.  It was hosted by Mr. Phillip Butler.  If you don’t know Mr. Butler, you need to.  He was a long-time ag teacher that was highly successful.  Numerous state champion public speakers.  His son served as the Oklahoma FFA President.  Mr. Butler is a fun one to talk to as there will be no negativitly and he will always have a story.  And it will be a funny story.  

       I want to commend Mr. Butler on organizing and hosting this clinic.  He did this as a service to his customers as well as any goat showers in Roger Mills county.  Excellent turnout for a cold Saturday morning.  But the kids were GREAT!  They were coachable.  Asked questions.  And were VERY respectful to each other, the adults and myself.  OUTSTANDING group of young showmen.  There was a good number of parents, ag teachers and grandparents that were present and asked questions as well as provided insight.  

       I thoroughly enjoyed having a part in this clinic.  Great group of people and a better set of kids.  I hope that the kids and adults got as much out of it as what I did.  Deals like this remind me why I like the show program and make me refresh myself on the basics.  Basically, it makes me do a better job.  I like it.  I always wonder what a run-down cordless drill battery feels like when it gets plugged into the charging station.  Now, I know.  Thanks.  

       Here’s to hoping that you all had a great today and a better tomorrow.

     And a big shout out to that daughter of mine that is absolutely living the dream.  I just sit and shake my head (and hope that nobody catches the tear in my eye) as I watch the videos that she sends her mother and I from around the world.  Livestock judging, showing animals, public speaking, leadership events, goal setting, strong morals and a whole lot of work ethic will pay off.  It is staggering what a kid can accomplish.  You just have to have the intestinal fortitude to do it.  

“Try not.  Do or do not.  There is no try.”  –Yoda

Or, if you prefer, in the words of another great philospher–“Git ‘er done!”–Larry the Cable Guy.

     I have referred to facebook as a socially transmitted disease. It is.  Too many ‘Mericans are addicted to checking it, posting, liking, sharing and creeping.  But it does have value.  On this Friday, I have laughed hard at facebook posts.

–The squatty potty video.  It is several minutes long, but worth the watch.  Very well written.  The whole rainbow swirl ice cream cone coming out of the back end of a unicorn is classic.  

–Another turd oriented video pushing a product–Poo Pourri.  Once again, well written bathroom jokes added with science-type videos that almost make you want to order some of this stuff.  I don’t know if the British accents helps or hurts this video.  

–Without a doubt, my favorite video is the little elephant that is “helicoptering” its trunk around.  No sound, just the title above the video.  I laugh because it is true.  And I totally relate.  

      And on another funny note.  The wind tends to blow in this part of paradise.  I came home to the west screen door hanging cock-eyed.  I inspected it and realized that it had literally tore the door from the frame.  The frame and door are not repairable.  I would really like to throw a wall-eyed fit at whoever didn’t shut the door properly.  But here are the facts–No matter who did it, I am the one that has to buy the new door and fix it.  So, I will just be pissed at myself for being the last one out that door.  And I will buy a new door and install the new door.  I am going to try to find a door that opens the opposite direction so that the wind can’t catch it.  

      Here’s to hoping that you all found some funny moments on this Friday.  

       I hate ’em but they are a neccesary evil.  I don’t check texts while driving.  Therefore, when I stop driving, I have forgetten that I have texts.  And in the meantime, more texts come in, so the earlier, un-opened texts get pushed down the line.  

      Texts are also an improper form of communication.  It is dang neart impossible to properly send a text with proper emotion tied to it.  It just comes across wrong.  And somebody can get butt-hurt, when no harm was intended.  

       Texts are very good at short, to the point messages.

 “Please feed kidding barn for me.  I’m going to be late.”  “Done.”   “Thanks.”

   “Send me so and so’s phone #.”  “Thanks.”  

       Texts are also very good at sending humour.  That’s the extent of my like of texts.  

     This Wednesday felt more like a Monday.  To start with, I had to meet a trailer on I-40 to pickup some online pig purchases.  On Monday morning, the driver planned on being to my stop by 9:30 or 10 am.  He also said that he would call me the night before.  There wasn’t a call, but I had talked to him a 2nd time on Monday evening.  I don’t like to be late, so I went ahead and made the drive.  As I was pulling in to the meeting point, I got a text “be there in 5 hours”.   Well $hi#!  I guess that I should have waited on the call.  So I made a 2nd 200 mile roundtrip drive to pickup these shoats.  At least I had time to get me an oreo blizzard at the Dairy Queen.  

     I actually have no complaints with this stock exchange.  I should have texted, called, whatever.  This was my first time to deal with this firm and my 2 shoats were a small percentage of what they were handling on this trip.  

      I finally made it back home so I coud do chores in the dark.  There was only two problems with chores tonight.  First, this evening is the start of an ET protocol for the next swirlie–I mean flush.  I can tell you that I am just about done with this flushing business.  Lots of dollars, time and effort with limited results.  Sure, it only takes that magical one to make it cashflow, but I would probably be better served spending that same time, money and effort managing my doe herd a tick better.  There is also something to be said for peace of mind.  It can be priceless.  Right now, if given the choice between flushing goats or being kicked in the nuts, I think that I would tell you to kick me twice.  This would be less painful as there is a kick when a donor doesn’t produce, another kick when you write the check and a third kick when recips don’t settle.  And sometimes, there is a fourth kick to the crotch that comes 4-5 months later when the recips spit them out one to two weeks early.   Or you only get 2 live births out of 12 that were installed.  Of course, I’ve also had a flush that produced 1 embryo.  Yes, just one.  UNO, that is correct, just one embryo.  And guess what?  He hatched out alive.  No, I am not going to name him UNO or ONE.  If anything, it might be Paul Harvey.  

       Obivously, I have high hopes for this upcoming flush.  Here’s the really stupid part.  Out of the seven does that will be flushed here next week–I own exactly NONE of the donors.  I am providing bucks on a couple of them and own some flush rights to a doe or two.  I also have some recips programmed in order to install some frozen embryos.  I am sure that will be another kick to the groin.  Now, throw in the fact that Bob Seelke, Jared Schneberger, Tommy Milligan and I could be just as successful at flushing goats as any of the people that we pay to give these swirlies.  Maybe not.  However, I promise that the four of us could make one heckuva how-to or how-not-to video.  Yes, there would be an edited version and an un-cut edition.  The un-cut version would be way better.  

     The 2nd problem with chores tonight–I cringe when people unload does at my house.  People keep their does TOO FAT.  A week or so ago, I unloaded three does.  I kind of owned these does but they had lived elsewhere and had been well cared for.  I knew that this would be a problem, but I went ahead and put them in general population.  General population at my house means free choice mineral, salt, oat hay and grazing.  And as of this past weekend, it also means a lush stand of green triticale to graze.  These three does were all big, mature does.  I have checked them morning and night–in the dark of course.  And as of this evening, Duke and I have hauled off two of these does.  Why?  Thiamine deficiency.  I’ve gone through a bottle of B1, a bunch of banamine, baytril, pen and drenched a bunch of fluids.  In the past decade plus of raising goats, I have only had one doe with thiamine deficiency.  hunh?!  That is kind of a Paul Harvey story in of itself.  I digress.  But, I have had problems with several that were brought in from other homes.  And on every occassion, the does looked awesome.  In other words, they were too fat.  What is the common thread?  Every time I get does here that are too fat, they have been living at some place that shows does.  A breeder doesn’t care what their does look like as long as they are healthy and can raise kids.  A doe shower, or somebody that just has a few around the place, trend towards “keeping them in excellent condition”.  One of the most hated questions that I have dealt with in the goat business–“How do our does look?”  Who gives a rat’s ass?!  How do those said does KIDS look is the important question!    

      Here’s my issue with thiamine deficiency.  How come I can’t give a “booster” shot to a suspect?  I’ve done it and still had problems.  It’s like they have to get the problem before you can cure the problem.  No prevention.  I am also aware that it is a  Time of Year kind of issue.  I’ve talked to several that have had the same problem in cattle.  

      I am sure that some of you will cringe at the thought of me not babying every doe.  It is against my religion to baby a doe or a cow, etc.  The good LORD put them on this Earth to roam, graze and be an animal.  They never go without at my hourse.  I just don’t allow welfare goats.  My does are healthy and produce.  They have live babies, milk good and raise kids.  If not, they go to the sale barn.  My replacements come from proven producers, that consistently raise good, healthy kids without problems and yes, they might have raised a good one or three.  Thus, the reason that our does work for others as well.  

      I end with a quote that I read while sitting at a truck stop near I 40.  “Men with courage do not slay dragons, they ride them.”  I don’t know why but I like that quote.  Of course, I also liked those “How to train your Dragon’ movies.  I apologize.  

      Here’s to a better tomorrow and hoping YOUR government hasn’t screwed anything up beyond repair.  I saw a nice picture (meme) of Sheriff Buford T. Justice.  I agree.

      We have some weird weather going on for November in paradise.  This weather would be normal for April or May–butt loads of wind, possible chance of a Tornasty, OKC news channels are over-sensationalizing what is actually going on in NW OK.  And it all makes people nervous.  Especially parents.  

      Had a dad that lives in central OK call because his daughter wasn’t answering her phone.  Tammy got her to answer and everything was fine.  Parents are supposed to be concerned.  That’s their job.  We are watching the weather and taking precautions here.  But, just as some parents are nervous about the weather out here.  Tammy and I get a bit concerned about the crap storm going on globally.  And we have a daughter that isn’t always easy to access during her travels.  So, you find things to keep your mind occupied.  Tammy cooks more than usual and keeps her phone, iPad and TV close by.  

     And me, well, I am at war again.  The battle of the birds in the barn is over.  At least until next spring.  The flies are pretty much gone.  The wasps never stood a chance this year.  The mice and rats are a year-round struggle.  I think a bunch of them drowned this year.  Most of them are immune to the tom-cat blocks that I have used.  And many others met their demise in other fashions.  I’m not yet at war with isis.  I am fighting a black/white war.  Not a race war.  Just a battle against Pepe Le Pew.  For some reason, skunks are thick this year.  They are attracted to goat feeders and dog food.  We have already limited the access to these tasty morsels.  

     In the middle of this wind storm, as Tammy was moving the corgis indoors, she spotted a striped cat in the tree row south of the house.  I grabbed a .22 with a light and headed out.  Couldn’t get a clear shot as the smell cat headed south into the pasture.  Sometimes, you just don’t want to shoot through an 11 wire fence.  So, I ran back to the house and grabbed a 12 gauge scatter gun.  With a light on the bill of my Special K cap and the skunk gun in hand, I headed south through the goat gates and into the pasture.  Yes, I ran to catch up to the smeller.  I almost got too close, but he is no more.  And he didn’t get a shot off at me.  That or the wind blew the smell away.  

     Hopefully this storm passes without doing damage.  

      Skunk hunting reminds me of a college story.  I was pledged to a fraternity.  We had a pledge meeting before classes started our freshman year.  We had to sit in a circle and each person tell some interesting facts about themselves.  This was to help us get to know each other.  I was set to go last.  Each pledge recited their resume–valedictorian, all-stater athlete, 4.0 student, band member, Eagle Scout, etc.  Looking back, it was an impressive array of students.  As each pledge told their story, it circled around towards me.  There was one dude left and then it would be my turn.  This dude had sit with his head slumped.  When it came his turn, he looked up, scanned the room and  announced his name–all 4 names and then his hometown–“Orlando–as in Oklahoma.  Not Florida, where the mouse lives.”  He had my attention.  He continued, ” I was born in the floorboard of a ’59 Ford truck and my favorite hobby is hunting skunks with baseball bats.”  I knew right then that I would get along with this guy.  

      Did I ever mention that Duke’s actual name is Connely Duke Kelln?  The Duke part comes from my Grandpa Duke Schneider.  That Connely dude is now, like a citizen of the year, banker, proud parent.  There are more stories.  

      Here’s to hoping that everybody can weather the storm.  Keep your head up and always be prepared to hunt a skunk with a baseball bat.  Or attend an AC/DC concert at a moment’s notice.  Dang, I miss college.  

        Hair has been an important part of 1st world civilization for the past century or so.  Yes, I am aware that many cultures have used certain hair styles to indicate rank, class and wealth over the course of history.  But, we have taken it to a whole new level.  Hippies, skinheads, preps, and followers of Hare Krishna are just a few social themes that have had their moments.  Dennis Rodman used his hair as a billboard.  Don King is (was) easily recognizable at a boxing press conference because of his hair and his mouth. (Is he still alive?)   I think that we are all aware of Donald Trump’s hair do or hair don’t.  There have been specific haircuts tied to a celebrity–the Farrah Fawcet flip, Mr. T, the Rachel and maybe the worst, but most recognizable do of all-time–the Boz.  There have been times when it was cool to be shaggy–top and bottom.  Then there have been times it was cool to be as slick as Kojak.  Manscape is actually a term.  It is the month of November, excuse me, I meant Movember.  Men are supposed to grow facial hair this month–moustache, beard or goatee.  

      I have found that the older I get and the grayer the hair gets, the more hair I can grow.  Not just on my head.  Nose hair, eyebrows, ear hair and back hair.  It happens.    Several years ago, Tammy, Kela and Duke had fun referring to me as their “silverback” while we were in Costa Rica.  The positive thing is I still have lots of hair on my head.  Hair is a genetic thing–regardless of species.  My dad says “That GOD made some people with a perfect head.  The rest, well he gave them a full head of hair.”  Sure thing there, slick.  My brothers have hair, but they have limitations.  Me.  I can grow hair on my head like a yeti.  The only problem is that I like my hair short.  Not for looks, but for comfort.  The hair on my head is thick and grows fast.  I could go full Willie Nelson in a month or so if I had the need or desire.  Facial hair–I have the hair of a pure Berkshire hog.  Black, coarse and doesn’t grow or lay like you would want it to do.  A good looking beard or stache, well, I am limited in that regard.  But these hairs can dull a razor in a hurry.

      The livestock show is just like society.  Recent history has shown us to be worried about hair quantity and quality.  Cattle breeders started this craze.  Goats have hid behind hair from the get-go.  Sheep jocks are growing leg shag in epic proportions.  And even the hog boys worry about hair and hide.  I love the look of an expertly carved market steer that is kept in proprotion.  I am not necessarily a proponent of slicking steers, but slick shearing steers in Texas has probably resulted in the production of better cattle.  Slick shearing sheep has done the same.  I would bet that the Boer goat breed would improve drastically if the ABGA nationals slicked the bucks.  

       At goat shows, I am amazed/apalled at the amount of time and effort that I, as well as others, put into fitting legs on a wether.  Make ’em look big, make ’em look right, make ’em look good.  Why?  Because I/we feel the need to do everything that we possibly can do to look the part.  Fine. But any judge with one or two working eyes can tell.  

      Numerous show supply companys have built empires selling and developing hair care products and hair growth snake oils.  Cool rooms are a staple in the cattle business.  Rinsing and blowing is a must for cattle, sheep and goats.  Brushing and deep wood chips are a requirement in the hog arena.  

      I have no problem with all of this livestock hair care.  It probably does more for work ethic, presentation and actually working with the animal than any other thing that we do.  Hair care is a hands-on activity.  But…all of this hair work still does NOT affect the end result–the production of a high quality carcass.  And in a market show, we should be looking for the highest quality carcass on a structurally correct, well balanced animal that can function in the real world.  

      Sometimes, just sometimes, we forget about this and worry more about how the picture will look.  And then we market from said picture.  

Cheers to those that are in San Angelo for the Lone Star Elite Jackpot.  Duke and I would like to be there.  But, sometimes you just know that it is time to stay home.  Good luck. 

        Here’s what I know on this day.

     I was reminded that I live in NW Oklahoma as the wind has howled and the temperature has changed drastically.  Not a day that one should open more than one vehicle door at a time.  The dash on a 4 door pickup can get cleaned in a hurry.

     It is Veteran’s Day.  Yes, the Shattuck Veteran’s Program was last night.  It was AWESOME!  Thanks to all of the vets and the men & women serving our country at this time.  

     I know that my middle brother has lots of spare time on his hands since he has changed careers.  That dude is all over facebook.  

     A starbuck’s cup?!–this falls under the category of “I could give two rats donkey’s in a wool sock” about this.  Why any of you people EVER bother to give that company or other crap holes like chipotle, target, etc. a dollar is beyond me.  Give me a good, local business and I will gladly pay more to get what I want.  

     I really wish that I didn’t have to see or hear of anything that has to do with a kardashian or a jenner.  Courage–my ass.  Courage is a word for soldiers, cops, firefighters, teachers, prison guards, nurses, EMTs, pilots, Taxi passengers and anybody that cleans a public restroom.  That other deal–no, it doesn’t qualify as courage.

     I have always been a fan of Aerosmith.  They put on a good live show and have had staying power–70s, 80s, 90s, 00s and are still relevant when they want to be.  One of my favorite Aerosmith songs is “Dude looks like a lady”.  I wish hillary would use that as her intro song at functions as she runs for the office of YOUR president.

     Now, let’s segue into the next thought of the day that involves a dude in a dress.  I personally think that if a school cafeteria is going to serve sloppy joe’s then it should be a REQUIREMENT to play the SNL sketch of Adam Sandler’s  “Lunch Lady”.  Adam Sandler singing his Lunch Lady song while Chris Farley, dressed as a lunch lady, dances with a sloppy joe would put everyone in a better mood for the rest of the day.  If you haven’t seen it or don’t remember it–google it.  Slop, sloppy joe.  

     I know that Thursday, Nov. 12 is the Shattuck FFA equipment online auction.  Go to oklahomashowgoats.com, yournextchampion.com or shattuck.k12.ok.us homepage to find a banner with the sale link.  The trailer is slick, the golf club is like new and the rest of the stuff is needed by all of us.  Check it out.