It was past time to start kidding again.  Two days past time.  This fact alone was making me a bit nervous.  Now throw in the fact that it was a first time doe, although she is a 2 year old.  Finally, she was in labor on Monday evening.  It was a hard pull.  A very hard pull. C section was crossing my mind.  Luckily, Muret was here.  He held the horns while I ran the chains.  And it was the dreaded single, buck kid.  Any time there is a hard birthing, you can bet it will be a single, buck kid.  The doe did her part pushing and I have felt smaller pelvic area.  The kid was big.  Really big.  And no, he didn’t make it.  Hopefully, this is the end of this stuff.

Useless…

as tits on a boar hog.  

as a one legged man in a donkey kicking contest.

as an ejection seat on a helicopter.

as non-portable sheds, panels, feeders, etc. at some goat ranches. 

as a white crayon.

as a corgi for a guard dog.

as Ron Simonson after several days of slaying fish.  

as a wire panel between two does.  

Forgive me…but….useless

as balls on a priest.

as tits on a nun.  

I actually remember a joke from circa 1986 about the use (or lack of use) of flies.  And those previous two items were part of the joke.  I’m sorry MOM!  But it is a good joke. 

I spent most of this Saturday thinking about useless things.  Two things dominated my thoughts.  Useless as a public school calendar after May 1.  Useless as a 15 year old boy on some days.  

Speaking of useless…..I haven’t heard from Frazier, Milligan, Schneberger or Schovanec today.  For that matter, I hadn’t talked to either of my brothers.  Maybe my phone is dead again.  

And here’s to hoping that all of you had a productive weekend.  Horseshoes and shamrocks.  And i’m not gonna win the lottery this week because I didn’t buy any tickets.  So, I guess that I will just keep playing the lottery of life.  

It is May 14. Something happens on May 15.  

It is a known fact that I like to listen to good music.  I don’t care what the genre is, as long as it is good.  I had the opportunity to go watch the Shattuck Jr & Sr High School choirs perform their spring concert tonight. Way talented bunch of kids.  And the adults that help are obviously doing something right.  It is amazing that these meatheads can sound that good.  And they have the hardware to back it up. Lots of plagues and tropies from Tri-State, All State, and all those other choir contests.  Hats off to a job well done!

Speaking of good music, George Jones is a country music icon that comes with lots of stories.  I haven’t seen him live, but George Jones has some all time great hits and he wrote even more.  He has several nicknames–like the Possum and No Show Jones.  The latter is not a cool thing.  

I had an appointment to get my haircut today.  These ladies squeezed me in.  Normally, they are both busy styling hair with more waiting.  Not today.  One of them started shearing my hair.  As she did, I noticed that the hair falling onto the tarp that was covering me, well, this hair was not salt & pepper anymore.  It was just really salty.  But, at least I still have a full head of hair.  

Now back to the no show part.  I kind of asked if this was a slow day. Nope.  Just a bunch of no shows and cancellations.  I even made the comment, “I bet that this is more of a male problem than a female thing?”  Nope.  Some of these customers regularly cancel and re-schedule.  I then said, “I wouldn’t be afraid to fire a customer if they do this consistently.  If they do this on a regular basis, then make them stop.  They can go elsewhere, but they only will a time or two.  They will be back.  Break them to lead.”

No shows are not a good thing in any industry.  They waste time and cost money.  I am sure that these ladies could have scheduled other customers for today if they weren’t already booked full.  I can tell you that mechanic shops schedule to make sure that there is always consistent work.  I guarantee you that medical practices stack the books in order to keep the chutes full at all times.  This would also include your local veterinarians.  Think of it as working cattle.  There might be one in the headgate, with several head in the alley and a few more in the tub.  If you need to take a phone call, fine.  The calves are waiting on you.  But there is steady work.  Of course, this is a two way street.  You better keep the line moving and do quality work or the the customer will go elsewhere.  

So, the next time you are waiting somewhere, it is probably because of no shows.  If you are a no show problem, don’t gripe when waiting.  People that rely on keeping a chair full in order to make a living are better off always having a few waiting a couple of minutes.  No shows cost all of us.  

I just spent time on the Socially Transmitted Disease known as facebook.  Dang, that deal can be addictive.  However, there is some cool stuff if you can stand to sort through all of the crap. I scroll through looking for goat, cattle or pig pics.  I even stop to look at some wicked cool sheep pics.  However, the best parts are the people stuff.  I had to stop and read a post about Tim Crissup.  Truly, one of the best small town dudes that I have ever met.  Great teacher, co-worker, parent, townsman, and grandparent.   RUKM?  He and his wife are some of the best that you can possibly meet.  Their kids….even better.  I’ve got lots of great Crissup family stories.  Every one of them ends in a smile.  Great people.  

Then I see the pic of all the Burlington ag teachers at the Burlington, OK FFA Banquet.  Icons, industry leaders, personal friends, maybe even a partner in crime or three.  No matter.  An impressive set of ag teachers.  When I look at the pic, I get a bit nostalgic.  Lots of history, stories and most of all, those dudes can stilll recall the student successes stories. And with this crew, we are talking huge success stories.  

Next, there is a pic of a student that did well at a sporting meet.  Not as good as he would have liked.  But real good.  He is a great kid, from a great family and will do well in life at whatever he so chooses.  I wanted to type something creative, but decided not.  Why?  Once you hit submit on that facebook crap, it is out there for the world to see.  That is the power of these STDs. A screenshot or two, and it lives in infamy.  Even though  a post may be harmless, one needs to take a step back before hitting submit.  

Here’s to great today’s and better tomorrows.  I need a haircut, a break from the school calendar and a better exercise program. 

RUSM?  Your federal government is wasting time and dollars to sue North Carolina over this whole bathroom deal.  Jeeminy christmas….I now have a headache.  This crap is simple people.  I don’t care what you believe.  And I will not tell you what to believe.  But do NOT tell me what I should believe.  I think that I will just step away from the keyboard and stand there…for a minute or so….shaking my head.  

And if you need my opinion, call me and “I will tell it to yer face.  Swhear to GOD, I will.”   Yeah, I might have watched one too many Donnie Baker youtube videos.  I apologize.  

     Yes, it has been a day or 4 since I have hit the keyboard.  For one, Duke and I were hooked up on the 5th.  It was a screwed up day at school, so he got some welding done.  I used the detention kids to get some work done at the ag farm.  Good Trade.  They didn’t want to stare at homework that they were not going to work on and I needed some manual labor done.  I think that I have mentioned that I like the barter system.  Well, it still works as long as you keep the PC police and the government out of it.        

      The 6th found us on the road.  We headed south to Stephenville.  Delivered a doe, then went to the Hard 8 for some BBQ.  It was really good.  The atmosphere was excellent.  Then we tried to find a hotel room.  I wasn’t aware that Tarleton State was having graduation that weekend.  That wiped out the rooms in Stephenville.  So, we headed to Granbury.  No Go there also.  So we ended up at a Scottish Inn close to Ft. Worth.  It was great.  They had a room with a hot tub.  

The 7th found us at the Pick your Poison sale.  Really good set of goats with several being top shelf.  Henkhaus had some wicked power in some Bad Habit kids.  Walker had some shapely handling deals out of Black Rhino.  There were some cool prospects from Halfmann, Ann Shafer, Cramblett and TW that all had a chance to feed.  I marked a lot of #s, but they sold well.  The sale was well ran with a heckuva crowd.  The burritos were outstanding.  Fat kid approved–yes sir.   If a person is needing Jan & Feb wethers, this is a must attend sale.  I will go back.  Duke and I stuck around for the BTW sale.  Once again, a really good set of goats, good crowd and the good ones brought good money.  

Duke and I headed north.  We couldn’t get to a tv for the Kentucky Derby, so we listened to it on xm radio.  Horseracing is a sport that still plays well on the radio.  I only wish that I was there in person.  Some day.  I don’t have an actual bucket list.  But, I could picture the Dragon Lady in big hat sipping on a mint julep.  

We stopped at a McDonald’s in Sayre, Ok.  I ordered McNuggets.  Duke looked at me like “WITH? is wrong with you?”  I don’t know.  I didn’t buy a goat on this trip.  The DQ blizzard didn’t give me gut problems and now I am ordereing McNuggets for the first time since 2011.  Wierd trip.  

And now it is May 8th.  Mother’s Day.  Congrats to Duke & Kela’s mom, my mom, Tammy’s mom and all of the other mothers.  This May 8, 2016, means that 26 years ago, Tammy and I became parents.  The result of that birthdate now lives in LA and has traveled to most continents.   Happy Birthday to Kela.  She no longer has a little brother, just a younger one.  She now has insurance payments.  But her travel log, passport and resume reads a helluva lot more interesting than anybody that I know.  The first 26 years have been pretty cool to be a part of.  I’m ready to see the next 26.  Which will make me real old.  

By the way.  I didn’t plan on living to 40.  Now, I have to stick around to see what Kela and Duke can get done.  

Shamrocks and horseshoes.  And throw in 26 birthday candles for Kela.  

May the 4th be with you. I wish that I had time to sit in front of the tube and watch some Star Wars on this fine day. Probably won’t happen.

I understand the value of a text message.  But I DON’T like them as a primary means of communication.  

I can sound like an ass in a regular conversation, but I can sound real bad in a text message.  I don’t always mean to, but… it happens.  I apoligize to any that I offend via text.  But, I would rather talk to you than text you.  I guess that I am old.  So be it.  There are just some areas that I know that I am right and this is one of them.  

Years ago, a student got me a keychain.  We’re talking about 1997 or so.  The keychain read,  “I am not opinionated.  I am just always right.”  Almost two decades later and I wouldn’t argue.  How do you know when I am wrong?  I am quiet. 

I like texting a quick pic of MY dog on the gator to Kela.  I like reading group texts from Milligan, Frazier and the boys.  I don’t like texts from the Dragon Lady regarding Duke and his scholastic (un)approval of his academic teachers.  I love texts from Muret or Lamle.  I like texts from Brandon The Bruce because I realize that texting wasn’t made for large hands. 

Here’s to wishing all of you some horseshoes and shamrocks or whatever else rocks your world.  Peace on Earth!  And yes, May the 4th be with you.  I need the Darth Vader theme song playing in the background.

I’m not very good at.  Actually, that is not true.  I am real good at planning 4 to 3 days or less ahead.  I actually get real good at planning the night before.  That whole week ahead can cause problems.  A lot can change in a week’s time.  

I am glad that the State FFA Convention is over.  One more thing marked off of the calendar.  Now, it is time to start looking forward to goat sales.  Yeah, I know that I have missed some sales, but Duke and I needed some closure.  There is a term to be said for empty pens–that term is PRICELESS!!!  Sometimes, a low rent dude like Duke and/or myself needs a bit of closure, some piece of mind and then recharge the batteries.  We’ll probably get beat because of this strategy but at least we will be in a good humour!!  Then again, we are kind of late chargers that do well running from behind.  Maybe, we need a little mud thrown in our face.  

I am planning on attending some sales in Stephenville, TX this weekend.  I am normally tied up this weekend but it looks like I can actually make it to the Pick your Poison sale.  I’ve always wanted to attend, but it just hasn’t worked out.  Looks like this is my lucky weekend.  I saw Schneberger’s goats that will be selling at this sale and I figure that I need to go to try to gather some $500 wethers.  Actually, there are a couple that I will bid past $500 in order to own.  Maybe $550 if the auctioneer doesn’t screw me over. I just hope that no Texans want to own an Okie bred goat or 3.  

I did inquire about the sale and the hospitalities.  I was told that lunch will be good and I quote that it was “Fat kid approved.”  I don’t know if this means that Parrish says it will be good or what?  But, I do know to trust a fat kid when it comes time to eat.  Especially, if they used to be a jockey.  

Speaking of eating.  JQ Kelln reported in from Corky’s BBQ in Memphis.  It ain’t fair.  That is one that I haven’t been to yet.  Somebody near Memphis needs to sell a good animal so that I have a reason to be in the area.  

I always like the ending to the Shawshank Redemption movie.  I hope.

I hope to see good goats this weekend. I hope to buy a goat or three.  I hope to deal with good people.  I hope to have fun.  I hope.  

      Wait, since we are talking about good stuff and hope, then I might need to mention that Tammy’s mom & dad have struck all state gold again.  It is that time of year again when they announce All State awards.  Bradyn Sellars of Elgin, OK was named as All State in soccer.  Wicked Cool!  It is beginning to seem like Darrel and Linda just make an annual trip to witness All State anouncements for grandkids.  I guess that is what retirement is supposed to be like.  I just hope that their grandkids can keep the tradition going.  Congrats to Bradyn!!

Not to downplay the world’s most popular sport of soccer at all. But, I have a story. Years ago, circa 1999 or so, I had a school try to hire me. They tried to sell me on the

point that they had soccer at their school. One of their board members told me that he had watched a soccer match and that it was a lot like sex. Wait? What? He said,

“Yeah, this soccer must be a lot like sex. It’s a lot of fun to do, but not much fun to watch others doing it.” I’ve got nothing.

Some places and some times while doing some things just seem to be just right more than others.  Like Happy Gilmore, we each have a happy place to go to in times of need.  Everybody has a list of these places and times.  There ain’t a wrong answer.  Here’s this list ( in no particular order)

1.–Sorting good stock.  Whether it be cattle, goats, pigs, dogs, chickens or even a sheep, I just like sorting good livestock.   It doesn’t matter if it is 115 degrees F,  west of Turkey, TX in a pen with hundreds of goats, sorting through well fitted cattle or studying baby pigs on fresh wood chips…I like it.  

2–Stillwater, OK. 

3–At home, with the phone off, getting your own stuff done on a nice day.  Hard to beat a day like that.  What’s the term?  Priceless!!   That would be today.  Horns burnt.  Stuff planted.  Animals tagged, vaccinated, moved, etc  

4–West of Mutual, OK with numerous friends, watching kids hunt quail.  Good day!

5.–At a concert and the band actually sounds better live.

6.–Floating the Comal River.  Then eating supper at Gruene.

7.–Catching a fish.  Any fish.  Anywhere.  Any time.  

8.–Busch Stadium, Fenway Park, etc.  

9.–Pulled up to a table at Cooper’s or any other stellar restaurant.  

10.–Reallizing that your kids are better than you hoped that they could be.  

11.–Sitting somewhere on a nice day, talking livestock with some other like minded fool. 

12.–Christmas Eve–this would be my #1 day of the year, just about every year. 

13.–Watching a kid achieve a goal.  Makes it all worthwhile. 

I’m going to go on the record and say that Duke has had a big day today.  His buddy,Vegas Gambill, showed up here at Paradise about 7 AM.  They went turkey hunting at Tyke’s.  Then went to Wolf Creek and stomped around.  Then went to a party at noon.  Free Food.  Then went fishing at Gage.  Then came back to Fargo.  And then left to go hunting again.  I don’t even know if they shot a turkey or caught a fish, but that is a good day whether you are 15 or 45.  

Get to your happy place.  I hope you all have nothing but horseshoes and shamrocks!  

Between getting my eyes flash-burnt yesterday while helping Duke weld and trimming nose hairs this morning, it seems like I have been crying a lot.  The eyes are staying red and moist.  I think that I might need to put new batteries in the nose hair trimmer.  I need to burn some horns, vaccinate and ear tag some critters.  Plus, the Dragon Lady is wanting the rest of her garden stuff done.  Probably going to be more tears shed!   

Have a good one.