I think a need a new calendar.  The one’s that I have say that it is the last couple of days of July.  But then I go outside and it is 60 some degrees and wet.  Plus it’s green outside.  WTH?  This can’t be NW OK in July.  The calendar must be wrong.  After 5 years of 113 degree summer days from May to September, I guess it’s good to finally have some cool and wet.  The people that planted sowed feed and milo look pretty smart this year.  The wheat followed by double-crop beans will work.  They should have a heckuva crop.  

      It doesn’t matter what time of year it is, when it is wet, goats get the shits.  I like the moisture.  But, now I am thinking, heck it is almost August, I better get a grazing crop plan together for this winter.  I might want to take advantage of this soil moisture and drill in August.  Triticale vs. wheat.  Turnips?  Maybe some deep tillage radishes. WInter peas?  I might ought to get with Heith Sander and get seed ordered and actually have a plan in place.  Planning ahead?  That’s somewhat a new concept for me.  

      Combine all of my career changes, a cool, wet summer and I don’t even know if I need a calendar anymore.  Things still seem to happen without much planning.  All I know for sure is that when I see pics of me feeding critters at a zoo is that there is more gray than black on my head and I’m thicker than I used to be.  The calendar says that I should start working out tomorrow.  My butt cheek says, “It’s going to be a few more days.  Better buy pants with a bigger waist, fat ass.”  Once again, the calendar is wrong.  

      Have a good day and a better tomorrow, no matter what month or date it is.  Stay flexible but not limp.  

      The Kelln Klan has made it back to Oklahoma.  And we are happy to be back.  It was nice coming home to decent weather and healthy animals.  It’s great to have good people to watch out for stuff when you have to be gone.  Thanks to all that check on goats, cattle and dogs.  

     Where to begin?  It was great seeing our “little girl”.  She is doing well in California.  As a Dad, I am dang proud that she is chasing her own dreams and goals and is not afraid to work towards those goals.  Also, as a parent, I wish the hell she would do it closer to home.  She served as hostess and chaffeur this past week.  Those LA drivers drive like CRAP and Kela handles it well.  She isn’t afraid to cut a u-ey just about anywhere.  Me, I’d have to cuss, throw stuff and threaten to ram people in that maze of asphalt and people.  

      Kela drove the four of us to San Diego for the weekend.  We like animals.  This zoo is off-the-hook killer good.  First of all, it is loaded with cool animals.  Secondly, it is a true modern marvel of architecture, technology and engineering.  The mere fact of the sheer # of animals & people all located on about a 100 acres.  The design that makes it good for animals, the flow of water, the flow of people and keeping it all aesthetic, useful and always within reach of a snack bar and a restroom.  This zoo will wear you out, but it is also very user friendly.  I HIGHLY recommend taking kids and old farts to this zoo.  

     To answer the important questions, NO!   They didn’t have any penguins on the menu.  They also didn’t let me pet a Koala.  Why?  I offered cash.  I offered to clean pens.  We were there before the gates opened.  And when they did, the four of us headed to the Koala exhibit.  We watched the caretakers as they fed and cleaned each pen.  I offered to help.  They turned me down.  I had to watch as a caretaker rubbed a Koala’s belly literally 6 feet from me.  It was a Koala teaze.  And there were no bouncers to keep me from hopping the fence.  But I didn’t.  Here I was within feet of them.  They are kooler than I thought.  I mean, I really want to hold one and give them a dutch rub kind of kute.   

     The zoo volunteers asked if there was anything that they could do to help us enjoy our visit.  I said, “Yes.  I wish that one of you would volunteer to hold a Koala while I pet it.  They explained why they couldn’t.  I said, “Give me a price to pay?”  The reply, “$10 million dollars.”  I said, “I can fly to Australia cheaper than that and pet one at the airport.”  Their reply, “Not anymore.  The Australian government owns ALL Koalas and has banned them being treated like pets.  These Koalas are “on loan” to the San Diego Zoo.  Caretakers are the only ones allowed to touch them.”  Damn politics.  

      They were still worth seeing.  Plus, the sight of a month old Giraffe.  Feeding Giraffes and Rhinos.  Watching the polar bears.  A really cool otter vs. monkey play time and the monkey caught the otter by the tail and then all heck broke loose.  That wasn’t supposed to happen.  And we watched a monkey breast-stroke, underwater.  Oh, and did I mention Pandas?  Watching a year old Panda slide backwards down a log for about 8′ was fun.  Amur Leopard and a Snow Leopard were worth the fare to get in. 

      Between the Zoo and the Safari, I left a lot of cash in that part of the world.  But it was all stuff that none of us have ever done, may never get to do again and it was as a family.  Money well spent.  We had fun.  

      San Diego was a really clean city.  Coronado Island is cool.  The food was way good.  I’d go back.  i just wish that there would have been a ball game to go see. 

      The traffic between LA and San Diego—Whew!  Six lanes headed south on the interstate, all at a standstill, at 3 in the afternoon.  I don’t get it.  But, I got lots of window time looking at the drought in California.  They are dry.  WAY DRY!  And it’s easy to see why their fires can get widespread in a hurry.  

     On Monday night, we went to Hollywood and Vine.  One, to eat supper.  We hit an Irish Pub that had way good burgers, reubens and hot wings.  They might also have a drink special or two.  And the prices were good.  Two, to go see the Chinese Theater and all of the nocturnal life that happens.  Crazy!  

      The best part of going to California–to see Kela.  The 2nd best part–no wind.  

      There is a stellar goat market in California.  I might have to go back.  

There is a lot about Cali that is just like I expected. LOTS of people. Traffic is horrible. The seafood is killer. Everybody needs to go check out the inhabitants of Venice Beach. Interesting would be an under rated word describing some of these people. For years, I have heard about the In N Out burger chains. They are consistently on top burger lists. We visited one today. I have never seen a fast food restaurant this busy. It was crazy. Walk in had several lines. The drive through was packed. There was a kid taking orders out in the parking lot. The efficiency of this place was awesome. They rolled people and burgers through at a pace that would make McDonald’s envious. I ordered a double/double, animal style w/out maters or onions. It was a good burger, the fries were common and the prices were fine. Great burger–No. Way over-rated. I would go back, but I wouldn’t drive out of my way for one. We toured Warner Bros. It was a good time to go as they are celebrating 75 years of Batman. Lots of cool Batman props and info. Had a fun talk with a security guard about meeting the Joker (Nicholson) and Batman (Keaton). On to San Diego.

Feeders are full, neighborhood patrol alerted, security system set and Tyler will be taking care of the Kelln Kompound for a day or two while we head west. We are lucky to have somebody like Tyler that can stay there and take care of the stock and he knows what to do and can tend to the stock as needed. He is the resident herdsman for Tyke & Taylor also. It’s money well spent. Of course, the fridge needs to be stocked. It looks like summer finally got here. Feeding won’t be the big job. Checking the floats on tanks, filling waterers and checking the solar pumps for the cows is the main thing. Have a good day. Be like Fonzie and stay cool.

       Says the Dragon Lady.  “You went to Quitaque, Texas and did not come home with a wether? What’s wrong with you?”  

They weren’t for sale.  I bought does.  He has a LOT of does–big and small.  Look at them.  They’re good.  Lunch was good.  

      Then she said, “You ARE retarded.  James Sweet better have written the check for those.”  At this point, James grunted and ducked to get out of the way.  

Uh-Oh!  “Nope.  I wrote the check. Duke might want to show a doe.”  The BS meter was spiking at that point.  “But Honey, they can raise really good wethers.”  

      We found the breaking point.  I quickly learned that I already had too many does and didn’t need to buy any more and that I am mentally challenged and that I am a moron and… and… and…

       And big thanks to James who just stood there and agreed with her.  Ahh, well, I’ve got thick skin.  I’ve done dumber stuff than this and I can prove it.

Yes, there were wethers out there.  But they are going to be sold at the August ranch sale and then at Labor Day.  Alright, I’ll wait till then.  

     So, yes, I went there and didn’t buy a wether.  Does?  Yes.  I saw a pile of good ones.  More importantly, I actually did the impossible. I left that ranch with a check.    Of course, the check I wrote was bigger than the one I got.  It all keeps the economy in the goat world going in a positive direction.  Moving like water in a stream. 

     I am now going on the third week since I pulled a muscle.  This muscle strain has affected me.  It’s not that I jogged or ran on a daily basis.  But I run from time to time from one pen to the next, or run to catch a goat or if I need the does gathered, I used to run out and run them into the corral.  But not lately.  I can’t.  It hurts.  Hurts bad.  

      It isn’t a hamstring, but is like the muscle on top of where your hamstring hooks up at the top, right in the middle of my right ass cheek.  I can walk, stroll or meander but if I try to hurry up….OWWW!!!   

      As a result, I am getting fatter.  My diet hasn’t changed, my habits haven’t gotten any worse, but I have gotten fatter.  The past week has become noticeable as most of my camo shorts have became harder to button.  I need to get this cheek muscle healed up before I have to buy new shorts or pants.  

     Now here is the real dilemma.  What happens if I get to the zoo this upcoming week and they tell me, “If you can catch that penguin, then you can grill it and eat it.”?    I’ll tell you what will happen…I’ll walk with a limp for the rest of my life as I will NOT miss an opportunity and I WILL catch said penguin.  Pain be damned.  

     Here’s to hoping that week 4 brings a healed butt muscle.

p.s.  Last night, I wrote a wicked good post about “dirty pool”.  It was so good that I woke up about 3:47 am thinking about what I needed to add to that post.  That means that I missed part of a Law & Order:SVU episode.  I didn’t name names or anything like that, just good old stuff to think about before you do something stupid and sign on with the devil just to win a banner.  Nothing more than considering the collateral damage of winning at all costs.  

      Well, I wear glasses because my right eye is 9 times kind of screwed (bad decisions back in the 80s–I wasn’t afraid of a fight.  Won some, but not all. Some that I won, weren’t exactly winners either.  And for some reason, my right eye always caught the punch, kick, full can, remote controlled airplane propeller, etc.)  That being said, I have a really good left eye 20/20.  My right eye—hhnunnh–more like 20/300 without glasses.  Normally, I put the glasses on to go to the computer.  Not this morning.  So when I went to blog entry management, I had to click on a button–there are two of them–EDIT or DELETE.  Guess what?  DELETE is on the right.  I thought I was clicking on EDIT.  Nope, I deleted a 1,200 word post that everybody that shows livestock needed to see.  But, it is gone. Like a fart in the wind.   Kind of like Hee Haw—–And Thhhighttt  she was gone.  

       The moral of the story, if I am looking at your goat, make sure I have glasses on my face.  Or at least one of those creepy monocles on my right eye.  Or better yet, a pirate patch on my right eye that has a built-in monocle in the patch.  Yeah, with a parrot on my shoulder.  While wearing a kilt.  And if this butt muscle doesn’t heal up, I’ll get a peg leg.  Wait?  How the H did we get here?  

     Have a good evening and a better tomorrow.  I’m one day closer to seeing my favorite daughter.  

      Like a great Whitesnake song, “Here I go again”.   Duke and I are in the process of cleaning the Shattuck Ag Building.  Three semi loads of junk metal are hauled off.  One dumpster of trash out of the greenhouse.  Three more dumpsters out of the classroom and shop.  20 out of 28 bulbs in the shop have been replaced and are now working.  30 of the 32 bulbs in the classroom have been replaced and are working.  The classroom has been painted and the floors redone.  The old computers are chunked (part of a dumpster load).  New computers are ordered.  Now, that we have shed some light, we can really see the cleaning that needs to be done.  But, we can’t find any brooms in the shop.  Hhmm!?  Haven’t found any horseshoes or shamrocks in all of this crap.  But there is one heckuva crop of sandburs growing on the west side of the building.  Now that we are rid of all the junk metal, we can get a mower in there.        On a goat note, Rumour was busy last night.  He has gotten kind of cantankerous lately.  He should be in a better mood.  Amazing how that works out, regardless of species.  If things go as planned, should be plenty of December born babies in 2014. 

     Woke up this morning and remembered that I needed to give shots in order to sync does.  By 8 am, does had been gathered, sorted, shots given, chores done, wormed show wethers and back inside.  Some mornings just call for a pan full of Cocoa Puffs and milk.  Eat the cereal and then drink the chocolatey left over milk out of the pan.  Rewards.

     For syncing does, I’ve been using 2 ccs of lutalyse given IM.  Eleven days later, 2 more ccs of lutalyse.  Normally, they are in heat with 48 hours.  

     The weather has been pleasantly unusual.  Wednesday through Friday was overcast, cool and wet.  We recieved about 2″ total out of the 3 days.  We haven’t filled ponds, but we have moisture.  That is good.  Although, I am thankful for the moisture, goats do NOT like wet weather.  It doesn’t take much moisture and there will be snotty noses and nasty asses.  

     I think I will let these coca puffs & milk settle.  Then I am headed to an equipment, land and gun auction.  Have a good day.  

     My summer just seems to stay as screwed up as an upside down tackle box.  I have no one to blame, but it isn’t all my fault.  No matter.  The summer weather is proving that it is a pile of coat hangers kind of year.  RUKM?!   It is 70 degrees and wet & green, in July.  We WILL Gladly take it.  

     In a week or so, I am going to California.  A first for Duke and I.  Duke, Tammy and I are going to see Kela, which is the main attraction for us in California. I can’t wait.  Now, for those of you that kind of know me, most of you would think that I am motivated by a grand trophy, cashing a check, maybe a bud light or 8, or just a good time.  Well, you would be correct.  But, not entirely.  

      Seeing my kids do well tops all lists.  PERIOD.  I didn’t say win.  I said do well.  And yes, they can be one in the same.  I want to see Duke light up as he sees big sister in her now-natural habitat.  Mom will be way happy.  And all of the above will make me happy.  

      Other than the kid factor, and a Dragon Lady, what turns me ON?   Animals, zoos, tv shows about animals, books about animals, websites about….animals.  SInce before I could walk, talk, whatever, I have been addicted to animals.  What kind?  ALL!   I love zoos.  I love nature channels.  You want to keep me from going out?  Simple.  Show me a WILD AMERICA program with Marty Stouffer or a Mutual of Omaha wildlife show.  I’m glued till the end.  Even if I had seen that episode before.  

  Now, what is my problem?  Here it is.   We are going to end up at the San Diego Zoo.  The ZOO of ALL zoos.  To say the least, I’m kind of amped up.  I can’t sleep as I lile there thinking about the zoo.  I have read about, watched videos, etc about this zoo for almost 40 years.  It’s like a pilgramage.  Except more religous.  Jack Hannah, Letterman, Leno, Johnny Carson, Mr. Rogers,  I mean son-of-a-jeeminy holy, even Captain Kangaroo had guests from the San Diego Zoo.  It is going to be hard to meet my expecatations.  It’s like Joe Dirt and Silvertown.  Except, I’ve never seen this zoo.  But I’m going to.  ALL of it.  

       The real big problem that I am having.  It is KOALAIFORNIA Dreamin time at the San Diego Zoo.  That means Koalas.  I don’t want to eat one.  I just want to pet it.  Yes, I would rather pet a Koala in Australia, but the opportunity has yet to afford itself to me.  The problem is that there is no guarantee that I can pet one.  RUSM?!  (said with venom, viction and a severe desire)    The whole dang exhibit is titled KOALIFORNIA Dreamin.  There better be a Koala that needs its ears ruffled.  I don’t want to sound selfish, but if only one person of my entourage can pet one, than DNA doesn’t count for much as I’m taking this opportunity.  Kela already has this trophy.  Duke is young and Tammy can listen to me tell stories about it for the next 5 or 40 years.  

     I’ve been told that for $80 per person, I can be a part of feeding the pandas.  In my mind, pandas are a whole lot rarer than a koala.  Therefore, a koala should be easier to engage.  I shall pretend that I’m going goat shopping.  I will have a checkbook, credit card and some Benjamins.  Somebody, hopefully, will be willing to exchange dollars for a Koala petting.  It’s in San Diego.  According to Ron Burgundy, everybody is classy there.  I just want to be like Jay-Z and have 99 problems but a koala ain’t one.  

      Now, once the koala is petted, I don’t know what will happen if I see an open flame near a penguin sanctuary.  Now, that could be a problem.

You just got nothing worthwhile to say.  And then I realize, that isn’t true.  I just don’t feel like typing.