It is Sunday evening.  The weekend is all but over.  Here’s to the BOTH of you that read this deal on a regular basis.  Cheers!  Ha!!

     Friday evening brought some visitors from Pennsylvania.  I appreciate the fact that people are willing to get out and scout.  That’s how it needs to be done.  

Yes, the weekend is all but done and I don’t have a wicked, wild story to tell.  However, Rusty & Marla did find their way from Fairview to Paradise.  We boiled ( balled is how Marla says it) crawfish, shrimp, taters, corn & sausage.  Good people gathered to eat, BS and be merry.  The weather was perfect for sitting outside until 1 am on a wonderful Sat/Sun night.  

       Yes, I realize that the Best of the West sale is only 2 weeks away, but we are still making plans.  1–The fairgrounds at Woodward are under construction.  So, we have a new location for 2014.  Therefore the sale will be here at the Kelln Kompound–3 south of Fargo, 1/2 west on CR 47.  2–What’s for lunch?  Looks like Tyke, Big Bill, the Dragon Lady and I will have smoked brisket dinners ready to roll.  Eat at 11, during the sale or after.  It will be good–or all three if you dare.   3–Kickoff will be at 11:30 for the sale. 4–Yes, there is a chance that we have Rusty & Marla back for the Sunday night dinner.  I bet that we are better behaved as compared to last year.  Maybe not. 

     I did get to listen to my baby brother tell stories about a recent concert.  Big D stays in tune with a wide variety of tunes and manages to make it to several live events each year.  He delivered a really positive scouting report on the recent Korn and Avenged Sevenfold concert in OKC.  I’ve been in retirement mode regarding concerts but come October, we are going to the final tour of Motley Crue and Alice Cooper.  Can’t wait!  

      It wasn’t a bad weekend at all.  Really good.  No stories, just a really good time to be in NW OK.  Stay flexible but not limp.  

     Here at the Kelln Kompound on this fine Friday evening, we got to witness not one but two, rainbows.  Side by side.  Seeing two rainbows at the same time makes me happier than a billy goat with two p……!

      I actually have been laughing so hard that I have shed tears.  Yes, I’ve been back on youtube watching Robin Williams’ stuff.  Hats off to the Jimmy Fallon tribute.  I’m not a huge Jimmy Fallon fan but he dang sure knows how to honor his mentors/predecessors.  The Norm MacDonald string of tweets describing his first meeting of Robin Williams is classic.  Find this string of tweets–I think the CHIVE has it on there.  Kela emailed the list to me.  It is WAY GOOD!  But then, I watched Robin Williams with Carol Burnette.  OMG!  How good are you when you can shake the queen of comedy off of her game.  That stuff is classic.  She’s as good as they come at physical comedy and this guy could crack her up.  This dude made Carol Burnette, Redd Foxx, Richard Pryor and Steve Martin laugh.  Simply put, this guy was the best ever at his craft.  There are very few people that can claim a title like that.  He could.  

      I know this might seem like a redundant blog.  It is.  But I would way rather give somebody a chance to be in a good mood and watch some funny stuff that they hadn’t seen before versus the crap that is on current tv or news.  Obama, Gaza, Ukraine, Iraq, whatever the heck is going on..sometimes seems like some bad crap stirred up by the media and the POS governments.  Between CNN, FOX and the rest of the manipulative media, I could give 2 squirts of goose $h!t about any of it.  I never met Robin Williams, but at least he made me laugh, made me think, made me think about what I was laughing at, made me feel what I was laughing about, made me think about what I was feeling and go  “Wow, that is one smart son-of-a-gun.”   The latter part is something that I haven’t thought about our “elected” officials in a LONG time.   

     On another “positive” note, it has been shark week on the Discovery Channel.  That whole deal of South African great whites jumping out of the water to nail a seal is way cool on video and would be way NOT cool in real life.  “Colossus” hitting the dummy seal is killer cool.  On TV–cool.  Real life–I’m out. 

      My wife, amongst others, give me crap about how I can get engaged watching animals.  Well let me tell you people a thing or twelve.  If I had a channel of Koalas just being Koalas…you would watch.  Maybe not as much as I would, but you would watch.  Polar bears being polar bears….you would watch.  Hereford calves in green pastures on video.  Always cool.  We all love watching piglets and puppies.  A show that just played baby goats being baby goats, well hell, the whole world would watch and be happy.  We, as goat producers, missed our chance at a blockbuster movie—Robin Williams narrating a movie of baby goats being baby goats.  Think about it.  If we were smart, we would form a goat check-off to promote goats and, we would now hire Frank Caliendo to do a voice-over of a goat movie.  I know..I’m retarded.  But at least I’m the one writing this stuff and not the one reading it.  

     I never heard Robin Williams imitate a goat.  But I do remember laughing my donkey off when Adam Sandler did a routine about a goat.  Google that.  Send the kids to the other room if you do.  

     Here’s to hoping that you can see 2 simultaneous rainbows in LA, even if it’s just in pictures from OK.  Horseshoes, Shamrocks, Lucky Charms (that’s some good cereal) and Rainbows.  If it gets much better around here, I’ll be riding a unicorn instead of a gator.  

     Dammit Duke!  Run faster.  Catch that leprechaun!   

      Online gradebooks, fairboard meeting, class schedules, , oh $h!t.  1st hour had a kid with the last name of Kelln, a kid with the first name of Kelln and several others that are cousins to these Kellns.  One day down, many more to go.  I am a retard.

Trying to get a couple of buck prospects and a sale doe prospect broke to lead.  I would like for Duke to be breaking this to lead and show, but he has his own stock to get ready.  I do have the advantage.  I have three to break.  Duke has way more than three in his pens.  It won’t be long and we will thin his herd of wethers.  I just don’t know where to start.  

     Sometimes, a Tuesday can feel like a Monday.  You get up early to get BACK in a routine of being somewhere on time.  Feed, water, check stock, wait, what….that doe has the runs.  WHY?  What?  Oh well, a bolus and some spectam should stop that.  

     Then you stumble through a day of meetings that reminds you of 15 years of meetings from a past life, that is now, once again, present.  Some things don’t change.  Just zip codes and years.  OWW!

      I love the TV show CHEERS!    Norm, Sammy, Carla, Coach, Woody and my favorite, Cliff Claven.  Frasier became a good part of that show.  So good that he later got his own show.  Now, I’m not much of a shrink, but I’m probably as good as Frasier.  I do realize that sometimes, people find themselves tangled up in the word of the day–Conundrum.

     Yes, the WORD for today is CONUNDRUM.  Sometimes you just find yourself tangled up in the middle of an upside-down tackle box underneath a pile of coat hangers.  At this point, you have to ask one’s self “How did I get here?”  Then you start to get un-tangled.  

     Or, you could be like old Frazier and want to be in a conundrum.  Do I go to this show deal on Labor Day or do I go to Fargo on Labor Day?  Kelln is here to take care of Konundrums.  

       Fargo is the answer.  It’s not just a place somewhere up north, it is a destination.  Dreams are fulfilled at the Kelln Kompound south of Fargo.  I am here to tell you that there is going to be a dang good set of wethers, a wicked set of doe kids and maybe some bargains after the sale.  Bargains?  Yes, like Perry sale barn kind of bargains.  There is going to be FUN (notice the all caps), smoked meats, NO donated melons (I’m pretty sure that we’ll have to buy the melons this year), possibly some people in need of therapy, and did I mention really good goats.  Somebody has a set held back, another breeder might have a full brother to a res. grand at a state fair, another might have banded something that shouldn’t have been and well, I’ve  been known to get stupid and sell something that I shouldn’t have–for like several years in a row.  Oh, yeah, there will be doe kids that will cause a Konundrum–do I shear them or clip them, oh crap, do I sell her or keep her?  The sale is shaping up to be WICKED!   The rest of it will be willy good.  

      There might be a ’93 Chevy Van tour of Ellis County provided we have a qualified driver–Scott, bring your wallet this time.  Great goats at good prices with stories and banners to be delivered in 2015.  I will promise that we will have a conundrum of fun people gathered in one spot.  This sale has proven itself and this year will be no different, except better.  No conundrums here.  We just need a shrink.  Come on Frazier.  

       I don’t get to giddy about celebrities.  I like to watch great athletes play ball, great musicians shred and I love to watch great actors.  But I really like to laugh, a lot.  And the funniest person that I have ever seen on movies, TV, youtube, emails, no matter the medium, Robin Williams was the funniest person walking the Earth.  I like Ron White, Foxworthy, Larry the Cable Guy, Richard Pryor and Eddie Murphy.  But in my opinion, Robin Williams was the funniest of them all.  And he could do it while being pretty clean. The guy was great at making people laugh and think. 

Movies–Sure, you start this list with Mrs. Doubtfire–no other person could have played that role.  Good Morning Vietnam is an all-time great movie & once again, no other person could have played that role.  Good Will Hunting, Patch Adams, The Fisher King, Dead Poet’s Society, Moscow on the Hudson and a Kelln all-time favorite movie, The World According to Garp.  The guy could play comedy, serious, whatever, it didn’t matter.

Stand Up Comedy–The guy could kill it with the best of them.  I don’t think there was much rehearsal.  He just rolled it.

YouTube/Email–Look up some of the video of this clown entertaining our troops.  You will spend a lot of hours sitting at the computer, laughing while the Dragon Lady is telling you to be quiet and saying, “Just because you don’t sleep, doesn’t mean the rest of us want to be up all night.”  And if you really want to laugh, find the videos of Jonathon Winters and Robin Williams together.  

TV–Alright, you start with the obvious “Mork & Mindy”.  Nano Nano.  Then you bring up the “2 Wild & Crazy Guys” from Saturday Night Live.  But where I loved watching Robin Williams was when he would be a guest on Carson, Leno, Larry King or my favorite, Letterman.  They wouldn’t schedule anybody else as a guest when Robin Williams was scheduled.  Why?  Because he was capable of just “going off” and taking over the show.  Completely unscripted.  Letterman wouldn’t hardly talk.  He would just laugh, shake his head and try to keep up.  Larry King just said on TV, “When you interviewed him, you could only hope to just play along.”

Politics–Sure, lots of comedians like to bash politicians.  He did it.  But he also always had a plan as to what we actually needed to do to fix the problems he was making fun of.  

A couple of years ago, I was asked, “If you could party with any celebrity, who would it be with?”  I said, “I have never smoked weed, so that rules out Willie.  So, I’d like to have a full ice chest and go to a stock show with Robin Williams and Tommy Milligan.”  They said, “What?”  I repllied that I can have a large time all by myself.  Throw in Milligan and $h!t gets sideways in a hurry.  Now add the funniest man alive, watching a stock show and I’m pretty sure that we could make a movie out of that deal.  Plus, I’d be the tallest.”

There was no doubt that this guy was scary smart.  This dude had a gift to make you feel.  Not just to make you laugh, but he made you feel.  Think about the movies, you felt his characters.  His comedy was funny because it made you think and you felt it.  It’s just too bad, he was feeling some unbearable pain.  

    RUSM?  Summer break is over?  I have to go to teacher meetings tomorrow.  WTF happened?  I thought that I had a job that didn’t h ave summer break.  Wait, I thought I had a job that I set my own breaks.  Don’t answer, I already know who the retard is in this class.

     Oh, well.  I had a really good summer.  Maybe, 2nd best to Bryan Kennedy’s summer( maybe longer) break.  Here’s what I learned.  The garden was great, but needs some more upkeep towards the 1st of August.  Somebody, let things go slack once the taters were dug.  

      California is great (parts) and I will go back as long as my daughter is there.  Otherwise, I’ll just watch the news, as well as the tv shows and movies that are made there.

    I either need a diet, exercise program or need to buy bigger pants. 

    All classes of goat sales are up.  Sale barn–up, doe kids–good to great, wethers–good ones–real good, common–okay, mature does–way up, bucks–the right one, HIGH, good ones, high.  

      Had a really good time selling goats at the Small Town Saturday Afternoon sale south of Perry, OK on the 9th.  Great people, great help, excellent crowd for an August Saturday.  Quality was good, prices were great for buyers.  Some sold high, but there were some bargains.  Hopefully, they went to good feeders.  Thanks to Tommy and Julie Milligan for hosting these sales.  I love the location and they have really good help.  

     The Dragon Lady and I cruised on over to Pfeiffer’s in order to watch that production.  This was a well run production in killer facilities.   If you haven’t been, then you need to.  I didn’t eat a pork chop, but they smelled and looked way good.  

     Now, it’s Sunday night and I’ve had a full day of it.  The end of summer 2014 is near.  We are now working towards the Labor Day sale.  Quality will be up and the stupidity level will be down.  Food, goats,& fellowship will be way good.  

      Here’s to horseshoes and shamrocks and those on the west coast.  Cheers!

What do goats not like? WET  We all know that goats don’t like to be wet.  They will jump over the overflow from a stock tank that is 4″ wide like they are trying to hurdle a fire-ringed Grand Canyon in an Evil Knievel rocket bike.  

What is the most over-rated weather condition when considering goat production?  HEAT  This border-line satanic species of animal can handle heat.  They were bred for it.  As long as they know where they can get a drink and find some shade, goats can handle heat like no other show species.  They’ll go out and graze at 3 pm when it is hotter than hades.  Go try to catch a couple of weanling goats when it is a dry 110 degrees.  You better be in 3-a-days football shape in order to catch them.  They don’t get winded.  Put 50 of them in an aluminum gooseneck trailer and head down the road.  As long as there is air moving, they are fine.   I like showing wethers when it is hot.  It’s simple–keep fluids in them and keep them fresh.  

What weather wrecks more goats than any other?  COLD  SImply put, too many people mis-manage goats in cold weather.  Every fall I write about this.  This is a management problem that can be prevented.  Watch the weather and plan ahead.  

What is the most under-rated weather condition that inhibits goat production?  HUMIDITY  When the humidity level is high and the air is calm, goats will lay around llike a bunch of welfare candidates waiting on the mailman to deliver a check.  They shut it down.  Nursing and weanling goats back off on feed.  Lactating does don’t millk very well.  Mature does just act lethargic.  Parasites become a problem.  Bucks don’t want no action (unless it is a KELLN, and they’re still ready, willing and able).  Hooves grow at a high rate.  South Texas is used to this problem.  Obviously, the Georgians and SE know how to deal with it.  Ohio and the rest of the midwest can have high humidity.  NW OK–not very often.  

     Thankfully, this summer, humidity has been a problem for us trying to get sale goats ready.  We needed moisture and we got it.  However, it isn’t good for getting goats ready to sell.  When the humidity is high, sale goats just stand in the pen, not moving around, therefore losing shape.  Not eating, therefore, losing bloom.  Put fans on them will help.  And if you air condition them, you take a chance of getting them sick when you bring them out to the real world.  

       Here’s a tip for you.  If you are at a non-air conditioned sale, the humidity is like Cheech & Chong (HIGH), and you really kind of like a goat, but you aren’t sure, take a gamble.  When it gets used to the humidity, it will look better.  Ask if they are weaned or not.  Ask about worming regimen.  Humidity can knock a goat right in the donkey.

    Reminder–Saturday August 9th–1:30 pm at the Milligan Piece Of Paradise–the Small Town Saturday Afternoon Sale–GOOD-maybe a really good one or three for sale.

12 miles away at 6:30 pm is Pfeiffer’s.  They’ve sold a nice goat or twenty.  Get your donkey up to central OK and look at some good goats at 2 sales just minutes apart.  If nothing else, check in on Ring and Big I and then eat a killer pork chop cooked by Chef Jerry.  

    Have a good evening and a better tomorrow.  Stay flexible but not limp.  But no matter what, say thanks for what is good and righteous.  

In the recliner on a fine Thursday night. The Dragon Lady cooked chicken fries, mashed taters & corn. Way good. I had been outside, brush beating some weeds. One downside to getting rain is the weeds that grow. I’ll take the bad to get the good. I was a bit surprised as to how tall some of this ragweed had gotten. Do not forget to try to prevent kidney stones on your show goats. Clean water, keep salt available free choice, feed a proper feed and give them some grass hay at least once a week. We also add Vindicator to our feed. Vindicator has Full Stream in it to help prevent stones. Goats get stones more often than any other show animal. Why you ask? Simply put, because GOD put this animal on Earth to eat the crap that the other animals wouldn’t eat. And here we are trying to feed them corn, alfalfa and soybeans, you know, good stuff. Every feeding time, be checking for signs of stones. As I sit here in the recliner, I am watching an ALL time classic movie. “I think we are going to need a bigger boat.” Yep— JAWS. I cannot imagine sitting in a dark movie house watching this movie back in the 70s. This is a great movie that has stood the test of time. You know something that you don’t see much anymore? Good bathroom wall poetry. I can remember a poem from a wall in a Watonga quick stop back in about ’87. Here I sit all broken hearted, Tried to……. I don’t think that I will finish the rest. I guess everyone just posts their crap on Facebook or Twitter these days. Or on a blog.

      For some reaon, our interntet has been S…..L…..O…..W….!     Bout had enough of it.  Sheared wethers and clipped some doe kids today for the sale saturday.  Selling a pair of really nice doe kids, 3 good wethers and 1 wether that shouldn’t be leaving this place.  But, I have a partner on his momma, so this Rainman x Wizard kid will be selling on Saturday at 1:30 at Milligan’s Small Town Sale.    

      Made it to Tulsa on Monday evening. I did NOT go to the worthLESS Monday afternoon meeting as–1–it was a waste of my time and 2–the Governer-to-be-in the next few years, Mr. Jack Staats told me to stay away from the new ag teachers.  Therefore, I had permission to NOT go to that set of meetings.  However, I DID attend the DJ’s shrimp boil on Monday evening.  That meal was killer good.  HUGE shrimp with dang good sausage, taters, corn & carrots….and they had beverages on ice.  Lots and lots of….way good dinner.  And I got to talk to lots of new ag teachers at said dinner.  

       Wormed a set of goats this morning.  Used levamisole.  I like using it this time of year as it is more broad spectrum than the rest.  It actually will get hookworms.  Of course, if you ever smell the stuff, I’m pretty sure it will get about anything.  You do need to be careful as you can OD a goat on this stuff.  Prohibit is a common brand name of this stuff.  Ten years ago, Prohibit worked real well.  And, when mixed, it looked like Mountain Dew.  Then, they took it off the market and when it re-surfaced it was a white powder–think Scarface–but now when you mix it with water–clear.  But it still smells like a bucket of donkey.  

      I’ve got way more piles of info to dispense, but this internet is slowing me down.  Wait.  What?  The spurs hired a woman asst.  coach.  SO?  Everybody knows that women actually teach fundamantels and learn the game.  A woman basketball coach…..alright, I bet it was a good hire.  This shouldn’t be news.  But..

      Here’s to hoping that none of you get bit by a copperhead.  And if you do, I hope you have honey to help you heal.  Get well quickly, Chanse.    Horseshoes & Shamrocks to a quick rebound.  

       And to the rest of you people that have no life or an addiction to reading this crap, thank you, good day and you are one day closer to me going all sideways on here.  It (me) has been well contained, but the lid may come off…soon.  Good Day!

     Let’s just get this little blog entry started with a trophy presentation.  I’m going to have Kela go to that store on Hollywood Ave., Rd. Blvd, whatever the heck and get me one of those Oscar trophies.  It needs to say, “Driving SOB”. Why?  Because this James Sweet character is a driving son-of-a—-.   His pickup doesn’t turn worth a dang, but it sure runs down the road at a high rate of speed, no matter who is driving.  Way good!

      Of course, it would probably be a good idea to keep physical proof of insurance in said pickup.  It would make my conversations with the law enforcement go a lot better.  With that being said, that might have been the most pleasant stop that I have encountered.  Two warnings and the TX HiPo was nothing but cordial.  Thanks to modern technology, a texted pick of an insurance document saved me some cash.  

      Saw a couple of killer sets of goats these past few days.  Most weren’t for sale.  First stop had a set of wethers and doe kids that this breeder was keeping for his daughter’s senior year.  Dang Good set of goats.  I mean DANG Good.   I hope they don’t keep them all, but there is a set to be reckoned with.

      We, (I mean James) drove like all Hades to get to Llano to Cooper’s BBQ.  Guess what?  It was way good.  Then we made some calls and found a Texan with some goats for sale.  This was a new stop for me, but I will go back.  Nice set of doe kids at Mickey Vick’s and the money was right on.  He had a set of wethers, but he didn’t want us to look because his two best customers were coming the next day and he didn’t want to screw that up.  I HIGHLY respect that.  Good stop and I will go back.  

       Next morning found us at Helm’s Sale.  PERFECT weather.  Couple of killer good goats, some skinny bargains and some that didn’t sell that have already paid off.  My kind of sale.  I got to bid/buy, then go rock flipping, all while eating good tamales, burritos and dang good catfish and fries.  That cooking crew did way good.  Hats off and raised glass to all.  Then I got to stand around, talk, have a bee…beverage or 12, and listen.  I’m a real good listener and like to listen to others tell stories.  I thoroughly enjoyed just being there listening to others. Sometimes, I can listen so well that it just knocks me off my feet.  And then on the way home, I just sat in the backseat and listened to James and Heith tell stories.    I only occasionally offered an opinion or story.  But, in the end, I just tried to be quiet and friendly.  Luckily, we made a stop on the way home and I found a bargain on some daily household goods.  

     It was a really good trip for this getting old  & getting fatter German/Irish man.  Then I spent Sunday evening with the Dragon Lady cruising around NW OK looking at kids sired by Joe Dirt.  OH MY GOODNESS!  The old man is getting ready to leave a legacy.  There are a couple of doe kids that are wicked and a couple others that have nuts that will NEVER meet a green rubber band.  Welcome to my world.  Travel around several states looking to write a fat check for the next great buck and the old one that we already have that just keeps pumping them out is already here, ready and willing to hit another couple of dozen does.  Dirt ain’t picky.  They just come out good no matter what.  It’s time to ride this deal like a cheap racehorse that is winning.  What do we have to lose?

     Here’s to horseshoes, shamrocks and Joe Dirt.  Some days are just better than others.  And sometimes, an old fart has a big fun weekend.  Put it on the calendar for next year. Let’s do it again.  I’ll just wait and listen for the rest to tell me when it’s time to go again.