Contrary to popular beliefs, I actually like to try to research topics and figure out a solution.  For example, the problem that we call YOUR government.  I have a solution (And it isn’t an original idea).  Get rid of all current elected officials in state and national positions.  Have an election of all new candidates.  FRESH SLATE!  Impose term limits (like 2 years per office–no re-election).    All government officials will be on the same benefit plan as the rest of us–social security, medicare, etc.  It Will be a requirement to have served in the military or taught in a public school for at least 5 years.  It SHOULD be an honor to serve as a state or nationally elected officials.  And if you do the job right, there will be monetary gain AFTER you leave a JOB WELL–DONE!  If you are a POS like the current administration then you better hope to raise the minimum wage while you are in office.  That or go live in one of those other countries.

      Upon further research, I think that I have discovered part of the WELFARE goat idiom.  The question that has bothered me –Why do skinny babies that come from no-milking mothers that live for welfare feed & hay, regardless of genetics and while there is an excess alfalfa hay and a continous supply of high quality feed provided twice daily in a clean/dry trough as well as a full self-feeder, stay skinny for so long?  It is actually simple.  Their crappy mothers never taught them how to properly eat, survive and therefore didn’t properly nuture their offspring as to HOW to provide for themselves.  Even though it is right there for them.  If they had crappy parents, guess what?  The kids didn’t do well.  

      I’m currently dealing with a pair of extemely high bred twins.  The doe is a name brand kind of deal.  She didn’t breed the first year.  But thanks to “persistence”, she bred late this past year.  This was an ex-show doe that I don’t own, but because I am a borderline retard, I thought, this deal could work.  FInally got her to breed–live.  She had twins the first week of July. 

      For the amount of feed that this female-dog had eaten, her kids should have been HUGE! Nope.  Small.  OK.  This mother has had full feed, full hay AND full green grazing.  The twins are now weaned and they still won’t go to the feeder.  I moved them to a different pen.  They wander around looking for I don’t know what.  The only reason that I don’t haul them off, is the fact that I now want to see the completion of this social experiment.  I’ve got some research to do.  But, I am sure that the mother of these things would not reproduce naturally in a wild situation.  But, this is a show/genetic/$ driven operation, so we do some retarded stuff.  Why?

      When confronted with a socialogical question such as “Why?”, the proper answer is “Why Not?”.  Give me time, but I will have the exact answers to why we MUST be more selective to what we keep in our breeding herds.  

      Have a good day and a better tomorrow.

     NOOOO!  It is not Friday yet.  But we are one day closer.  I really miss the days/weeks that I had in May/June/July when I didn’t care what time or day it was.  I only shaved for church or when the Dragon Lady told me to.  Duke and I got stuff done and we ate lunch when and where it best suited us.  Now, I’m retarded.

      Clicked on facebook tonight.  I check facebook most mornings and most evenings.  I don’t post much and I really don’t read much.  I just look to see what was added to me, requests and I recently figured out that there is a place for messages.  I have replied to a few of those.  I actually get 1 to 6 requests a night.  Why?  I don’t know.  I always read the names of the requests and there have been very few that I denied.  I will add requests from people, such as “Brett from Tibet” and “Ishmael from Israel”.  Heck, they might want a goat.

      Tonight….I only had one.  And I laughed.  The pic of the person was a chimpanzee smoking a cigarette.  RUSM?!  They couldn’t have found a more fitting photo of a guy than this chimp with a cigarette.  The chimp EVEN looks like he doesn’t give a rat’s ass what you think.   Many of you goaters will know who it is.  He is the godfather of all things goats with papers.  Nobody can clip, photo or make goats look like he can.  He has the banners and genetics to back it up.  And there is always a cigarette and he really doesn’t give a $h!t what you think about him.  

      This teaching gig has hammered home the point of how old I have gotten to be.  I can tell stories that took place before these kids older siblings were even born.  I knew that I was getting old, but then I realize that Pullan, Nation and Lamle are still teaching.  i just look and feel old.  Those dudes actually are OLD!  

      I just had to look at the facebook pic again.  The chimp has that look like, “Well if it isn’t Friday, it ought to be.” Here’s to Tuesday evenings, daughters in LA, sons with casts on their arm, Moms everywhere and pictures that make me laugh, no matter what day it is.  

      Last night’s blog was a bit wonky.  I apologize.  I was sitting here, my mind was whirring, but nothing could really come out.  One of my mother’s best friends had passed and it had me thinking many thoughts.  Throw in some text messaging from one of my retarded brothers and well, there you go.  You ended up with a blog that made Schoovy kill brain cells trying to figure out if he died, somebody else or if I was just trying to screw with him.  

      As I stated, I’m not good with passings.  She wasn’t family, but you would gladly claim her and her husband as family.  Good people; no, great people.  I don’t like it, but most of all, I don’t like it for my mom.  My parents were both rocks while dealing with their parents’ passings.  But as their friends start to go, I can see chinks in the armor.  Which in turn makes me feel vulnerable.  And I am damn sure not good with that.  

     Now throw in the fact that I have had a right big toe that has hurt like all hades for the past two weeks.  I thought that it was a sticker on the bottom side of my toe.  I’ve been suffering, waiting for the sticker to fester and burst.  But NO!  It just gets worse.  So, tonight, I self-diagnosed that it was a wart, then self-medicated and then I froze the living fire out of it.  OWWWW!!!

        Now here’s some stuff to put in your little black books of important crap.  Mark the date, 9-13-14.  Why?  I screwed up.  I read the seed chart for the no-till drills. Then walked around and set the drills.  I have no one to blame but myself.  I set the drills to put on exactly double what I intended.  I guess 125 lbs/acre might be a tick high.  And therefore, I ran out of the Slick Trit (beardless triticale) that Heith Sander sold me.  Head up donkey.  My fault.  I am a dumb ass.  As an added bonus, that stuff isn’t cheap. Luckily, my father saved the day and I finished up with some of his wheat seed.  

      Sunday saw a pile of wethers and does at the big barn.  Lots of hooves trimmed, all of them weighed, some can get showed, some not quite.  But, we did see a consistent set of really good goats.  More impressive than the goats, was the quality of kids that we saw.  I don’t care if somebody thinks I’m bragging–I am.  We get the opportunity to deal with a tremendous set of kids.  They are the reason that we do this game.  Kids should be the reason that any of us are in this business.  Sure, we all want to make a $.  But it will pay off bigger and better if you can help some kids while doing it.  

      We haven’t offered any in a quite a while, but Seelke’s and I will be offering some Rumour Has It semen in an upcoming benefit sale.  

      And for your random Kelln thoughts of the day:  I miss the Real Men of Genius commercials that Bud Light put out years ago.  Yes, I have a CD with a bunch of them and yes, I have some on the iPod.  Those things were well-written, catchy and down right funny.  Mr. Multi-Colored Sweater Wearer–“They say that Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.  But we say, ‘Whoever beholding that sweater, be holding one ugly sweater.'”    Mr. Giant Pocket Knife Inventor, Mr. Wedding Band Guitar Player, Mr. Silent Killer Gas Passer & Mr. Garden Gnome Make–“What says, ‘Welcome home like a dwarf in the hedges?'” & Mr. Really Big Pet Snake Owner.

Oh and the Mr. Used Car Salesman, “Oil spot, what oil spot?  That’s nothing but sweat from all that horsepower!”  I actually used that line while selling a JD 4020 one time.   

     The first time I bought a CD set of these ads was at the gift store for Anhowsyourbusch (sp?) products in St. Louis.  The Dragon Lady and I, along with Tyke and Mandy Greer were attending some Cardinals’ games.  We didn’t even make it to Joplin before Tammy was threatening to throw a CD out the window.  I don’t know why.  Those things are classic funny.  

      Nope, no.  I’m wrong again.  Tammy and I were alone when I bought that first set.  Tyke and Mandy were with us on a different Cardinals trip.  That was the one with the pony rides and a homeles guy that was an identical twin to Tyke’s dad.  Yeah, the homeless guy looked just like Kenny Rogers also.   Game got rained out and I didn’t want to walk anymore, so we (I mean I, like Tyke would want to spend money? RUSM?) I bought a pony ride back to the hotel.  And, I might have paid the pony driver to make a stop for beverages for Tyke, Mandy and Tammy.  None for me, thank you.    

      Those twins better hurry and get broke to being home alone.  It’s time to go back and watch some baseball in St. Louis.  Better yet.  Just wait till Brandt (AKA Bardt) is ready to go with Uncle Kelln to the ball games.  We might even take Uncle Mustard along for the trip.  

      Make sure all of your goats have access to salt and mineral.  It’s that time of year when they will start hitting the salt blocks and mineral tubs.  

I’m not done, but I’m going to stop.  For some reason, my whole foot is numb.  I think I used too much liquid nitrogen on that wart.  Oh well.  If I lose a foot, I’ll just start using the CB handle, “Stumpy”.   Speaking of which, I think we need to install a CB radio in the ’93 Chevy Van.  

     One last thing.  I did find a new recipe.  Paint + Work + Tonto= FUN  I think we’ll try this and see how it works.  It might need to be shaken a bit, but I think it might work.  UnHh! I’m wrong again.  I don’t THINK it will work. I KNOW it will work.  

        Have a good day and a better tomorrow. 

      I feel like Ricky Bobby trying to do his first interview.  I just don’t know where to put my hands.  Here…maybe here.  Nothing feels quite right.  The keyboard feels a bit wonky.  

      Other than losing grandparents and a few others, for my age, I haven’t had to deal with many passings-on.  I’m not good at dealing with weddings or funerals. But it happens.  And I don’t like it.  When I get word of somebody’s passing, my mind immediately goes to happy thoughts of that person.  

     Luckily for me, I get to deal with some of the best young people that there are.  Duke, Bree, Chesley, Lexi, Chancery, Dalton, Sarah, Madison, Catherine, even Ashton.  If you want to get in a better mood, deal with some 10-18 year olds.  You’re attitude will get better.  We can talk about how things USED to be, but knowing these kids, things will get better.  Everyone of these kids are smarter than their parents.  I know the parents, therefore, I’m right.  

    I’m losing this fight with the keyboard.  I’m done.  Have a good day and a better tomorrow.  

KÖLLN  

     “When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, ‘Look for the helpers.  You will always find people who are helping.'”  –Fred Rogers

This quote also fits stock shows.  Not so much the scary part, but the helpers.  When you see somebody have success, there is a helper somewhere.  Parent, ag teacher, county agent, breeder or maybe just a friend.  Heck, it could be a paid helper these days.  But trust me.  There is a helper.  And that is a great part of stock shows.  Everybody has had to help at some point.  Help with selection, help with feeding, help with care, help with showing, help with show management, help with the day2day, heck, even help paying for the stock.  Doesn’t matter, help is always needed and help is a good thing.  Because you don’t want to be WANTING help and not getting it.  Kind of like oxygen and…  

     Don’t look at the backdrop pictures for the helpers.  They aren’t always there.  Look for the kids that do well as they go to the ring or better yet, as they place 3rd when they were planning on bigger things.  That’s where the helpers are.  Putting things together and picking up the pieces afterwards, that’s where the help is located.  Parents, friends, whomever, etc.  

      “Won’t you be my neighbor?”–Fred Rogers

Yes, that Fred Rogers.  As in the MR. Rogers.  Sure, it was a little bit of a cheesy show.  You damn right that I watched it and I still would.  Lots of good life lessons on that show.  

     Please don’t even try the song that I compared stock shows to 9/11.  CANNOT and WILL NOT.  FOCUS on the HELP part.  We all need help, need to thank the help that we have and in extraordinary cases, be glad that you have neighbors that will give ALL to help.  This is a livestock blog so I will try make ties.  And if you don’t like anything on here, well, go to a different site.  

      And on this day, as in 9/11;  there were helpers.  Things were scary, even scary bad.  But there were helpers.  And many of those helpers lost their lives on that day.  Here’s a kneel down to all that served, all that helped and to all those that serve in the military, as fire fighters and officers of the law.  But do NOT forget the voluntary fire fighters, EMS and first responders.  They are your neighbors and they are the help you needed/need & will need.    

      We all had helpers. We all should stand up and help others.  It isn’t about a $.  It’s about helping.  It’s about being bigger than a $ or a banner.  I will gladly get beat by somebody that did it right, worked hard, learned, accepted help and caught that magical bolt of lightning that some call luck.  I don’t care how big a breeder/showman/judge/whatever the hell, somebody helped you along the way.  Send it on down the line.  I don’t care how big the business is; sometimes, the accountants need to be told to look away.  Every now and then, one needs to stub a check in the memo “Because I Wanted To”.  

      Because sometimes an expense is actually an income.  Pass it on.  Pay it forward.  Chive on.  In less need for charities and more of it when needed (OH!– I have a really cool FFA creed story, but it will have to wait.)  People help people.  That’s it.  It’s that simple.  

      Remember the losses of 9/11.  Remember the horror of 9/11.  Remember the heroes of 9/11.  But most of all, for those that were lost, remember why we are still a UNITED STATES of AMERICA.  It wasn’t our government that kept us united.  It was our people, the American citizens that kept us united.  9/11 should still serve as a reminder that the evil is still there.  We need to be ready to help others when needed.  

“Let’s roll!”  Once again, well said.  RIP

     American Royal entries are due today-the 10th.  I would recommend sending them certified mail and get a return card.  

and we need some motivation to make it through the week.  I’m big on making to-do lists on sticky notes.  And I do enjoy crossing things off those listed items on these lists.  There’s another one done.  However, this week looks like there is stuff that will get moved to next week.  And then you come to this Monday….

     And the wheels fell off the wagon.  I got home early this morning with some stock.  A day early and I was a day behind.  Tammy went to get feed for these critters and Duke had pens ready.  I remember thinking about 5 this morning, “This will work until tonight and Duke and I can take care of it.”  

     School went as expected for a Monday after the county fair.  Of course, several of my ag meckers ate some of the cookies, cupcakes, bread and jelly that some kids had entered and had left over.  But this led to an economics class right after lunch.  A freshman girl was getting ready to throw her pan of 3rd place brownies in the trash.  As she did so, she simply said, “These brownies are still moist.”  I said, “Don’t trash them.”  She asked, “Why?”   I said, there are 13 moronic freshman boys in that classroom.  One of them will pay a dollar for those brownies.”  Guess what?  I was right.  She did say, “Thank you.”  

      As the Monday went on, it became apparent that I was going to have mind some gaps.  As in minding gaps in the chore cycle at the Kelln Kompound.  Why?  Well, our little Heisman trophy candidate got injured in football practice.  “Just” a broken wrist.  The 2014 season is done for Duke.  One game played–2 tackles–one broken wrist–season done.  

      I met his mother at the hospital as they were finishing the cast.  I said, “I guess you’re not showing this fall?”  He got pissed.  “I can show. I’ll be ready.”  
On the bright side of breaking a wrist, my mother texted Duke that she had home-made ice cream ready at the house when he got out of the ER.  I went along to check things out.  I ate a piece of home-made peach pie and a bowl of strawberry ice cream.  Things checked out well and I had no effects.  Other than I needed a nap.  I laid there on my parent’s couch, silently laughing to myself.  Twenty years from now, Duke will remember that he broke his wrist in football practice and got to go eat fresh ice cream at MiMi’s house right after getting out of the ER.  The things you remember from having GRANDparents around.  I guess that’s why they are GRAND.  

      Sometimes, you wonder if you are raising your kids properly.  And then there are times, that you can kick back and say, “Yeah, you’re (we’re) doing it right”.  

And the important part of that (we’re) is the HER, part.  If you are like me, or my dad, or my brothers, you better find the HER. That is is the important part of making a lot of this stuff work.  FIND HER….and well, then the rest gets easy.  You buy a big lawn mower for HER.  You apologize once or twice a year.  And you say, “Thank You” as often as you can without making it seem cheap.  AND, most importantly, you make sure HER kids are taken care of.  And once all of the work is done, you sit back and realize that most of your kids fallacies are a direct result of your genetic lineage.  And, that is the part that you “can show out of them if you know what you are doing.”   

     And for the daily afternoon randomness part, we’ve got a family friend that crashed his ultra-light aircraft at a Kelln cousin’s house a week ago.  He’s going to be fine, but it just further proves that I am RETARDED but not entirely stupid.  I am not afraid of flying, but I have no desire to be in an aircraft that has the frame of a folding lawn chair and powered by a lawn mower engine.  I’m sure that there are times that the Dragon Lady would like for me to take up flying ultra-lights, but I can think of a bunch of different ways that I would rather go.  Use your imagination.  And remember, I will go out with a smile.  

CHIVE ON!   KCCO!  Get Bent and Have a a wonderful day full of shamrocks, lucky charms and horseshoes.  Stay flexible but not limp.  Cheers!!!

       Yes, again, for the first time since the fall of ’88, I attended the whole Ellis County Free Fair.  And, it was your typical fall OK free fair…”And we have another single entry in this class….”   The fall livestock shows aren’t what they used to be.  But then again, the spring OK shows are LOADED.  So it all balances out.

     Hats off to the county agents and home ec agents that make these fairs happen.  I saw some happy kids with their 1st place 4-H ribbons from the craft show.  I assigned it as a grade that EVERY student had to have at least one exhibit in the county fair.  I got to eat some wicked good cupcakes, cinnamon rolls and cookies from students that made “extras”.  RUSM?!  Yes, there were bonus points is somebody wanted to feed the fat ag teacher.  And, at least two boys cooked cupcakes/cinnamon rolls for their entire ag class.  Between the stock show, grass boards, ag mech, canning, cookies, floral arrangements, photography, news boards, tractor driving, livestock judging, etc. we had a pile of stuff in the county fair.  The other towns had some really good grass bundles and such.  It wasn’t a bad looking fair.  

       And, yes, there still needs to be a place for “some old ladies” to enter their jellies and such.  But, there was a lot of kids that also entered.  Duke and Dragon did a lot of canning this past month.  We had this little garden project.  Duke actually had the best of show jelly for the whole county.  And he actually did the canning.  I stood in the corner of the kitchen giving he and his mother crap about it.  Something along the lines of, “You clowns don’t know what the h…… you are doing.”     And, Tammy entered a jar of some killer sand plum jelly.  But her son beat her like a rented mule.  

       Speaking of again….another state fair has come to a conclusion.  The Kansas State Fair just concluded and by all accounts, it was a wicked good show.  The quality was deeper and better than ever.  And like the OK State Fair and Tulsa State Fair of 2013, the reserve grand of the 2014 Kansas State Fair had a Joe Dirt sired momma. Congrats to Justin Goodno on raising the res. grand wether–1208 x Joe Dirt MOMMA.  Congrats to the McBeth family on their accomplishment.  I don’t know what to say about Joe Dirt.  I haven’t used him enough and he just keeps propagating good goats. I think that I will just stay home and not even look for another buck this year….and then again, on second thought, I’ll still be on the lookout and just let Dirt keeping it done.  Again, congrats to Goodno and others for recognizing the genetic value of Joe Dirt.           Yes, again, I screwed up.  I sold a pair of Rumour Has It X Goofy doe kids that I shouldn’t have.  I also sold a Rumour Has It x Double Dirty.  I am not smart.  But they went to good homes.  And, NO, the money wasn’t high.  I’ve had too many doe kids and like I said, they went to good homes.  

       And it rained, again.  I feel guilty with the moisture that we have recieved lately.  It hasn’t been a big run-off kind of rain as the ponds are still way low.  But, we have soil moisture, green grass and well, a helluva good attitude about life.  With all of the recent rains, I feel tall, physically fit, smart and dang good looking.  OK, maybe 2 of the 4.  

      Breakfast for supper.  That’s what we had on this fine evening.  Peppered bacon, blue & gold sausage, pancakes & scrambled eggs.  I’m all in.  AM or PM.  Like a well kicked field goal–It’s Good.  

      The Dragon Lady, Duke and I got into a discussion during dinnner involving items that are REQUIRED to be in my fridge.  

6–Milk–that isn’t out-of-date.  For that at least once a month moment when I HAVE to have a pan of cocoa puffs.  I’d eat them everyday if my lactose-intolerant gut could take it.  

5–Mustard–Even though I prefer Griffin’s (Made In Oklahoma),  I am fine with French’s.  

4–Tobasco–This is in the #4 slot, but I will not ever be very far from a container of Tobasco.  The only reason that it is #4 is that Tobasco CAN’T improve #3, 2 or 1.  

3–Iced Tea–It would be #2, but I can get it from places other than my fridge.  Maybe should be #2, as there are very few days that I don’t have at least one glass of iced tea.  Unsweetened.  

2–Best Maid hamburger sliced pickles–off brand, but I eat them every day that I am home.  I will eat some other pickles, but when I do, I’m thinking about these.  I know, it’s kind of wrong.  

1–Orange Juice–1, Uno, Eins, ONE morning since 1991 that I have not had an orange juice to get me going.  The host had NONE.  The nearest quick stop–NONE.  So, I just got pissed and headed down the interstate.  I have few regrets.  But I wish that I would have stopped and found some OJ. 

      Change the subject, kind of.  Joe Dirt is being put on ice–for a month.  I took him to a piece of paradise near Mutual, OK 10 days ago. Nothing was in heat for a few days.  Then, HOLY COW!!  Somebody saw more LIVE ACTION than the Kentucky turtle man.  I don’t know the actual #s of marked does, but according to my buddy, Brucey, it’s in the thirties.  It was enough that Brandon and Tesha loaded Dirt & his well-used nuts up and brought him home.  I guess we will have some Feb. born kids in 2015.  

      Now, some of you readers may think “They won’t all settle.”  How dare you?  When Dirt gets dirty, he seals the deal.  Best that I have ever been around–bull, boar, ram or buck.  He doesn’t waste effort marking his legs or fighting the fence.  He doesn’t get all monogamous and fall in love.  He likes them all once, as they are ready (Kelln’s are true gentlemen) , and then, with a wink and a a tail wag, he simply nods, “NEXT”.

      I’m not saying that Joe Dirt is the best buck out there.  But this dude has a track record of winning wethers and does.  His daughters are proven.  He’s way good, way proven and dang it, we like him.  He brings a lot of positive traits to the table.  Consistency, soundness, above avg. growth, and reproductive abilities. They put #s to these traits in the cattle and swine world.  If the goat industry had a similar system, well, the fridge requirements to handle him would be large.   He’d be like orange juice.  It HAS to be there.  

      I know, you didn’t see the icebox requirement list tying to some old goat.  It wasn’t even a stretch.  Have a good one.  Have a better tomorrow.  

PS–  I apologize, but I after I wrote this, I cllicked on the oklahomashowgoats.com message board.  Milligan had some post about 3 wishes.  Check it out.  Way worth the read and add to it.  

       Horseshoes & shamrocks!

      Well, it feels like Tuesday night.  But it is actually Wednesday night.  Labor/Memorial Day can throw a well-balanced person off-balance.  Then, you throw my personal stupidity into action, and as far as I am concerned, I’m tall, my dad is always right and I really do live in paradise.  At least, I’m right on 2 out of 3.  

      I think that I will stop because if I was any better they would call me Kenny Tyke O’Milligan Jerry Slim, oh RUSM?  

      Things could be worse.  They aren’t as bad as the news makes stuff out to be.  Don’t live your life worrying about what you see on TV or read on the internet.  Take a step back, inhale deeply and realize that there is actual life going on around you.  FOX, CNN, who gives a monkey’s red ass about what some talking head reading script has to say.  None of them actually report news, they just gather crap off the internet. 

     In today’s society, there isn’t very many trust-worthy news sources.  Most, just copy & paste.  Every large corporation has a PR department.  Bad news is released after 3 pm ET on Friday.  Good news–10 AM on Monday morning–or anytime before Friday noon.  These people do their jobs well.  

      So, who is the best at reporting new “true” info–ESPN.  No, I’m not shitting you.  ESPN news affects Vegas bookies.  Affects fantasy drafts.  Might have a hand in a few maffia deals.  And doesn’t give a donkey’s red ass what your limp richard president is doing (or) NOT doing.  Too many $s are riding on Wes Welker, Josh Gordon or whether or not Romo’s back is good to go.  

      Our culture is NUMB!  Those dipshits in some sand country beheaded some guy.  My first thought, and yours–Dang, I hope that isn’t real.   2nd thought–this crap is made up and didn’t actually happen. For the families sake, I pray to GOD that it wasn’t actual footage and….. well, I don’t have words.

       NO TOLERANCE!  The USA has done more for the rest of the world than every nation combined ever dared to do for the rest of the world.  At some point, we just have to say, “That’s it!”  

      It’s a Wednesday night and the last I checked, this was still America. Our predecessors earned us the right to be a little bit tranquill.  Now, it’s time to Stand Up!!  Vote, know what you are voting for and for goodness sake, do something to help somebody else.   Have a good day and a better tomorrow.  I hope.