Motley Crue

Farewell tour

OKC, Friday night.  I’m just a little bit amped!

     For those of you wanting, hoping for a classic sideways post on here….well, it’s not your night.  I’m not mad or upset.  I’m just tired.  I had somebody tell me today that the blogs happened more often and way more interesting when I had fewer goats and I wasn’t teaching.  My friend…you would be correct.  

       Tuesday was a day that will make any ex-ag teacher cringe and current ones cuss.  It was Blue & Gold and DJ’s meat products delivery day.  There is no easy way to deal with this.  Although both companies provide excellent products that are easy to sell, it is still a huge PITA.  

      Saw a blog post today that reminded me of my current ag teaching position.  “We are looking for somebody with the wisdom a 50 year old, the experience of a 40 year old, the drive of a 30 year old and willing to work for the pay scale of a 20 year old.”  Shattuck got at least 2 of the 4.  I’m just not sure which 2.  Especially, considering what some oilfield workers at 20 years of age are making.  

     One thing about unloading a truck full of meat products, as an ag teacher, you remember what it is like to deal with the Ag Mechers.  My buddy Mikey Robinson, used to refer to those kids that would work hard, sell sausage, pay their dues, build good shop projects, setup tables for the reunion dinner, take pride in their work, setup panels for the stock show, but would NOT show, give a speech, judge or do anything that brought attention to themselves as “ag mechers”.  They are the really good kids that make the world go round.  You know, the kind that always has a job, aren’t on welfare, they get married, have kids and their kids sell lots of sausage and so on, it is a good cycle.  

      The DJ’s truck was there early.  We caught boys as they showed up to school early.  They went to unloading and stacking frozen meat stuff.  The Dragon Lady showed up to help.  I sent her for donuts.  It is amazing how appreciative high school boys are when donuts are on the menu.  

     If you are looking to buy wether goats, well, tonight is not your night.  I am real sure that there are VERY few wethers left in captivity.  Pfeiffer’s are having a sale on Friday night.  That is your best bet at this point.  

     I lost an arm wrestling contest with a 2nd grader.  He was selling Boy Scout popcorn.  We wrestled if I would buy 1 box or 4.  I lost.  It was fun.  If you need some popcorn, I’ve got extras.  I thoroughly enjoy those moments when you just can’t put a price tag on it.  Might seem retarded, but you can’t replicate those kinds of deals.  

     I’m having one of those evenings where things are just pretty good.  It is my night.  Have a good one. 

     I went back to Tulsa on Saturday morning.  Had some students showing heifers, plus I had to pick up grassboards, news boards and floriculture exhibits.  All exhibited very well.  By the way, I like showing grass boards, news boards and other state fair kind of exhibits.  

     I got back in time to watch the 4th div. of the jr. doe show.  I don’t normally care to watch many doe shows, but I’m glad I watched.  I really liked several does in that division.  And I really liked the grand and reserve does.  I agreed with the judge.  Then I handled them.  I liked them.  Very complete.  Handled good.  Structurally correct with a good look.  The cool thing about both does were that both kids could show like a champ.  I guess that they are both purebreds.  Okay.  All I know is that they are both good.  Real good.  

      I don’t know what all we had show there.  I was told that Seelke’s had a Rumour doe that won a class and that I had a Rumour doe kid that was 3rd.  Cool deal.  The best news that I got on Saturday was delivered by Pat Lyons.  I sold a bred doe online last year. (no picture)  Pat and Bill Mein bought her.  She had triplets.  They sold a buck kid. Kept a doe and sent a doe kid to Georgia.  Well, that doe kid was reserve grand market doe at the Georgia National.  I like it.  That was $1,800 well spent by Pat and Bill.  

    I spent Saturday afternoon on the midway at the Tulsa State Fair.  BIG FUN!   The weather was almost perfect, therefore, all of the fair creatures were out on the midway.  Including my and a Schoovy.  I spent a bit of time in a tent watching for visible tattoos and watching ou get beat.  Good day.  

     Then, the impossible happened.  I went to supper with a good friend.  We went to Outback and had a steak.  Both of us were impeccabley well behaved.  I was driving and he almost always behaves at this point in his life.  Great night.  Great conversation.  Then it got weird.  Mr. Staats bought supper.  GREAT night!  I drove past the casino on the way home.  I knew that I had already hit the jackpot.  

      Now, I’m home again and the feeders are full, my donkey is dragging and I’m ready for this weekend.  Have a good day and a better tomorrow.  

     Yes, I came home from the Tulsa State Fair.  Took care of my own stock tonight, check them again in the morning and then head east.  Here’s what I know FOR SURE from the 2014 Tulsa State Fair.  

1—Without a doubt, there is one goat showman in Oklahoma (period, she’s better than whovever you want to name) that is better than the rest.  I’m not bragging on one, I’m just stating facts.  The best goat showman in the business is Bree Taylor.  And she is an 8th grader.  She can make a common goat look great and a great one look, well, like a great one.  I deal with a lot of good to great showman, and RIGHT NOW, Bree Taylor is the best in the business.  Prove me wrong.  You can’t.

2–Okie Coalition–Hhmm!?   This deal is working great.  As breeder’s we MUST support it.  As ag teachers, buy a button for $20.  Fund our own.  

Congrats to the Stottlemyre family on a big win and very successful show. Good goat(s). Congrats to Bree Taylor on an excellent job showing. The Poe crew had a very good show. Chancery Bruce made the sale. Tonto has been the easiest feeding goat that I have ever held. It was fun watching her develop confidence as a showman. Watch out. As for the rest of the show, it was the worst day of my stock show career. You can know things, watch it and further prove me right–nobody wins at dirty pool. There is no good to come of it. Here’s to hoping your days have been better than mine.

     The first scary thing on this Friday night is the fact that I posted a pic on facebook for the 2nd night in a row.  My dad took a pic of his tv screen that had Kela’s name listed in the credits of “The Amazing Race”.  I guess this deal is for real.  She isn’t just hanging it out in Cali.  She actually has a job.  Excuse me while I spark up “Sweet Child O’ MIne” on the iPod.  The ironic part–on this night, that we get to see her name in credits for an LA produced show, she is in Oklahoma.  She flew in today for a wedding in Yukon tomorrow.  Duke and the Dragon Lady are there now.  Me?  Well, I’m the dumb-donkey of the family, so I’m going to clean some crap up at the school and deal with these beasts that I own.  I’m a retard. 

      The 2nd scary part is the # of texts, phone calls and messages wanting me to expound on last nights blog.  Judges just need to judge.  Leave the politics to Washington D.C..  Those dumb bastards obviously know what they are doing.  

      For those of you that like watching some cool video, watch this stuff. http://www.youtube.com/embed/nA3LtXnNIto?feature=player_embedded

The design and engineering of this beast is unreal. To make something like this today would take years.  Unless, the military needed it and it would take months and trillions of dollars. But GOD did it, like, maybe on the 5th day.  An Osprey. That deal is wicked.  Check out the talons, the way it holds its wings depending on the entry, the wing lift, the vision.   I’m always amazed by the functionality of nature.  

      I’m also always amazed by the retardation of humans and judges when dealing with livestock.  I’ve been talking to quite a few hog breeders lately.  They have all been pullling pigs, doing C sections, getting litters of twins and triplets.  In other words, they have let the judges take out the reproductive factor in these hogs.  The judges want them bigger boned, squarer hipped, wider based, wider skulled, bigger footed.  Get ready to see a correction in the marketplace.  We saw it in cattle several years ago.            And now, we are at the forefront of it happening in the goat industry.  If, and I use the term IF loosely, if we are smart, we would moderate RIGHT NOW!  We’ve already made goats heavier boned, heavier muscled and wider based than anybody ever thought possible.  We already have a problem with a limited gene pool.  Right now is the time for judges to moderate in terms of muscle, bone and base width.  In other words, just use good ones.  Not extreme ones.  It is harder to make a cool looking, well balanced, structurally correct animal that has proper muscularity than it is to make some wide based, heavy muscled deal.  

      I’m going to try to do the impossible.  I’m going to try to sleep until 7 AM tomorrow morning.  I haven’t done it in years, but I am wore out and need some sleep.  

Here’s to all of you!  Cheers!  Horseshoes and shamrocks.  May tomorrow be better than today.  

Hold on while I click “Save Post”.  This deal don’t work unless I do that. 

       It is 9:20 p.m. at my piece of paradise.  I wish that I was in Stillwater on this fine evening, but I have a couple of crappy jobs that currently keep me tied to home.  My parents are in the stands tonight and I hope this game looks better in real life than it sounds on the radio.  I may just have to slam my head in a sliding glass door if the pokes keep playing like this.  

     I don’t post much on facebook, but I did put a picture of some FFA jackets on there tonight.  Tammy took a pic of Duke’s first FFA jacket from 2001 that my mom made for him.  Duke wore “official” dress that night–black slacks, shoes, white shirt,FFA tie & FFA jacket and a DIAPER to the 2001 Waynoka FFA Banquet.  He got carried around by a pile of good looking girls that night.  I don’t think that he can top that night with his NEW jacket that came in today.   Back in the late 90s and the first 5 years of the 2000s, I not only had the BEST FFA officers, I had the best looking officers.    

     Regardless, the Dragon Lady was a bit emotional comparing the two jackets with Duke Kelln embroidered on both jackets. Nonetheless, for those of us that respect the blue & gold, it is a Way Cool pic.  Kind of like my favorite RATT song–Way Cool and Way Cool Junior.   Some will get it, some won’t.  

      Speaking of facebook, I read a post titled “Is Facebook a Judge’s Worst Enemy?”  It is a well written post by Rachel Cutrer of Ranch House Designs.  She is by and of stock show people.  I don’t know her personally, but have read her articles in Purple Circle and online for several years.  It is a valid read for all interested in stock shows.  

     This article in particular grabbed my attention.  It is well know that I am not a fan of the socially transmitted disease known as facebook, but I do understand it’s power.  Thus the reason that I limit my posts on facebook.  However, I have had thoughts for years concerning rating judges online.  

      Rewind back to 2007.  Kela owned oklahomashowgoats.com.  I had to police all of the message board crap back then.  I hated it.  I also hated watching judges play “Dirty Pool”.  I told Milligan back then that it wouldn’t take much for me to start listing judges and the games of dirty pool that they were playing.  He advised me to not start that list–publicly.  But, I thought back then and I still do, that if judges had some fear of being called out, they would do a better job of keeping it fair.  

      Now, fast forward back to 2014.  I now have an extensive list of judges that judge straight up and and another list of those that need to clean their pool table. One list is written neatly on high quality paper.  The other is scribbled on toilet paper with brown crayon.  I haven’t posted many names when it comes to the shit judges.  We just stay home when they are judging.  Let people play their games and call it good.  

       I’m not going to bash any judges on here–not tonight.  But I will say names that I like showing to:  Billy Zanolini, Chad Coburn, Marvin Ensor, Marty Gibbs, Bryan Kennedy & Brandon Morgan.  Our goats have done well under these judges, but more importantly, we have been beat by these judges.  And I agreed with them.  I have no problem getting beat by a good animal.  They are consistent in their type, kind and reasons.  From class to class and show to show.  Sure, I speak to some of these judges on occasion.   But personally, my kids haven’t won much under these guys.  Duke had a bronze at OYE under Zanolini, a division winner at Tulsa under Coburn, a res. grand at Phoenix under Ensor, a res. div. at OYE under Gibbs, a pair of res. divs at WW under Kennedy and  he has yet to show to Morgan.  Typical Kelln list–conistent, but not many grands.  And these are the judges that I like. I felt like these cats lined up goats like they saw them.  Not how they were instructed to.  I’ll drive to show under these dudes.  We’ll probably end up with a lavender colored banner at best.  But we’ll be fine.  

      Yes, there are other judges that I like.  I’ll always go show to Phil Stacy, Izzy Cardenas, Justin Stacy and others.  Duke nor Kela won much at all under these guys, but I felt like they did a fair job.  That’s all I want out of a judge.  But then I do have a list of names that I won’t walk a goat across the road to show to them as I know that it is going to be an effed up pile of coat hangers that resemble an upside-down tacke box kind of deal.  We’ll just stay home.  We won’t even nominate a goat for that kind of deal.  Somebody else can play that dirty table.  We’re out!

      I’m not your typical stock show parent.  I fully understand that your “great” one can and WILL get beat.  It’s part of it.  I also like the “getting beat” effect as a teaching tool for a kid.  However, I also know what a good one looks like, what a set of reasons should sound like and will admit that there is a chance of dirty pool going on behind the scenes.  And likewise, if you get me to judge a show, feel free to discuss me on facebook.  I won’t  worry about how I placed things.  I will place them EXACTLY as I see them.  The only thing that ever clouds my judgement is a great showman working a common animal towards the top.  I like a well-shown, well-presented animal.  

      And if these sideways judges keep playing “dirty pool”, I do know how to hit the “save post” button on here.  I also understand the slander and libel rules.  Judge ’em right.  Judge ’em clean.  As it should be.  

      P.S.  Speaking of clean.  I’m not a big Yankees fan.  In fact, I like the Red Sox.  But, I like a great one.  Tip of the cap to the end of a career for Derek Jeter.  Class act. I’m pretty sure that he writes his own scripts.  Unreal.  

      “Oohh?!”, said the casual everyday reader of this blog.  “Should I continue?”

And the writer answered, “Yes.  Come on in.  The water is fine.”  

    Yes, we are going to discuss a little religion.  But in typical form, it will be a different side of religion.  And there won’t be a collection plate.  

     I was very fortunate to be raised in a family setting that was/is heavily based on beliefs in GOD, Jesus Christ and the Holy Spirit.  Roman Catholic is the basis of my beliefs, but I was also exposed to other religious beliefs.  Some were basically the same, while others diverged from the beaten path.  The Dragon Lady is Baptist.  Both kids are a little off, but that has more to do with genetics than religious up-bringing.  They both know the path and understand that none of us are perfect.  

     I’m not exactly the text book Catholic servant of the Lord.  Just ask my Mom.  She prays for me, but she also doesn’t necessarily worry about me.  I’m not easily shaken from my beliefs.  I’m right and you are entitled to your opinion(s), even if you are wrong.  

     Now, let’s get to the serious part of tonight’s blog.  It involves a side, as in a side of pork.  Oh yeah!  I love me some pork products.  I’m like Ickey Woods in the Geico commercials,  “OOH YEAH!  I’m gonna get some cold cuts!”  Do a little Ickey Shuffle and then get ya some.  The Dragon Lady didn’t have anything laid out for supper.  But she knew that Duke and I needed some vittles.  I bet him that we would eat breakfast for supper.  He wouldn’t bet on it.  We were both right.  Yes!! Pork products.  Link sausage, peppered bacon, hickory smoked bacon along with scrambled eggs and french toast.  Jackpot!

      Now, here’s where it gets religious. It’s a pretty short line in my family tree that links me (get it, links) to the Seventh Day Adventist faith.  I don’t have a problem with the people of this faith, other than that they don’t eat pork.  I couldn’t do it.  I need some bacon, sausage, pork burgers, chops & RIBS from time to time, as the need arises.  

      Jewish–I don’t know any Jews.  I have respect for their faith.  They are strong in their beliefs.  They may be right.  I’m not arguing.  I just like to eat some pig.  I’m glad they don’t.  More for me.  

      Muslims–There is a lot about that religion that I don’t agree with. And eating a pig is a few lines from the top of the list.  Radicals?  Sure.  The whole not eating pork seems radical, but that doesn’t even begin to touch the whole “radical” muslim ideals.  Don’t even try to talk to me about not all muslims are radical.  I believe you.  Get rid of the ones that are?  

      Hindu–They don’t eat beef.  WHHAAT????  Now, that is scary radical in my books.  I like a pig on a plate, but there is a reason that BEEF is king.  

Which brings us to the caprine side of meat production.  Yes, goats.  The most eaten meat in the world is goat meat.  Look it up.  Caprine, cheval, cabrito, etc.  No religion has anything against eating a goat.  Roasts, smoked, jerky, stewed, ground, grilled, etc,etc.  No worries about breaking a religious law if you eat some goat.  

     Now, I have on occasion noticed that there is a religious tone to raising goats.  I, for one, have been known to break a commandment or two when dealing goats.  I might have been known to use GOD’s name in vain.  I apologize.  

      Here’s what I do know….there is a GOD.  We all have a chance to make somebody elses life better.  Pork tastes good.  

Have a good one today and a better one tomorrow.  

     To start with, congrats to the Foraker family in Kansas.  They had a pretty good run at the Kansas Jr. Livestock Show.  Blake was the champion goat showman and Kaci was 3rd overall.  Then in the goat show, Kaci showed the res. grand wether.  Blake had a res. div. 2 wether.  Then in the sheep show, Blake had the res. grand wether lamb and once again, was champion lamb showman.  These kids can compete anywhere.  They should motivate more Kansans to keep up.  I hope the money at these Kansas shows gets better.  They need to in order to keep up with the quality of showman.  

     I spent the day hauling grass boards, news boards and horticulture exhibits to the Tulsa State Fair.  I borrowed my brother’s cargo trailer, so that I could keep the exhibits intact for the 4 hour trip.  These grass bundle boards are a butt-load of work, but really cool when done right.  These kids, parents and myself, have a donkey-load of time and effort in these things, so I don’t want them to be abused on the trip over, and for that matter, when they come home.  I was highly motivated to take care of the wreaths, grass boards and wall swags that I hauled.  I can tell you this, that Cimarron Turnpike is a rough SOB.  It will make the fillings vibrate out of our teeth.  But at least you can drive 80+ mph.  But the exhibits were all in good shape.  

     I made it back to Mooreland right after sunset.  And for some reason, the lights didn’t want to work on the trailer.  I checked the plugs, checked the ground–nothing.  Well, fart.  I didn’t want to mess with the local Mooreland fuzz and I knew I couldn’t dodge all of Woodward’s po-pos, so I started back-roading it.  This would cost me an extra 12 or 13 miles, but should save a ticket.  

     Upon taking the backroads, I made it to the Sharon-Shattuck blacktop.  This little piece of ashpalt is on my usual travels but for some reason tonight, it was almost as rough as the Cimarron Turnpike.  It was so rough, that 6 (YES–6) miles from the house, the trailer lights began to work–lit up like the 4th of July.  Oh well.  At least there were no tickets or serious problems.  

      Upon looking at my recent feed bill, I am getting VERY motivated to start thinning the herd of wethers in Duke’s pens.  It is a really good set and I don’t know which to get rid of, but there will be a thinning of the herd in the next two weeks.  If I was smart, (which I’m not) we would just auction pick and then show the “left-overs”.  And we would get along probably just as good.  

      It’s getting close to the 2nd breeding season.  Dirt is anxious.  A couple of young ones act like they know what to do.  They are motivated to go to work.  Have a good one and a better tomorrow.

      I have been accused of being superstitious, somewhat sentimental and even a traditionalist.  I have “routines” as to where and when we eat at certain shows.  I may wear certain clothes/caps on proper days at a given show.  But the most traditional goat show that I attend is the State Fair of Ok.  

      1st tradition is that we always eat lunch at Earl’s on Friday.  Cheddar burger with curly fries.  

      One tradition of this show is that our Krue wins it.  We’ve managed to win 8 of the past 11.  But, NOT this year.  It happens and that is fine.  Our Krue showed some really nice goats, but they weren’t the right ones for this day.  They will be fine later on.  Congrats to those that won.

      The most important tradition of the State Fair of OK–dating back to 1993–is the judging of Miss Skank OK.  My first year teaching, I had a student begging to go to the Midway.  I said, “NO!”  He said, “We’ve got to find Miss Skank OK.”

     I made the mistake of asking what Miss Skank OK was?

1–At least one visible tattoo.

2–Either drinking a beer and/or smoking a cigarette.

3–Too much skin showing.

4–Bonus–missing a tooth or carrying a baby on her hip.

       I’m here to tell you that this year was harder than most.  Why?  On this fine State Fair Friday night, there were very few white trash chicks on the midway.  There were mostly latino and black ladies, and they dress up better for the fair better than most white chicks.  

     After a while of evaluating stock, we finally found an un-expected candidate.  She had a full mouth of teeth.  Was actually pretty attractive.  Hair was in good shape.  But she did have several visible tattoos across her cleavage.  When asked if those were the only tattoos, she replied, “No, there are more.”  And she spread her shirt wider open to expose more tats and more cleavage.  Upon doing so, she commented, “I would have more tats, but the pregnancy kept me from getting more done.”  

     I had to ask, “How did the pregnancy slow your tats down?”  Which she looked at me, scoffed and said, “The poison in the ink.  Duh?  Kind of like alcohol.  You don’t want it to get to your baby.”  

      Okay, I replied, as I quickly realized that we might be dealing with a skank.  I did notice that she wasn’t wearing a wedding ring.  Or a tattooed ring.  

      But then, our winner was spotted.  She had a tattoo on her bare shoulder, was wearing shorts that were too tight for her weight, mid-riff over-exposed, drinking a Modelo AND taking a puff of her boyfriend’s cigarette.  And was rubbing a little much on her boyfriend, especially considering that they were in public.  The acid washed mini-skirt that fit her 5 years & 25 lbs ago did help secure the trophy.  We have a winner.