Rain Terminology

     The worst word associated with rain is actually the lack of rain–DROUGHT.  Hopefully, we are seeing the end of this drought.  The end has to be close since Beaver actually got rain.  

     The other bad term associated with rain is FLOOD.  Tammy and I can tell you a thing or two about floods as we actually lost a house due to flooding back in the nineties.  It happened two years in a row.  It could have been worse as our lives were not in danger, but I will tell you that is wasn’t fun.  Financially speaking it took me a lot of years to heal up from that deal.  Heck, I even lost a microwave in that deal. But that is a whole other story.

     I do like to hear all of the natives use different terms for the amount of rain that they have recieved recently.  THANKS be to GOD for the rain.  For those that still need some, I hope it is on the way.

–“We just got a SKIFF, but a mile away they got a regular TOAD STRANGLER.”

–How much rain did you get?  “Well, we got a regular old TURD FLOATER.”

–“Just got a SPOTTER. A spotter here and there on the windshield.”

–DUST KICKER–just enough to kick the dust up.

–“That rain was better than a naked chick in a MORNING SHOWER.”  I asked this elderly man, “Don’t most chicks get naked when they take a shower?”  He dropped his head, shook it side to side and solemnly said, “I don’t remember.  But I’m pretty sure that I’d  like to.  Anyways, that was a dang good shower we got this morning.”  Sometimes, I think farmers/ ranchers don’t have much to talk about except the amount of rain or the lack thereof.  When your life depends on it, then that is what you talk about.  


–FURROW FLATTENER (how do you spell flattener correctly?)


      Several years back when I was still teaching, I served a couple of sentences serving on the OK ag teachers board.  While attending one of the region 2 summer meetings I met an extremely experienced ag teacher from Texas.  The region 2 consisted of 7 states including OK, TX and New Mexico.  At the first meeting, every ag teacher would get up, state his name, school, town he taught in and something unique about their hometown/school.  They always started at the front of the room.  On this occasion, I was sitting at the back next to this elder statesman from Texas.  

       As they went around the room, a younger teacher from New Mexico stated that “He was from the DRIEST county in the United States.”  This old man next to me growled, cursed and said, “That pup don’t know what dry is.  I can dang sure tell you that.”  He was legitimately pissed that somebody thought they knew what DRY was.  

     We continued around the room until it came to this gentleman.  He was tall–6’5″ or taller, looked Texan, sounded Texan and acted Texan.  He slowly stood up, hung his thumbs in his front pockets, stated  his name, and then dryly said, “I’ve taught 41 years in Iraan, Texas.  Get a map and look it up.  Some young whipper-snapper said a minute ago that he was from the driest county in the United States.  Well, he don’t know what dry is!  They once wrote a good book with good stories in it about a time when it rained 40 days and 40 nights and the rain covered the Earth.  Well, in Iraan, Texas, we only got 2 inches out of that shower.  And it hasn’t rained since.  That is dry.”  I loved it.  Take pride in your hometown for whatever reason.  I’ve since been to the area of Iraan, El Dorado and Ozona, Texas.  I think he is right.  There dang sure wasn’t a ship nearby, loading animals two by two.

      Anyways, rain is good.  People are funny.  And I’m glad to be where I am.  It could always be worse.  It’s Friday night, George Strait is playing on the iTunes and I’m not out of the tan sack that Gambill left here.  Tomorrow, I will see good goats, good people and have a fun time.  Not at 2:22, but before and after.

     Oh, by the way, there was a pot bellied pig on tradio that was missing.  It was not the fat bastard that lives south of Fargo.  I saw him this morning in the front yard–the pig, not the owner.