Picture this

It is a sunny May day with temperatures nearing 90 degrees. It is 2:30 in the afternoon. Mandy, the secretary, is gone to lunch. That means that there is no line of defense for my office. A man walks through the front doors, looks at her empty desk and then turns and looks into my office. I make eye contact with him. Oh crap! Here he comes.

He walks through the door of my office, clutching a newspaper in one hand. He is probably in his mid sixties. 5’5″ and a 140 pounds with gray hair and a scraggly unkept gray beard that probably had some varmints living in it. He was wearing Carhart bib coveralls with no shirt. Did I mention that it was 90 degrees?

“You hiring here?”, he asked. I answered, “No. We filled the position yesterday.” He said, “This paper says you have a job open.” I said, “That must be a paper from last week.” He said it was but he wanted to fill out an application anyway.

I went to Mandy’s desk to get an app to give him. He came and stood near me. He obviously did not believe in bathing, brushing teeth or wiping as he stunk like a gutshot skunk. He told me that everybody in town was hiring, even Wal-Mart. He came to town because everybody was hiring and he was ready for a job.

He said, “You all had a tornado come through here didn’tya?” I said, “On the other side of town.” From this statement, I deduced that he was not from here. I thought he might have been an oilfield hand of some sort. I asked, “Where you from?” He replied, “Mooreland.”

For those of you that don’t know, Mooreland is 10 miles from Woodward. TEN!! At this point, I wasn’t sure what I was dealing with and I couldn’t breathe from the maliforous odor. I bid him good day. I hope he gets a job at Wal Mart.

Several tips when applying for a job. 1–Bathe. 2–Dress appropriately. Carhart bib coveralls with no shirt is not appropriate.

After thinking about it, I’m pretty sure that this guy was an OU fan.

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