Firsts @ Fifty

     These are just a few of the firsts that I have done since I turned fifty.  

Bifocals–I now have my first pair of bifocal glasses.  And I will be honest, they are kicking my ass.  This is going to take some getting used to. 

Airline tickets–Seriously, I had never made my own airline reservations.  Ever.  Last Monday, I realized that I could squeeze a trip in and went to dealing with the internet travel services.  I did not enjoy it but it worked.  I respect the wife, co-workers, friends and secretaries that have done this crap for me in the past.  I would way rather have somebody else deal with it and I just show up.  

Plantar Fasciitis–Something started hurting like a MOFO in my right foot.  Not fun.  It was my left hoof that I screwed up a couple of years ago.  This was a different kind of pain in the bottom of my right hoof and not fun.  Now, I am learning to do different stretches with that foot.  No matter the species, a hurt hoof is a problem.  

Aleve–(see Plantar Fasciitis)  I had never taken an aleve before today.  Although, I knew a kid that got a sheep kicked out of a state fair because they had used Aleve instead of aspirin.  Drug tests for “naproxen”!  Who knew?  The state fair didn’t know nor anybody else.  At least they were decent to deal with over that deal.  

Car rentals–I had never actually done a car rental until I was fifty.  I had been a part of car rentals but had not actually done it.  Now, I have spent $37 to rent a Chevy Malibu or something similar.  PLUS $20 for insurance.  This seemed cheap to me at the time of rental.  Now, I will always spend more to get a bigger vehicle.  

This would now be a good time to click to a different website and NOT continue reading.  

Prostate exam–YEP!!  You read that right.  Not just a blood test but also the “digital” exam.  As in another person’s “digit” is inserted and checks the prostate.  While sitting in the exam room, I noticed a box of kleenex on the table.  And on the corner shelf, the only items were rubber gloves and a tube of lube.  Nothing else was in the room.

      According to the Doc, 1 of 6 males will have prostate cancer.  But the odds change if you have an immediate family member that has had it (uncle, brother, dad, grandad)   Yep, my grandpa Kelln had prostate cancer.  Now, the odds are 1 in 3.  Guess what that means?  This is now an annual event for me. 

      Was it bad?  No.  I actually scheduled an appointment for next Wednesday and the Wednesday after that. 

     NOO!!!   That was a bad joke.  It was not as bad as I anticipated.  Although, it was like an OB vet clinic visit.  They use a lot of lube.  

       And in true livestock evaluation form, I was judging the doctor’s fingers before this “digital” exam transpired.  


Here’s to firsts in your world and I hope that they all went well for you.  And I truly hope none of you deal with Plantar Fasciitis.  Get me a rusty ice pick.  It would be way less painful.  


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