The word warranty probably should have been a four letter word.  I know that tire dealers absolutely despise a “road hazard” warranty.  Car dealers cringe at the word.  Ag equipment isn’t any better.  Livestock…well that’s a whole different deal.  

      Ag & car dealers lose money on warranty work.  It is just a fact of the industry.  But you have to do it.  Tire dealers….whew, well, some people shouldn’t be allowed to buy road hazard warranty as the driver is most likely THE road hazard.  

      The fact of the matter is that ALL new machines must have some kind of warranty.  Some things go wrong and needs fixed and it is nobody’s fault.  Then the warranty is needed.  But it is amazing what people will tear up, flat out destroy and try to get pushed through as warranty.  We live in a throw away society, but we want our stuff warrantied. 

     I sell a lot of 30 and 40 series John Deere tractors.  Those things are 40-30 years old.  Arguably the best tractors ever made.  But they are still 30 plus years old.  And customers want a warranty.  RUSM?!  You can’t even get a shingle company to back up a 30 year warranty on their roofs that they advertised as a 30 year warranty and it has only been 9 effing years.  But because of extreme heat, like we can control 100+ days in this part of the world, the warranty on the shingles is now voided.  Argue with the insurance all you want.  Why in the hell would we ever warranty a 40 year old tractor that has probably had 4-7 owners at this point?  Did I mention 40 years old?  It is cool that there are a pile of these old tractors being used.  However, you can’t find many cars, trucks, other tractor brands, semis, etc in regular use or in popular demand like these tractors.  The exception being wheat trucks in NW Oklahoma.  

     The worst warranty of all is on livestock.  Will you guarantee this doe bred?  Yes.  Right up until she gets in your trailer.  I will guarantee what buck she is bred to, when she was bred and via ultra-sound, if she is pregnant and what she is carrying.  Then the warranty is voided once you get her.  I simply cannot control other people’s managament practices.   I’ve covered this before on here, but it keeps coming up.  

      Before you go all sideways, yes, there has to be some industry standard warranty on livestock.  When you buy a buck–he is a breeder when you get him, unless he is a young one, then at breeding age, he should breed.  Most breeders will make it right.  Probably, even make it a better deal than the original.  When you buy a goat online–yes it should be healthy when you get it.  I’ve got one now that I bought online that the breeder told me after the sale had the shits.  He had the shits when he was picked up.  Guess what?   A month later, we are still fighting it.  How does that warranty work out?  There is no written warranty on it.  The breeder will either take care of me or lose a very good online customer.  It’s simple.  

     My favorite warranty request–and I quote, “Now, if I give you $1,500 for this wether, you will teach my daughter how to show, give us feeding instructions, trim hooves, clip, weigh them in at the big show and you will guarantee that we will make a premium sale right?  I mean my daughter is a senior and we haven’t placed yet, but you will take care of all that right?”  

      Those are the kind of buyers that I just have to send to Pfeiffer’s or Helms’.  Somebody that provides large quantities of good goats without the extra service.  That is why Jerry and Kenneth are smarter than me.  They raise them, sell them and then wait to hear from the winners to run an ad of the champions.  I don’t raise enough #s to afford half-ass feeders to screw them up.  I can’t afford to do a guarantee like that as I will have more than $1,500 in time/labor, not to mention the goat and still can’t control what they can screw up at home when I’m not there.  

     No! No, I won’t guarantee that.  But I once priced a goat to a family for $2,500, OR if they took a 2nd goat, they could have the pair for $1,500.  Why?  Because I had faith in the family and the goat.  How’d that work out?  The “extra” goat was bronze at OYE.  The other one was a res. div. at Woodward District and would have made the sale at OYE, but the other one was higher in the sale order.  The point, I’ll sell good ones cheaper to proven feeders.  Basically, I’m better off giving a good one away to good feeders than selling it for a pile to some half-assed deal.  Kenneth has been kind enough to sell goats at a fair price to our crew and then come get in the pictures.  That is the warranty FOR the breeder.

     Warranty.  Watch the movie “Tommy Boy” for the best-ever description of a warranty.  “I’ve got spare time.”  Classic!!!

     I’m not taking a poke at any other breeder, fitter, helper or anybody.  Just dealing with facts.  I get hit with this crap at work and then come home to it.  Everybody in this game should be able to make it worth their while.  I lose money on my whole goat deal, but it is hard to put a price on this much fun and the satisfaction of a job-well-done.  That’s my problem.  But for all the rest that are looking to low-rent, back-door and finagle their way into this party, go buy your goats at wal-mart.  Oohh??  Wal-mart doesn’t sell show goats?  Well, that’s probably where you need to go then.