Twas the night before

      Here it comes, rolling at me fast.  FIDDY!!   In all honesty, April 8, 2021 is just another dang day.  Yet, I never planned on making it to fiddy.  But, here I am the night before turning 50.  

        I have tried to schedule an appointment for new glasses.  I need them.  Bifocals are a distinct possibility.  I have lost weight but a lot of that was muscle.  I have also tried to schedule a palpation exam.  Yes, the old prostate check.  Luckily, I haven’t been able to schedule that deal….yet.  

       Speaking of palpations.   I had a gas pump encounter with our local vet.  During high school, I was working at the Ellis County Animal Hospital when this vet was hired.  30 plus years later, he has continued building a successful practice.  We talked a bit and I mentioned that he wasn’t dressed for palpating cows.  He was headed to OKC for a bi-annual shoulder and knee injection.  I made a comment that palpating all of those cows weren’t good for a shoulder.  He then told me that he had recently gone over his records to see just how many cows that he had palpated in his career.   I knew the # was high as he is really good with bovine AI & ET.  But, I’ll be honest 1.2 million was a bit higher than I expected.  I’m also REAL sure that his records are spot on.  That is a lot of crap to deal with.  

      I recently got one of my favorite texts of all time.  A lady that I have NEVER met recently purchased several lots of buck semen.  Then, she bought a few more straws this week.  She texted me to see if I could release the newest purchase to add to her previous purchases which were to be shipped this week.  She had a copy of her paid receipt, etc.  I called REI to release these straws, but there was no answer.  So, I replied back that I called, no answer but I would get it released.  And then she replied:  

“Thanks.  I was going to call too but wanted to make sure you could get me laid first”   


      I just happened to have my phone in hand when the text came through.  I read it.  Wait.  What?  Then re-read it.  I laughed out loud so hard that my co-teacher said, “I never hear you laugh like that unless something is really messed up!”

I handed her my phone and said, “Read this.”  She did and then she laughed out loud while asking, “Do you know this person?”   NO.

     And then the PAID with a covered face emoji was sent.   Auto-correct strikes again.   I told the nice lady that I had gotten a hold of REI and it was ready to ship.   Oh and I am still laughing.   She was embarrassed.  

      Here’s my question.   How often does she use the term “laid” that auto-correct changed it from paid to laid?    

This kind of stuff did not happen fifty years ago.  I can’t wait for the next couple of years.  Probably not another fifty. 



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