To do or NOT to do–things I’ve recently learned

Here’s a little bit of worthless reading material that can get one through a long sit down session in a bathroom.

Do NOT trim your nails in the dark.  That is a job that requires plenty of light.

Do NOT remove CIDRs from a goat by yourself.  Even if you can hold one still and reach back there….well then, it is just a cleaner process if you have help.

I highly recommend attending a livestock judging contest like I did this past Friday.  With all the contact tracing  going on, I was down to just 3 kids but I had told the contest organizer that I would bring a couple of classes of goats.  So, we still went.  Excellent contest.  They opened it up with a prayer by Mr. Ryan Pullan.  He forevermore laid down the gospel in a short, yet inspiring style.  Then, they had a young man play “THE Star Spangled Banner” on a violin.  I wasn’t sure if I was in a livestock arena or a church.  Either way, I LOVED IT!


Do NOT turn the channel if  Guns N Roses “Sweet Child O’ Mine”,  Def Leppard “Photograph”  or a Roy Orbison song is starting.  Instead, just crank the volume.


If you should happen into your neighborhood gun shop, and they have an item that you have not seen before and can’t currently order another one like it, then by all means, DO buy it.  Even if you were not in the buying mood.  It will only appreciate in value.


If you have the time, and/or sometimes you just need to make time, to sit in the middle of a road and listen to your neighbor espouse wisdom.  Johnny told me of a recent story with his hired hands.  And I will paraphrase this story.

Johnny–“I’m hauling that heifer to the sale barn.  She has a bad attitude.”

Hands–“But, that is one of your best keeper heifers.”

Johnny–“Yep, but I don’t need no bad attitudes around here.  Hell, when you’ve had two divorces, you learn to cut your losses and just deal with ones that you can stand to be around.”   True, regardless of sex, species, whatever.


And DO always pay attention to your surroundings.  On Saturday evening, as I drove into Shattuck, I noticed a group of people standing around a leafless Elm tree, looking up.  So, as I rolled down the highway next to the “pet”store, I slowed down to see what they were looking at…..holy hell, it was a 2 foot long blue & yellow parrot.  Yeah, a parrot in Shattuck, Oklahoma.  I circled the block to survey the situation and then went on to check projects and feed Herfy the Hereford hog.  I then came back by the pet shop, pulled over and watched a bunch of rednecks tape several broomsticks together and then add a pool skimming net to the end.  Then one of them climbed a ladder.  She could reach the parrot, but there wasn’t enough net to catch the fowl.  After a couple of failed swipes, the colored macaw flew out of the tree, across the highway and lighted in a tree near the EMS building.  I took a picture for proof.

As I had no means of helping to catch a prize bird, no beer and I’m sure that they didn’t want the bird shot, I headed home to deal with goats and watch a Bedlam game.  I shoulda just sat and watched the parrot patrol.


And after today, I highly recommend that every dude go to a high end clothing store and get properly fitted and tailored for a suit.  Andre has done this job in OKC for 37 years.  He was good, knowledgeable, fun and wasn’t pushy. I spent more than I should have but the Dragon Lady said it looked good.  I had never bought any “tailored” clothes before and I may not again.  But, it was fun.  Expensive yet fun.

Just like buying expensive goats, I also found a couple of pimped out shirts, that most males of my race would not wear, but they were on sale.  It helped the average.  As an added bonus, these shirts won’t get mixed up with anybody else’s at the cleaners in Shattuck, OK.

I’m done.

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