\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0Read the Big Pitchman deal first.\u00a0 It has nothing to do with this post.\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n
This is the 4th of July post….even though it is not yet the 4th of July.\u00a0 We have a wedding to attend and then A\u00a0 Litzenberger Lake event.\u00a0 I’m going to be busy this weekend.\u00a0 Something and\/or somebody will get lit.<\/p>\n
\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 I’m going to preface this story with NO ANIMALS WERE HARMED!!!!<\/p>\n
\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 I’ll be honest, this isn’t even a true story.\u00a0<\/p>\n
\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0I’m not sure if the year was 2016 or 2017.\u00a0 Either way, it was several years back.\u00a0 It was on the 4th of July.\u00a0 A goat crew came to Fargo unexpectedly.\u00a0 Not to look at goats, but just to get away and have fun.\u00a0 And fun we had.\u00a0 The kids headed out on the gator to go pop fireworks.\u00a0 The adults, well, we cracked a few open.\u00a0 As the day grew later, we needed pizza.\u00a0 The Dragon Lady headed to Shattuck to get a pile of pizzas.\u00a0 The kids pulled in to the drive with the gator.\u00a0 I took it and started doing chores.\u00a0 I left Duke and several other kids under the watchful eyes of an adult or two.\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n
\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 I fed goats, calves, filled water tanks and pulled back into the driveway.\u00a0 WTF are you all doing?\u00a0 \u00a0RUFSM?\u00a0 \u00a0They had taped 4 Roman candles to one of the Dragon Lady’s Rhode Island Red hens.\u00a0 NOOOOO!!!!!\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0HAAA!!!\u00a0 And they lit the fuses and let the chicken loose.\u00a0 Oh my!!!\u00a0 As the chicken took off running, the first candle fired, then the next, then the next.\u00a0 The candles repeatedly fired like a Gatlin gun out of time.\u00a0 Yet, every time a candle fired, that chicken caught another gear.\u00a0 I have never seen a chicken run that fast.\u00a0 It headed East then rounded the corner by the garage.\u00a0 Then took another right and headed West towards……OHHHHHH\u00a0 \u00a0 NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!\u00a0 \u00a0 The propane tank!\u00a0 \u00a0 As that piece of poultry hauled ass, thighs and legs towards that tank, I held my breath….as……that…….last ball……of fire……shot out of that last candle just before it got to the tank.\u00a0 I yelled, “Catch that bird and get rid of the evidence!\u00a0 The Dragon Lady will be pissed if she finds out.”\u00a0<\/p>\n
\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 Ten minutes later, she showed up with a bunch of pizzas.\u00a0 She suspected nothing.\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n
\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 The next day, Tammy gathered eggs.\u00a0 She came walking towards me with her egg basket.\u00a0 “Look at this.\u00a0 I have never seen an egg shaped like this.\u00a0 This is weird.”\u00a0 \u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n
\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 “Wow.\u00a0 That is odd.” I replied.\u00a0<\/p>\n
And I have never before nor since seen an egg shaped like that.\u00a0 I ducked my head and walked away thinking……<\/p>\n
Dudes, I was thinking, “I bet I know which hen laid THAT egg.”\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0<\/p>\n
\u00a0<\/p>\n
\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0This might be the greatest made up story of all time.\u00a0 It did not happen.\u00a0 This is just a tribute to a story.\u00a0 If only somebody could video such an event.\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n
Happy Independence Day!!!\u00a0 \u00a0Remember why we celebrate this day.\u00a0 It ain’t for shooting bottle rockets or Roman candles.\u00a0 We are free because others sacrificed for us so that we could be free to raise goats, eat beef, shear sheep, smoke pig and watch chickens.\u00a0 You don’t have to like our government, (I don’t) but we are the U S of A!\u00a0 \u00a0<\/p>\n
And remember, you don’t have to, nor need to post your stupid 4th of July antics on social media.\u00a0 Well, unless they are really good.\u00a0 Be safe and stay free.\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0Read the Big Pitchman deal first.\u00a0 It has nothing to do with this post.\u00a0\u00a0 This is the 4th of July post….even though it is not yet the 4th of July.\u00a0 We have a wedding to attend and then A\u00a0 Litzenberger Lake event.\u00a0 I’m going to be busy […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/kellnlivestock.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4434"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/kellnlivestock.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/kellnlivestock.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/kellnlivestock.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/kellnlivestock.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4434"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"http:\/\/kellnlivestock.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4434\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4436,"href":"http:\/\/kellnlivestock.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4434\/revisions\/4436"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/kellnlivestock.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4434"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/kellnlivestock.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4434"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/kellnlivestock.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4434"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}