\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0I get it.\u00a0 I apologize for thinking that I could simply quit.\u00a0 I can.\u00a0 Some of you need this in order to have a proper morning bathroom session.\u00a0 Some of you need this because you truly feel more intelligent than the author.\u00a0 Some just like watching car wrecks.\u00a0 Some are sending me pics of their kid with a Boba Fett helmet carved into their hair.\u00a0 Wicked Cool!\u00a0 And another wants me to do a grand finale…something kind of like Cheers but way better than the Friends finale (we can all agree…that one sucked!)<\/p>\n
\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0Goat nuts.\u00a0 There you go.\u00a0 There’s a topic.\u00a0 How come we don’t eat “goat” fries?\u00a0 Calf fries are fun.\u00a0 I have some fond memories of the Calf Fry in Stillwater, OK circa 1990ish.\u00a0 \u00a0Lamb fries are exquisite when ordered from the Cattleman’s in OKC or Pete’s Place in Krebs, OK.\u00a0 But, goat fries?<\/p>\n
\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 Goat nuts could be a delicacy.\u00a0 Maycon could knife cut a wether AFTER it sells at Friday Night Fever and BEFORE it is grand at San Antonio, Houston, pick a major.\u00a0 Think what those balls were worth intact and now you could eat a future grand for a grand.\u00a0 Pfeiffer’s don’t sell many bucks.\u00a0 \u00a0They could leave the seeds in just a bit longer and THEN cut them (not band them).\u00a0 And at a later date, these cats could sell these high $ cods (hell, they have to be tasty fries).\u00a0 I would do something like this, but I lost my banders AND I don’t have many does left in order to raise something with nuts.\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n
\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 Rewind to 1990.\u00a0 I took an introduction to meat science class at OK State.\u00a0 Without a doubt, one of the most educational classes that I ever took.\u00a0 Dr. Dolezal and his grading methods (1\/4 point for spelling, etc.)\u00a0 I was then talked into judging meats for the great cow college.\u00a0 Judge meats?\u00a0 I’ve done that every time I ate a steak.\u00a0 Not quite the same.\u00a0 I agreed and I did.\u00a0 I could place, handle specs, quality grade and write reasons.\u00a0 Even though, every set of reasons that I wrote started with a 48.\u00a0 Minus 2 for penmanship.\u00a0 I should have filed a complaint as I am incapable of even decent penmanship.\u00a0 Little did I know that they were profiling mouthy German\/Irish\/Catholic meat judgers with crappy penmanship.\u00a0 Bastards!\u00a0 Didn’t matter as I could never yield grade beef carcasses to a tenth of a point.\u00a0 Yield grade 1…sure.\u00a0 Yield grade 4, you bet.\u00a0 Yield grade 2.2…..I was always a couple of points out…..on EVERY carcass.\u00a0 And those points dropped added up to me having a problem.\u00a0 Still a great experience.\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n
\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0Anyhow……I started working at the OSU Meats Lab.\u00a0 Without a doubt one of the best experiences of my life.\u00a0 Such a crappy job that I truly enjoyed.\u00a0 The summer of 1991 brought a meats science collaboration with OK State and the Kiki De La Garza goat institute at Langston University.\u00a0 There were scientists from Kenya, Brazil, some Asian & Latin countries and of course, Oklahoma.\u00a0 We butchered a bunch of goats.\u00a0 Some of which were whole body ground.\u00a0 Yep, a big ass hamburger grinder.\u00a0 We cut the bones into small pieces, stripped the hide, and chunked the muscles.\u00a0 Blood, guts, muscles, bones, hide,\u00a0 EVERYTHING!!\u00a0 \u00a0Ground it up.\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n
\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0It was July….so hot and so very humid.\u00a0 I was in the back room with the whole body grinder going.\u00a0 \u00a0Man, that thing could chew up bone, muscle, hide, EVERYTHING!\u00a0 \u00a0The auger took two of us to pull it out for cleaning.\u00a0 It was awesome.\u00a0 ROWR, ROWR, ROWR!! That thing was forevermore chewing those goat parts up and spitting them out.\u00a0 ROWR, ROWR, ROWR!!\u00a0 It was almost monotonous.\u00a0 The ROWR, ROWR, ROWR kept going.\u00a0 I watched the ground up stuff dump into the meat tubs.\u00a0 Until, THOOMPFF!!\u00a0 \u00a0Something shot out of the grinder plate and stuck to the brick wall on the north side of the old meat lab.\u00a0 WTH?\u00a0 \u00a0I walked over.\u00a0 Looked at the part hanging from the brick wall and then laughed.\u00a0 A goat nut!!\u00a0 RUFKM?\u00a0 \u00a0How?\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n
\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 I peeled the nut from the wall and threw it back into the grinder.\u00a0 ROWR, ROWR, ROWR, THOOMPFF!! RUSM?!?!\u00a0 It shot the goat nut out again.\u00a0 It didn’t phase that nut.\u00a0 Somehow, it would compress, distort and then….THOOMPF!\u00a0 So, I went and got a buddy.\u00a0 “Hey dude.\u00a0 Come here.\u00a0 I think there is a\u00a0 bearing going out in this grinder.\u00a0 Stand here, right here and listen.”<\/p>\n
\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 ROWR, ROWR, ROWR, THOOMPFF!!\u00a0 \u00a0HAAAA!! Right in the chest.\u00a0 Right in the chest!!\u00a0 \u00a0 Otie looked at me like WTF?\u00a0 I shot him in the chest with a goat nut.\u00a0 Otie is now Dr. Otis Rickman at the Mayo Clinic.\u00a0 But I shot him with a goat nut.\u00a0 Once he realized that he had been shot with a goat nut…..people, he was all in on this fun!<\/p>\n
\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0And the fun continued.\u00a0 We shot the meat lab manager, the research coordinator, a couple of Drs. from the ANSI offices, etc.\u00a0 \u00a0 After 17 times through the grinder, we took a knife and split the tunic on that goat nut.\u00a0 At that point, it ground up.\u00a0 Just like everything else.\u00a0 Damn!\u00a0 Cheap entertainment.\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n
\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0So……really.\u00a0 Why don’t we eat goat fries?\u00a0 \u00a0Technically, they should be the Greatest Of All Time fries…shouldn’t they?\u00a0 G.O.A.T fries. Maybe, I need to open a restaurant.\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n
\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0Here’s you a retarded goat related story.\u00a0 You are welcome.\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0I get it.\u00a0 I apologize for thinking that I could simply quit.\u00a0 I can.\u00a0 Some of you need this in order to have a proper morning bathroom session.\u00a0 Some of you need this because you truly feel more intelligent than the author.\u00a0 Some just like watching car […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/kellnlivestock.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4337"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/kellnlivestock.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/kellnlivestock.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/kellnlivestock.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/kellnlivestock.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4337"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"http:\/\/kellnlivestock.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4337\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4428,"href":"http:\/\/kellnlivestock.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4337\/revisions\/4428"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/kellnlivestock.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4337"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/kellnlivestock.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4337"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/kellnlivestock.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4337"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}