Some people can put words together and make things sound like they are “prettier than a twenty dollar whore”. \u00a0Others can attach words in such a way that reminds one of a beginning welder trying to scab together some plate metal with 6011 rod. \u00a0It just ain’t right.<\/p>\n
I have recently watched as yet another senior class struggles with the literary works of the iconic Shakespeare. \u00a0How in the hell did this dude’s works become required reading? \u00a0You didn’t like it. \u00a0Me either.<\/p>\n
They have tried to make movies of this crap and yet, it doesn’t translate. \u00a0Are there wicked quotes? \u00a0You bet. \u00a0“Something wicked this way comes.” \u00a0But the stories as a whole are hard to digest.<\/p>\n
Growing up, I was a voracious reader. \u00a0I read a lot. \u00a0Jack London novels, Mark Twain, Charles Dickens, the Bible, J.R.R. Tolkien, James Michener (yeah, tie into that Centennial book–better clear a calendar) \u00a0and the entire World Book Encyclopedia set. \u00a0Yep, I read every one of those. \u00a0Any time that I had to hit the throne, I grabbed a World Book and headed to take care of business. \u00a0The drone of the vent fan, the privacy, gaining some knowledge–it was a fortress of solitude.<\/p>\n
As I got into high school, I started reading periodicals–Sports Illustrated, Purple Circle, National Geographic and Showbox magazine. \u00a0My OCD tendencies requires me to read every line once I start. \u00a0I’ve never had a subscription to Playboy magazine, but on the occasions that I had access to one, I read every line, every story, every caption. \u00a0And I looked at every picture. \u00a0Some, twice.<\/p>\n
Now, I read the High Plains Journal, the PennyNews and numerous online literary sources that cover a wide range of topics.<\/p>\n
As much as I like to look at the written English word, I can NOT stand much of anything that Shakespeare wrote. \u00a0Romeo & Juliet is the MOST over-rated love story of all time. \u00a0Am I bashing the Bard of Avon? NO! \u00a0On the contrary, I will say that he was obviously brilliant at perfecting ways to deliver his lines, perform plays and enthrall an audience. \u00a0I am fine with introducing Shakespeare’s works to students but HOW and WHY did it ever become required to study Macbeth and Hamlet and A Midsummer Night’s Dream and Romeo & Juliet? \u00a0This is my blog and therefore my opinion, he is a MUST for drama and playwrights. \u00a0But English class– a week or two–sure. \u00a0A semester or more–nope.<\/p>\n
Now, I would like to bring you to the other side of my brain. \u00a0I was bored on this evening, so I turned on the boob tube. \u00a0I didn’t want to watch nfl or the other crap that was being offered. \u00a0I flipped channels until I came upon the classic The Waterboy.<\/p>\n
As I was listening to Farmer Fran utter sheer brilliance as he was witnessing Bobby Boucher unleash a can of whoop ass— and I quote, “Ish dee yo do!!” \u00a0I thought to myself “Dude, I would way rather listen to Farmer Fran than suffer through Shakespeare.”<\/p>\n
“We liv to pway anuddah day.”<\/p>\n
“Membaw when Bawby Booshay ewwed up and tackedel the ajdfosadiuvjcoijclxvjocavfijodafjg?”<\/p>\n
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How does this tie to the goat world? \u00a0Here ya go! \u00a0Blake Clark was the actor that played Farmer Fran in The Waterboy. \u00a0He also played a role in the iconic cinematic classic JOE DIRT. \u00a0He played an Old Cajun Man. \u00a0He had a line talking to Joe Dirt about where he was from.<\/p>\n
“Ome is whawre u mak it.”<\/p>\n
Joe Dirt replied, “You like to see homos naked?”<\/p>\n
“No. \u00a0No. \u00a0No. \u00a0Ome is whawre u mak it.”<\/p>\n
Joe Dirt, “Alright, you like to see homos naked.”<\/p>\n
“Ome is whawre u mak it!! \u00a0Ome where u mak it. \u00a0Got damn boy, evabuddy no dat!”<\/p>\n
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Here’s where I wrap up all this drivel. \u00a01–I like to read. \u00a02–I respect expert wordsmiths. \u00a03–I didn’t enjoy Shakespeare. \u00a04–I like some well written nonsense comedy. \u00a05–I don’t want to see homos naked and I don’t want to read or watch any Shakespeare stuff. (might be on one in the same) \u00a06–I like The Waterboy, Joe Dirt–the movie and Joe Dirt–the goat.<\/p>\n
Have a good one and remember that HOME is where you make it! \u00a0I hope all of you clowns have access to home-made popcorn balls for halloween.<\/p>\n
Ish-dee-yo-do!<\/p>\n
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