There are some things in life for which one canNOT be properly prepared.

For instance.  Today was Homecoming Games Day at Shattuck Public Schools.  Not the football game, but gameS.  Tug of war, egg toss, etc.  Every teacher, every kid, preK through Senior is at these games.  The grade school kids are paired up with an upper-class for which they cheer.  For example,  the seniors wear red t-shirts to play in the games & the 6th graders wears red t-shirts and cheer for the seniors.  The juniors wear blue & the 5th grade wears blue and cheers for the juniors.  So on and so forth.  It is a great event that probably only works in a small town.  But work it does.

When the games end about noon, the entire school eats pizza.  It has always been Pizza Hut pizza from the Shattuck Pizza Hut.  But, the Shattuck Pizza Hut closed back in March due to the hits from covid and has yet to re-open.  SOOO…in order to get enough pizzas, somebody was going to have to go out of town.

I volunteered.  One, I wouldn’t have to referee games or baby-sit the ineligible kids.  Two, I could drive to Woodward and pick up a butt-load of pizzas.  (remind me again—which is more?  A butt-load or a crap-load.  A crap-load sounds bigger but technically a butt-load should hold a crap-load.)  I digress.  Needless to say, but I was the only person that volunteered to go to Woodward and pick up a pile of pizzas.  So I got the job.

I was there on time, they weren’t quite done cooking all of the pizzas but we went to loading.  I had that suburban full.  I asked them if they had cooked more pizzas for a single order.  Once, they allowed.  Ironically– for a prison.

All of the napkins, plates, pepper, parmesan and pizzas were loaded.  I climbed into the driver’s side of this suburban sled on wheels and began my journey west towards Shattuck.

Prepared for this journey, I was not.  Until one has undertaken this mission—-you have no idea.  I have never wondered how hot the insides of those pizza warmer sleeve deals are that delivery drivers use.  I didn’t have any of those sleeves.  I simply had a 101, yes, a HUNDRED AND ONE large pizzas, individually boxed and piled into a suburban, with me driving this sled westward to feed a pile of school kids.

People, you cannot believe how hot a suburban is that contains a 101 freshly cooked pizza pies.  I couldn’t use the rear view mirror because of the heat radiating from the back.  And the AC was higher than Nikki Sixx on a late 80’s smack fix!  Basically, that white chevy suburban had become a rolling pizza sleeve that contained 101 large pizzas AND one sweating driver.  I wasn’t prepared for that.

On a further note, there is something about Pizza Hut pizza grease that is kind of addictive.  But it can also cause other issues.  I doubt there was enough toilet paper or plungers in Shattuck Public Schools on this fine afternoon.  And after sweating while driving an ass-load of pizzas, I may have smelled worse than a classroom full of 8th grade boys.  Horrible!  Sweat and pizza grease!   I wasn’t prepared for that.

Have a good one today and a great tomorrow.  I hope I see you at the Royal this week.  I wish you all horseshoes & shamrocks.

And no, I really wasn’t hungry for pizza after that trip.