that you can’t argue with.  Why?  Because I am right.

     So I go to Carl’s Jr. to get a $6 burger combo deal which cost $8.28 before tax.  Something seems amiss with a $6 burger for $8.28 but that wasn’t what caught my attention.  The high school dropout & future rehab attendee says “I’ll hook you up with a discount that will save you 89 cents.”  I said, “Sure.  That would be great.”

     I take my number and sit down.  They bring me my $6 burger which cost more than $6.  They leave the receipt on the table.  I glance at it and notice the discount.  RUSM!!!  It says  “Senior Disc 10%”.  When in the hell did I cross the line to earn a senior discount.  It was just a few years ago that I was still getting IDed when buying a cold beer.  Do I look that old?  Did I look like I needed a discount to save 89 cents?  I don’t know whether to appreciate the gesture or be pissed.  

      I haven’t cared about a birthday since I turned 21 and got rid of a fake ID.  I know that I am getting old and gray, but dang.  The age part doesn’t bother me.  What actually bothers me is that dumb fatherless-child took 89 cents out of that companies till for the day.  How many more times did he do that?  89 cents times 20 adds up.  I didn’t need the favor.  I would rather be charged extra if they properly took the extra and used it where it is actually needed.  I understand how hard it is to find good help.  Idon’t blame the company, but the employee.  The burger was good and might have been worth $8.28.  I’ll go back.  But pass the discount on to where it is needed.

   Had a guy call me and ask me about coming to the house to look at doe kids.  He asked, “Can I find your place?”  I asked where he got my phone #.  He said, “On your website.”  I told him that the driving directions were on there.  I stopped, thought about it for a minute and then continued,  “I’ve seen you at Kelly’s and Gallagher’s.  If you can find those places, then you can dang sure make it to my piece of paradise. ”  This got me to thinking about posting GPS directions to our place.  Then I thought, “Jeeminy XmAss!! You wouldn’t be able to use a GPS locater at those places because you can’t get phone signal.”  I have signal here.  You can find it without the GPS coordinates.  I bought baby pigs, calves, even a sheep or two without good directions before.  

     I talked to my old buddy Fred Slater today.  He and and a jovial crew were at Lake Texhoma catching Stripers.  They were having fun.  I was jealous.  Why?  It was above 30 degrees on the lake.  It wasn’t last Friday when Gambill’s, Duke and I were there.  You know what?  I’m ready to go back.  We might even need to take Mikey.  But we would need floaties.  

     I judged the NW district Extemp speaking division last night.  There are some things that make me miss teaching.  Speech contests are near the top of the list.  I love hearing good ones, but I also love hearing the ones that make me go “Dang!! I wish could work with this kid for a little while.  They could be good.”  It was evident what kids had ag teachers working with them and which ones were on their own.  There were some very recognizable goat names at this contest (No, I didn’t judge any of them.)  Schovanec (2 of them), Comstock, Darr, etc.  It is my opinion ( which means that it is a FACT), public speaking is a MUST for all kids and quite possibly the best thing that the FFA has to offer.  Awesome.  I would rather listen to a top notch speaker than watch a grand drive at a major.  The rewards are greater from the speech contest.  And there is still a chance that the winning speaker came up with the topic, wrote it (with help from an ag teacher, parent, English teacher, etc., doesn’t matter) and won without politics.  A grand steer(barrow,wether, whatever), that sells for $60, 70, 200, 500K, whatever the hell, it doesn’t matter the price, it CANNOT compare to the skills learned by getting in front of people and presenting a speech.  It is as mastercard used to say, PRICELESS.  But too many ag teachers, parents, etc. spend their time, money and efforts chasing a livestock show banner.  Back up, rethink and redo.  

     I have been told that, lately, my attitude isn’t worth two squirts of duck $h!t and they are sick of hearing me gripe about the weather.  Okay?!?  But the weather affects my goats, grass, crops, hay prices, feed prices, etc and I just so happen to also deal in Ag equipment for a living.  The oilfield only goes so far in keeping the economy going.  I am not bashing or degrading anything relative to energy production.   However, agriculture is the basis of EVERY economy.  People have to eat.  

       We may or may not have dodged the last couple of late season freezes, but I am pretty sure that the freeze of April 23 put the final nail in this year’s grain crop.  Hay?  Please and thank you.  Drought, wind, heat, blizzards, drought (again & again), and now multiple late season freezes in April, makes me think “Hhmm, I bet there is a fishing trip in the future of the Kelln Kartel.”  Actually, I have to prepare for a party on May 11.  No fishing.  Just eating, good times, maybe a story or two.  Kela will graduate the Ok State U on May 4 and the party is on May 11.  Where?  Find it.  If you need a sign, it will be in the front yard.  Trust me.  If they want to be there, they will find it.  It will be fun.  Big fun.  Not a thought or opinion.  

Just FACT!  

Why?  

Because I said so.  

Trust me.  I’ve watched “The Sandlot” and “The Natural” this week, in the same night, between 10 pm & 5am, the same night.  

“You’re killing me Smalls!!”  Do the math.  I didn’t sleep much that night, but I felt good the next morning.  The ironic thing is that I watched Benny the Jet “pickle the beast” and then I got up and saw a doe sale online with a bunch of doe kids out of “the beast”.  How about that?  The goat world is intertwined with the fake world of hollyworld but still tied to the economy of…I give up.  The only common denominator is Kenneth Helms.  He is the star.  Actually, Joe Ed is the rock star.  He is home doing the labor required to raise champion goats while Kenneth is probably in some hotel discussing Thoughts, Opinions and OTHER CRAP with some other old geezer.  How true is this?

All I know is that….well….my knowledge is better dispensed in real life.  GOD bless.  Stay flexible, but not limp.