“Ha ha!  Joke’s over.  Just give me my wallet back and you can keep all of the cash in it.”

       At 6 am this morning, I asked the Dragon Lady if she had my wallet.  I couldn’t find it.  I knew where I had it last.  I had been looking.  I didn’t care about the cash.  What I did care about was NOT having to cancel/renew a debit & credit card not to mention a school fuel card & credit card as well as a lifetime hunting license, social security card and voter’s ID card.  Oohh!   I shuddered at the thought of trying to gather all of that stuff up.  A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away…….I lost my ID and had to re-prove my existence in order to get it all back.  In all honesty, I was prepared to just admit that I was an illegal immigrant and that I would register as a democrat if they just didn’t make me go through all of that crap again.  

        Most of all, I didn’t want to have to jump through all of the hoops in order to get a new copy of my driver’s license, which is made worse because I have a CDL.  

        At 10 AM, I had to be at High Plains Technology Center (the Dragon’s place of employment).  I got there, walked in and said,  “Ha ha!  Joke’s over.  Just give me my wallet back and you can keep all of the cash in it.”   She looked at me and said, “You seriously don’t have it?”   

“No.  And it is a sizable amount of cash.  Just give the rest back to me.”  I was joking.  Not about the cash but I didn’t think that she took it.  I really thought that it fell off of my dresser and her queer little dog had snatched it.  

       It was a HUGE relief when the wallet was found.  And it was found in the washing machine (I looked twice).  Guess who found it?  Yep.  The Dragon Lady.  Hunh?!?!?  Suspicious?!   No. 

      I held true to my word.  Keep the cash and give me the rest of it.  She said, “I am scared of keeping the cash?”    What?  Why?

       “You have $666 in there.  I don’t like that number.”    

OOOHHHHH SNAPPP!  I told her to not take it all.  “Take $665 but whatever you do break that number up.”   

She replied, “I don’t need any of it but I did buy $200 worth of plants today.”     Me—“Take it. Take It.  Just please break that number up.”  I don’t want no bad ju-ju around here.  

      And as the evening wraps ups, I decided to break the seal on a gift.  I hadn’t had it before but I knew it would be good because John Q Kelln AND Tom Kester have both told me it would be good.  I trust them.  

        I popped the seal, poured a little bit over a couple of rocks of ice, took a sip and then proclaimed, “That’s really good.  Smooth.  I like it.”   The Dragon Lady then said, “Perfect!  That fixes all of this.  We were worried about that bad # and now you are ending this evening with Angel’s Envy.  It got better.”  

         Thanks to those that brought me a bottle of Angel’s Envy bourbon.  The timing was perfect to break it out (It has been here for more than a month).  To those that delivered such a prize…..I raise a glass, “Cheers to the success so far and for those awards yet to be realized.  Trust me, one never knows the timeliness of how life works out.  Thank you.”    

        For all of you poor souls that read this drivel.  Take a moment and think about how EFFED up your life is without any cards, ID, etc.  My phone also didn’t work for several hours this morning.  As a whole, we are too dependent on these items.  I am guilty.  You are too.  Get your minds right.  Otherwise, you will end up buying a high dollar goat without a plan.  It’s OK if you have a plan.  But a sin without a plan.  Have a good one.