Sometimes, this dang blog feels like an unpaid job. Other times, it feels good to pound the keyboard. And yet, other times, you just wish, that maybe, this is all a bad dream and it didn’t even exist. And then crap gets real.
Things got real during third hour today, food science class, on this fine Thursday. Now, just to give the readership some background, this is a class of all seniors. Yes, we discuss things like the 8, soon to be 9, major food allergens. Other topics include nasty cheeses, bell peppers, mustard and tomatoes. (All nasty except for mustard!) Today, we spent about 15 minutes discussing the proper & improper methods of euthanizing chickens. In the next week or so, we will butcher broilers in class. Yes, a couple of them are a little too excited and a couple don’t want no part of this activity. It doesn’t matter which side they are on, things are going to get real. Also, in this class, we cook things. Not every week, but every so often. Not quite home ec class, but at least they understand the different cooking methods and how ag products are utilized. Fun class? YES! We also find time to work on ag mechanics, public speaking, scholarships, community service and basically whatever we want to do from time to time, as the need arises. In short, when we get time, we cook stuff and talk about the ag products utilized and the methods used to produce these products. One would have to really piss me off in order to not make a B in this class.
On this day, one of the girls asked a direct question to me. She said, “Hey, Mr. Kelln, I have to write three blog posts for an assignment. How do I need to write them?”
Not thinking, I asked, “What, specifically, do you mean?”
She then asked, “Do I need to keep it in paragraph form or just double space in between so I can keep things straight?”
Instinctively, I answered, “Keep it as grammatically correct as possible.” Then I asked, “Did you say three blog posts?”
“YES.”
“For what class?”
“College.”
“College what?”
“English.”
Wait! What? How in the?
At this point, I had to ask, “Your college English class is asking you to write three blog posts?”
“Yes.”
For further background. This is a NON-stock show, NON-goat oriented student. How in the heck does she know about this worthless page? Basically, $h!t just got real (still clean).
Oh snap!!!! I now see where this is going. So, I tried to be as professional and educational as…..I tried. I tried to answer questions as how to write three different blog posts. Right about the moment that I am answering questions to a student that has read THIS blog, another student asks the obvious, “How come you are asking Mr. Kelln about how to write a blog?”
Her reply, “Duh, he’s been writing one for years!” REAL!
My reply–Write one blog post that is informative. Write one that is personal, almost like a journal or diary. Write another one that is like an advertisement or review. “Just remember that some people make money from a blog. I don’t.”
As I was answering her questions, I was also asking questions of myself. And as I am typing tonight, I am still asking and trying to answer these questions.
1–Keep it informative. Answer a question that readers will appreciate. Which brings up this question–What is the target market for the readers of this blog? Who are the readers?
Answer–started out as a goat page. But, then rapidly shifted to a livestock page. Now, it trends towards an ag teacher page, yet there are some readers that are just waiting for the next train wreck. (I hate typing on this laptop–I may go find a rusty ice pick and stab myself). I TRULY do hope that readers learn something. Yet, still, if you don’t, it is your own fault because you clicked to this page of your own volition.
2–Keep it fun. Do all readers find this blog fun?
Answer–NO! Everybody likes to rank sports, movies, songs, whatever. We like stories. LOVE real life stories. It is cool that I get texts asking about the Dragon Lady (now known coast2coast, border2border), Duke or what adventure is Kela now on. Now, I am real sure that there are a couple of judges and some crooked sacks of monkey crap that do NOT enjoy reading this blog. Yet, they have read it. Yes, they have. They probably had to have a buddy say, “DUDE! Have you seen?” And then they read it and then have to decide their next step. You know what? If the shoe fits, they can take their own shoe and shove it ………”
3–Commercial/Promotional Do all blogs make money?
Answer–No!! Dang sure not this one. I’ve never taken a dollar for this blog. Not one damn, I mean dang, dollar. I should have. I’ve been offered. I’m retarded. In fact, it actually costs me $s to have a blog. And the more that read it, the more it costs. Those of you that really know me understand that I like the pursuit of $s and I do know how to be profitable but I really don’t care about the value of a $.
How many people read this blog?
answer: Too many. Not enough. Yes, I pay by the number of clicks but how many are the same person clicking from a computer, laptop (yes, there is a difference), phone, work, home, etc. I don’t know exactly. Does it matter? In the end, it all depends on the server.
Is thig blog a Kelln personal diary?
answer: NO. NO. NO. From my mind to my fingers to the keyboard is an filtered version of what goes through my skull. Most everything that I have written has merit, yet some was just hypothetical. I have learned that it is easier for some family members to keep tabs on me to read this crap. Those of you that have never encountered the LIVE version of “Kelln” would not understand. Sometimes, it is easier to read about it. For example–I have a great mother AND a great mother-in-law. Need I say more? No, I don’t. They are both wicked awesome. Maybe I need to write a blog about the power of step parents. Yes, I should. Wicked powerful. I should and shall do it and yet, I have just made some of you forget about your normally negative feelings towards me because you now relate. Do I have step-parents? Does it matter? No.
Regardless of the media that one uses, no matter how you decide to write, be mindful of the consequences. Seriously. I don’t use instagram, snapchat, tiktok and I limit my book face interactions as anybody can involuntary see that crap. On a blog, you, the reader made the decision to read this crap. Have I hit submit on things that I shouldn’t have? Valid question.
The answer is…..yes. For dang sure YES! I have hit submit on blogs that have cost me problems. Do I wish that I could go back and change things? HAAAA!!!! No. My life could have been easier but when you’re right, you’re right. I now feel the urge to play a Jerry Reed song.
Here’s the reality of this stupid damn blog. I have made friends from sea to shining sea. Not contacts. Friends. I’ve written about some, mentioned others in passing on here and think fondly of all of them. As bad as Tammy despises this blog, she understands the reach and loves the people that pull into our piece of paradise and exclaim, “THE Dragon Lady!” Yet, others meet her and will NOT call her by that name. Until she gives permission, which is not a problem. She earned the title. In all seriousness, the friends that we have as a result of them relating to some part of this blog….unreal.
Is this blog getting long? Yes. Too long? That is up to you. If you want to keep reading, have at it. If not, click away to another site.
I try to keep it real on here. There are some old-school livestock legends that read this. And they wish that “could you please tone it down when talking about judges?” Yeah, I can if they are on the up & up. Too many have stood back and let these crooked ass-hats keep judging. I’ve got no political ties and am not afraid of retributions for said actions.
All of a sudden, this blog sounds like a D Mitch phone call. Started off very cool, educational and complimentary. And then let’s fast forward to the cool music, keep kids in perspective speech. He’s very rarely wrong–on music or perspectives. And since he is one of the best ag teachers in OK——fight me if I’m wrong.
Here’s the jist of the story.
It can get real, real quick if you ain’t ready. And bein real is way more important than keepin it real. If you stayin real, you don’t have to worry about fakin’ real.
Thank you Mr. Kelln for the example of how-NOT-to write-a-blog.
The scary yet realistic part, is that several readers, will read this deal TWICE. Which will actually cost me money.
I’m done. For now.
