I have lots of goat stories.  But, I get sick of talking goats.  So, how about a non-confrontational story that does not involve a goat?

Tammy and I have some friends (former students) who have their own family and all that it entails.  The eldest child is a senior in high school and the other is a 7th grader.  The youngest child was at the dinner table, reading a book.  She ate, read the book and then got up and left.  This was a bit odd as this child isn’t much of a book reader.

The mom asked her eldest child, what is she reading about.  The senior child responded, “I don’t know but she asked me what a word in the book meant.”

The mom asked, “What word?”

The senior responded, “She wanted to know what ‘horny” meant.  So, I told her.”

In a panic, the mom said, “OMG!  And what did you tell her?”

Sr. girl–“I told her the truth.  Like a horny toad.  Duh!  What did you think I would tell her?”

All I know is that these parents have every bit of this coming to them.  They earned it.

I was pretty pumped about the peppered bacon, blue & gold sausage, fresh eggs and blueberry pancakes that the Dragon Lady cooked for supper.  Wicked awesome good.  Then, Kela called and was headed to the beach to eat Italian.  Yeah, she might have us beat, but I won’t trade that kind of supper/breakfast for the beach.

Kela did tell us that she has enjoyed working with “the best singer in the world.”   I love it.

Okay, just one goat story.  Duke and I ivomec’ed a plethora of bucks tonight.  And we trimmed hooves on Manilla Gorilla and Joe Dirt.  Jeeminy Christmas!  Dirt’s front hooves are always miserable.  But, tonight was brutal.  40 minutes to get them trimmed.  One back hoof was fine–I needed a Ginsu knife to cut through the others.  I guess the extremely dry conditions coupled with him being as old as a rock made for some slow slicing.  The good thing is that Tyke owes me lunch now.  Although, I would have gladly traded.

It was  bit of a busy weekend and the weekend actually started on Thursday evening.  It was a miserable windy SOB of a day.  Duke and I needed to wash and dry a couple of buck prospects but we lost power.  Friday morning brought Duke and I loading 10 yearling bucks and headed to Perry.  I didn’t think that we could wash, clip and photo 10 bucks in one day.  I was wrong.  With the crew of Duke, Ring, Braden and BK washing, drying and clipping with Tommy and I watching over them…guess what… you can.  I had to write several checks but they were checks well earned and well spent.  If you want good help, pay for it.

Saturday brought Tammy and I at a bull sale bidding for Dad.  He had some little heart deal on Friday and was sore on Saturday.  We got the 2 that he wanted.  And they were the right 2.  One thing about JQK, he buys damn good bulls, regardless of color.  Then we went to Pullan’s and Seelke’s.  Good stops.

Sunday brought shearing Dec. born wethers.  Inducing labor.  Hauling more limbs.  Having some serious discussions about showing wethers.  And swapping goats with the Arnett division of the Kelln Livestock doe herd. Lots of bottle babies on the NE corner of the town of Arnett.  Better there than at Fargo.  They like them at Arnett.  Not so much at Fargo.  Maxwell the retarded wether goat got a haircut today.

This afternoon also brought a lesson learned by Duke.  When hooking up to a trailer with a 2 5/16″ hitch, make sure that it is a 2 5/16″ ball and NOT a 2″ ball.  When he loaded the Gator, the trailer came off the ball and now there is a dent in the tailgate of the Grey Goat pickup.  Dad (ME) is NOT pleased.

Here’s to me looking forward to April 22.  The 3rd annual Banners &  Backdrops sale.  I’m pretty amped about a couple of goats that we will be taking there.

Part of me is glad to hear all of the remarks regarding the karma post.  But, I also don’t want to lose sight of the fact that although there are some turds that cause problems in this industry, the HUGE majority of people in the stock show game are legit.  Some of the absolute best people that I have ever dealt with are stock show people.  I’ve written about great Americans such as Jim Rhodes, Scott Comstock, Darrel Gosney, Brandon the Bruce and others.  Legends such as Stan Bixler are still helping kids in the ag industry.  There are so many more positives than negatives, but we all tune into the negative stories.

I find it interesting that some of the most influential people in the Oklahoma wether shows are borderline A-holes.  Allan Poe, Tommy Milligan, Mikey Thompson and Bryan Kennedy just to name a few.  You could include me, but I’m not really borderline.  What I also know about myself and these dudes, is that they will all answer questions and help kids, help breeders, help others in general.  And most of the time, there isn’t money involved.  Individually, we are a gruff, temperamental group, that has each managed to find success in this game.  Granted, Tammy will tell you that all of these guys have great wives.  None of us will argue.  I have personally witnessed what all of these guys have done behind the scenes to help the industry and most of all to help kids.  Most don’t realize this and every one of these people mentioned in this paragraph will certainly not worry about whether somebody thinks they are an ass or not.  They will just continue to take care of business.  But the goat business is screwed without people like this.   I can’t help but think how much Duke Kelln or Newt Sweet might win if their parents quit helping everybody else’s kids.

       Which brings me to a cool text that I received this week.  And I quote, “Mr. Kelln (correct spelling), most of the time I think you are an ass but this time you’ve earned a bunch of respect from me.  I appreciate you having the balls to say what needs to be said publicly.  Thanks.”    

      Dude, I loved this.  It took some balls to hit send and sign his name.  I love it.  Granted the dude, doesn’t really know me, has never been to my house to look at goats or talk goats or whatever, hasn’t bought from me in a sale, or bought buck semen, but somehow I am an ass.  Okay, that’s fine, not sure but I still love the text and the fact that he sent it and I got it.  I have no problem with somebody thinking that as I probably earned the title.  But, I have done this a long time.  I have seen more than my share of crap.  I’ve probably screwed up before and probably will again.  Guarantee that I have learned from past mistakes.  I have not nor will not put my kids’ name in jeopardy.  But, the odds are extremely high that I am right. Like it or not.  I don’t care.

I want to close on a positive note.  Every one of us knows of somebody that is helping others.  That is why we are showing.  The NEGATIVE always gets brought to the forefront and in reality, it is just a few turds that stink up the place.  It just so happens that these turds are big.  Just like our mainstream media, we need to quit focusing on the bad and remember the positive notes.  These positives are a way better kind of deal.

I was recently asked the question, “How bad is it in the stock show game?”  My reply–I always try to wear clean underwear.  But, occasionally there is a skid mark.  And then I make sure and change to some clean drawers.  It’s time for some clean underwear.

On a positive note, the wind was absolutely horrendous on this day.  BRUTAL!   The wind was whipping the high lines.  I don’t know if the electric cooperative killed the power or if it was luck, but when it was the windiest, there was no power from Mooreland to Shattuck.  Therefore, no fires.  Sometimes, things just work out for the best.  Like clean underwear.

And my last piece of advice for this evening.  If you like wearing dirty drawers, remember that the yellow stain goes in the front.  Have a good one and a better tomorrow.  I’m going to.

Tonight, I had to attend a donkey basketball event.  Fargo Ag Boosters hosted a donkey basketball tournament with competing teams from Arnett, Fargo, Ft. Supply and Shattuck.  Arnett beat Fargo in the first game.  One of the Arnett boys slapped Mr. Spake on the back and said, “Good job, coach.  That’s one more win than we had ALL basketball season.”

We had a couple of bad asses that didn’t want to be ridden.  Several of the boys got thrown, but eventually rode that donkey.  Duke was mad that he didn’t get a try on that one.  I was just glad that we didn’t have to haul his ass to the hospital.  The Armenian foreign-exchange student wanted to try to ride the bucking/kicking donkey.  We kept her on a milder, smaller donkey.  Sometimes you just had to get off and drag your ass across the court.  Congrats to Ft. Supply for winning the tournament.  They kicked ass!

Coach Kornele, Coach Spake and I were discussing stock shows and we all agreed that hauling asses around to play basketball would be a way worse job.

Although this isn’t normally what I would want to be doing, it was a fun experience that involved a wide variety of kids.  It also got kids from each chapter to interact and therefore, will give them a talking point as they mature and cross paths in the future.  We can lose sight at times, but in the end this is what we are supposed to be doing.  Getting kids ready for the future so that they don’t get their asses kicked!  I’m done.

Have a good one and a better tomorrow.

I love it! I thoroughly enjoy it when karma comes back to bite cheaters in the ass.  But, I absolutely hate it when you look at the collateral damage.

      First of all, congrats to Kedrick Miller and crew for raising the reserve grand wether at OYE as selected by the judge.  It looks like yankee goats can compete anywhere.  Kedrick, Cooper and their crew works hard and wins and as a result they are piling up the banners…even if they aren’t in the backdrop with this particular one.  Classic!!  

      I do not like the fact that one breeder had to run a retraction and another breeder then be able to claim the goat.  Not fair to either one.  There is NO doubt in my mind that the first breeder was lied to.  But, that is partially their fault as well.  If you listen to the wrong people, expect problems.  

Second of all, and more importantly, congrats to Nicole Lee and her family on NOW having the reserve grand wether at OYE.  The Kelln’s are happy for her family.  She has had a nice career and that bronze deal wasn’t bad, but a division champ, reserve grand handshake and a limo ride would have been better.  Just some more collateral damage caused by cheaters.

I am sure that there will be several parties playing the “naive” card.  I am also real sure that every party knew exactly what was going on.   The whole industry knows that there is a four letter word that brings a stench to goat shows.  It shouldn’t be that way as that deal probably knows more about livestock than anyone on the planet.  But…

All that I am getting at is this.  I don’t like dirty pool.  Play it straight up.  Go win or get beat by something better, but dang it, do it straight up.  Too many of these people are too talented to play it like this, but they can’t help themselves.  They are convinced that they have to do this crap.  And as a result, there is collateral damage.  There were kids affected on either side of this.  Other parents are having to explain to their kids what happened.      For the second time in a month, I am having to explain to Duke what happened.  Dude, it ain’t cool.

A banner is NOT worth it.  Play it straight.  Give it your best.  Whatever cliche you want to use.  As a parent, it is not worth it.  Parents need to think about what they are doing.  These bad decisions affect other people.  And NO, I’m not just talking about this goat show.

I am actually re-reading this and don’t feel like anybody should be offended but…I’m probably wrong.  There may even be some bad karma sent my way.  I may even get another world-record longest text.  That’s fine.

I am entirely not missing the point that some people just can’t keep from cheating.  And I am sure that they can lay their head on their pillow in peace at night because they are used to it.

Good luck to you and your family!  Have a good day and a better tomorrow.

I hadn’t hit this keyboard in almost two weeks till yesterday morning.  Then, I just had to mention that it wasn’t windy.  Dang!  I jinxed it as the wind came howling down the plains.  Brandon THE Bruce was the first to call me on this.  I am sorry.

I have seen Jerry Jeff Walker play live.  It was a decade or two and a half ago in Lubbock, TX.  I have always liked his song “Pissing in the Wind.”  Well, today, I thought about that song several times as I was reminded that there is an art to pissing in the wind.   You don’t want to aim into the wind.  You also don’t want to aim in the direct opposite direction as a bit of a swirling action happens and it ain’t good.  You kind of want to do a 105 degree angle kind of thing.  I apologize but you dudes know what I mean.

I had a list of stuff that HAD to be done this weekend.  First, electric fence had to be run on some wheat for Duke’s cows.  I didn’t mean for my dad to do this, but it was evident that this was a PaPa/Duke kind of thing and I stayed out of the way.  I made sure that the building materials were close.  Then I tore down the wood fence on the west side of our house.  Big THANKS to the old man for doing this.

We made it to Milligan’s and checked out these buck prospects that he sold.  There were some dang good prospects.  I made several stops and I am liking these Easy Decision kids.  They are just dang good livestock.  Proud to say that we made one as good as Easy Decision.  I have heard some rumors about some good Easy Decision kids that will sell in April.  He has had a good start but things look bright.  I laid hands on a pair of Blood Pressure kids that are wicked.

Tyke, Kenny Rogers (Old Greer) and I got back from a tour today.  Saw some good stock.  Once home, my mom showed up with some gumbo.  Beings as I have dealt with some legitimate coonasses, I questioned the contents of this gumbo.  Hey now, my mom is a wicked good cook–one of the very best.  Just ask my dad, my brothers, myself, the Dragon Lady or whoever else, this lady can flat out cook.  The Dragon Lady can school her on grilling a steak, but cooking…oooohhh man, Duke’s mimi can flat out cook it.  But gumbo?  Yes sir!  It wasn’t quite as spicy as I like it, but it would make most cajuns proud.  The roux was dang good.  Really, all it needed was some wicked good chow-chow dabbed on top of it.

On a further note, just like carpenters and plumbers, one should not pay a tree trimmer until the job is done. I didn’t want to pay him at 3:30 in the afternoon but I was already late to head to OKC.  These guys must have watched me drive off and then quit.  One more hour of work would have been perfect, but NO!  Oh well.  I do feel like I got my money’s worth.  So….

In good time I will write about OYE.  It was a wicked good stock show–all species.  I would keep writing tonight but I am going to step off the porch and take advantage of the wind laying down just a bit.

P.S.  Here’s to hoping and praying that Rick Barnthouse makes a comeback.

Have a good one and a better tomorrow.

Sometimes orange juice just tastes better at home.  After living in a Hampton Inn in Oklahoma City for the past nine days, it is great to be home, drinking a glass of orange juice out of an old Eskimo Joe’s cup while sitting in my own office chair.  The sun is shining, the wind is not blowing and there is plenty to be done.  I am glad that the stock show season is over.  It is now time to recharge and reload.

Stay tuned for news.

All of us in the stock show game want to know who was grand at whatever show.  How good was it?  All of that crap.  But, there is a real world that goes on outside of the show ring.  We can lose sight of that.  A small percentage of kids actually win big shows.  Very few.  But, there are always kids that are dealing with real life.

For example, I have a student who owns his own semi and ground load trailer.  Not a new unit by any stretch, but he has his own rig.  Yes, he drives it to school a couple of times per week.  And he hauls lots of cattle.  His own, his dad’s, for hire, whatever he can do, he’s doing it.  Just trying to make a dollar and build a program.  Good deal.

Now, this kid has spent the last two days with this semi and trailer hauling cattle.  For FREE!  He’s been helping people get their cattle out of the way of the fires.  Catch em, Load em and Move em.  His cattle are safe so he’s just been doing what you do in the ag business…if there is a problem, you help somebody else.

Trust me, Carl would way rather be hauling cattle than be in school.  But, the fact of the matter is he has been out there fighting the good fight.  People want to talk bad about today’s kids.  Well, this deal probably ought to be in the news as I bet there isn’t many other high school kids hauling cattle for people with their own semi and trailer.  I would love to see a TV interview with Carl.  It would be fun.  And they would have to wait until the work is done.  I don’t worry about kids like this.  This kind understands work ethic and how to do good by others.  The very things that our country was founded upon.  Accolades are in order.

Speaking of the news, whether you watch OKC or Amarillo news in this part of the world, they spend more time covering a backyard grass fire within 20 miles of a metro area than they do a fire that has burnt up about a million acres in three states.

No matter where you live or your involvement in agriculture, you will have good neighbors and people that will help.  Ag people get it. Give accolades to those in your area that step up and help.

Anybody that knows me will allow that I am basically a wedge-ass and don’t like to spend money.  BUT,  but when I’ve had it with something, get it done, hand me a bill and I will hand you a check.  DONE!

I’m at that point with tree limbs and trees.  I’ve rented man lifts and trimmed trees.  I’ve hauled limbs numerous times every year.  I’m done!  I’ve had it!

I had a tree trimming crew come by and give us an estimate.  This crew has worked for some other wedge asses that I know.  They are working in the area which keeps travel costs down.  It is WAY cheaper than what was going on the end of January and the month of February.  It is still more than I want to spend (which is ZERO), but I am out of time and my patience with trees and the resulting damage caused by falling limbs AND…AND I am sicking of spending my time and Duke’s time hauling off tree limbs.  It doesn’t take me long to calculate the rental of a man lift, time spent, chainsaw usage, time spent cussing the project, time spent being cussed at by wife for doing it wrong, dead trees, chainsaw blades, time spent wishing I would have paid somebody else to do it, YES, It has to be this weekend because it is the only time that I have to do it and I don’t care if the wind is blowing 35 mph it has to be done NOW because that is when I paid for the lift rental,  time spent hauling limbs….DUDE sometimes you just ante up and get the crap done..and pay somebody to do it. Save the marriage.  Still like your favorite son.  Not have to buy a new chainsaw.  All of a sudden this deal looks cheap.

Which brings us back to showing goats.  I can understand why some people would rather pay somebody to buy their goats, somebody to clip/shear said goats, somebody to give showmanship/feeding lessons and help on getting them ready at shows.  Hell, if you ain’t sure and don’t have time it is cheaper to just pay somebody that KNOWS what they are doing and just be done with it.  Then momma and the kids are happy.  Jeez, I want to hire somebody like that.  The problem….there ain’t many that know what they are doing.

But, it has to work like the tree trimming crew.  This crew looked like tree trimmers in NW Oklahoma.  I’m pretty sure that they don’t have a degree from a forestry college on proper tree trimming and maintenance.  They may have gone to Oklahoma Panhandle State University or West Texas A&M school of forestry.  (Both great schools, but if you don’t find the humor then…well, I apologize)  The owner dang sure needs to handle the PR work.  Very polite.  But I loved it when he met Duke.  His crew was behind him at the pickup.  Yes, there were numerous visible tattoos.  Okay.  That’s fine.  One or two may be recovering from an addiction or two.  He asked Duke what grade he was in?  Duke replied “Sophomore.”  One of the crew shouted out, “Dude, stay in school otherwise you will end up trimming trees the rest of your life.”  There’s some sound advice.  Unless you like that work and there is money to be made.

Have a good day, a better tomorrow and pray that fires don’t come near you.  Tammy and I lost a house to flooding decades ago, but nobody was in harms way.  No animals lost.  I wouldn’t wish a fast-moving fire on my worst enemy.  Pray for those that have been hit.

P.S.  Several years ago, I listened to Barney Fowler talk about a fire that had spread across their place.  They had lots of scorched ears and such.  Lost some kids.  But, at first, they thought that most of the does had made it through the fire.  But then they realized that udders had been seared.  Then they started losing hooves off does from the hot ground.  It took weeks to realize all that they had lost.  I don’t know of any goats lost in this latest deal, but there are lots of cattle that have been lost.  Some people replaced 50 miles of 5 wire barb wire last year and got wiped out again.  Lots of hay has been lost in a drought stricken area.  It’s agriculture and prayers will be offered and people will survive.  It is what we do.

P.S.S.  After using Eucalyptus Oil on my chest, around my nostrils and in the humidifier, I have spent the last 13 days, lying there on the couch, late at night, trying to breath and all I could think of was “I bet koalas don’t get much congestion since all that they eat is Eucalyptus leaves.”  I know.  I’m retarded.

It has been windy here for the past week.  I mean really nasty windy.  But Monday brought a whole new level of windy.  I truly believe that it was the windiest day that I ever remember.  Brutal!  The kind of wind that folds pickup doors backwards.

We lost backyard fence, feeder lids and the trampoline got rearranged.  And of course, more tree limbs.  All of this can be dealt with.  However, with wicked winds and no rain, there is the threat of fire.  The towns of Laverne and Buffalo were evacuated last night.  Homes north of Woodward were lost.  Some of these people lost hay, fence and cattle last April in that fire.  The Comstock’s had to leave home last night but luckily the winds changed and they didn’t lose their homes.  Cattle have been lost in Oklahoma, Texas and Kansas.

Forty miles straight west of us in Lipscomb County, Texas a fire line stretched for 20 miles.  Dad was prepared to open the gates in order to turn cattle out and get them out of the fires path.  Luckily, it didn’t come to that.  The smoke from that fire blew straight east and thoroughly enveloped our little paradise.  You would have thought that fire was just across the road with the amount of smoke.

Thankfully the winds have died down.  Hopefully, there was no more loss of homes or livestock during the night.  Prayers for the volunteer firefighters and their safety as they bravely take on the job of dealing with these wildfires.  Pray for those that have lost homes, barns and livelihoods.