I would like to tell you that I meant to type Hell No, but I would be wrong.  Saturday night brought some wicked stuff.  Big hail!  Luckily we were on the very south side of this storm.  The town of Fargo was a direct hit.  Our friend Jay Bogdahn took a head on collision with softball size hail.  He will be getting new windows on the west side of his house.

Earlier this week, I had a couple of dudes show up that wanted to screw down the tin on the big red barn and paint it silver.  I really didn’t want to deal with them, but….they took a look at the job, shot me a price of $650 for EVERYTHING!  I looked at that dude and said, “You better get your ass to screwing tin because you just got hired.”  RUSM?!  You couldn’t pay me $500 just to climb on that tall, steep ass roof much less put screws in or paint.  They did it and I can tell you that the fresh silver paint really accentuates the hail dents.

Skylights in the barn, shingles, grainary roofs, house roof, pickup dents, tractor lights, etc.  We got lucky.  It could have been worse.  I don’t think that the tater crop will make.  In the town of Fargo, they don’t have glass left in their vehicles.  Actually, that isn’t true.  The glass is now in their floor boards.

Is there a slow McDonald’s?  Hail yes.  And it is in Childress, TX.  Clean but slow.

“The more relaxed you are, the better you are at everything: the better you are with your loved ones, the better you are with enemies, the better you are at your job, the better you are with yourself.”

Dude, I can get wound up and in a hurry.  It doesn’t take me long to get pissed.  But, I do think that I am getting better.  Some topics and some happenings get me wound quicker than others.  I have lots of Bill Murray quotes, but they are normally from some movie.  Especially Carl Spackler quotes.  But the opening is one of my favorite and it ain’t from a movie.  It’s just a BFM quote.

The older that I get, the more it concerns me when I hear the quote, “We are on a mission to win…whatever.”  The mission should not be to win a show.  The mission should be to use a livestock animal as a vehicle to teach a kid how to work towards a goal while learning work ethic, finances ( yeah, stop that.  The value of putting work in towards earning a dollar or two. That part is priceless.) and animal knowledge as well as people knowledge.  That’s the true mission statement.

The goal to win a show is an absolute must.  Every showman needs to feel the thrill of winning their first county, jackpot, maybe a district show and very, very, very few ever know the feeling of winning a state show.  The goal to make a first premium sale, ride in the limo, hang a banner, win a class, make the sift, whatever the goal(s), please, please set those goals and work towards them.  They are all highly commendable and highly, highly recommended.  However, the “mission” to win a show, just to prove a point, normally ends up in too many $s being spent, rules being bent/broken, people pissed off.  It is for all the wrong reasons.  A person can lose sight.  Dude, I’ve been there.  I know the feeling. I get it. It ain’t right.  And it is almost ALWAYS the adults that make these mission statements.  Not the kids.

I will guarantee you that if you leave the kids in charge, talk to them, ask them their goals, things get pretty real.  You will quickly realize that YOUR goals are NOT their goals.  And, their goals are actually better.  My favorite son may be the death of me, but he has dang sure made me realize what the true priorities in life are.  I guarantee that many adults as well as his friends will attest to this.  The dude stays pretty chill.

Kela had goat showing goals of being in every grand drive for a year.  She did that several times.  And people, that wasn’t an easy goal.  She won a few of those shows, was reserve grand at many more and managed to consistently be in those grand drives.

Duke’s goals have been harder.  Partially because his dad/ag teacher has became a liability.  But, I haven’t failed him yet.

I gotta include at least one Bill Murray line from Caddyshack.

“Cinderella story. Outta nowhere. A former greenskeeper, now, about to become the Masters champion. It looks like a mirac… It’s in the hole! It’s in the hole! It’s in the hole!”

Okay, just one more.

“Licensed to kill gophers by the government of the United Nations. A man, free to kill gophers at will. To kill, you must know your enemy, and in this case my enemy is a varmint. And a varmint will never quit – ever. They’re like the Viet Cong – Varmint Cong. So you have to fall back on superior intelligence and superior firepower. And that’s all she wrote. ”

I don’t have the superior firepower and my intelligence is suspect.  But, I am on a journey with my family and friends.  We’ll just see how it ends.  Who knows?  There may be a Baby Ruth at the end.   At least for somebody. Have a good one and a better tomorrow.

This post shouldn’t take long, but….

I am real glad that it has rained…and rained…and rained….and rained… but I am sick of the mud.  And I can tell you that goats look like shit when it has rained and rained and rained.  Basically, we need some sunshine.  Solar power fence chargers and solar power water wells work better when the solar power is available.  I have had a crappy day or two and a few hours of sunshine will help it.  I did not enjoy having to get a tractor out of the barn in order to get a pickup unstuck (that was hooked to a gooseneck with 13 cows that averaged 1200# in it).  By the way, the pickup was in the road.  The trailer, however, had slid in to the ditch.  It could have been worse.

I hate doe goats (well known fact) but I also hate certain types of weeds.  The Russian musk thistle is on my list of most-hated weeds.  I spent an hour or two sloshing through the mud with a hoe.  Now, there isn’t many, if any, left standing.

While sloshing through that pasture, chopping thistles down,  it crossed my mind that I need to run a double crop operation.  I was thinking rice and crawdads.  I know that I am not the only that has these thoughts.  I don’t know a thing about harvesting rice but I can catch, bawl and eat those mud bugs.

It looks like a guard llama has value.  Dang!  I thought that critter would sell decent but I thought decent was $300 or 400.  I’m glad things are selling well for the Barnthouse family.

I know that I liked the show Dirty Jobs.  I also enjoy watching Mike Rowe’s video clips.  He has one about top colleges and the lack of trade schools being recognized.  People, I can attest to both sides of this conversation.  Tammy and I raised a kid that was academically inclined.  She did well.  This next kid, well, when he was in 4th grade, I made a comment to a friend that there is a reason that there are CareerTech centers and not every kid needs to go to college.  Ironically, Tammy now works for a CareerTech center and that kid will be a student there next year.  Duke does not have his sights set on college.  He loves to work, build stuff and CANNOT stand to sit in a desk listening to a lecture.  He is and will continue to be successful.  I don’t lose much sleep worrying  about Duke’s future.  He will be fine.  We don’t need to push college on every kid.  There is nothing wrong with trade schools, going to work or even the military.  Kids need to get out there and see what works best.

I did well at Oklahoma State University.  Loved it!  I’m not sure why I ever left Stillwater.  I have made many mistakes in my life but I have very few regrets.  But, I still wonder if I should have gone the military route.

I wish that I would have fertilized the grass pastures.  I know that alfalfa should be cheap this year.  I know that I got a haircut today and my hair is gray-er (spell that crap) and thinner than it used to be.  I also know that greenhouse plant sales go REAL well on sunny days.

Have a good one and a better tomorrow.

That would be me on this fine Friday evening.  Part of me would like to gripe about the amount of rain that we have had in the past 6 weeks, but I know better.  Although, I can hear Bob Seelke in the back of my mind–“I can buy all the dad gum hay that I need to raise goats. ”  I agree that goats do NOT like all the moisture and do NOT look good when it is wet.  But, for every other aspect of life, I am happy with the rain.

I did laugh at the text message “I should have used spell check when ordering my fidget spinner.”  Something about a brass pole and rhymes with fidget…just …. makes me laugh.

The highest priced goats always seem to end up in Oklahoma.  Yet, people drive through Oklahoma to buy does and bucks in Texas.  Part of me finds this odd.  The other part goes, well hell, I went to Texas for my initial herd start up.  Goat shopping in Texas is like going to Wal Mart.  You can fill your cart.  You just have to do some driving.

I sit here tonight pondering graduation.  Tammy and Duke went to Waynoka for High School graduation.  The girl that is graduating is the offspring of 2 of my former students.  That makes me old.  Which has left me to pondering other things.  I know that I am not immortal.  Nor, do I want to be.  I didn’t plan on making it to 40, yet here I am nearing 50.  I really thought that the Dragon Lady would have had enough of me by now to make me disappear.

Which reminds me of a text from my brother-in-law.  His wife has reminded him that she would NEVER be a divorcee but was not opposed to being a widow.  I think/know that the Dragon Lady subscribes to this same theory.  And by the way, that same brother-in-law is getting ready to graduate another honor student from high school.  Congrats to the Atha family for continued family excellence!  I guarantee that there is a proud Aunt Tammy.  I get to hear about it!

And back to my pondering.  As I sit and look at the Barnthouse dispersal, it makes one think.  Dude, this could happen to any of us.  How do you get rid of everything?

I have told Tammy, if something happens to me, call Tommy and Julie Milligan.  I try to remember to tell Tammy and Duke what partners there are regarding semen rights, etc.  Tell Tommy to take care of selling the goats.  You and Duke know how auctions work.  Sell the toys in one sale.  The equipment in another.  The goats need to be separate.  Pay for good help and get it done.  The Milligans know what they are doing.  There are other people that will want the commission, but they don’t know the business.  Some are good at selling sheep, others pigs, some cattle and others are just looking to find a place in the online business.  The Milligan’s have been in the online game longer than most and they know the goat business.  So, therefore, they need to sell my dispersal when it is time.  Tammy agrees but also says that she doesn’t want to talk about this kind of thing.  Kela says that Duke is in charge of burying me.  And Duke says, “Hunh.  Sure.”

As I have been hit up by other online sales places to sell with them for less commission, I ponder “Why in the hell would I sell with them alive, if it’s not where I have told my family to sell when I’m gone.”  I buy goats, pigs, sheep, cattle and equipment online.  I am not a novice buyer or seller when it comes to online sales.  When I have to have a text from the selling breeder that their sale is tonight, then that online auction service is not earning their keep.   Just pondering.  As with most of these blogs, I get to the end and ponder “How the hell did we end up here?  This isn’t where we started.”  Oh well.  It’s kind of like driving back roads with good music.  It’s all good.

Here’s to horseshoes and shamrocks while looking forward to green pastures with not-large Hereford cows.

Pondering.  That’s a good buck name.  Or maybe, I just need one named Amnesia and forget all this crap.

I really didn’t expect to make it to this milestone. I didn’t plan on living this long, much less actually being married for 25 years.  It is hard to believe that there is one woman that would stay married to me for 25 years.  It hasn’t always been easy.  It has been work at times.  There has been a whole lot of give and take.

It has been hard to keep the kids in line, take care of all of the cleaning, washing and folding of clothes.  It has been a chore to make sure that everybody is fed and that a high quality supper is ready.  It has been hard to chase animals, kids and others around somebody else’s schedule.

I say it is hard, but I really don’t know since the Dragon Lady takes care of all of that.  I didn’t marry for looks or money.  Although, the looks was and is still a bonus.  As our friend Kenneth Helms loves to remind me, “Kelln, you WAY out did yourself when you married her.”  Or as our buddy Tom Lamle likes to say, “Damn, you out kicked your coverage!”  Yes, yes I did.

I am not a big trophy counter but I like the two trophies that Tammy and I have.  Although, the youngest trophy seems to test both parents a bit.

Congrats to all of those that can make it work.  It ain’t easy, but it is worth it.  Cheers to the Schneberger’s on their celebration of this same date.

Have a good one and a better tomorrow.  I wouldn’t bet on me living another 25 years but I’ll stay married as long as I can.

I know, I know.  I haven’t been near the keyboard in a while.  Which is probably a good thing.  But for those of you that need some reading while you are taking care of your morning constitutional, here you go.

This pen of yearling bucks near Perry, OK is impressive.  One would have to drive a lot of miles to see a set like BOB, Otis and Sinatra.  Good goats.  I would like to lease one or two but that Milligan dude has been very noncommittal.

Brandon the Bruce hasn’t been around in a while.  He has been attending track meets.  His youngest daughter is just a freshman but can run like the wind.  Her relay team was state runners-up.  I know, I know….you would think that Brandon’s offspring would be throwing a discus or a shot, but no,  this girl can run.  It must come from Tesha’s side.

Tammy and I stopped in at the Gore’s truck stop PLAZA outside of Seiling on Saturday.  They have a good pizza place there.  As well as a Sonic, quick stop, hair cut place, car wash, fuel up stations, doggy exercise/dumping grounds AND the cleanest, nicest bathrooms ANYWHERE!  Tammy allowed that she could just sit in this plaza and “people watch” all day long.  Well, we left, headed east and went and listened to Big I sing Elvis tunes.  I also got lied to by Ring.  He told me that those peppers don’t taste like bell peppers.  He is a liar.  Those yellow bastards tasted JUST LIKE a damn bell pepper.

I know that Tyke and I smoked some briskets for about a 100 plus people.  And that was some wicked good brisket.

I find it odd that I never hear of any goat breeder say, “I need to get more registered goats.”  But it is very common to hear papered breeders say, “I’ve got to get more wether genetics in my herd.”  Hhhmmm?!

And tomorrow is May 15.  May 15, 2017…  that day should mean something to me.   What could it be?

Have a good one and a better one tomorrow.  Here’s to wishing nothing but horseshoes and shamrocks for all of you.  I’m gonna reach out and get me one of those milestones on May 15, 2o17.

Friday was perfect.  The only thing wrong with Friday was that we will not see another day as nice as that one the rest of this year.

Saturday was good.  Had a few meatheads that wanted to make some money.  I paid them to clean out the kidding barn and the chicken barn.  If I would have taken the brunch that they ate, mid-afternoon snacks, multiple gatorades, etc.,  and “union” breaks into consideration, they probably owed me money.  After working, Duke took them fishing.   I need a job like this.

Happy Birthday to John Q. Kelln on May 6.  He’s old.  Got another birthday on May 8.  Kela will have a birthday on Monday.  Of course, she is our favorite daughter.  And she sends messages from California.  Such as “Hope your day is going well! I’m about to work with (…)”  RUSM?!  All I know is that this actor played in movies such as Dodgeball, Old School, the Break Up, Couples Retreat, Wedding Crashers, among others.  I’m sure that all of you have good kids, but I won’t trade mine for yours.  Tammy and I kind of like this pair, even though they are very different.  Every day is a new adventure with them and we like it.  We like it a lot.  The only people that may like it more are the grandparents.

Sunday found me kind-of farming.  I also stood road-side with the neighborhood watch patrol.  They allowed that I needed to pick up the pace on the blog.  I agree but…..

Have a good one today and a better one tomorrow.

I have been limping along for months.  It hurts and I stay about half pissed at it.  I haven’t had time to do anything about it.  But, today, after dropping kids off downtown OKC, I went to Penn Square Mall to buy some clothes.  I then headed into the AT&T store.  By the grace of GOD, I caught a break in the crowd.  That and the workers laughed when they saw my ancient iPhone.

I didn’t want to buy a new phone but I didn’t have a choice.  I don’t know if I had a 3 or 4, but the camera didn’t work and it wouldn’t hold a charge.  I couldn’t hear much on it.  But, I now have a 7.  I went from a phone with 8 gigs to now having a 100 and some odd change.  They asked if this is what I wanted.  Heck no!!  I told them that I would rather have a bag phone but I don’t have that option.

So, now I have chargers that are incompatible.  Ear buds that don’t work without an adapter.  The dang phone doesn’t fit in my pocket as comfortable as the antique.  It also doesn’t fit my hand properly.  But, it knows my fingerprint so I can open it up.  And I can take a really good picture and watch a movie if need be.  Modern technology–where would we be without it?

In the words of Sheriff Buford T. Justice……Oohhppff!!    I really don’t know how to spell what the great one uttered in that movie, but I agree and I’ve had enough.  I’m ready for the State FFA Convention to be a thing of the past.  I’ve earned my keep this year but don’t know how much more of it I can do.  Sometimes, there are just too many irons in the fire.

And it is wet in Oklahoma.  Like, literally, Oklahoma got wet from end to end.  Some real wet.  We have water standing and we didn’t get the wicked wind the central OK got.  I’m fine with that.  I hope the tater plants don’t freeze tonight.  Who knows?  It is NW OK and anything can happen.

Chorus kids to OKC tomorrow.  Come home.  Go to Convention on Monday afternoon.  Get home late Wednesday night.  The end is near.

I hope you have a good one and I am waiting on next Thursday night for my good one.

This post is not about some police dog patrol.  It actually has nothing to do with a dog at all.  It is about a goat.  One of the very few doe goats that I like.

So, back in 2006, I traveled the state of Texas. I bought several groups of really good does. Harbour, Turner and Powell/Holman.  Great genetics to build from.  As I got them home, I vaccinated, wormed and ear tagged as they came off the trailer.  They were numbered in order.  For example, the Harbour goats were H1, H2,etc.  There was a crap load of Turner goats…T1, T2, T67, etc.  Same goes for the Powell/Holman does.

That same time, Fred Slater and I went to buying bucks.  We had already acquired Harley from Mike Kelly.  But we wanted a couple more.  In June of that year, we spent a day with the sisters.  We literally looked through hundreds of bucks and thousands of does.  Some stuff was not for sale, some was and some became for sale later in the day.  Tom Lamle, Fred Slater and I should write a book about this weekend.  There was a large dog, a crappy motel, lots of goats, something about being kicked out of a Wal Mart and a bunch of tacos.  But back to the story.

We bought a large group of does. When asked what they were sired by, Claire responded, “A damn good Powell/Holman buck.  Does it really make a shit?”  No.  No it didn’t.  They were damn good.   Then we got to dealing on bucks.  There was a red nutted buck out of Bingo that we all loved.  Price was acceptable.

There was a pair of twin yearling bucks that we loved.  NOT priced!  I kept asking.  NOT priced!  The day went on.  We left Claire’s and headed south of Sonora to Sharon’s place.  How about those south Texas bump gates?!  They will screw with you when you aren’t used to them.

Anyways, we sorted through a butt-load of goats..again.  And it was HOT!  I mean south Texas hot.  But, no wind.  We had agreed on a pile of does and possibly a buck.  But I wanted two bucks.  But Claire wasn’t having any of it.  We sat under a big tree in the corrals.  Did I mention that it was HOT?   I needed a break from the negotiations, so I headed to the trailer.   Lamle followed.  As I opened the tack room door, I heard “You mouthy bastard, if you are getting a beer, you better bring that ice chest back over here.”  It wasn’t Fred.  So, I did as I was told.

Several hours later, finally, we agreed on a price on that buck.  Fred and I agreed to name him X Factor.  People, this was 2006.   Many  years before Helms made another X Factor.  The sisters kept the twin buck and he sired lots of good goats.  We got X Factor and that set of does home and went to breeding.  Several months later, we had kids on the ground.  First goat that we ever put insurance on.

The first crop out of X Factor looked stellar.  And proved to be so.  Grand wether at Enid, Div. 1 champ doe at OYE.  Among others.  Let’s just say that he worked.  I kept several Dec. born doe kids out of him.  I tagged them with a K and their mother’s number.  Thus, P9 hatched K9.  X Factor found an untimely early death.  I didn’t get many out of him, but that dude left his mark.  Fade2Blacks’ mom was an X Factor out of T76—a Turner doe.

It never crossed our minds at that time to show K9.  She was big chested, round ribbed, tight hided, square racked, monster loined and big assed.  But, back then a parrot mouth and fished teats were a sure sift in the doe show.

We bred her early.  She had a July born kid that was a little bitty rat looking turd.  But I liked him!   I liked him a lot, but he was so skinny and green.  How skinny and green you ask?  Well, Scott Riley and Jack Staats came to buy a Bodog wether.  I priced that wether to them.  And told them that he wasn’t the best one.  Riley was wound.  “WHAT?! WTH?!”  I said, “That little skinny dude is the good one.”  BS!  Riley said, “Then price them.” So I did.  $2,500 for the Bodog wether and $1,500 for the pair.

Riley went to jumping up and down like a pogo stick. WTH? Why?  Staats said, “Scott, just calm down and take the deal.”  Scott’s girls were wicked good feeders and showmen.  They had not yet hit it big at OYE but it was coming.

Fast forward to OYE in 2009.  That little skinny goat out of K9 was champion lightweight and Bronze overall.  Proof that it pays to put good goats in capable hands.  And the Bodogx Harley wether was 3rd in class.  Good pair!

Then K9 was bred to Captain Morgan and had a res. div. at Tulsa with Meagan Rhodes.  Then she was bred to Starbuck (Black Sabbath) and had the 4th overall at the State Fair of Ok and the res. div. 6 at Tulsa.  Then I bred her to Joe Dirt. Halie Schovanec had a class winner at Tulsa.  Then I bred her to Rainman and still have both does–B33 and B34.  I lost a year in there to a thiamine deficiency.  I worked pretty hard to save this one.  It paid off.

Then, Schneberger set up a flush deal.  I flushed her to Rumour Has It.  This produced Law & Order, Skippy Red Leg and Goatness (which was the grand doe at Woodward District ’15).  I lost her ’15 kid.  Then Milligan and I bred her to Ear Muffs.  I sold a wicked doe kid out of her (that stayed REAL close to home) and sold the buck kid.

This doe has consistently made damn good goats.  Didn’t matter what she was bred to.  I won’t say that she is the best doe in Oklahoma, but she is better than most.  And at 10 years of age, you would expect an obituary.  But no.

I walked the pastures last night looking at notes and looking at goats. Seeing what does looked like they were bagging up.  I didn’t think that K9 had settled.  But, I thought, “Dude, she looks a tick piggy.  Maybe, first of June.”  I was WRONG!  How about April 27, 2017.  It was a big, big kid.  Duke held horns while I pulled.  Sure, enough, it was the single buck kid syndrome.  BIG!  I told Duke that we will lose this kid before we lose the doe.  A dairy doe was standing within a few feet with a fresh bag.  But, not this time.  Save the doe not the kid.  She has earned the right.  It took some work, but he is alive and she is fine.  I need to buy a lottery ticket as this is my lucky day.

We all want to get all geeked up about buck power.  It doesn’t matter the species, the bucks/bulls/boars get  us all fired up.  But, it is hard to put a price on a doe that works with every buck.   I was smart enough to flush her once.  But dumb enough not to try again.

Here’s to hoping that every one of you all have a doe like K9 that just works!  It makes it fun.  Have a good one and a……

You know what,  our family friends, Steve & Mindi Clark hatched their first kid.  A boy.  YEAH!

I think that Kevin Frazier is probably dumber than I am. Maybe.  YEAH!

The weather is all jacked out of whack here in paradise.  YEAH!   I should be used to it.  But, NOOOO!

This was a really long post with nothing “controversial” in it.  Yet. YEAH!

Have a good one and an even better tomorrow.