Got the favorite daughter home. Dragon Lady is in a good mood. Duke feels tall. I am happy and old.
Yes, I am aware that some of you are actually older. BUT……I am a high mileage unit without regular oil changes or tune ups.

Uncle Eddy–I got lots of texts and messages regarding the lists of best Christmas and BFM movies.  Which these texts brought new questions.  Is is it UNCLE or COUSIN Eddy?  Is it Eddy or Eddie?

OFFICIAL ruling:  It is Cousin Eddie.

We ventured to Burlington, OK to the Vintage House.  The Kelln Klan met up with Steve, Mindi & Thomas “Too Cool” Clark as well as Travis Bradshaw for a dang good supper.  If you haven’t been there, you need to.  It’s very, very good.  We just don’t make it that direction often enough.

We got a fresh batch of Brandon THE Bruce’s spicy chex mix.  He thought we would need it for the drive to Phoenix.  I don’t think this gallon jar will last till Tuesday when we leave.  IT’S GOOD!

No, I still haven’t found time to see The Last Jedi.  I will.  And so far, nobody has spoiled it.  But, I am aware that I am running out of time.

Yes, we are going to Phoenix and there is some room on a trailer or two if you need something hauled.

Had to break ice today.  Looks like the wethers may get to move into the kidding barn for several days.  I’m glad that I didn’t breed for late Dec. kids.
Horseshoes and shamrocks to all! Have a good one and a better tomorrow.

One of my favorites was on tonight–SCROOGED!  I love it.  Yes, Bill Murray is one of my favorite actors.    But I enjoy the whole take on a classic Christmas story.  Throw in Robert Mitchum kicking a cat, stapling antlers to a mouse’s head along with Bobcat Goldthwait and you have yourself a classic!  Plus, there are at least two of his actual brothers in this movie.

Top Christmas movies–

5–Home Alone

4–Elf

3–Scrooged

2–A Christmas Story

1–Christmas Vacation

And no, although Die Hard is a wicked good movie, it is not a Christmas movie.

Top Bill Murray movie roles of all time.  Not ranking the movies, ranking the roles.  Where to begin? At the top, of course.

1–Caddyshack

2–St. Vincent

3–Stripes

4–Groundhog Day

5–Scrooged

6–What About Bob?

7–Ghostbusters

8–Kingpin

9–Lost in Translation

He has played in many more movies, but BFM is the only one that could play these roles.

Lots of hooves trimmed, goats weighed & wormed and hopefully some progress on showmanship.  Some roads are longer than others.  I’m real good at helping good showmen become great.  I have to have help with beginners becoming acceptable.  Patience.  Patience.  I’m not real good in the patience department.  But I’m trying.

Now is a good time to spray wethers for fleas.  We hit all the show goats with Ivomec at this time of year.  It is a prime time for hoof trimming, mineral shots and worming.  A dose of multi-min, B12, Bo-Se if needed and any other legal stuff happens at this time.  Our wethers are eating Special K, GO juice and Vindicator.  Stemmy grass hay twice a week and all of the clean water they want.  Blanket(s), liners and keeping them comfortable during temperature fluctuations.

Have a good one and a better tomorrow.

For years, I’ve had a title for my first music album–Bagpipes, Banjos and Harmonicas.  Of course, the music on said album would utilize all three instruments in a rock and/or country genre.  There is only one limiting factor–I have never tried to play the pipes or strum a banjo and I only know how to play one song on the harmonica.  And that came about from me buying a harmonica in a Cracker Barrel back in about 1999.  And that harmonica had a little folded sheet music in the box which taught one how to play “When the saints go marching in.”  So, there you go.

Many months and several days ago, Tammy, the Dukester (pronounced Duke-Ster for us poor folk) and I went to Boston to watch the Red Sox beat the Yankees.  I hope none of you were trying to say it “Duke-Eh-Stair”.

While there, we went to the Black Rose.  However, when we got there, it was two minutes past the time for anyone under age to be admitted.  The bouncer said “No go!”  I looked in the door and said, “There are kids younger than Duke in there.”  WELL, they were already present dining.  I then said, “Give me a menu, the lad is hungry and we were waiting out-front to be seated.”  Although, we had just been to Legal SeaFood and Duke had just plowed through the most expensive lobster that I have ever purchased.

Some bantiful words, a well placed tip for door people, kitchen & wait staff and all others that need a good weekend combined with an order from the menu of chocolate chip cookies and milk for the boy and Duke was front row with the Dragon Lady and I watching a Bagpipe, Piano and Harmonica group.  It was wicked awesome!  I’d do it again and I i’d do it for you if you were with us.

I feel the time is coming to see if I can still wear my kilt.  Properly.

Top rock song with bagpipes–AC/DC (of course) “It’s a long way to the top”

Top country song with bagpipes–Steve Earle  “Copperhead Road”     One of the best songs ever.

My favorite song with bagpipes & according to iTunes, my most played song–Dropkick Murphy’s  “Amazing Grace”.

It is dirt dog dry here in paradise.  Cattle market is not getting higher.  I don’t have any bitcoin stock.  The fires have been close but not threatening to Kela’s domain in LaLa land.   Only a matter of days until she comes HOME to visit.  Duke’s cows eat a lot of hay.  Tammy’s mini herfs–not so much.  Wheat pasture isn’t going to hold out much longer for the goats.  Waiting to see how the sesame grades.  Hoping the AI program worked–If ONE sticks it is a success.

And I still don’t like doe goats.

Cheers to you and here’s to hoping that there is nothing but shamrocks and horseshoes for all of you bored enough to read this.   Do me a favor and spark up some “Amazing Grace”.   Your choice as to which one.  Think about it as it plays and I will double dog dare you to be in a bad mood.   They don’t play it at funerals for the deceased.  It’s for the living.

“Get busy living or get busy dying.”

Have a good one and a better tomorrow.

SInce last Friday night, we have been having problems with the mac computer. Lots of pop ups, ads and problems. I called an apple # tonight to try to get this crap fixed. It was a good call.
Now, I am real sure that the dude helping and myself were not born on the same continent. He said that he was in Delaware and that it was snowing. His name was Harry. I am also sure that Harry was not his GOD given name. I don’t know if he was from India or a country nearby, but I recognized the dialect. I also feel confident that the apple genius crew is replaying their recorded version of helping me. It runs both ways.
No matter what the dialect, the race, the religion, whatever, I appreciate people that are good at something. Other than the barrier language, Harry and his helpers were wicked good at fixing a mac computer. They even knew to tell me to “remove your hands from the mouse and keyboard and let me work”.  I did and they did. And yes, it cost me money.
Later this week, the newest Star Wars movie will be released. I have watched a lot of Star Wars stuff over the past 40 years. I have always liked that the story was based on the bible. Good vs Evil with an unseen force. I get it.  I like it.  I will see this new verse of the saga.
However, what just hit me as I was on the phone with Harry, is that Chewbacca is a priest. What?! Yep, a priest. I’ll explain.
We’ve got several Indian priests in the Catholic church in this part of the world. They know their stuff but some, like myself, have a language barrier with them. I get what they are trying to say but it doesn’t always translate to Okie English.
Here’s my point. There is no doubt whose side Chewbacca is on–GOOD. Chewy has no marital ties. He is of a line that there are very few left. There are only a couple of droids and Han Solo that always understand what the hell Chewbacca is saying. Yet, everybody that deals with Chewbacca is willing to follow his words and his actions. And it always works. Chewbacca is always right, always good and is one of the most recognizable movie characters of all-time.
I have been in numerous discussions as to my favorite Star Wars character. Yoda–Is the Pope Catholic? Darth Vader–I like that one a lot! Good and Evil–all in one. Maybe the best movie character of all time is R2D2.  Chewbacca–can’t go wrong. All in the same movies.
And to tie this crap to the goat world—R U READY?! As I dealt with doe goats this evening, there were lots of grunts and growls that sounded like a Wookie in battle. There were terms used that will need a priest and a bible to give me forgiveness. And If I would have had a light saber that actually cuts, I would not have anymore doe goats. I feel the dark side taking over when I am around these absolute horrific beasts. Not even George Lucas could have dreamed up this kind of evil.
At least Harry was decent to deal with. And dealing with him cost less than dealing with does. And I have already seen results from Harry.  Unlike the female goats.

Congratulations to another Shattuck Indian state championship team.  The football boys won Shattuck’s 10th state football championship.  Throw in the Shattuck Lady Indians softball state championship in fast-pitch softball this fall and they are having a gold ball kind of year.  Oh and those Lady Indians also won slow-pitch back in May 2017.  Shattuck already has earned 3 gold balls in 2017.

The scary part is that the basketball teams are dang competitive, baseball came within a game of the state tourney last spring and Shattuck had the 3rd overall golfer last spring.  And the robotics team was 4th in their 4 state regional.  And the choir wins LOTS and LOTS.  And the Speech group wins.  And the FFA is as well rounded as any.

The hardest thing as a teacher in Shattuck is sharing kids.  Very small school.  High expectations.  It is a juggling act.  For the teachers, coaches, ag teacher, administration, parents–all of the above.

Basically, I’m just telling you, we’ve got good kids in Shattuck America.

Did Duke play?  No.  My brother Jake was on Shattuck’s first state title team in ’91 and was all-state in baseball.  Tammy played on Arnett basketball teams that won a lot including the ’89 state runner-up team.  But, this genetic mating managed to not pass any athletic genes to our son.  However, he went to the game.  Which meant that I stayed home to do chores.  Tammy and I listened on the radio.  One of my favorite Ag Mecker kids was named player of the game–Riley Girton–the only senior on the team.  His dad and I graduated high school together.  Small towns rule!

Saturday AM, we will load 28 FFA kids on a bus to go to MFE and ALD in OKC.  Our bus driver will drive to tonight’s game, get home, park the bus at his house, get up and drive these kids to the city.  Yes, his son is going and is a starter on both sides of the line.

Congrats to the kids, school, community and parents for another win.  You can watch the crap on the news or watch the kids in Shattuck America.  We’ve got good kids!

You can sit and think of the best phrases that you have ever heard.  The best should be “I love you.”  Or “Amen.”  And how about “Thank Goodness”.  All of these are wicked good and normally put somebody in a good mood.  BUT….

But, if you live in NW OK, one of the best phrases that you will here is “At least there isn’t any wind with it.”   Which means, “Yeah, sure!  It was butt-ass cold this morning.  It was 14 effing degrees but at least the wind wasn’t blowing 50 fricking miles per hour.”  Basically, this phrase means it could be worse.

And it doesn’t matter what time of year it is.  July—It was only 114 degrees fahrenheit, but….at least there isn’t any wind with it.  Otherwise, we could melt sand into glass and start riding camels.

March/April—Nice day for this time of year.  That means it was a perfect 68 to 77 degrees and AT LEAST THERE WASN’T ANY WIND WITH IT.  Wind speeds were below 32.8 mph.

I guess the best phrase in NW OK should be “I love you too, honey.  Thank Goodness for Okie State beating ou. I will say Amen when I get done cussing the goats, farming, lack of rain, too much rain, kids, etc.  but at least there isn’t any wind.”  Maybe that qualifies as a paragraph.

Peace out!  No wind tonight.  Just cold.  It could be worse.  And in truth, most days could be worse.

Well, those does that we pulled cidrs on yesterday morning were hot tonight.  You can even add another that I thought was bred.  She was hot to trot tonight.

There is a pot pie cooling off for me to eat tonight.  We are counting down the weeks till I can order my favorite turkey pot pie in some major city out west.  Not looking forward to the drive and I didn’t like having to pay for a trailer parking spot AND a fitting area.  All of these shows are learning how to maximize income from every angle.  At some point, enough is enough.  But, I paid it.  Tammy and I started showing with Kela in 2000.  The end is near.

A couple of years ago, I wrote on here about sitting and watching a boy walk his older sister to school each day while holding her hand.  He still does.  There are challenges in their day to day life.  Mine too.  My challenge is too be in a bad mood when this boy is in my classroom.

People, this boy and his good friend are in 2nd hour ag class.  My day is made in this class.  First, it is my small class–2 boys, 2 girls.  All 4 great kids.  Dramatic differences between the 4, but all gr8.

Last week, we loaded up and headed to the vet clinic.  I needed to get some straws of semen checked.  The ladies at the vet clinic entertained us for a bit.  We dug out a straw or two out of the tank, then one of them took it to the back.  She came back with a good report.  Then she asked if the kids wanted to look.  YES!  That is what I had planned.  One of the girls is from successful stock show family, she knew what was happening.  The boys–not so much.

The first one looked and then exclaimed, “There are moving organisms on the slide.  I see moving organisms. ”

The next one took a gander.  He hadn’t looked through many microscopes. A little coaching was in order. Finally, he saw the moving stuff.  But, he didn’t ask what it was….until we got in the pickup.

He asked, “Mr. Kelln what was that squiggly stuff on the microscope?”

I said, “You really don’t know?”  He replied, “NO!”

His buddy said, “That was semen.   I don’t know if it was bull semen, goat semen or what but it swam like semen.  I saw a video on the internet like that.  It was semen.”

Now, he exclaimed, “EEWWWW!!!!  I think I need to wash my glasses off after looking at that.”

Then, we got back to the ag building.  The bell rang for 3rd hour.  The others left.  He waited at the door until nobody was left around.  I said, “You better get your butt to history or Coach will be mad at you.”  He looked twice to make sure the coast was clear and nobody else was around.  Then he told me, “I farted so loud this morning in bed, I woke myself up.”

Of course, I laughed until I cried.  I don’t know whether to feel honored that he told me this or scared that I am going to hear more.  Yes, you are right.  I can’t wait till the next comment from this dude.

This class is so hot, several seniors are already trying to arrange to transfer into it next semester. Not so fast.  These 4 don’t want anybody else.  Rationale–there are 4 seats in the ag pickup.  Can’t argue with that.  The girls are writing an application to be in 2nd hour ag.  There will be an interview process.  I have a feeling that it will be harder to get into Harvard than it will be to join 2nd hour ag in Shattuck, America.

Speaking of kids that are on fire.  How about Addy Schneberger?  She won a state speaking title as a 5th grader.  Several years ago, her dad and I were sitting together the night before the Champion’s Choice jackpot.  She was by herself, talking in different voices, pitches and using enunciation to take orders like she was a waitress.  Her dad was like “WTH are you doing?”  I was like, leave her alone.  Kids that will do that on their own will win speech contests.  I’m glad to know that I was right.  I bet she wins more.

I’ve got to get away from this keyboard.  I smell like a mixture of pig poo, goats, welding fumes, burnt flesh (mine) and I’m burping a pot pie.  Historically, this ain’t a mixture that the Dragon Lady finds as hot.

Have a good one and a better tomorrow.

I, like a lot of people, have watched some of this college football playoff selection crap.  I have no issues with Clemson, ou or Georgia.  I do NOT think that Ohio State or USC have a claim.  They lost too many games and some of them ugly.

My problem, is why not Wisconsin?  I’m not a fan of theirs or their schedule.  But they only lost one game, in a conference championship game and they played close.  Alabama is only there by reputation and that is it.  Now, having said that, Alabama is capable of winning it all.  They have their opportunity and I wouldn’t bet against that coach.  As for the playoffs, I am now a Georgia fan.  Go Dawgs!  And then Clemson.  The other 2—well, either can win it but I hope not.

I watched some Facebook videos on this fine evening.  I re-watched that bad donkey video of a jaguar swimming up and grabbing a caiman on shore.  That video is bad ass.

I also watched a video of Mike Leach discussing the college football playoff committee.  Watch it.  He’s right.  I think that Coach Leach and I have a lot in common.  We really don’t care what other people think, we are both usually right and most really don’t want to listen to either of us.  Probably, because we are both usually right, somewhat irreverent and sometimes there is some controversy or another.  Now, hold on smart asses.  I know that he isn’t seen as a winner.  And we aren’t going to list resumes but there are very few that want to measure.  And although Mike Leach hasn’t won a big one, he has taken two different mediocre programs to consistent winning seasons.  He has influenced a lot of other coaches including several that are going to bowls.  Big Bowls–such as playoff bowls.

Think about this.  You have to get a program going.  You cannot hire Nick Saban, Dabo Swinney, Urban Meyer, Mark Dantonio, Gary Patterson or any retired coaches.  This dude will get things rolling and then keep it up.  I probably wouldn’t trade Gundy for Leach.  But in a one game scenario, I wouldn’t bet against Leach.  In a 10 game series, I’ll take Gundy.

Duke hauled some calves to the Woodward Livestock Auction last week.  The check came in the mail today.  We sat and went over the expenses deducted from the check–commission, insurance, feed, vet and checkoff.  When we dropped the calves off, I told Duke that I thought that he could get X $s.  We were within $50 of that total.  I was hoping for more but he will take it.  Especially, since he has a keeper bull on feed and 5 keeper heifers that are currently getting bred.  Pay the bills and build the herd.

I needed to pull cidrs and give lut shots at 9 am this morning.  So, I loaded the does up and took to school.  At 8:55 am, the 8th graders had finished their sheep breed ID test.  So, we went outside to the trailer, caught does, gave shots and pulled cidrs.  Nobody got pooter juice on them.  It was good.  2nd hour, we road-tripped to Fargo, unloaded does and changed pickups.

And tonight, it is a windy SOB.  Duke and I stood in the big barn with a couple of cool dudes telling stories, showing pics on phones and discussing life.  It was good.  Real good.

In comparison, my day was probably better than yours.

Uncle Jeffy Spake came by to wish Duke happy 17th birthday.  He even helped blow out candles.  But, this is November 30 and Duke’s birthday isn’t till the 1st.   They talked about some Fire Rocket chickens.  It took me a bit to clue in.  I think Uncle Spake had some ulterior motives.

Speaking of stories, had a gentleman here dropping off does to get bred.  He asked Duke about welding projects. Then he had a story or two about welding.  Nuclear welding.  Huge projects with a 1/4″ bolt holding them in place–Government specs!

Had a great 2nd hour Ag Class today.  Wicked Fun!

I have a few.  And dang neart everyone of them are real, from real life experiences.  Some of them are just too good to be true.  You just can’t make some stuff up.

Tammy and I recently had a family friend pass away from cancer.  He wasn’t young, his family was prepared and  the end came fairly quick.  I’m not going to use names but there will be those who know who I am writing about.  This family is one of those small-town local legends that make communities great.  I have several stories that involve this family.  Great people!

My favorite story with this particular dude consists of me taking a group of ag mecker boys to the local lumber yard about 13 or 15 years ago. It was probably 8:42 AM.  The boys walked in with me in tow.  I was greeted by the proprietor.   He knew every kid and every kid’s parent and grandparent.  Nothing said was inappropriate.  But, I was still caught off guard by the following question.

In a slow kind-of drawl, he said, “Hey Mr. Kelln, do you know what a man with a 12 inch pEn!$ has for breakfast?”  I shook my head and said, “No! No, I do not know what that guy has for breakfast.”

He said, “Well, I had pancakes and bacon and eggs.”   Those kids went to laughing.  I laughed.  He laughed.  And I still laugh thinking about this.  Fittingly enough, his first name was Richard.

Ironically, the Dragon Lady has cooked breakfast for supper tonight.  Sausage, bacon, home-grown eggs and blue-berry pancakes.  I sit here at this keyboard, laughing.  It is as it should be.  RIP.