You have to have it?  You don’t want to write the check but you know you need it.   It’s the law to have it for a vehicle collision.  There are some effed up laws that deal with health insurance.  Life insurance?  Who? Me?

Judging from tv commercials, either these insurance companies are making a crap-pile of cash OR it is a very competitive market-place and hyper-productive advertising is a needed must.  Think about it.  Every fourth commercial is some kind of insurance.   The other commercials are some kind of pop/fast food/beer or some kind of drug with a long list of side effects or hard on pills.

progressive–Flo–yes, we all know these commercials

Aflac–a duck.  Yes, a duck.  But you know it.

Allstate–mayhem.  Yep, that dude from Law & Order: SVU.

LiMu–maybe the worst commercials, YET I know who has the retarded emu with the dude with bad sunglasses and a bad mustache.  It’s like they came to the party late but are making up for it and somehow, we all know their commercials.  2#A5efgb v

GEICO–that damn british sounding gecko.  It makes ZERO sense but we all know that lizard.   A talking lizard seems plausible but one with an old English accent?!???  Check out what geico stands for.  Google it.

State Farm–Jake from State Farm

Nationwide–Peyton Manning & Brad Paisley

The General–Shaq and some crapy cartoon general character

Farmer’s Insurance–That psychiatrist dude (Skoda)   from Law & Order that “Knows a thing or two because we’ve seen a thing or two.”

Blue Cross/Blue Shield–so many people have them for health insurance that they don’t have to have a decent ad slogan.

Whew!!!  Looks like somebody hit Friday evening a bit hard.  The keyboard as well as other things.

Friday evening found me washing, drying and shearing goats–all by myself.  This should not happen again.  I’m good washing, or drying or shearing but all of the above is not a good mix.  I was good on the two wethers but then doe kids…Have I mentioned that I do not like dealing with doe kids.

Saturday morning found me giving shots of lut and placing CIDrs in does.  This actually went well.  I crowded all 34 does into a tight alley.  Then caught each, individual doe, and haltered her.  Clipped her to the fence and did the job.  Took me three times as long as it should have, BUT… no blow ups.  Learning how to do things all by myself.

Saturday evening found us at the OYE futurity sale.  I took 2 wethers.  I really like this pair of wethers.   They didn’t set any record sales prices but they went to good homes.  I’m actually stoked about how things went.  Tyke’s pair of red wethers didn’t bring what they should have.  So, I bought the best one.  I didn’t have an order for another wether.  But, some kid will be happy come March.  My 15 + years of experience in the goat industry has taught me that if a goat looks the part, and the budget is right, own it, feed it and it will turn out fine.  It’s those high $ bastards that we all lose sleep over.

Thank you to the OYE staff, specifically Kass Newell and her crew for managing this sale.  It is held at the Heritage Place (wicked impressive horse sale facility) –free of charge.  Jason Spence flew to OKC to cry this auction.  (Free of charge)  Sure, it is a 15% commission sale, but they do a good job of making the futurity worth the while.  Thanks to you people that put this deal on.

Sunday morning found me attending Mass…on time.  Then, tagging a newborn calf.  Then eating a bowl of cocoa puffs.  Then digging meat out of the freezer to send to Stillwater.  Korbyn was home and needed to reload.  THEN, I took a nap.  Hells2the YEAH!  I took a nap.  Slobber and all.  Then, I headed to the ag building.

When I left the ag building, I stopped at Mom & Dad’s.  She was making fresh Bierox.  I couldn’t eat one.  Why?  The Dragon Lady had a roast cooking.  A bad ass beef roast permeates the entire house with the smell….for hours.  It was already in my brain.  I listened to recent travel stories of Poland, Czech Republic and Austria.  Smelled fresh baked Bierox, I did.  I went into a bit of a haze.  I kind of remember Dad talking about weaning weights and bull EPDs.  This pasture averaged this and or that.   I felt like a crack addict at a 12 step meeting.  I don’t know how to shoot up but there is a roast beef with carrots and taters waiting….Wait, what….something about a bourbon sample deal in Kentucky with a limo and fancy suits.  I can’t focus.  Bierox….roast beef….bourbon, but I didn’t have any of it.  The bourbon that is.

Oh heck yeah!  I ate roast beef, carrots & taters.  I’ve never been to Amsterdam or an opium den in some Asian town but I understand fighting urges and chasing addictions.  When I graduated high school in 1989, I was 5’9″ and 186 lbs and had a 29″ waist.   Now, I am almost 5’9″ and I weighed 190.2 lbs on the digital scales at Ellis County Animal Hospital this past Friday and I can wear anywhere from a 33″ to a 34″ waist line in shorts and I don’t even want to wear jeans or slacks.  Nothing fits quite right.  Nobody makes any clothes for a typical Schneider build.  Not long, kind of square, round in the middle and it damn sure better be square and measured right.

I’ve overdosed on roast beef.  Bad ass!!   I’m going to step away from the keyboard.  Have a good one and a better tomorrow.

More than several years ago, while teaching at Waynoka, there was a student that had similar tastes in baseball teams that I did.  Yep, the St. Louis Cardinals.  He grew up feeding cows with his grandpa while listening to Cardinals games on the radio.  It was a family deal.  Like many others in this part of the world, that radio connection is what made the fan base for the Cardinals that continues today.  That, and they are always in contention and they also might be the very best run professional team in all of sports.  I digress.

This kid is one of the best students that I have ever had.  I mean wicked good kid that has gone on and done well.  He came from a great family and now, he in turn is raising a great family.  I will not rank my top students because I have been so, so fortunate to be around so, so many great ones.

Several years ago, there was a conglomeration of some of my very best students and they asked, “Kelln, who is your best student ever?”  I choked back a bit, thought just a second and answered, “That would have to be a girl named Kela Kelln.”  At that time, Duke had not been a student of mine for long.  Those very intelligent kids nodded their heads and replied, “Good answer, Kelln.”  They knew me well enough that my answer just bought me a reprieve.  Several of those kids would have been in the running for damn sure. My head starts spinning thinking about all of those kids accomplishments.  And I can dang neart tear up a bit as I think about how well they have done in the game called adult life.

Back in 2001, there was a rookie for the Cardinals that was ripping up the big leagues.  I mean, tearing it up like we hadn’t seen in awhile.  I remember the first time that I heard his name.  I felt kind of like a middle school kid–they said….what.  That almost sounds dirty.  That dude is still playing today.

So, one day that summer, this student and I are looking at cattle and talking reasons.  We had the radio turned to a sports talk deal.  They mentioned this player.  This young man said, “Mr.  Kelln, that name almost sounds dirty but he is so good.”

I laughed and that started a game that he and I played for a bit.  Words that sound dirty but really aren’t.

The player:  Albert Pujols.   Sure, it sounds like pooh-holes.  Some of the other words that came up are: booby–that word is used in a lot of different areas.  You can be a booby, have a pair of them, there is even a bird or two named after a booby.  Liederhosen was a favorite.  I have worn a kilt (properly) but I have never wore a set of liederhosen.  I need to go to Oktoberfest in the mother-land and wear some liederhosen while acting like a booby.

I have written before about the things that go on in an ag vehicle on an agventure.  Coaches have the same kind of stories.  Yesterday, I had a new word to add to the list of not dirty but sounds like it.

Weenis, or weenus.  I don’t remember seeing this word on the spelling bee list.  But it is dang sure on google and wikipedia.  I did not know that this is the loose skin at the end of your elbow joint.  “Take your hands off of my weenus”.   That phrase just don’t seem right.  You want to make it worse?   Just google weenis.  How about that?  Googling a weenus sounds like something that could get you probation and a restraining order.

On a different note with the same batch of kids.  We took two suburban loads to OKC.  We left at 6 am and returned back to Shattuck after 7 pm.  They cleaned the trash out of the suburbans, then each one of them told Mrs. Abbey and I, “Thank You for taking us.”

You people can just sit at home and watch those absolute worthless debates with those boobies and pooh-holes making all of their fake promises.  Those dumb asses (there is another one of those words) might as well have been wearing liederhosen and giving out free cell phones.    Watch cnn or fox.  Do what you gotta do.  I do not care about the fake crap going on in the media and in politics.  You waste your time as you see fit.  But, as for me and my house, we will be dealing with those that matter.  Yes, we’ll keep dealing with kids.  They aren’t worried about the propaganda of global warming, car farts, blue or red states, semantics of what somebody said on a social media deal, etc. etc. etc.  I suggest that you do the same.  Go sub at your local school.  Volunteer to help a teacher, coach, school, county agent, whatever word(s) you want to use, I don’t care.  Go help.  Write a check if you have to.  Or better yet, give some time.  Help tie this next generation to the real world.  Don’t let social media, radio or tv be their link to the “real” world.  Show them the real world.  They listen.  If you act like a puss-n-boots, they will treat you like a puss (is that puss like, from a wound or a cat or…)

Over the years, I’ve known  subs that are retired, don’t need the work, but are wicked awesome… who have told a turd kid, “Sit down and shut up you little bastard.”

The kid responded, “You can’t talk to me like that!”

The response, “Sure I can.  I’m related to your mother.  I know that I’m right and she already gave me permission to slap you in the back of the head.  What are they going to do…fire me?”   Appropriate…henh?!  Effective.  Yes. Welcome to the real world.

Take a neighbor kid to dinner.  Teach them the value of a medium rare steak.  Show them why, sometimes, there are more than 1 fork at a place setting.  Why is a $1 tip not enough?

We will continue to discuss dirty words like work ethic, politeness, promptness, dressing for the job, responsiblity and respect.  If they bring it up, we will talk politics (dang sure a dirty word), religion (I don’t care what you believe, just don’t tell me how to believe) or maybe the value of a pork chop, ribeye, gilled salmon or an old fashioned brake check while the mouthy kid is dozing off in the middle seat of a suburban.  I told you to buckle up.

The US of A is not falling apart.  The INFO NOW media makes it seem that way.  The infrastructure is still there.  I’m in the trenches and kids aren’t all bad.  Different than I was as a kid, yes.  Bad….HECK NO!  They are probably better.  They are aware of the land mines, they just need somebody to show them the way.  Are there problem kids, families, situations….hell yes, there is.  But there has always been.  I can tell you without a doubt, kids today are smarter than I was when I was that age.  They also don’t know what to do with all of that info that they have acquired.  They want to do right.  And given the opportunity, they normally make the right decision.

Don’t stand by and watch your town or school melt into the dang sure dirty words.  Step up.  Be a neighbor.  A citizen.  Hell, just be an American and don’t let it happen. You don’t have to use foul language.  Just do something.  Don’t just sit somewhere and bitch (oh yeah, female dog is fine but use it the other ways and …..)

Yeah,  at dang neart five decades old, I’m still learning terms like weenus.  I bet you googled it just to see if I was right.  Yeah, I know.  I did to.  And, I am right.  I learned it from 8th graders on the way home from a livestock judging contest.  However, it does not sound right.

Get kids out to your farm.  No matter the animals, the acreage, the crop…. get them out there.  Don’t let them lose touch.  The media and the politicians are in control if we let kids lose hold of what’s real.  What is real you ask?  Work, dirt, meat, grass, ethics, pick another word.   My old buddy Ron Simonson knows what I’m talking about.  Jason Spence can wax poetic about it and find a way to make a dollar from it.  Those people in the most productive agricultural region in the world, a little place called California get it.  Right?  For sure they do.  From the Dakotas to that whole other country called Texas, they all get it.  Don’t let some bastards and bitches (used properly?) oh yes!   that use the media, internet and fear mongering control your thoughts about the next generation.

I don’t care if both of you loyal readers ( or all of you others that can be tracked by your IEP accounts–yeah, it’s scary the info that can be had for just a couple of dollars a month.  It’s fun to see who clicks on here numerous times a day just to see if I wrote something.  And in case you were wondering, cell phones are just as/or easier to track as any given computer.)  No matter where we are at, anymore, we are being tracked.  Just reach out to your local school, 4H, FFA or athletic teams.  Make the connection from pasture to plate.

As I proof-read this post, I’m like dude, this one is long, it’s close enough to the point.  If they don’t get the jist of this, they are eating crayons.  But, I’m still like, that dude is going to the hall-of -fame but the name Pujols still makes me grin when I hear it.

I had lots of cool, new stuff to write about today.  But, this post is not cool.  I hauled projects to the State Fair of Oklahoma on Wednesday.  On this Thursday morning, I left Shattuck early with a couple suburbans full of 8th & 10th grade livestock judgers.  While driving back to OKC, I started getting texts.  I didn’t read them till I stopped.  I did not like what I was seeing.  Jordan Fledderjohan had been killed in a car wreck.  DANG!!!  Not the kind of news that I like.

I don’t have a bunch of buddy stories.  I just always looked forward to talking to Jordan and his dad, Clark.  Jordan was always brash, loud, very confident, wanting to win a goat show, pissed when he didn’t win, passionate about raising and showing good stock, always willing to help a kid improve their showmanship and feeding programs.   On a side note, he was always looking for the next cold one.  Kind of reminds me of someone else.  Probably why we always got along.

I enjoyed talking genetics and judges with him.  Of course, you probably didn’t want children in our presence when the two of us were cussing and discussing.  The American Royal of 2015 found Jordan’s crew and my crew stalled next to each other.  There was a complete dead day of NO activities.  So, we talked goats and cussed goats and one thing led to another.  Some of you will remember that somebody dared me to ride my little dolly cart down the ramp from the upper level to the bottom.  I didn’t want to do it, but the challenge had been put forth.  I rode that damn thing and held up my end.  I held on to the cart with both hands.  People were cheering and laughing.  I drug that thing back to the top and rolled it at him.  He held up his end.  He didn’t ride it.  He OWNED it!  He rode it one handed while the other hand held an open cold bottle of beverage.  We all cheered and laughed.  The next day, one of his girls showed the grand overall wether and one of our girls showed the reserve grand overall wether.  We both agreed that we would gladly ride a cart down a ramp in order to gather a banner or two.

Prayers to his parents, family and friends.  The industry lost a truly passionate goater that could raise em, feed em and show em.  I was looking forward to the possibility of Jordan judging major shows in upcoming years.  I think that would have been interesting.  Oh well.  His legacy in the goat industry will continue for years to come.  Cheers!!

Yes, today was as busy as expected.  Maybe even busier.  We have over 110 kids in ag classes.  That makes for a lot of fair entries when we assign it as a project.  Some of the older kids didn’t have their projects done.  My fault, not theirs.  I try to buy most everything in Shattuck but can’t get everything.  So, I have to journey to Woodward at times for parts.   I made that journey today and back when football practice got over.  Worked at the ag shop with kids until 7:30.  Couldn’t hear my phone ring—grinders, welders, crap talking and music.  Actually real cool deal.  Projects done–zero.  But they are close to finishing.

We have every 8th grader–all 26 of them.  This class will be the end of my teaching career or I will go another 5 years to finish this job.  (If need be, I can put odds on which it is and we can start a pool.)  Great kids but WHOAAA Nelly!!  They are a handful.  The middle school teachers didn’t adore this class.  And we have them all 1st hour.  Yes sir!   Let’s get the day rolling.

Three of these 8th graders competed in the hog calling contest.  One of them also competed in the hot dog eating contest.  He held his own with the senior boys.  I warned the upper classmen about this group.  I warned the community.  Let’s just say that it is a diverse class.

We have the BEST custodian that takes care of the ag building.  She is wicked, bad ass good at her job.  I mean one of the best at cleaning that I have ever witnessed.  Her personal pickup shines.  Our room stays clean.  She even mops part of the shop.  Did I mention she also makes some bad ass tamales?

She was mopping before 1st hour started.  An 8th grade boy looked in the front door and said “Missed a spot.”  She went to looking for the missed spot.  Mrs. Abbey said, “You did not miss a spot.  Don’t listen to that little terrorist.”

She said, “Ever since he come to middle school, he tell me that I miss a spot no matter where I am mopping–bathroom, classroom, everywhere.  I always have to remop to make sure I no miss a spot.”

Mrs. Abbey then said, “That turd is pulling your leg.  You can hit him with the mop.  His parents will back you up.”  I agreed.  I like that kid but he is just being a turd.  And yes, his parents will back you up.

Fast forward to the next day.   All the 8th graders trolled into class.  All except one.   I asked where is he.  One of the girls said, “He went into the bathroom in the middle school right as the bell rang.  He said something like “You missed a spot.”  Then he slipped, squalled and was flat on his back whining for help.”

Oh yeah!   I was laughing.  It was that kid that had been teasing the custodian for years about missing a spot, when she hadn’t and he slipped and busted his ass.  Where did he slip?  On a spot that she had NOT missed, right next to the wet floor sign.  Yes, I laughed hard.  The 8th grade girls acted shocked.  “Aren’t you worried?”

NOOOOO!  People, that is what you call KARMA!   And guess who came marching into class at that point.  I looked at him, shook my head and said, “Dude, you had it coming didn’t ya?”  He looked at me, shook his head and said, “Yeppers.  I had that one coming.”  I only wish she would have hit him with the mop instead of him just busting his ass.

This summer, I visited an Amish greenhouse in Stillwater.  I grabbed a wood box near the checkout stand.   I slid the lid open and then…..HOLY EFFING, SON OF GOD, SACK OF MONKEY CRAP!!!!!!!!!!!!!   Yeah, I came uncorked with the spider that came out of the lid and hits you in the hand.  No, those were not the words that I used.  I felt obligated to buy that crappy little box (which I thought held SEEDS)  after I blasphemed their entire business.

So, I put it in the classroom and have had some fun.  But not as much fun as one of the kids that labeled the box as CANDY.  He took it across the street to an older female teacher and asked her “Do you want to see the candy box that I built for the county fair?”  She said yes and WOW!!  Thankfully another student videoed this deal.  Way fewer cuss words than what I used in the Amish greenhouse.  I think it is safe to say that I have gotten my $14.95 worth of entertainment out of that dang box.  I have heard talk that the kids have a list of possible targets.  However, I do not think that it is my duty to stop them.

We get a lot of work done, more than most.  But there always needs to be time for some laughter.  For a decade and a half, I had fun at most goat shows.  The last couple of years have not been as much fun as I think that they should have been.  Maybe, just maybe, I’m old.  Nope.  I am older, wiser and been around a bit.  They weren’t as much fun as they should have been.  I can’t fix everything that is not right in the goat world, but I can dang sure control my end.  Time to have fun.

Some weeks are just busier than others.  Shattuck FFA held their now annual Ag Olympics on Tuesday night. Lots of excited kids as well as parents and community people that came to watch.  The hog calling contest was off the charts fun.

Just to give you an idea of how important this event is to the kids and school–Shattuck is a bit of a football school.  Currently defending state champions, a national record winning streak and home to 11 state titles.  We had a scheduling conflict with a jr. high football game.  How did Shattuck schools handle it?  They canceled the football game.

We also had a deal that had to be submitted to nationals by Tuesday, some state fair entry due dates and a state FFA due date.

Now throw in the Ellis County Fair is this week.  We won’t show a pile of animals this time of year.  However, it is an assignment for every student to enter a project of some sort.  This was assigned weeks ago and in typical fashion, there are some kids in panic mode trying to finish them up this week.  And just for added measure, we also run the concession stand at the fair.

I needed to CIDr up some does but have yet to find time to do that.  But it is on my radar to get a few bred for Feb. babies.

Have a good one.

I have zero cool stories for the day.  Wednesday night ended a bit rough, no supper and late to bed.  I didn’t eat lunch on Wednesday either.  However, I ate a dang good big breakfast at Ed’s Cafe on hump day morning.

I woke up early (as usual), did chores, ate a piece of cantaloupe and headed to work.  The day did not improve.  I’ve got a crew of boys that are trying to build a project or two.  One of the MIG welders had crapped the bed.  I worked on it, tried to check settings, wouldn’t work.  Called AirGas.   They talked me through some tests.  Heck boys, we are just going to be short a welder for a day or so.  That slugged the whole day in the shop. It happens.  Nobody’s fault.  Not fun.  Welcome to the real world.

Dealt with 8th graders.  All 26 of them in one class.  There are 26 kids in the 8th grade class in Shattuck America.  Yep, we’ve got them all for a 2nd year in a row.  Good problem to have.  There is a crew of boys and a separate crew of girls in this class that will make us look really good or make me quit teaching.  I like this class but it’s kind of like grabbing the halter of a spirited calf.  Hold on and see which way we get pulled.  We might need a nose ring or two.

We have over 110 kids in class. Not bad for a school that plays 8 man football.  Actually, we have over 90% of the student population in grades 8-12 in ag ed class.

Athletics is always on everyone’s radar in Shattuck.  Softball, baseball, even basketball.  Oh, and they also play football.  I don’t live and breathe by sports but I like and respect it.  Nine kids in Duke’s graduating class (out of 30) are on scholarship at a juco or 4 year school playing either football, softball or baseball.  Two of our current seniors are already signed to play D1 baseball.  Both at big time baseball schools.  Let’s just say that Tammy and I are looking forward to driving to Stillwater or Lubbock to watch a baseball game or three.

Sometimes, during the day, you just have to stop what is on your personal priority list, take a breath, and ask a kid or kids, what’s going on.  They will never disappoint.  You have NO idea what is getting ready to come out of their mouths.  Often, it is funny.  Other times, they just need a place to vent.  Very rarely do they say something that is wrong, disrespectful or just plain wrong.  Kids have a lot on their minds and don’t always have a place to let loose.

Today, I was one of those kids.  I was close to blowing up over Tulsa online entries.  I was close to shorting out over a crap-the-bed welder.  I was nearing boiling point on schedules and due dates and …and….and…   Let’s just leave it that I was close to going all Kelln on something or somebody.   But, I didn’t.  Instead, I let the kids take over.  And I was not disappointed.  Somehow, the day went from sour to better to oh, heck yeah!

We don’t have freezer space at the house.  We only have 3 freezers but they are all full.  BUT….BUT…. JQ Kelln had a couple of BEEVES killed, hung, cut and wrapped.  ( I always liked how the old timers said it.)  I’ll empty a dang freezer to make room for beef from dad.  That dude pays attention, picks out the top steers each year and then feeds the heck out of them.  Healthy grandkids come from healthy beef.  Yes sir!  Thank you and Friday night will be the grilling of the first ribeye steaks.  Why?  Duke will be home for the first time.  Momma will feed her baby well.

The manager of AirGas called back and made a personal trip to Shattuck to check the welder.  He brought parts and was able to fix it.  He looked around the shop, realized how damn many $s worth of equipment that we have bought from them.  And checked out projects.  Send me that repair bill because I am in the mood to pay for it.

A kid that is not a stellar shop hand finished an assignment.  Great kid but not mechanically inclined.  He finished his first actual project.  Not perfect but dang sure good enough.  He was pumped, the other kids were surrounding him to check his welds and congratulate him.  It was a cool moment.

And then I had a haircut appointment at 4.  I don’t look any better but I feel damn good.  I wish I knew if wethers felt good or just naked after we shear them.  Doe kids feel good after getting a trim.

Goat chores done.  Checked cows.  An old-school kool-aid, “Oh yeah!”  (Yes, you old turds can hear it–OH YEAH!)   Some of them are starting to bag down.  I need to CIDr some does and get ready to breed a few.  Bucks are on the feeder pounding that Special K ration.  And they stink to high heaven. That’s a good thing.  Stinky bucks are fertile bucks.

Today wasn’t a fun day.  Don’t know exactly how it all works.  I don’t even question it.  Today was a shit day but it was better than yesterday.  And I am ending it in a good mood.  There were trials, tests and things that made me want to kick the crap out of the nearest trash can.  But somehow, the sun set on this day, and I would have to say it ended up being an absolutely stellar day on the calendar.

I hope your day was good and tomorrow will be even better.  Cheers!

How about this stuff?  Back2Back posts on the same night.

I’ve never been truly hungry.  Sure, I’ve missed a meal but my brothers and I, nor our kids have never been truly hungry.  Our parents and grandparents always made sure that the kids had a good meal.  We might not have gotten the new toy or the cool clothes but we have always had high quality nourishment put in front of us.

However, some of that stuff…..dudes, I’ve never been hungry enough to like cooked spinach or stuffed bell peppers or raw tomatoes.

I grew up with a Granny that liked to cook for family and people, yet she wasn’t a good cook.  Worst hamburgers ever.  Burnt steaks.   U0mph!   But she made the BEST gravy ever!   Looking back, that bad ass gravy made up for a whole bunch of common food.  I miss Granny but it wasn’t her cooking that I remember fondly.

On the other side, my Grandma Schneider was used to cooking for 5 sons plus others.  Large quantities and a wicked dessert.  I’m at an age where I am thinking that maybe I need to try to re-create the beef short ribs on sauerkraut.

Growing up, my brothers and I were spoiled.  Our mother was and is a bad ass cook.  Steaks, burgers…not so much.  But everything else.  Bierox.  Noodles & budeglase.  Roast Beef.  Pies!  Pies!    Oh my the pies!  Bread rolls.  Desserts like kuchen and frog-eye salad.  Main courses like prime rib and grilled salmon.  OOHH!!!   I’m not much of a chicken eater but the grand kids line up for her fried chicken.  Hot or cold, they crave it.

When I got married, the Dragon Lady could cook a mean lasagna.  That’s it.  That is a story best told while sitting on a bucket.  She got pissed at me and talked to my mom and now…..the Dragon Lady is wicked good.  I’ll pay money for a helluva steak but she holds her own.  She and her dad, for several years now, grill the steaks for Christmas dinner.  I stay out of the way and wait with ready plate, fork and knife.  Chicken fried steak….wicked.  And she doesn’t cook them very often but the egg rolls are awesome.

Tonight, I ate a plate of egg rolls then walked into the kitchen and there is a fresh PEACH pie that has my mother’s carvings in the crust.  If I die tonight, I will pass as a well fed, happy soul.

Riches, I do not desire when I have tastes such as these.  And as I get ready to end this post, I am glancing towards the kitchen.  And there by the stove, sitting in rows upon the rock ledge, are glass jars that embody a color far greater than the very best ruby that ever existed on this Earth.  I can only anticipate the flavor that is held within these glass containers.  It is not every year that nature yields a harvest that provides such a flavorful palate.  But this is that year.  Shall it be a biscuit or merely a piece of toast that will be the carrier of such a flavor.  Oohh!  I look forward to the morning as I am going to pop the seal of one of these jars of Sand Plum Jelly.  Ass chewing be damned!  I will eat some of this goodness!

That is a statement that I like hearing.  This worthwhile bit of reading will involve a whole bunch of stuff that all leads back to “I’m right.”  I may not be completely right but it will be hard to argue.

Listening to the XM radio this evening and a song came on from a country band.  I listened to it and then changed stations.  The same band was on with a different song from a different decade.  DANG DUDES!  Is Alabama the greatest country band of all time?  I say hells yeah!  I have never seen them in concert but those cats could play for 3 hours and every song be a top 3 hit.  Years ago, I met the Randy Owen at a national polled hereford show.  Dude was just like anybody else that was there.  Regular guy that liked good livestock and hoped his daughter did well at the show.  No flash.  Just cool.  I don’t have many regrets but I would like to see them in concert.

Best television series of all time is Law & Order: SVU.  I like the original but the SVU series is better.  They are getting ready to debut the 21 season of this series.  And a lot of the original characters are still there.  One in particular–Mariska Hargitay.  I will argue that she is the best TV actress of all-time.  If you want to argue, well, then you would be wrong.  Some ass clown will text me that Jennifer Aniston is the best.  Smoking hot!  Yes.  But, she has been more of a movie star since Friends ended.  Mariska is 21 years into a TV series.  I’m right!   If you don’t already know, google Mariska Hargitay’s mother.  She was kind of a big deal in her own right.

Goat feeds.  It does not matter what you feed, it is how you feed it.  I’ve dealt with several high profile feed companies over the years.  I’ve also had my own label.  It is a kind-of-not-for-profit deal but I get what I want at a fair price.  I’ve done numerous feed trials with several state universities.  Results are always the same.  You need clean, clear water.  Salt blocks.  At least 2 days per week of high roughage grass hay and goats will always eat more being limit fed than compared to a self feeder.  I’m right.  I don’t care what color of bag of feed that you are using.  I can teach you how to feed properly.  AND most additives are NOT needed.  Sound, proper, BASIC nutrition still always applies.  We all want that magic feed additive and legally speaking, it still doesn’t exist.  Good genetics, proper nutrition and a well balanced exercise program will go a long way.  Ask your expert.  They can’t argue.  But they will push you to buy the newest snake oil that they get a kick-back from.  I’m right and we ALL know it.  But, I too have been guilty of trying an additive or three, just in case.

Greatest American rock band of all time is…..well, I like Metallica and Motley Crue and will not argue if you bring up Lynyrd Skynyrd  but this title has to go to Aerosmith.  I saw them in 1990 and they put on a wicked, bad donkey show.  They were fresh out of rehab at that time.  Duke saw them in Vegas this summer–29 years later.  They only had one #1 hit but they had SO, SO many bad ass tunes.  I like “Back in the Saddle”.  “Dream On ” is iconic.  “Sweet Emotion”  is a classic that still holds its own with today’s kids.

I recently heard a story about the cool tune “Dude looks like a lady”.  How bad ass is that song?  First, it was a hit.  Two, you know the song, almost 30 years later.  Three, Robin Williams used it in Mrs. Doubtfire.  And four–they wrote that song, then changed it to “Cruising for the ladies”.  A producer said that was too common.  They then told why they wrote the original, “Dude looks like a lady”.  They were in a bar and there was a smoking hot blonde at the end of the bar.  Big, 80’s hair.  Then, Steven Tyler and Joe Perry realized that it was a lead singer from a different band.  It was Vince Neil from the Crue.  Dude looked like a lady.  Great song.  Best ever?  Nope.

I like “Walk this Way.”  I still use the stupid, dad kind of line when walking kids through the shop for a safety test.  “Let’s all make like Aerosmith and Walk This Way.”  And according to Duke and Alex, that is the song that they are closing their 2019 shows.

I like selling private treaty.  It is funner to match a goat to a showman.  I am sure that I have left money on the table but I like what we have done thus far.  We will see how it works out this spring.

I don’t care what state you are in.  Follow genetics, don’t follow banners. Learn the genetics and the feed that is available in your area.  Learn how the genetics fit your program and then pursue that course.  It is not about a name, a jock or a judge (it can be but shouldn’t be)  I’m right and I know it.

One of the coolest names ever in a movie is:   Larvell Jones.  Monsignor Larvell Jones.  Monsignor Larvell Jones M.D.  And if you know that off the top of your head, I will call B.S.  Kratzer don’t you dare google that crap and text me like you knew the right answer.  The movie came out in 1984, yes, the year that George Orwell wrote a book about.  But, trust me, there wasn’t much thought put into this movie.  But I liked it.  So did a bunch of other people.  So many that they made 7, yes, SEVEN movies.  I’ve only seen 3 of them.  And this guy was in all 7 movies.  Once you clowns google it, you will be like, “Oh yeah!  I know that dude.”

PS (officially I am done writing as the word count for all of the above is reading 999.  That is awfully cool.  I actually typed something else but the spell check changed it to “awfully” cool.  I’m right but I will leave it.

Most under-rated artists of all time.  Huey Lewis & the News.  Restless Heart.  John Michael Montgomery.  Heart.

I’m right and I know it.  If I wasn’t right, I wouldn’t be typing this crap and I would be reading your blog instead.

Coming soon:  good livestock people.

Hee Haw!!   One of the coolest shows EVER!   We need to do this life deal and have fun doing it.  Thank GOD for what we’ve got.  For the most part, we are all better off than the rest of the world.  It could always be worse.  Shamrocks and Horseshoes.  Have a good one and a better tomorrow.  I’m going to and……..I’m right.

I have had a lot of experience selling lots of stuff.  Livestock, equipment, etc.  Face2Face, online, social media, phone sales, cash sales, check, finance, PO, whatever, I’ve done it.  As an ag teacher, I am constantly selling the “why you need to do this” to our future leaders.  Not much money in it, but it is very satisfactory to the soul to see a kid learn to speak, weld, learn where their food comes from, find success, etc.

Tonight, I sold some stuff.  A local dude had hit me up a couple of weeks ago.  “Hey, if you know where a 5 or 6′ brush beater is, that is cheap, let me know.”    My reply, “Heck, I’ve got one.”

What was the next question?  Come on. Come on.   Yep, you are right.   “How much you want for it?”

Well,  I know and like the guy.  And he has and will continue to do solid favors for me, especially at the school.  So, I priced it at $400.  He called tonight and came to look.  This brush beater has one issue–the driveline has a hitch in it.  He had a trailer with him, I don’t have to worry about the money, I don’t have to fix the problem–$300.  He then hit me up about a 3 pt box blade.  Excellent shape.  Don’t use it, don’t need it anymore.  It is too small for my tractors.  It will fit his.  I priced it.  Did I mention that he had a trailer?  We loaded both items.

No hassle.  No commission.  No problems.  No time wasted.  Move the product.

Any of you that have ever spoken to me about my time running a John Deere dealership has probably heard me tell stories about selling lawn mowers.  I hate selling those bastards.  No money on ’em and people wasted my time with them.  If somebody came to talk to me about a $300,000 tractor, they were serious and the deal wouldn’t take long.  A lawn mower, well hell, they might just be bored on a Saturday morning and testing the waters for when they buy a new lawn mower 2 effing years from now.  They could eat up 2 hours of a Saturday morning, asking questions that they could look up online and then hit you up for a free hat, even though they didn’t buy a fricking lawn mower.

I hate lawn mowers.  Which explains why the Dragon Lady has a bad ass 4WD, diesel, power steering tractor mower with a 5′ deck.  Not bragging, just keeping the help happy.

Selling livestock is very similar to selling tractors.  However, it would be nice if there was a time limit according to their price range.

If you have a $10,000 goat and a customer that is interested, they will know in the first couple of minutes if they are interested or not.  The $ is arbitrary.  Any wether or doe customer from $2,500 and up will know in the first few minutes if there is a goat to meet their desires.

Give these customers all the time that they want.  Because, if you do it right, you can discuss the goats (good and bad), other goat business and general life and possibly learn something.  If they buy, great.  But sometimes, it is still worthwhile even if they don’t buy.  Things go well and they come back the next year.

Now a $300 lawn mower buyer…..there needs to be a time limit.  Let’s be real.  4 legs, healthy, better than a sale barn goat–no need to study long.  Here are the good parts and here is why this is not a high$ goat.  Take it or leave it.  And if you want to waste time, head down the road to the next sale where they floor them higher than that and you will spend more on gas and time involved.  It is not uncommon for me to sell a $500 value goat for $300 in order to move the process along.  If I don’t have to clip or photo, I get in a mind to move product.

However, if that $300 buyer is looking at a volume load–now you better pay attention.  Not eating anymore feed, clearing pen space, mental health–does the buyer have a trailer there and available to load out?  A seller better pay attention and take care of business.  Because a volume buyer like that can be more valuable than one high $ goat.

This post may sound like I don’t want to deal with cheaper goats.  Not true!  I just don’t want to spend all day looking at cheaper goats.  It either fits your deal or it doesn’t.  Keep it brief.  And, as an ag teacher, I buy more cheaper goats than most.  I don’t waste much time.  It either has a chance or it doesn’t.  Get the deal done or walk away.

Have I mentioned that I hate lawn mowers?  I still hate female goats as well.  Have a good one.