Over the past almost decade of posting crap on here, the consistently most-read ones are the random stuff.  Now, granted, the top tens and and the ones where I go off, are always chart toppers.  But, there are only so many top tens and I do need to limit the “going off” specials.

So, let’s get random.

Today, without a doubt, I was the most popular person to visit in Shattuck, America. Wait?  What?  How is this different than any other day?  Well, let me tell you.  I sent out a group text to all show families that I have county & Woodward District premium sale checks.  And then, all of a sudden, all of them wanted to come see me.  In the past 6 years, this is the first time that I have handed these checks out before May 1.  CORONA FREE!!

One of the MOST HATED questions heard by ag teachers—When will we see our local/county checks?   JEEMINIY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!    RUSM?????????   Do you people think that we take the checks, cash them and draw interest on them for a couple of weeks?    DO NOT ASK THIS QUESTION?   We want you to have your money as soon as possible.  We aren’t’ getting anything expect a PITA.   So, as soon as we have them, we will distribute them.

On a goat note, a husband/wife team came to pick up their kid’s check at the ag building.  I was at the computer trying to get some work done.  They walked in and asked the question, “What are you up to?”

I turned around in my chair and replied,  “I’m not sure how to answer this question.  But, I am actually sitting here trying to release some semen.”  It was true.  I was just sitting there, typing up a bunch of releases to send to REI.    Sounds way wrong but that is what I was doing.

Dealing with releases is the most unenjoyable part of having a semen sale.  Especially, a sale that had 50 lots with differing amounts of straws in the varied lots.  Some buyers want it released right away but I don’t always have a list of who has paid.  Some buyers pay real quick while others are mailing a check (like myself) and maybe it takes a day or two to find the post office (once again, like myself).  I know some of the buyers.  Some of them, never heard of before.

Damn!!!!   I had to deliver some cows near Crescent, OK on Saturday.  Afterwords, I then stopped in to Pfeiffer’s to peruse the doe kid offering that sold tonight.  I thought that there were several wicked, bad chicks selling.  I knew that they would get Cheech & Chong high, but dang…..they got real high!  Never had to worry about bidding.  The ones that I marked as potential bargains were high.  Good for them.

I’ve been seeing and hearing about a fact that some grammar teachers are now teaching kids that there should only be one space after a period.  I was taught two spaces.  It just doesn’t look right if there is only one space.

Not all news is good.

The stock show industry as a whole is guilty but I think the show goat industry might be the worst.  Most often, I feel that the production side gets over-looked.  Traits like kid size, fertility, consistency and most important, maternal traits.  Especially milk production.

Most of what we have kidded in March and April are first timers.  Most were purchased from BIG name firms (and none were bargains).  Most are trying to be good mothers, a couple aren’t milking very good and one is an absolute wretched beast that is literally trying to starve her twins to death.  And for whatever reason, they refuse to take a bottle.  The kids look like crap, are unhealthy and yet still, will only take milk when we put it down them.  She will not get another chance around here.

I usually don’t give the does full feed until the kids start eating with them (normally about 3 or 4 weeks old).  We first use a 14% pellet and a high TDN hay with some alfalfa.  But when the kids start eating,  I rev up the protein and energy.  Lots of alfalfa and we start feeding Special K to mommas and babies.

With these poor milkers, I’m feeding more alfalfa and more feed.  It helps on some but one can only overcome genetics to a certain point.

Now granted, some of these does will milk well with their 2nd crop.  Most of these will get another chance.

Too many focus on the high $ traits and those traits (bone, base width, skull width) usually translate into fewer maternal traits.  Here in paradise, we aren’t close to a vet that works on goats and we aren’t close to a sale barn.  Therefore, I need to not have to worry about C sections and I need all of the kids to be marketable.  I don’t want to have 10 kids with 5 being shitters, 3 being okay kind of goats and 2 being wicked good.  I need consistency.

Just some random thoughts as I come back in from dealing with female goats and their offspring.  I like dealing with the bucks.  Keep the feeder and waterer full while they look at me with a “Dude, how much longer till I get some action?” kind of look.

If you have read these posts before, this one is retarded.  If you are new, just click to a different website.

There are so many cool movie lines.  However, there are some that just don’t fit on a t-shirt but you know $h!t is getting ready to happen when you hear them.

“Muster the rohirrim!”

The Return of the King.  When you hear Theodin utter these words, you know the fight is now on.

“I’m your huckleberry.”

Tombstone.  Yes, this one has been on t shirts and such.  IDK.  Val Kilmer forevermore killed the role of Doc Holliday.

“I find your lack of faith disturbing.”

The scariest bad ass of all-time–Darth Vader.  Light saber, choke hold or worse?

“You see, in this world, there’s two kinds of people, my friend–those with loaded guns, and those who dig.  You dig.”

Arguably, the best movie role of all time–The Man with No Name–The Good, the Bad & the Ugly.

I’m not afraid to dig.  In fact, I actually ran a manual backhoe this very day.  I may be sore tomorrow but I do know how to run a shovel.  However, in current times, I’m not going to be one that is digging.

I, much like the rest of you, have had a hard time getting my head wrapped around all of this BS.  Is it needed?  Is it political?  Is it world-wide?  Is it that serious?

I can answer with a solid I Do Not Know.  However, it scares me how easily the American population broke to lead.  Stay at home.  Don’t go to church.  Shut schools down.  Masks.  Shut everything down.  The media scared people into a frenzy to gather toilet paper!  RUSM?   I wish that last deal made some sense.  But, nobody was shitting themselves, so why the TP craze?  My GOD!!

My lifestyle has changed as I don’t have a 100+ students to deal with on a daily basis.  Economically, it is hard to justify buying a bunch of show animals at this time.  Ironically, I already practiced this social distancing crap.  I have been a lot of miles but I just haven’t dealt with many people in person.  I don’t have a lot of faith in this deal being as scary as what it is made to be.

I do not like how easily we have broke2lead as a population.  It concerns me.  I go to work on a daily basis.  Have traveled.  I’ve made purchases that are protected by our constitution.  I have washed my hands on a regular basis for decades.  I’m not wearing a halter or a chain.  And if that time comes, I plan on being a bug-eyed, double twisted eared, doe kid with sharp horns that performs that alligator death roll that gets you stabbed and/or fingers tied up in a chain.  You know, the kind of goat that doesn’t mind choking itself out AND then does it again, all while inflicting pain on the person holding the chain.

I truly feel for anybody that has suffered losses due to this crap.  I will always remember the way life was, should be and hope that it can be again.

I didn’t like $3 or $4 per gallon fuel but none of us can afford $1 gasoline.  There are some evil forces at work.  Keep your eyes open, your ears to the ground and listen to quotes.      And go grab a shovel and plant a garden.  Can’t hurt.

I love cool movies and great music.  I also can get addicted to stuff.  I understand the beverage of choice and that is why people that know me keep me as busy and hooked up as possible.  I have NEVER done any kind of drugs.   I haven’t had an aspirin or ibuprofen in over a decade.  I don’t like pain but I also don’t want to be tied to a pill.  Last summer, when they did a hernia surgery on me, I cut the pain pills in half and didn’t use them all.  I know that I could like some things REAL well if I ever tried them.  Which brings us to pickles.  Yes, pickles.  I have an addiction to Best Maid hamburger slice pickles.  I eat them by the jar.  Sandwiches, burgers or just out of the jar.  Recently, I was exposed to Best Maid extreme hot pickle bitez.  I knew to walk away, which I did the first two times.  I love pickles and I crave that kind of heat that almost hurts but leaves you wanting more.  (Tobasco will always be my go to drug).  Now, I have a jar of these in the fridge.  A dwindling jar.

Stay safe.  Be smart.  Pull your head out.  Listen, don’t just be told.  Listen.  Look and learn.

All of us now have new definitions of what essential actually is?

Obviously, anybody selling ass-wipe, booze, eggs and vegetable plants are dang sure essential.  Our greenhouse sale has gone really well.  It’s crazy how many people are hunting vegetable plants.  Tammy has been like a non-commission drug dealer.  She’s been hunting and gathering plants and then dispersing them to whomever had hollered out a need.

I tilled up garden spots today.  And, the mail delivered me a box of taters for planting.  Perfect.  Getting ready to have plants growing and meat in numerous freezers.  But what happens if we lose electricity?  Well, then we will be –ff-ed.  The electric companies might be the MOST essential business.

We all love sports.  I was planning on watching a wicked-group of Shattuck High baseball players this spring.   But NOOOO!!   ESPN has kept four channels going without showing any live/current sporting events.  They are way amped for the nfl draft.  And this bulls series.  I haven’t seen it yet, but I will.

We pay athletes how much?  And they are doing what now?  Essential, probably not.

There are so many musicians doing different benefits.  Country, rock, pop, opera, doesn’t make a rat’s ass…..if they have talent, they are doing a wide variety of online benefits.  They are keeping fans, making new fans and generating dollars for hopefully, worthy causes.  Although, the air guitar crap that the Rolling Stones did was not essential.  At least they could have plugged head phones in and actually been hitting drums.  Who is more essential?  Athletes or musicians?  I don’t need to answer.

Essential–anybody making adult beverages.  Also, local butchers are staying swamped.  We’ve got a bad-ass grocery store in Shattuck.  The crew at Venture Foods has kept shelves close to full and NOT price gouged.  I was a fan of this crew before, but now they are LEGENDARY ESSENTIAL!

None of us can live without petroleum products, but the oil market is in the shitter.  This ain’t good for none of us.

In the show stock industry, online marketers have become essential.  I do know the first people that EVER held an online goat sale (Kela, Tommy, Julie & my dumbass) and I will guarantee you that nobody saw the April of 2020 as being the busiest online livestock marketing month of ALL-time.  April isn’t done, but there has been a record amount of online sales this month.  Watch this trend continue.  AND it is now apparent who have been holding REAL sales and who have been holding BS deals.  As for me, I will continue to move product at prices that fit the masses.

Does that make me essential?   You bet.  However, the Dragon Lady may disagree.

“First of all, don’t make fun of the weather here, and don’t say the weather is the same all the time here.  Because it’s not.  In fact, the wind is two MPH slower today than yesterday.”

“Well, thank you, Roosevelt. What’s the weather like out there?”

“It’s WINDY!  Damn WINDY!  Real WINDY!”

“Well, tell me what it feels like.”

“Fool, it’s WINDY!  I told you again!”

There are mornings when I walk outside and I just think of one of the greatest movies of all time–Good Morning Vietnam!   Robin Williams was so, so good in that role.  The weather reports were fun to listen to.

On any given day near Fargo, OK,  the first thing that hits me is that Rodgers & Hammerstein line, “When the wind comes sweeping down the plain.”  I think that it is safe to say that they had been in NW OK when they added that line to the great song.  The second thing that hits me is that wind–spelled with a capital F!

I get so, so sick and tired of the EFFING wind!  Oh, it’s only 20+ mph today.  Let’s go outside and do outside work.

Easter Sunday was a howling WINDY SOB.  I took care of stock and came back inside.  The rest of the day, I was like Tammy’s little dog.  I just looked over the top of the couch, out the windows and decided to stay inside.  Well, until, I had to do evening chores.  I can handle a lot of weather extremes, but this EFFING wind can kick me mentally and physically.

At least we aren’t burnt up dry AND windy like in a couple of years past when a large part of this world burnt up.  Which was caused, started and fueled by WIND.

This covid or corona crap also kicks me.  Is it real?  Did we need to destroy economies?  How evil is the media? If the rona is real and our whole society followed orders for the right reasons, how scary is it that some evil forces are watching and going, “Dude, they broke to lead REALLY easy?”

No matter, I’ve dealt with people–young and old–and everybody was dang good to deal with.  The rona has caused problems for all of us but you know what,  there is a lot of good out there.  I spent the day running the greenhouse sale while Mrs. Abbey was gone.  I had GREAT help from the legendary Shattuck FFA President–Ms. Addie Swanson.  I do not use the term “legendary” in a light fashion.  If I was running a company, I would hire this one now, sign a long term contract, pay for her schooling and then put her to work, knowing that she would be moving on to bigger things.  Positive attitude, work ethic and people skills will NEVER go out of style.  This girl has it in spades.

Addie, her middle sister Emmie and their friend Teagan Charmasson made a short movie clip of what I thought would be a virtual tour of the greenhouse.  It turned into a HEE HAW type flick.  It was awesome!  Check out the Shattuck FFA Facebook page.  It is so much fun to watch.

We dealt with great customers today.  Everybody understands but, we all shrug, and try to do right by others.

Oh!  I don’t have many but I’ve got some good goats getting ready to be weaned.

Time to step away from the keyboard.  People, stay rona free and here’s to hoping we all have horseshoes and shamrocks.

And no, I’m not talking about global warming.  Your ex-vp spouted enough about global warming and still, that has yet to come true.

I’m talking about the current climate in today’s US of A.  Most of us do not know of anybody that actually tested positive for the rona.  Yet, some of you are in a panic over toilet paper.  Me,  I have a CHRISTmas gift bag full of socks with holes.  I was supposed to clean out a sock and underwear drawer back in 2019.  I did.  But, I didn’t get rid of the bag.  Now, I have a bag of socks with holes with which I can wipe my hole if need be.

I spent today, taking a PHD level course that dealt with economics, DOT regs, how to deal with people, animal safety, customer service, BS online sales, boiled eggs, the color pink, self-inflicted deals, insurance, hats2small, ask questions….OH WOW!!   It was fricken awesome!   WICKED!!   There is NO college course for what I witnessed today.

This OG!   And when I say THE OG, I truly understand that there is no argument who I am talking about.  This one pioneered the industry and is still on top.  No matter how crude he may seem, this dude gets it–the business, the care, all of it.  He may or may not have been wearing pink panties ( IDK, just sayin’)

I’ve talked to people on both coasts.  And it seems to me like the current climate is…..this is BS.  Let’s get this over with and on to the rest of our lives.  None of us trust the media, yet……. here we are.

I’m trying to learn the stock market.  I think that I have a handle on politics (lots of stuff that ain’t right) and I feel real confident on how to market quality livestock.   Our current climate is ripe for Honesty and a job well done.

Yet, I look at the possible presidential nominee and think……How can they run Joe Biden and think that they have a chance?     I am not looking forward to your vice presidential candidate.  I will gladly vote for a qualified female but that deal is not good.  You people are going to have michelle obama on the next ticket.

I don’t like that climate change.

I just want an evening in March with Thunderstruck playing, kids getting scholarships announced and then let’s pick some banner winning animals.  That’s the climate I wanted and still want.  I don’t like this other BS.

I tell you what.  The first two that text me the name of the OG that taught a college-level class today get a straw of UZI semen–FREE.  I mean, who doesn’t want some UZI semen.   Dang, that sounds bad.

I have never understood how most shows select goat judges.  Majors on down to district shows.  How in the hell do some of these people end up judging goat shows?  Because they took the ABGA test?  That should only qualify them to judge PUREBRED shows.  In a junior show like OYE or Tulsa, pigmentation, horn slope and breed character doesn’t matter and shouldn’t matter.

The judges themselves should know when to turn a show down.  If you are going to use in your terms, “I normally don’t judge goat shows”  or “I mostly judge lamb shows, so this is a bit out of the norm for me.”  Well, the judge should politely turn down the offer.

A couple of years ago, we suffered through an OYE doe judge that commented in EVERY class that he normally doesn’t judge goats.   And in the end, he judged like he didn’t know what he was doing.  I had several goats that won numerous classes that day.  One of which is one of the best that I have ever seen.  She won a class.  However, in the end, the good ones weren’t where they should have been.  I’ve kept quiet for the sake of the kids that won but he wasn’t worth 2 squirts of owl crap.  And I wasn’t the only one that thought this as he hasn’t been back.  Nor has he judged any other doe shows.  Yet, he judged the biggest one—ONCE.  WTF?

As a parent/teacher/coach….this makes it hard to explain.  From the other side–money/politics–I get it.  I don’t have to like it.  But, I get it.  My point—if you are on the side of trying to make money or make sure the politics are on your side, then at LEAST make sure the people you paid ACT like they know what they are doing.

How come so many sheep judges are considered expert goat judges?  Goats are harder to judge than lambs.  Shouldn’t good goat judges be lamb judges?

Why do so many shows try to hire a goat/lamb judge?  Racist son-of-a-guns.  They don’t worry about hiring a barrow/steer judge.  If I was to get a call to judge a rabbit show, you know what, I would turn it down.  Even though I can judge rabbits, I would HOPE that there are people more qualified than I.

I’ve served on numerous committees that have input to pick judges and it is hard.  Scheduling, political conflicts, travel and pay are always a concern.  The judges should be excited to come look at the stock. Not intimidated.

Year after year, I watch the Westminster dog show.  Not one time have I thought that they should call me to judge.

I’m at that point where this post could go several different directions.  Just read it and think about it.  No matter, I’m done.

Stay covid free.  Help others.  And fire up some cool tunes.

Sometime around March 17, people were already hitting me up about the Shattuck FFA Greenhouse Sale.  I politely told them that it would be about April 20.  Then, for the next couple of weeks, it became a crescendo.  They would ask, almost with panic in their voices, “When is the greenhouse sale?”  I got pretty growly with several.  I even told a couple, “I’ll sell you some right now, but it is WAY too early.  And if you buy some now, you will be back and have to buy more when they freeze out.”

Now, in the past two weeks, we have had five different nights below freezing, numerous days with unbelievable wind and now the ground is covered with snow.  I have yet to till up anything for the garden.  I now have it on my mind.

I’ve got babies that I am ready to move out of the kidding barn but I’ve been waiting on this cold front to move on through.  Maybe this rash of wicked weather and cold fronts have cleansed away the rona and we can get on with the spring of 2020.

It was definitely a different Easter Sunday.  The Kelln’s normally gather in Shattuck for Mass followed by a huge lunch at the parent’s.  Prime rib with all of the fixings.

Tammy livestreamed an Easter service and then hand-made egg rolls.  Yeah, like oriental style egg rolls.  They are good but not what I’m used to eating at Easter.

I did watch a live streaming concert on youtube.  Andrea Bocelli from the Duomo Cathedral in Milan, Italy. Unbelievable talent in an absolute beautiful building.  After the concert was over, I watched numerous other youtube videos of this dude singing.  I watched several renditions of him singing “Con te  partiro”  or “Time to say goodbye” with several different lady singers–in English and in Italian.  No matter the language, I can’t get the Catalina Wine Mixer out of my head.  Will Ferrel killed that part.

Old School is another movie that has forever changed the lyrics to a popular song.  Once you’ve seen that movie, it is hard to un-hear the Bonnie Tyler song “Total Eclipse of the Heart”

Easter Sunday was a windy, cold, miserable SOB outside.  The wind is hard to handle.  And since it was nasty outside, I watched some youtube video of the Three Tenors.  Those dudes could wail. I actually have a CD of them.  One of the videos that I watched was the Three Tenors singing Sinatra’s “My Way” and Sinatra was in the front row of the concert.  That is bad ass!

Tammy watched numerous episodes of The Ranch and then we watched the new Tiger King interview show.  The middle brother had referenced the nanny in a book face comment LATE Saturday night.  They showed a pic of her and the nanny is hot.  And that buck is wicked good!

Stay warm, stay safe and I’m ready to get through all of this crap.  Go spark up some of those videos.

While you are sheltered at home and need something to do, read “The Stand” by Stephen King.  Yes, that Stephen King.  This book was written in 1978 but seems very current.  They made a mini-series out of this book if you would rather.  Either way, you better clear a calendar.  It’s long but good.

I haven’t read it but I have seen several excerpts from “The Eyes of Darkness” by Dean Koontz.  I may read it as the parts that I have seen make one go, “hhhhmmm??!?”

Most of all, we should all be reading the BIBLE.  I know that I don’t often enough.

We’ve got another freeze heading our way.  After that, time to plant the garden and have a greenhouse sale.

People, have a good one and a better tomorrow.  Here’s to horseshoes and shamrocks for all of us.  Peace be with you.