I try to learn something new everyday.  It might be a random fact that I googled at 3:29 am which will only come in handy during a game of Trivial Pursuit, during an argument or on the off chance that I get on Jeopardy!

While other days, I actually try to learn something useful.  Today, I was a 3FER in that regard.

For starters, the school had a lunch rail at the grade school that had broken in numerous places.  Crappy tack welds.  No big deal, except it was made out of stainless steel.  I have never welded stainless, nor been shown how to weld stainless, nada.  So, I got some stainless steel filler rod.  Watched a youtube video on welding stainless steel and guess what?  I fired up a TIG and I welded stainless steel.  22 welds that I made today on that stainless steel serving rail.  And you can dang sure tell the first couple that I made.  I had to stop and grind some tungsten.  But, as I continued, I learned how to do it better.  I even had to weld left handed.  Maybe my best welds.  If I was like the current younger generation of goat fitters, I would have stopped and took a pic of my handiwork to post on social media.

Now, here’s the truth.  I wasn’t afraid to try this endeavor because I knew that if I screwed it up, I was going to haul this 18 foot long serving rail a couple miles north of Shattuck to Al Walton.  And he would fix it.  Thankfully, I didn’t have to do that.

My next learning experience involved beef short ribs.  The other evening, I saw some really good looking beef short ribs.  They were cut differently than I was used to seeing.  They were cut about 3/4″ thick, more like a thin cut Western Sizzlin steak.  The color, texture and marbling looked way good.  So, I decided to try them.  Wasn’t sure how to cook them but I knew that they have a tendency to be tough if not slow cooked.  I’m real pleased with the tenderness that was achieved.  I marinated one set and seasoned the other set with butter and worcestershire sauce.  (say it, come on—is it “woostershire” or is it “wor-chester-shire”? )  They were good but not dang good. Thankfully, the garlic butter new taters were damn good.

And while cooking tonight, I learned my third new skill of the day.  Tammy and Duke had ran to Shattuck, so I had the place to myself.  Turn up the tunes!  Not a new concept around here, yet on this night, I used Tammy’s little Alexa deal.  The command “Alexa, play Neil Diamond” is bad donkey.  Then  play Sinatra.  Then play “Calling Baton Rouge”.  Oh yeah!  “Alexa–play AC/DC!”   Hell yeah!  That chick knows which songs need to be played first.  Heckuva DJ.

And then, the Dragon Lady got home.  “TURN THAT DOWN!”

Hey, I cooked.

Okay, turn it down so I can at least hear the tv.

What to take from tonight’s blog.

1–There are people that are better than I at welding stainless steel.  But, I learned while doing.

2–There are people that are better than I at cooking beef short ribs.  I’ve got the time & temp figgered out, now to dial in the seasoning.

3–No matter what I am doing, I enjoy some wicked tunes and I learned that little speaker can pump out the jam.

And I like daylight-donut infused bread pudding.  The note says Allyn made it but I bet that Tiffany had a lot to do with it.  Either way, I learned a long time ago to say thank you.

People, have a good one.

It gets dark too early.  I don’t watch any news or professional sports, I’m current on The Mandalorian and Yellowstone which leaves me triple D, reruns of Law & Order or SVU, Counting Cars or Pawn Stars.

Off and on, I’ve watched Pawn Stars since sometime in 2009.  I have enjoyed a few episodes.  In January of 2010, a crew of us went to Vegas.  Poe & I had seen Pawn Stars.  Mikey Thompson and Fred Slater had not.  We walked from The Strip to Fremont Street.  We stopped at the Gold & Silver Pawn Shop.  It was around 10 am.  Not much traffic yet, but the Old Man was sitting at the desk playing solitaire, Rick was on the phone and Big Hoss and Chumlee were posing for pics and signing a few autographs.  Big Hoss & Chumlee were large mammals.  The place was remarkably small.  In 2019, Duke was in Vegas and went there as well.  He says that it is smaller than you expect.

Nonetheless, I still like to watch it from time to time.  You might learn something.  Or you might just be a bit jealous as they got to shoot a tank or a flamethrower or a cannon.  No matter, there is some cool stuff.

But, when you stop and think about the show and the economics…..ka ching!  There are a bunch of checks being cashed by that crew.

They are getting paid to be on the show.  But they are also increasing revenue stream from other sources. Rick Harrison has a production crew that helps make the show.  And they are generating traffic for the store.  And they are selling shirts and paraphernalia from the store.  And they are generating revenue from people that WANT to buy from the store.  And bringing in exposure for people that WANT to sell to the store.  And they help back other spin-off shows like Counting Cars.  The show is a borderline monopoly and has a timeless feel to it.  I mean, people are always going to be coming up with cool stuff to sell.

I just wished that they showed some more of the “pawn” side of the business.  You know, the “real word” side of a pawn shop.  Like some poor soul putting their inherited Rolex watch up for pawn, in order to get some more cash to spend on gambling, drugs or maybe a hooker or three.

I’d maybe like to see an episode of somebody buying a Ninja sword and during the bartering, the buyer says “Rick, I’ll give you the $9,000 that you are asking if you can show me some provenance that proves that this wasn’t some crack addicts’ last item, that he pawned to you, which in turn he used to buy his last hit of meth that ended his life.”

Or better yet, here’s my mom’s brother’s cancelled check who was an uncle to Marilyn and the cashed check signed by JFK to pay off that uncle to never show those pics from that weekend.

Rick–“This could be priceless.  Let me call a buddy.”

Seller–“Nah, I don’t have time for you to call a buddy.  Just give me $20K.  I’m bidding on a goat online and need the money pronto.”

Rick–“So, since it’s online, that means you aren’t bidding at Friday Night Fever and it must be in extended bidding……….so you’ll take $8K?”

Seller–“Dude!  It’s not a Stork, BTW or Shrank goat in Texas.  It’s just a goat in Illinois.  Now, if it was Friday Night Fever, I couldn’t agree to this deal.  I would need $100k. Yes, we are in extended bidding so give me $10K!”

Rick–“Okay.  $10K.  Step over and let’s do some paperwork before you pull your head out of your ass and you change your mind.”

Not sure this has ever happened but I would like to see the other side of the “pawn” business.

If you can’t tell, this is kind of like that Styx song, I’ve had too much time on my hands.

Here’s a little bit of worthless reading material that can get one through a long sit down session in a bathroom.

Do NOT trim your nails in the dark.  That is a job that requires plenty of light.

Do NOT remove CIDRs from a goat by yourself.  Even if you can hold one still and reach back there….well then, it is just a cleaner process if you have help.

I highly recommend attending a livestock judging contest like I did this past Friday.  With all the contact tracing  going on, I was down to just 3 kids but I had told the contest organizer that I would bring a couple of classes of goats.  So, we still went.  Excellent contest.  They opened it up with a prayer by Mr. Ryan Pullan.  He forevermore laid down the gospel in a short, yet inspiring style.  Then, they had a young man play “THE Star Spangled Banner” on a violin.  I wasn’t sure if I was in a livestock arena or a church.  Either way, I LOVED IT!

Do NOT turn the channel if  Guns N Roses “Sweet Child O’ Mine”,  Def Leppard “Photograph”  or a Roy Orbison song is starting.  Instead, just crank the volume.

If you should happen into your neighborhood gun shop, and they have an item that you have not seen before and can’t currently order another one like it, then by all means, DO buy it.  Even if you were not in the buying mood.  It will only appreciate in value.

If you have the time, and/or sometimes you just need to make time, to sit in the middle of a road and listen to your neighbor espouse wisdom.  Johnny told me of a recent story with his hired hands.  And I will paraphrase this story.

Johnny–“I’m hauling that heifer to the sale barn.  She has a bad attitude.”

Hands–“But, that is one of your best keeper heifers.”

Johnny–“Yep, but I don’t need no bad attitudes around here.  Hell, when you’ve had two divorces, you learn to cut your losses and just deal with ones that you can stand to be around.”   True, regardless of sex, species, whatever.

And DO always pay attention to your surroundings.  On Saturday evening, as I drove into Shattuck, I noticed a group of people standing around a leafless Elm tree, looking up.  So, as I rolled down the highway next to the “pet”store, I slowed down to see what they were looking at…..holy hell, it was a 2 foot long blue & yellow parrot.  Yeah, a parrot in Shattuck, Oklahoma.  I circled the block to survey the situation and then went on to check projects and feed Herfy the Hereford hog.  I then came back by the pet shop, pulled over and watched a bunch of rednecks tape several broomsticks together and then add a pool skimming net to the end.  Then one of them climbed a ladder.  She could reach the parrot, but there wasn’t enough net to catch the fowl.  After a couple of failed swipes, the colored macaw flew out of the tree, across the highway and lighted in a tree near the EMS building.  I took a picture for proof.

As I had no means of helping to catch a prize bird, no beer and I’m sure that they didn’t want the bird shot, I headed home to deal with goats and watch a Bedlam game.  I shoulda just sat and watched the parrot patrol.

And after today, I highly recommend that every dude go to a high end clothing store and get properly fitted and tailored for a suit.  Andre has done this job in OKC for 37 years.  He was good, knowledgeable, fun and wasn’t pushy. I spent more than I should have but the Dragon Lady said it looked good.  I had never bought any “tailored” clothes before and I may not again.  But, it was fun.  Expensive yet fun.

Just like buying expensive goats, I also found a couple of pimped out shirts, that most males of my race would not wear, but they were on sale.  It helped the average.  As an added bonus, these shirts won’t get mixed up with anybody else’s at the cleaners in Shattuck, OK.

I’m done.

So, I needed to see a hog trap gate.  My brother-in-law, Trapper Todd, has such a gate.  It is a feral hog trap gate that can be triggered via text message.  I have some kids building a hog trap for a customer and I needed to get the dimensions.  Trapper Todd is the state trapper for this part of OK.  While our kids were growing up, they always called him Cowboy Todd.  But, now it is Trapper Todd.   Both names fit.

Tammy & I headed south of Arnett to their place.  He and I looked at hog gates.  His wife was riding a new horse.  That’s another story.

We loaded up and headed to Packsaddle for supper.  Calf fries, onion rings and beans.  Dang good!  However, the thing that has me hung up was the kid in the diaper.  Yes, a yearling running around.  The parents & grandparents were shooting pool.  This kid could barely reach the top of the pool table.  I’m sure that this was proper parenting…however, I’m not judging.  Nonetheless, I have been hung up over the diaper covering.  It was a “sock monkey”.  Yeah, like the brown sock monkey with the big red smile. Yes, the kind that we had back in the 70s and yes, you can buy these sock monkeys in a Cracker Barrel Country Store.  Right along with all of the other nostalgic stuff that they sell.

Now, I want a sock monkey pair of shorts.  Ears on each hip.  Great big red smile across the ass cheeks.  That’s all I want for Christmas!

I know that I beat the hell out of two younger brothers with a  sock monkey.  You could grab the tail and swing it like a lethal weapon.  The more you swung that monkey by the tail, the longer the tail got.   Hey….

Walk away.

To start with:

Dear 2020, I would like to let you know that I am typing all of this with my middle finger!  Actually, both of them.

Yeah, it’s a thing.  Ladies doing yoga with little goats climbing all over them.  Cute!

Back in 2007, I started a chapter in a book.  The chapter was titled, “Goat Yoga”.  It’s not the same thing.  And it damn sure ain’t cute.

It was towards the end of May.  It was early in the AM.  At that time, I owned over 150 does.  Each morning, they left the corrals after first light.  I stood there and watched as they did what does do–stand up, stretch, crap, then squat to pee.  Then they headed out single file.  All except one.  She was a doe that I bought directly from Claire & Sharon–the Powell/Holman sisters.  This doe didn’t move.  Is she dead?

I walked over to her and nudged her with my foot.  No movement.  Yet, I could tell that she was alive.  Somehow, someway, this retarded beast had hooked her right rear knee behind her left horn.  WHAT?  How in the name of doing yoga did this dumb ass pull this stunt off?  She was locked into place like Randy “Macho Man” Savage had folded her into this position.  Except, she had done it to herself.  It was at this point, that I realized that a doe goat can get itself into ANY and EVERY awkward position–and they sometimes live through it.  I twisted her torso, so that I could get enough leverage to undo the leg out from under the horn.  And then she ran off to catch up with the rest of the herd.  Stupid!

Over the years, there have been numerous texts from breeders like Helms, Milligan, Sweet & Schneberger with pics of the newest–“You ain’t gonna believe this shit!”.

I mean, upside down and in the creep feeder.  They had to have done a flip, from a diving board, in order to land in that position and get wedged into that spot.

There has been numerous times that I have recalled the great movie “There’s Something About Mary”.  Wait, is that the beans ABOVE the frank?”  How did that happen?

How did that horn get there and that foot…..there?

The laws of physics do NOT apply to the goat industry.

This is not a unique situation.  Any and all goat herders have these stories.  Some just have more than others.  Regardless of zip code, these creatures can make one scratch their head and go, “I gotta take a pic of this and send to somebody else that will understand.”

I beg you.  Please, for the love of GOD, do NOT send me a bunch of texts, pics, etc of your stupid damn goat stunts.  I’ve seen it.  I believe you and I do NOT want to see them.  I don’t want to see pics of my own goats much less some damn creatures that I don’t like AND don’t own.

There has been a lot of stuff rattling around inside my skull.  Some good, some bad.

Months ago, there was a joke amongst some of my friends that Ellis County was covid-free because it was so effing dry that no virus could live out here.  Well, we got an ice storm 2 weeks ago.  Ice, snow and rain brought us much needed moisture.  Guess what blew the eff up since then?  Yep.  The rona has found its way to Ellis County.  Nobody’s life is threatened but there are a lot of sickly people.   And to answer your question, no, I have not been tested.  I’m good.  Keep on keeping on.

I have had a hard time recovering from my newest purchase.  I in no way was planning on buying Duke a brand new pickup.  But the current used vehicle market is retarded.  It was literally cheaper to buy him a new pickup.  Of course, he will soon have something that Kela has never had–vehicle payments.

Speaking of Kela, she is back to work full-time on The Mandalorian set.  She has to be tested 3 times per week.  She is working long hours and thankful to be working those hours.

Were the Beastie Boys the best at making videos?  I say that visually, Shania Twain was the best, but yes, the Beastie Boys made some cool videos.

Back in the mid 90’s, we lived at Waynoka, OK.  Great place.  A new energy company opened up a field location there.  This company was called Chesapeake Energy.  Tammy went to work for them in 1997.  She worked there for 15 years.  She really liked working with that company.

When they first opened up and were giving out free hats and stuff, I made comment that the logo looked like the logo from Callahan Auto Parts.  Yes, from the movie Tommy Boy.  Chesapeake didn’t make brake pads but it wasn’t long until they changed their logo.  Not sure that I had anything to do with the change.

After last year, I feel confident in how to breed Next Friday, UZI and the Mandalorian.  I also have a set of does bred to AI.  We are currently breeding for April and then May kids.  I have a lot of time, effort and money tied up into breeding these does.  Can’t wait.

1n 2017, I spent a small fortune on limb removal and tree trimming.  Only 3 years later, and I am once again dealing with limb removal.  Elm trees are good for a tree trimming business.  I had everything cleaned up but then Saturday brought 50 PLUS mph winds that removed more limbs from tree tops.

46 days left in 2020.  The last 2 weeks haven’t been fun–family with cancer, a friend with cancer,  a mentor with cancer, friends with covid, a friend with a heart problem that led to a stroke, another friend dead of a heart attack……I’m good but dang!   Tammy and I spend more time laughing at her little Cavapoo dog.  I don’t like him but he makes us laugh.  My values seem to have changed during this pandemic.

I’m ready for a concert.

Last year, I fed out 4 steers.  This year, I have 8 on feed.  I already have 4 spoken for and I have yet to advertise that I am feeding any.  Maybe the most valuable thing that I have is 9 butcher dates in Feb, March and April.  Yes, that 9th one is for a pig that I am feeding.  I like high quality meat.

Here’s to wishing all of you nothing but horseshoes and shamrocks.  May tomorrow be better than today.

Crappy election, doe goats, farming, nominations and this hideous wind…..not a good weekend.

Any of you people that know me, understand that I am a fan of Star Wars and the Hobbit-based books and movies.  I enjoy the stories, the beliefs, the legends, the honor, the fight for good and evil–all of it.

In the Star Wars saga, the original face of evil was/is Darth Vader.  He is a timeless character–yeah, you can hear him, right now, with that James Earl Jones voice and that breathing.  He’s like AC/DC, everybody knows who ’em when you hear ’em.  And in the end, he was good.

The Hobbit stories all tie the fate of nations into the “little guy”–the hobbit.  Either Bilbo, Frodo or Samwise–no matter.  It is the little guy that saves the day.

Both stories are biblical in their basis.  Stories of good versus evil with an unseen spirit constantly at work.  This is not new info, yet it seems to fit.

Democrats vs. Republicans.  Both sides thinks they are right.  Yet, there is still a spirit that is not controlled by either side.  There is always a smaller, yet spiritually stronger being that was discounted.  A civil war begins tomorrow, the next day… I think not.  I truly don’t think that one side is prepared for a fight like that and the other side really doesn’t want it to come to that.  And yet, the media feasts on that fear and will continue to feed the ignorant.

Here are my issue(s).  Why don’t more turn the channel?  Don’t listen to the crap that they are spewing.  Yeah, really, it is that simple.

If Chewbacca and Han Solo are such bad asses, why not just turn them loose with a light saber or 3?   Give them a jedi to show them the way.  Jawas eff up everything.  Just infect some imperial ships with jawas.  And if these Mandolarian’s are such bad asses (I do love that show), how come they are so few?

And in all of the LOTR stories, the dwarves and elves are always way out-numbered.  ALWAYS!  But, yet a small band of Thorin’s dwarves can sway a battle against endless orcs.  And anytime the elves are involved, asses get kicked.  What?  Just keep Gimli & Legolas covered and let them wipe out the enemy.   Better yet, just let the eagles fly the hobbits into Mordor and shorten the journey.

No matter.  No need to comment, text–I get it.  They are just stories.  And so is the bible.  Sometimes there has to be tough times in order to get the unaccounted to rise up and fulfill.

I was sent this earlier today, Nov. 3, and it is fitting.  “Today feels like the whole country is waiting for an STD test result.”

Actually, it is probably going to be more like a covid test.  Negative tonight, yet positive tomorrow…wait, yes positive or is this a negative.  Who knows?

There are miracles needed in the world.  And I wouldn’t waste a miracle on a goat deal.  Yet, I know a bad ass goat family that is ready for a miracle.  Prayers my friends.

No matter your beliefs, prayers and hope in an unseen force are a good thing. Maybe the best of all things.  Horseshoes & shamrocks!  May tomorrow always be better than today.  GOD speed!

Here we go.  Time to take a deep breath before the plunge.  It is the night before what most are calling the most important presidential election in the history of the United States of America.   I would imagine that there will be long lines at the polls tomorrow.

I just want to get my presidential voting record back to .500.  I was 0 for 2 during the ’92 & ’96 elections.  Then went 2 for 2 in ’00 & ’04.  Then 0 for 2 again in ’08 & ’12.  Then 1 for 1 in ’16.  That makes my record 3 wins & 4 losses.  Of course, I voted for the right candidate EVERY time.

We are just hoping that it ends quickly and fairly.  I doubt that any of us feel that there were will be positive feelings on Tuesday night.    I feel like this whole process will be as clean as an unqualified sheep judge lining up an Oklahoma goat show.  Either way, we will be done with the political ads for a bit.  Then, we can just listen to the BS media spew their directives about this, that or another.

One candidate is not very likable but he brings a list of positives to the table.  The other has ZERO redeeming qualifications that make him a viable choice.   He has been in office for 5 decades, has been a VP and has nothing to show for it other than a list of corruption.

Important question–How come the word “fiery” is spelled fiery?  Shouldn’t it be, “firey”?  (Damn spell check tried to correct it.)  Shine–shiny,  sun–sunny, fun–funny.  No matter, I just hope we don’t all end up in a fiery mess when this is all done.

Please say a prayer or three for all involved. (which includes all of US!)  And get off your asses and vote.  No excuses!

All together now, “Our FATHER,……….”  You know it, say it.  Peace be with you.

We finally got the moisture that we desperately needed.  I got all of the tree limbs hauled off.  This past weekend consisted of CIDRs, lut shots, blood tests and moving cattle around.  I should have placed CIDRs last week but, the weather wasn’t real conducive.

Friday saw the opening of season 2 of The Mandalorian.  The best thing about this season is that Tammy and I can find Kela’s name in the credits.  One has to take a minute to find it, but nonetheless, it is there.  She’s chasing a dream and enjoys what she is doing.

And now, we can quit talking about Okie State football being a top 5 team.

Feb. 22 is a date that I scheduled several months ago.  At that time, I was yet to own a pig, but I scheduled a butcher date for one.  Back at the first of October, Rodney Washmon had a breeder put the wrong pig on the trailer.  The TX customer didn’t want it and there was some problems making connections to get the pig back to Ohio.  Finally, the breeder told Rodney to just find a home for him.  And now, I have Herfy the Hereford pig on feed.  Will he get shown?   You bet.  He will get shown how to get on a trailer to go to the Gage Locker on Feb. 22.

Speaking of a Herf.  It is way hard to beat a meal consisting of beef roast from a mini-herf steer, baby taters and carrots.  So, so good!

I understand and respect the marbling of high quality beef.  I have seen marbling in pork and realize that a pure Berkshire has a higher probability of having marbling.  I only recently learned about a chicken, yes a chicken, that has marbling in its meat.  Check out the Bresse breed of chicken.  The American Bresse is a cool colored bird.

I’m done.  Have a good one and a better tomorrow.