Getting goats ready for a sale takes work.  Catch the goats, load the goats in the trailer, drive to Shattuck to Taylor’s heated barn (beings how it is May and below freezing), unload the goats and trim hooves.  That is pretty well where my work stopped.  At that point, Tyke and Big Bill went to shearing.  I watched and ran my mouth.  We have noticed over the years that little goat shearing goes way smoother if I don’t shear.  Everybody stays in a good mood and no clippers get broke.  A big thanks to Tyke and Bill for doing the work last night.  The interesting thing was that Tyke sheared 3 in the same amount of time that Bill sheared 2.  Tyke and the word FAST very rarely go in the same sentence, but he was a blaze of fire last night.

      Now, I will head to my work that pays the salary.  Then, as soon as the Dragon Lady gets off work, then I am going to Shattuck and loading those goats and a few extras.  Then we will drive to Garber and leave the goats with Schoovy.  TravASS and Braden will then take over doing my work for me and take the goats to Stephenville for the Pick your Poison sale that is Saturday.  Tammy, Duke and I will head on to Stillwater for graduation.  Which means that somebody else will be doing my chores at the house for me.  Lots of people doing my work for me.  

      It is May 2.  I was wearing shorts–no shirt, on Sunday afternoon.  Last night and this morning–32 degrees, snow, sleet & drizzle rain.  And then there is this EFFing wind that has just been relentless for several months now, save for a couple of beautiful days.  This weather is wild.  It was 90 degrees on Sunday.  Sixty degree change in just a couple of days.  Throw in some moisture and a pile of goats–yep, I got to doctor several kids with the shits last night.  I can’t imagine how any animal would get sick in this kind of weather?  Actually, we’ve been lucky with as much psycho weather as what we’ve had the past month.

     I need to shear weathers to get ready to go to the Pick your Poison sale.  I just couldn’t bring myself to shear them last night.  I will have to this evening.  Hopefully, it warms up to 40 or more.  I bet that I don’t wash these wethers when we shear them.  

      The week should get better as I get to go to Stillwater this weekend.  Things are always better in Stillwater.  

     I saw Tyke’s twin kids this evening.  They are cute,  but I’m not much on babies until they are of age to corrupt.  If they can walk, feed themselves and keep from crapping themselves, then that is the age that I start getting interested in being around kids.  Tammy, on the hand, loves babies.  It makes me nervous.  

      I changed my feeding program this past year on the doe herd.  One, they had plenty of grazing on the triticale/Austrian winter peas/tunrip mix.  Two, they had access to hay all winter.  Mostly oat hay.  I keep free choice salt as well as wind/rain mineral with CTC in it for all does, year round.  Once they kidded, the does have been getting at least 6 pounds per day of an alfalfa/wheat mid/corn pellet.  They also have free choice alfalfa.  The kids are creep fed on Special K.  The first time does are on a feeder with Special K and all the hay that they want.  

     As a whole, I din’t have to pull very many kids.  I did have at least one train wreck. But I think it was the does fault.  I have had a high rate of triplets and a litter of five.  We’ve had very few singles.  This tells me that the bucks were depositing good loads and the does were healthy to have that many eggs and to deliver a high rate of triplets.  I’ve also noticed that the kids didn’t go to feed until they were about 4-5 weeks of age.  Once, they started eating, consumption has been high.  The does have milked well.  Yes, there has been a lot of selection for does that milk heavy.

      I normally like a doe to just raise twins.  They do a better job of raising twins.  But, when they will do a good job with triplets, it sure works good.  Hhmm?  Maybe, Tyke and Mandy needed triplets.  Even quads.  Then they could have added a little Bill and a little Kelln to their little twin bundles of joy.  

     I like the Alice Cooper song “Poison”.  I’m also a fan of the hair metal band–Poison.  “Don’t need nothing but a good time” is an anthem around here.  These songs are standby fare in the iPod arsenal.  This saturday is the Pick your Poison sale in Stephenville, Tx.  Simpson, Henkhaus, Ann Shafer and myself will be selling top shelf goats.  I can’t attend the sale, due to Kela’s graduation (pretty easy decision).  Schoovy & Braden are going to take my wethers to the sale.  I don’t like having other people do my work, but this isn’t all bad.  Anytime that you can have the best goat showman in the U.S. taking care of your goats, then it ain’t all bad.  Braden is the best.  Not my opinion.  FACT!  

     We are sending 5 Joe Dirt wethers.  Nice set.  One of which is a bad ass.  He is pure poison.  I probably should have left the nuts in him.  But, you have to cut good bucks in order to make good wethers.  He will sell Saturday.  

     It is a first time sale, but it should be a high quality sale.  It is always hard to say how good a new sale will be.  I’m not worried about giving these wethers away, as everybody that has seen them is going to the sale or sending bids.  This sale has been well advertised and all participating breeders have been raising some really good goats.  I think there will be a few doe kids at the sale.  There will be several to pick from.  I haven’t seen the other consignors goats, but I will guarantee that there will be some poison to pick from.

     It is Sunday evening and everything in my little piece of paradise is almost perfect.  

I woke up this morning and couldn’t move my head or neck.  Why?  Because I got stung be a wasp yesterday afternoon.  Where?  Right on my left jaw.  I felt it and knew that I was screwed immediately.  The good thing was that I could still watch Law & Order re-runs.  

      On Saturday, I dealt with a repeat customer and then had the governer of all things goat and FFA show up.  Yep, Mr. Staats himself.  You know it is easy to get to our piece of paradise when Uncle Jack can find his way to here by himself.  We looked at goats and talked a little bit of Ag-Ed/FFA.  

     Big Bill showed up.  He and the Dragon Lady had attended an auction earlier in the day.  I didn’t buy any ag equipment; however, Tammy did manage to buy the two Zebco 33 rods & reels w/ protective cases.  I was way happy with these purchases as these were old school Zebco 33’s.  They don’t make reels like this anymore.  

     On a happy note, Nation’s livestock judging team Alva just happened to win state on Saturday.  Dietz was 2nd high individual overall–by 1 point.  Maybe he will learn how to judge ewes before national’s.   Congrats!  

      Bill managed to pull a stunt that impressed myself and the Dragon Lady.  Brooke might not have been as impressed, but she got from Shattuck to Fargo in a hurry.  

    Duke and I banded and vaccinated a set of kids today.  They were born the first week or two of March.  After handling these goats, does & wethers, I’m thinking that  I would be a dumb bastard to try to find a better set.  They are way cool.  Well, except for the best one that has red nuts and a broken front left knee.  I guess he will get to keep that red scrotum.  He is a crying shame, but I bet he will work as a tripod.

         Tammy, Duke,  Sasha and I burnt a tank of gas in the gator this afternoon looking at does, heifers, scrap metal, hills, creeks, rabbits, blacktop, county roads, neighbors’s cows, fences, lawn mowers, hill tops, etc & etc.  It was fun.  Price of the gator–high.  Spending time like today–priceless.  Best day of 2013.  Sun was shining,  wind was only kind of blowing, mud in the terrace channels, frost burnt wheat, green trying to show up in pastures, does look healthy, kids are wound up, couple of trees that are no longer standing, roundup sprayed, weed eater operated, lawn mower used, barn doors lubed, sun soaked old, fat, gray, shirtless,camo short wearing guy–happy!

I hope your day was as good as mine.  For that matter, it was a Way Good kind of weekend.  Next weekend–graduation at OSU.   

The Western Oklahoma online doe sale is on Monday.  This is a very nice set of doe kids.  They are not overly fed or fitted.  They are better in person than in the pictures.  They are backed by a pile of genetics.  The lot #2–tag 12 kid from Tori is a good one.  Tori isn’t going to give this one away.  She will make a show doe and will definitely make a brood doe.  She will only continue to get better.  Her mother has raised premium sale wethers at Tulsa.  I am taking a bad ass twin wether to this doe kid to the Pick Your Poison sale next week.  Lot #1 is cool doe kid.  She was a triplet, so she isn’t as bloomy as most.  This doe needs attention.  She could be real fun to show.

    Seelke’s are selling a pair that are backed by a pile of genetics.  The lot 11 doe is out of a Nike mother that is also the mom of Goober.  This doe kid will be later maturing but will get real interesting.  

     The Fade2Black’s from Pullan and Nation fed very well last year.  There is a pile of genetic value in this set of doe kids.  They will be cool, cocky and will get heavier muscled as they mature.  Lot 8 of Nation’s needs to be studied.  She will be later in her maturity.  She will have plenty of power and get bigger than most.  She is a full mate to the popular div. 5 winner at Tulsa last year.  You can’t go wrong with the Rainman genetics.  He has been a very consistent sire of wethers and does.  His daughters are making fabulous females and are working extremely well bred back to Joe Dirt.  

     Tyke’s doe kids are really well balanced, shapely females.  He probably shoudn’t be selling them, but he only has room for so many does, plus he needs to buy some diapers.

      These doe kids are well worth your time to study and buy.  All of these breeders have real jobs and families, therefore they haven’t been pimped on and fitted up to give you that WOW photo.  But they are for real.  These kids were pulled straight out of the weaning pens and have been running in general population without any extra TLC.  They are the kind that will feed.  They won’t melt and disappoint you in a week or two.  Instead, with good care, they will continue to get better and grow into their genetic potential.  

     The first big goat sale of the year in OK and I coudn’t be there.  Why? I have a job.  Short-handed.  Too much to do, therefore I couldn’t leave the store until 5:30.  Hour and a half drive, sale starts at 6:30–Bonham auctioneering. I drive fast, but not that fast.  Sounds like the sale went way high anyways.  I’m just a bargain bin shopper that only helps a couple of people with goats so no need to go.  There is still plenty more goats to buy.

     A job can get in the way of other things.  Sometimes, one just simply needs to step back and realize where their priorities lie.  Then, decide to use vacation days in June.  I’m having a hard time getting fired up for a set of older wethers for Tulsa.  Part of me just wants to stay home and go to work.  

     This goat deal is a full time job, but the hours are way early and late at night.  No benefits such as health insurance, 401K or dental plans.  Just the occasional benefit of seeing a little one that makes you stop, look and go “wonder what ear tag # he is?  That one is cool.”  Actually, you already normally know which one it is, but you still have to wonder for a second, double check the tag # and make mental sticky notes.  I’ve got a pair in the barn that aren’t even tagged and I find myself stopping and looking.  That is the addictive part of raising goats–watching little ones.  Sometimes, just watching a 3 week old run in circles and jump and land on its mother’s back, you shake your head, then mom steps forward and it clumsily falls to the ground.  I shake my head and wonder how an animal can be that athletic and look that bad falling on its’ ass.  I don’t mind the bucks, I like good wethers and I enjoy the babies, but I abhor the does.  Broken record, but I have a couple of great producers that are giving me pause.  Wasted hay, limping kids, crimped panels, bent barn metal, scared pen mates, etc.  

      I can sit down with a pen, sticky notes and a calculator and cash flow making a living with goats.  Most of my dealings have involved a sticky note.  Speech topics, ear notches, tag #s, to-do lists, phone #s, reminders, fund raisers, etc.  all on sticky notes.  Take a look at my desk at home and at work.  They are valuable–to me.  Plus, nobody else can read the cryptic messages that I have written on there.  

      Part of me just cringes at the thought of not having a regular job, especially when you have a good job like I presently have.  I did it for 8 weeks back in 2008 and my mind was in real good shape.  But I learned a few things about myself.  If I didn’t go to a normal job everyday then I wouldn’t shave very often.  I would wear shorts or wind pants at least 350 days out of the year.  I would eat breakfast–toast, bacon, sausage or Cocoa Puffs.  I would exercise on a regular basis. I wouldn’t miss many auctions–equipment, estate, livestock or otherwise. And if it was like my 8 week sabbatical, I wouldn’t miss the kid’s activities very often.   

        Speaking of jobs.  Kela has a real cool job right now.  But she has goals, plans and ideas to further her future endeavors in the real world.  However.  She sent her mom a picture today that made me laugh.  Ever since Kela was getting ready for her first day of kindergarten, Tammy has taken a 1st day of school picture of Kela.  This tradition has continued with Duke and even with Kela in college.  Today, my smart-ass daughter took a picture of herself going to her LAST day of school.  We are proud of her, but the real world is looming.  If I could do it all over, I would still be in college at OSU working on my 7th doctorate.  

      To all of you with jobs–paying or otherwise–I salute you.  Everybody needs a job.  Unemployment–that only exists because of politicians and a pile of those need to be un-employed.  

Good day, GOD bless and stay flexible, but not limp.

   that you can’t argue with.  Why?  Because I am right.

     So I go to Carl’s Jr. to get a $6 burger combo deal which cost $8.28 before tax.  Something seems amiss with a $6 burger for $8.28 but that wasn’t what caught my attention.  The high school dropout & future rehab attendee says “I’ll hook you up with a discount that will save you 89 cents.”  I said, “Sure.  That would be great.”

     I take my number and sit down.  They bring me my $6 burger which cost more than $6.  They leave the receipt on the table.  I glance at it and notice the discount.  RUSM!!!  It says  “Senior Disc 10%”.  When in the hell did I cross the line to earn a senior discount.  It was just a few years ago that I was still getting IDed when buying a cold beer.  Do I look that old?  Did I look like I needed a discount to save 89 cents?  I don’t know whether to appreciate the gesture or be pissed.  

      I haven’t cared about a birthday since I turned 21 and got rid of a fake ID.  I know that I am getting old and gray, but dang.  The age part doesn’t bother me.  What actually bothers me is that dumb fatherless-child took 89 cents out of that companies till for the day.  How many more times did he do that?  89 cents times 20 adds up.  I didn’t need the favor.  I would rather be charged extra if they properly took the extra and used it where it is actually needed.  I understand how hard it is to find good help.  Idon’t blame the company, but the employee.  The burger was good and might have been worth $8.28.  I’ll go back.  But pass the discount on to where it is needed.

   Had a guy call me and ask me about coming to the house to look at doe kids.  He asked, “Can I find your place?”  I asked where he got my phone #.  He said, “On your website.”  I told him that the driving directions were on there.  I stopped, thought about it for a minute and then continued,  “I’ve seen you at Kelly’s and Gallagher’s.  If you can find those places, then you can dang sure make it to my piece of paradise. ”  This got me to thinking about posting GPS directions to our place.  Then I thought, “Jeeminy XmAss!! You wouldn’t be able to use a GPS locater at those places because you can’t get phone signal.”  I have signal here.  You can find it without the GPS coordinates.  I bought baby pigs, calves, even a sheep or two without good directions before.  

     I talked to my old buddy Fred Slater today.  He and and a jovial crew were at Lake Texhoma catching Stripers.  They were having fun.  I was jealous.  Why?  It was above 30 degrees on the lake.  It wasn’t last Friday when Gambill’s, Duke and I were there.  You know what?  I’m ready to go back.  We might even need to take Mikey.  But we would need floaties.  

     I judged the NW district Extemp speaking division last night.  There are some things that make me miss teaching.  Speech contests are near the top of the list.  I love hearing good ones, but I also love hearing the ones that make me go “Dang!! I wish could work with this kid for a little while.  They could be good.”  It was evident what kids had ag teachers working with them and which ones were on their own.  There were some very recognizable goat names at this contest (No, I didn’t judge any of them.)  Schovanec (2 of them), Comstock, Darr, etc.  It is my opinion ( which means that it is a FACT), public speaking is a MUST for all kids and quite possibly the best thing that the FFA has to offer.  Awesome.  I would rather listen to a top notch speaker than watch a grand drive at a major.  The rewards are greater from the speech contest.  And there is still a chance that the winning speaker came up with the topic, wrote it (with help from an ag teacher, parent, English teacher, etc., doesn’t matter) and won without politics.  A grand steer(barrow,wether, whatever), that sells for $60, 70, 200, 500K, whatever the hell, it doesn’t matter the price, it CANNOT compare to the skills learned by getting in front of people and presenting a speech.  It is as mastercard used to say, PRICELESS.  But too many ag teachers, parents, etc. spend their time, money and efforts chasing a livestock show banner.  Back up, rethink and redo.  

     I have been told that, lately, my attitude isn’t worth two squirts of duck $h!t and they are sick of hearing me gripe about the weather.  Okay?!?  But the weather affects my goats, grass, crops, hay prices, feed prices, etc and I just so happen to also deal in Ag equipment for a living.  The oilfield only goes so far in keeping the economy going.  I am not bashing or degrading anything relative to energy production.   However, agriculture is the basis of EVERY economy.  People have to eat.  

       We may or may not have dodged the last couple of late season freezes, but I am pretty sure that the freeze of April 23 put the final nail in this year’s grain crop.  Hay?  Please and thank you.  Drought, wind, heat, blizzards, drought (again & again), and now multiple late season freezes in April, makes me think “Hhmm, I bet there is a fishing trip in the future of the Kelln Kartel.”  Actually, I have to prepare for a party on May 11.  No fishing.  Just eating, good times, maybe a story or two.  Kela will graduate the Ok State U on May 4 and the party is on May 11.  Where?  Find it.  If you need a sign, it will be in the front yard.  Trust me.  If they want to be there, they will find it.  It will be fun.  Big fun.  Not a thought or opinion.  

Just FACT!  

Why?  

Because I said so.  

Trust me.  I’ve watched “The Sandlot” and “The Natural” this week, in the same night, between 10 pm & 5am, the same night.  

“You’re killing me Smalls!!”  Do the math.  I didn’t sleep much that night, but I felt good the next morning.  The ironic thing is that I watched Benny the Jet “pickle the beast” and then I got up and saw a doe sale online with a bunch of doe kids out of “the beast”.  How about that?  The goat world is intertwined with the fake world of hollyworld but still tied to the economy of…I give up.  The only common denominator is Kenneth Helms.  He is the star.  Actually, Joe Ed is the rock star.  He is home doing the labor required to raise champion goats while Kenneth is probably in some hotel discussing Thoughts, Opinions and OTHER CRAP with some other old geezer.  How true is this?

All I know is that….well….my knowledge is better dispensed in real life.  GOD bless.  Stay flexible, but not limp.  

     I love going to sales…equipment sales, livestock sales, local sale barn, premium sales, etc.  I especially enjoy the live sales that have killer good food with icy, cold beverages.  Especially sales like Mock has with the authentic Cajun food and the bud light iced down in the stock tanks.  I can then get in the right frame of mind to buy a pair of goats from Ralph and Lex (which both made the sale at Tulsa last year) and watch some high $ goats sell to Texans with deep pockets and grand desires.   I like the adrenaline rush that comes from the anticipation of the one you want coming into the ring and then the bidding begins.  Where to stop?  Some get scared and stop early.  Some think, if nobody else is bidding, then he can’t be very good.  And some get pissed and keep going till they own him.

     Online sales are a little different.  That extended bidding crap wears me out.  I don’t have the time or PATIENCE to sit and wait. 5 minutes, then 4, then 3, now 2, maybe we are finally done, 1 minute….hit refresh. SON-OF-A-FEMALE DOG!  Somebody bid again.  Here goes 5 minutes of my life that I will never get back.  I normally bid immediately.  Just get it over with.  Actually, I use the max bid feature more and more.  Put it in and walk off.  

     Selling goats is different than buying.  Buying is fun.  Selling is stressful.  Live sales require a lot of physical activity and organization on sale day.  Getting goats to and from the ring.  It can be real hard for me as I am normally trying to also buy goats and/or coach people as to what to buy.  This is why my operation requires good help to get my goats in the ring.  Take our Labor Day sale for example.  Tyke makes sure my goats get into the sale ring and back because he wants me bidding on his goats.  For me, it is less stressful to sell in a live sale because it gets done quick and you don’t have much time to think about it.  If something sells too cheap..oh well.  I hope he gets a good home and turns out.  At least he is off the feed bill.

     Selling in an online sale, the physical work is done.  Animals clipped, photos taken, write ups & breeding info sent in.  Now, you just sit and watch and think.  And think.

That one isn’t bringing enough. I wouldn’t give that for that one. I wonder who that bidder # is?  Crap, somebody is paying too much for that one and I wish they would stop.  I wonder if that bidder is one of them that came and looked or called me?  I hope they all come get these pretty quick as I need the pen space and I’m ready to get them off my feed bill.  Will this thing ever end?  I’ve got stuff to do.  

      And my favorite part of an online sale:  after it is over, the new owner calls.  They haven’t called before or came to see the animals but they now own the animal.  They call and ask the question….Is he any good?  RUSM!  It’s too late now.  You should have thought about that before you submitted bids.  Fortunately for me.  Several of these have won banners and made premium sales.  I do a good enough job of not having the animals very bloomy and only half-assed photographed, so they actually look better in real life.

     No matter what, if you are selling live animals and you put them in a sale–online or otherwise, then you better be prepared to sell them.  You can’t worry about the money part of it.  The market will determine what they will bring.  If they are truly good enough, they will turn out and the pay off will come next year.  If you buy one back, then you have to put more feed and time into that animal and take the risk of death, sickness or injury.  Get them off the feed bill and into new homes.  If you are raising good ones, it will eventually pay off.  No matter what method you choose to buy or sell, do your homework.  Study the genetics.  Talk to the breeders and to others familiar with the goats.  Then bid until it hurts.  

Then hit it one more time.  

And again.  

Yes.  It is your bidder # that they want.

Do they take credit cards at this sale?

Now figure out what to tell the wife if she asks.

     I’ve been waiting on a doe to kid.  She lived with Rumour for a couple of weeks last fall.  I knew when I put her in with him and when I took her out, she was obviously bred but I didn’t ever know exactly what day she was due.  Finally, she kidded.  This excites me.  Especially, since she had twin bucks.  

     Finally, I made a decision.  We are leaving the nuts in the Joe Dirt x Rainman kid.  We “kelly” clipped him yesterday to get a good look at him.  I was pleased.  Real pleased.  He will be for sale.  

     Tyke, Tyler, Bill and I then decided to catch Joe Dirt and “kelly” clip him.  We knocked all of that old hair of his top line, neck, chest and belly.  The blades on those clippers can now be used for breakfast as they are toast.  Dirt doesn’t like to eat when it is breeding season, which means that he gets to looking like crap.  He is finally fattening up.  He looks like a heavily used 3 year old buck.  But he acts like he feels better without all of that old nasty buck hair.  As long as he is healthy and siring dang good kids, it doesn’t matter what he looks like at this time.  We did leave his beard.  

     I finally made it down south to pick up some online wether purchases.  They look good.  I also picked up a few extras and delivered to their knew owners.  Brought a real nice doe kid to my house to catch a ride to her new home in Ohio.  Had a fun time looking at and discussing goats on Saturday night with the yankees.  

     I have finally made the decision to slow down when driving through Menard county.  The last 3 times that I have been pulled over in Texas has been in Menard county.  Once by a Menard city patrol, once by a Texas hi po and on Saturday by a Menard county sheriff.  No ticket from the hi-po, but big tickets from the two Menard county employees.  This sheriff was polite and stood and joked with me for several minutes, therefore giving me false hope.  Gambill thought I was going to get a warning.  Something about 80 plus mph didn’t help my cause.  Yep, I get to make a donation to that county coffer.