Over the years, bacon has been mentioned on here quite a bit.  Which is only fitting as bacon might be the world’s most perfect food. 

–It can be a meal unto itself.

–It pairs well with anything.

–Even those on a diet still use bacon (salad or baked tater topping)

–It’s a breakfast food–Bacon & eggs  It’s a lunch food–BLT sandwich and it’s a supper dish–Filet Mignon or a bacon cheeseburger.

–It stores well.

       Anyways, many of you have heard of the 6 degrees of Bacon–Kevin Bacon that is.  There is even some new commercial that plays to the 12 degrees of Kevin Bacon.  (I can’t even tell you what company has this commercial–so much for those advertising $s that they spent)

       As I saw this commercial, I thought “Hunh?  I wonder how many degrees it would take to connect my dumbass to Kevin Bacon?”  So, I typed in a name or two on the internet and walla!  Wow.  That didn’t take long.  

Kevin Bacon played in “The Air I Breathe” with some dude named Evan Parke.  Evan Parke played in “The Replacements” with Jon Favreau.  Jon Favreau is the creater/executive producer of “The Mandalorian”.  Kela Kelln works for “The Mandalorian”.  That didn’t take long.  Now, I know that it is supposed to just connect any actor/actress with Kevin Bacon; but, I was obviously bored at 3:13 am.  

     Now what is Kevin Bacon’s best movie role?   No, no.  You can’t answer “Animal House” as he just had bit roles in that all-time great flick.  And don’t answer “A Few Good Men” as that was the BEST movie in which he played.  This dude has played in a lot of movies but his best roles come down to two different movies–“Footloose” (the 1984 original) or the 1990 classic thriller movie “Tremors”.   Me, I’ll vote for Val McKee on “Tremors”.   

     How come nobody has named a buck Bacon?  Everybody likes bacon.  Bacon works on everything.  etc.   “Live breedings available–Get your doe Bacon wrapped!    Hunh?   Sons could be named Crispy Bacon, Bacon Bits and a really special one could be Filet Mignon.  

     For some reason, I am now craving breakfast.  Yet, there are no diners open at this time.  And I don’t have time to wait as we are hosting a Welder’s Rodeo today, a bovine reprod lab on Thursday then hauling a class and kids to a livestock judging contest, while preparing a couple of kids for the state FFA speech contest.  Oh, and to deliver some goats this weekend.   The end is near.  It’s all good.

(cool thing about this post–I didn’t piss any one person off.  Only a few religious groups that are anti-eating pig.)

      Let’s be real with each other.  I struggled with selling these 4 does.  But my struggle was with the question…What are they worth?  Sass probably needed to stay here but the days of being sentimental left me a year or so ago.  I could have kept the other three and been fine.  Yet, Tammy and I need a mental vacation from the goats.  They are proven and in their prime.  I was hoping that the four of them would bring about $10K.  THANK YOU to all that bid and bought.  

       To be honest, back in the day when we sold a lot of high $ goats, these online sales would find a pile of aluminum cans and a bunch of Funyun crumbs all over the place.  Maybe some honey stuck to the keyboard.  Not anymore.  Now it’s like, “Wow that got up there fast!”  And “I hope they don’t keep bidding too late.”  I know, I’m stupid but I’ve witnessed a lot of changes since Kela first talked us into a goat.  

       In all honesty, the past two months in the goat business has been fun.  We sold some good bucks that went to really good homes.  I sold the majority of the herd to Dallen Skelley and he is excited about the babies that they have on the ground.  Back at the first of February, Tammy and I kidded out a set of does that were all AI bred to Pickup Man.  That was the best couple of days of kidding that I have ever had.  And it is obvious that the people that bought these does had seen these kids.  Yes, I am saying that you might want to gather some Pickup Man semen before it gets really high.  

       We have some deliveries to make.  Then an equipment sale and then possibly sell part of a satellite herd or three.  Holy jeeminy!  The end is near.  In more ways than one.  

       On a different note.  I had a neighboring ag teacher call to check in on me.  What?  He said that he had a dream and that I was pissed at him.  And then I ended up in the hospital.  TF?  

    I replied, “Most of the world knows when I am pissed.  And currently, at this time and day, I truly don’t think that I am pissed at any other human being.  And yes, I’m old enough to be in the hospital but I’m not.”  

      Guess what?   I’m not pissed at any doe goats either.  Yes, go back and read that again.  I actually typed it.  It’s a screwed up world.  Mass hysteria.  Dogs and cats living together. 

       Guess what else?  I did have ONE anonymous texter.  I did not reply.  

People, people, people….seriously, it’s all good and I truly thank each of you (for whatever reason that you read this crap) and I truly appreciate all of the people that we have met through our goat experiences.  Thank you.  

     Yep, they got me.  I had a birthday party on my actual birthday.  I was good with that.  This weekend, I truly thought that we were going to some friends’ anniversary party in Yukon.  Mama wanted a weekend getaway, big fun, alright I’m in.  

        We walked into Grady’s in Yukon, live music playing, big crowd, my kind of deal.  But as I walked in, wait, what the heck?    Students & families from every school that we’ve taught, lots of Okie goat people, friends and family.  Good time with great people.  Large time.  If I had known, I would have worn my kilt.  Yes, I did wear my new hat.  

      All I really know is that the uber & lyft drivers in the greater Yukon area had a profitable night. 

      People, have a good day and a better tomorrow.  

     We are wrapping up all of the semen sales from last week.  There were 4 sales with quite a few lots.  The last of the releases will be sent in today.  Well, except for those that have yet to pay up. 

      I don’t watch hardly any professional sports.  It’s been several years since I watched a nfl game, I don’t remember the last time that I watched an nba game and I didn’t watch a mlb game last year or this year.  I do watch highlights.  

       This morning, I read an interview with Brett Favre.  He stated that he felt like “fewer people were watching professional football because there were too many politics involved.”   Hunh?  No $h!t.!!  The kneeling during the national anthem, the blm crap, whining about this or that…..   shut up and play.  

       As a stock show junkie, one has to wonder if the current state of stock shows will affect the numbers that participate in years to come.  There is no doubt that the top end consumer will always be there.  But we need to remember that the general population doesn’t deal with that top end market.  Most of the world shops at amazon and wal-mart.  Well, and obviously Dollar General as those stores are popping up EVERYWHERE!!

         On the other hand, I still watch college sports.  Some of that political crap has trickled down into the ncaa sports.  But not near as bad.  Tuesday evening, I came in from doing chores.  As chores don’t take as long anymore and it was too windy to do much outside, I was bored, so I flipped on the tv.  Not much on normal tv so I turned on espn+.  I’m glad that I did.  Texas Tech was playing baseball.  Former student Brendan Girton was making his first start as a freshman pitcher for the #8 ranked Red Raiders.  Shattuck schools took the baseball and softball team to Lubbock to watch Brendan make his first start.  This was cool.  The announcers talked about the small hometown from which Girton hailed.  The multiple state championships that this small school has won.  And how cool was it to have that many people there supporting him.  Oh, and they threw in the fact that Shattuck is so small that it doesn’t even have a stop light in it.  I guess it’s a good thing that the announcers didn’t know that our entire county does NOT have a stop light.  

        Better yet, on Wednesday the superintendent received an e-mail from a Texas Tech fan that sat behind the Shattuck kids at the game.  He was a police chief from some town in the greater Lubbock area.  The letter was very positive about how impressed they were with the behavior of the Shattuck students and how much fun the kids had while watching their friend play ball.   It also included how great it would be to be young again.  The email congratulated the community, school and parents for doing a great job of raising young people.  How cool is that? 

         I don’t normally have apprehension.  As a whole, I don’t really care about what others think.  From the first online goat sale in 2006 to the nearing end of our dispersal, I have not had butterflies about a sale.  It is what it is.  When I set the floor price, if it gets a bid, I’m good.  I’m not looking for an appraisal.  Tonight is different.  

       This is it.  4 doe goats.  4 Real?  RUSM?   Yes– for real. No, I’m not shitting u.  I don’t like doe goats.  HOWEVER, I like these 4.  If I didn’t have a paycheck, I could pay the bills with these 4 doe goats.  I’ve hit send and sent it to the showgoats.com crew.

       This stuff is for real.  I’m going to take a deep breath,  hit publish and then think a lot.  I still hate doe goats.  I just don’t hate these.  

    I love watching Chris Farley movies, old SNL re-runs and documentaries.  I’m always in a good mood watching his stuff.  He makes me laugh.  

That’s gonna leave a mark.  I laugh just thinking about it and typing it.  

     Writing this blog reminds me of that.  There has definitely been times that I knew that what I was getting ready to post would leave a mark.  Sometimes the mark was left on me.  Believe you me, there have been several times that I have have been hit hard enough to leave a mark over crap that I wrote on here.  Other times, it was left on the readers or the people that shared it and said, “You need to read this crap!”

      I have had to learn just how many people read this stuff.  It isn’t just goat people.  It is cross-over bathroom reading for those involved with other species, ag teachers, family, friends, people that I have never met, people that don’t like me, etc.  

       When you get a text (with a name) from so-and-so that has a collection of rusty ice picks and they heard that I might need one that can pierce a fiddy year old sack.   HAAAAA!!!

        Or, “I have not met you but I know you don’t like texting and I know how straight-forward you can be…..”     My response– Thank you.  

      The fiddy b-day was fun.  I had fun.  Like wearing a pimp shirt with a chive baby yoda t-shirt, my new hat and the KILT.  Yes, the kilt was on full display.  I didn’t have so much fun that I did anything that will leave a mark.  

I also didn’t get paid.  

     A month or so ago, I wrote a blog about Clayton Washmon donating one of his premium sale checks to a little girl fighting  cancer.  A reader reached out to me and said that he was sending a check for the family.  He knew the struggle of fighting cancer and wanted to help.  Seriously.  How cool is that?  Today, I delivered the letter/check from Dave Ryan to the dad of that girl.  That dad shook his head and said, “Their is a lot of good in this world.  Thank you.”  How true is that statement?   Even though there is negativity in the stock show world, livestock people are the best!  I might not like a couple of you crooked, money-hungry bastards but the other 99.98% are wicked awesome!!  I mean…simply the best.  

Thank you Dave Ryan.  This is one of the coolest things ever!  This is the kind of mark that I like.  

      For you goaters, if you don’t know, you might want to check out the goats being raised by Dave & Beth Ryan in Illinois.  They bought a wicked cool black headed Lasagna buck from me last year and they also bought Hitman from the Milligan firm.  They are going to be offering some good goats. 

       At times, I fear that I have left a skid mark here or there.  There have been posts that I knew were going to hit the industry like a skid mark in a pair of white underwear.  I could go off on a post about the negatives and all of you that have reached out to me about sideways judges leaving skid marks on our shows.  But I won’t.  Not tonight.  Just remember that a skid mark, although not a pleasant deal, can still be a guide.  If you are going to re-wear dirty underwear, just remember that the yellow stain goes towards the front and the skid mark to the rear.  

        In closing, thank you to all of you.  For real.  With all of the negativity in this world, there is a time to laugh, learn something new and love.  And there is always a time to help others.  Truly, thank you for leaving a mark, not only on me but others.  We are in this together.  And together, we can leave a mark. 

      Here it comes, rolling at me fast.  FIDDY!!   In all honesty, April 8, 2021 is just another dang day.  Yet, I never planned on making it to fiddy.  But, here I am the night before turning 50.  

        I have tried to schedule an appointment for new glasses.  I need them.  Bifocals are a distinct possibility.  I have lost weight but a lot of that was muscle.  I have also tried to schedule a palpation exam.  Yes, the old prostate check.  Luckily, I haven’t been able to schedule that deal….yet.  

       Speaking of palpations.   I had a gas pump encounter with our local vet.  During high school, I was working at the Ellis County Animal Hospital when this vet was hired.  30 plus years later, he has continued building a successful practice.  We talked a bit and I mentioned that he wasn’t dressed for palpating cows.  He was headed to OKC for a bi-annual shoulder and knee injection.  I made a comment that palpating all of those cows weren’t good for a shoulder.  He then told me that he had recently gone over his records to see just how many cows that he had palpated in his career.   I knew the # was high as he is really good with bovine AI & ET.  But, I’ll be honest 1.2 million was a bit higher than I expected.  I’m also REAL sure that his records are spot on.  That is a lot of crap to deal with.  

      I recently got one of my favorite texts of all time.  A lady that I have NEVER met recently purchased several lots of buck semen.  Then, she bought a few more straws this week.  She texted me to see if I could release the newest purchase to add to her previous purchases which were to be shipped this week.  She had a copy of her paid receipt, etc.  I called REI to release these straws, but there was no answer.  So, I replied back that I called, no answer but I would get it released.  And then she replied:  

“Thanks.  I was going to call too but wanted to make sure you could get me laid first”   

      I just happened to have my phone in hand when the text came through.  I read it.  Wait.  What?  Then re-read it.  I laughed out loud so hard that my co-teacher said, “I never hear you laugh like that unless something is really messed up!”

I handed her my phone and said, “Read this.”  She did and then she laughed out loud while asking, “Do you know this person?”   NO.

     And then the PAID with a covered face emoji was sent.   Auto-correct strikes again.   I told the nice lady that I had gotten a hold of REI and it was ready to ship.   Oh and I am still laughing.   She was embarrassed.  

      Here’s my question.   How often does she use the term “laid” that auto-correct changed it from paid to laid?    

This kind of stuff did not happen fifty years ago.  I can’t wait for the next couple of years.  Probably not another fifty. 

      A whole bunch of the livestock showing world revolves around one’s perspective.  County or Major.  Seriously, what are your goals?  Are they your goals or your kids’ goals?  Perspective.  Let’s be honest, over the past couple of years, I have had to look at the stock show industry through numerous different perspective’s.  Let’s take a look at several different perspectives that I have witnessed in the past few months.   

        The first one involves my youngest brother.  He and his wife are raising a daughter and a son in Shattuck, America.  His daughter decided that she wanted to get a show animal.  They let her choose what species.  She chose a wether goat.  Daniel made it real clear that he wanted a decent project that fit a budget.  From his perspective, he wanted her to have success if she worked at it but he didn’t want to lose a pile of cash if she didn’t do her part.  From Tammy & I’s perspective, we were kind of like “Dang!  Is this the right path for her?  I mean the Kelln name carries a bit of baggage and certain expectations.”  In the end, we followed Daniel’s lead.  I put on my ag teacher hat and Kevlee and I agreed to terms on a little triplet wether that “had a chance”. 

      I’m happy to say that she did her part and took great care of this animal.  She still has a ways to go on becoming a stellar showman yet she improved every time.  Kevlee and Bugs made the county premium sale.  She placed high enough to have a chance for the Woodward District premium sale.  But, not quite.  When it came time for OYE, I actually recommended that they just go watch.  As a family, they decided to go show.  Even knowing that the odds were not in their favor, I’m glad that they did.  Kevlee watched and learned.  She felt what it was like to show in a class with 50+ goats.  And when she came out of the ring, without a ribbon, she correctly critiqued her showmanship.  We are proud of her and look forward to watching her career as we go forward.  

       The next perspective also happened while at OYE.  Back in February, Schneberger called me after they had won the SW District.  He told me that they probably wouldn’t take that wether to OYE.  Then, the sandbagger shows up with that same wether.  We were having a chat about goats, mindset, showing, everything (and for those of you that know either of us, it was loud)  and Jared said, “Sometimes, Kelln, it’s all about perspective.”  We agreed.  From his perspective, his family has been to the top of the mountain.  And he spent some coin to do it.  I remember when he couldn’t hardly get her placed in a class much less win a class.  Now, they are dragging a home-raised one and it really didn’t make a rat’s ass if it won grand, a class or just got a ribbon.  No matter what, they were going to be fine and worse case scenario, they could go home and look at an OYE and a couple of Tulsa grand trophies.  Congrats to them! 

       I probably wrestle with the perspective issues more than anybody else in this game.  I’ve had to be a parent, an ag teacher, a friend, a jock, a breeder, an uncle and sometimes, all of the above.  I wish that I didn’t know some things.  I’m glad that I learned other things.  I realize that a lot of the stuff that goes on in our industry, I played a role–small or large, I was there.  

       From a parent’s perspective–Tammy and I are both REALLY glad to be ex-stock show parents.  We are glad that our kids were raised in this environment.  We are happy for what they accomplished.  But, the banners can get in the way.  Their work ethic and connection’s across the country are truly priceless.  Our kids are in the real world and were given a good launching point.  We are proud of that.  

       From a breeder’s perspective–I’m tired.  I’m tired of putting in CIDRs, unsuccessful flushes and dealing with crap like DOE goats.  I hate taking pictures of goats, despise videoing goats and would rather stab myself in the scrotum with a rusty ice pick than have to answer another anonymous text about “more pics or videos” of a damn goat.  There is a special place in hell for you anonymous texters.  From one perspective to another, a top-shelf breeder like Maycon Stork will or will not back me up on this.  Just read his write ups.  It’s miserable!  Yet, there are other breeders that are salivating at sending you another picture of a pimped out common bastard that they can’t wait to cash your check.  

      From a jock’s perspective–Maybe my mood would be different if I had cashed in when we were winning A LOT!  But, I didn’t–cash in that is.  Win a lot–we did.  Oh well!  Feed, supplements, tail pop, etc.  I got a lot of cookies, cold beer and a steak every now and  then.  I had a lot of fun gathering a lot of goats for a lot of really cool kids and families.  AND, even though we kept it clean, I have to look back and ask “At what cost?  Where was the line?  Was this fun?”

      From an ag teacher’s perspective–I was an ag teacher when this goat deal started.  A couple of girls (Kela, Danielle Litzenberger & Kourtney Childers) talked me into showing a couple of wethers.  Dani and Kela became hooked.  And the rest is history.  I will show any species if that is what a kid is willing to invest their time and work.  It was a bit of a hurdle for me at OYE this year.  I was asked to look at a goat on the next aisle from our stalls.  On that row was a bunch of big-time wethers.  I came back to our stall.  A freshman boy and his wether were ready to go to the ring.   He asked how his goat looked.    I looked at him and said, “Tate, you are going to the ring against $100K plus worth of wethers that each have four people fitting legs and drenching.  And dude, you have Darrell the bottle baby wether that won your first county grand champion and made your first district premium sale.  Darrell doesn’t owe us a thing.  And you have a worn-out old ag teacher that is a has-been in the wether showing world.  You better show your tail off!”  He did but it wasn’t enough.  It’s at this point, that my jock and parent perspectives conflict with my ag teacher view point(s).  

     I could go into the feed sales, additives, etc.  Trust me when I say that there is a whole industry that would like me to shut the eff up!  I will…. for now.    

     Friends–DUDE!!!  Without a doubt, the best part of all of these experiences are the friends that WE have all across the country.  Seriously, we have friends on either coast that we met through this industry.  We have friends that literally live 30 miles away that we would not have known if it wasn’t for showing goats.  With regards to the friends accumulated from the goat industry….well Clark, it’s like the jelly of the month club.  It’s the gift that just keeps on giving.  

      Keep your head right and your perspectives right.  I have and I haven’t.  Trust me.  There ain’t nobody in the industry that has all of the perspectives that I have.  Damn!  I just wish espn had a show talking about showing stock.  I could make Charles Barkley look calm. 

      I know that you people log on here looking for something.  Something goat related, sure.  Something funny.  Yeah.  Something new.  You bet.  Something radical…..of course.  Something that will make you look at a pringle’s can in a WHOLE new light…yeah….that too.

       I could come up with something new, everyday.  But, this isn’t my job.  This blog doesn’t pay any bills.  I have other responsibilities.  Probably one of my biggest failures is not finding a way to cash in on this deal.  It is crazy as to how many and who reads this stuff.  In reality, this is not a goat blog.  It is an entertainment site.  

       As I am typing this crap, I have the first of 4 online dispersal sales.  I am laughing while typing, talking on the phone and thinking of various semen collections…….goat, human, swine and bovine.    Time to stop.

Have a good one and a better tomorrow.  

     I don’t hate the goat industry but I truly need a break from it.  And let’s be honest, there are plenty in this industry that need a break from me.  

     There is a lot about the current state of the industry that I do not like.  I have been real clear about this.  All of the $s, politics, enhancements, photoshopping, etc. reminds me of a pringles can.  

     Both sexes can screw a pringles can, but neither can do it well.  Some may do it better than others but no matter… either way, it still ain’t right.  

     I hope Ben gets a fat check.  I truly do.  But, I will still say this deal is BS.  And I am right.  If he gets that fat check that means that some marketing firm, or group angling for advertising, or…….and I have came up with a bunch of different scenarios of who might be the driving money behind all of this…..because there is NOT some wether legitimately selling for $70k without a BUNCH of help.  And if it is a marketing firm, feed company, reprod company, etc. behind it….well, here comes the pringles can.  I don’t think….       that is where……      it is supposed to go.   OWWW!!!  Somebody is going to get screwed, somehow, somewhere.  Once again, this isn’t good for the industry.

       The following story is not a bash on a friend of mine, nor the product nor the current owners of the product.  It is just a true story but since it is 2021 and people get butt-hurt like they tried to shove a pringles can………..

A decade plus several years ago, a friend of mine named Jack Staats came up with a feed additive.  He had “enhanced” an existing product and came up with a cool name.  Milligan and I were the one’s dealing the stuff.  Staats had it made.  Milligan sold it and I handled all of the feeding/drenching instructions.  I used it, but only on certain animals.  It was not then and is still not a cure for all animals. (NO additive or drench is–legally)     I kept telling Staats–it needs to be in a bucket.  This little silver packet is a pain in the ass. 

      His reply was always the same–“I want to keep it small and affordable for the kids.”  My reply was always the same as well, “Jack, it isn’t the kids paying for it.”  Guess what?  He kept it in small packets right up until he sold his Gold Dust product to a bigger deal.  And then guess what?  They put it in buckets and upped the price.  Great!  Guess what, the adults bought more and more of it.  I’m fine with that.  And yes, they also sell it in the packets.

       My point is this.  I too want to keep it all about the kids but let’s get real, that boat sailed a LONG time ago.  And after re-reading the BS post and reading this one, well, I don’t think this blog is really for the kids either.  

       You know what, I think I’m just going to go to the pantry to get me some pringles.  And if that can is empty, I might just cry.  Why cry?  At least a can of pringles is still affordable.  And, I want a pringle or three.  And I really don’t know what to do with an empty pringles can.  

Pray for me.  

Have a good one and a better tomorrow.