This time of year causes me to have flashbacks.  It is the time of year for the Arizona National Livestock Show.  By far, my favorite stock show.  Why?  Fun.  Lots of fun showing, spending time with kids, eating, fun with friends, fun.  It isn’t the drive there or worse, the drive home, that I enjoy.  Simply, I’ve had a lot of fun in Phoenix over the years.  I didn’t cancel my rooms till the week before Christmas.  But, none of my people entered.  So, I haven’t been since 2019.  TWO YEARS!!

–Food–When traveling, I like to eat at new and excellent places.  My Mother’s in Phoenix is an all-favorite.  The HUGE turkey pot pie is life altering.  The loaves of bread.  Oh, gastric paradise.  LoLo’s chicken is a dining treat.  La Pinata & Carolina’s are mouth watering.  Excuse me, I just drooled on the keyboard.  However, Ag teacher Extraordinaire, Mr. CL McGill is currently in Phoenix and has been sending me dining updates–old faves and even a new one.    And yes, there is a Pappadeaux’s in Phoenix.  I love that place.  I’m getting the sweats just thinking about all of the fun nights dining at Pappadeaux’s in Phoenix.  Birthday parties, banner celebrations & drowning some sorrows in crawfish etouffee.  I love those kind of flashbacks.

–Chilean–Tonight, I am sitting at home alone, watching a Law & Order rerun.  Tammy is in Houston with her mother.  Prayers for continued healing. This L&O episode deals with Chilean official.  Chilean being the keyword. 

Flashback–In 2014, I reserved a room at Pappadeaux’s.  Yes, it was a victory party as Bree Taylor had the grand wether and all of our showman made the premium sale.  But, this huge table of friends was what made this dining experience.  The highlight was Brandon THE Bruce trying, let me emphasize trying, to order the Chilean sea bass.  First off, Brandon doesn’t eat much food that swims.  But he was going to give it a go and try the Shillying, Chili sea bass, the shelloneanon sea bass, Shill-I-Ann and finally he just pointed at the menu.  The kids and I had so much fun with Brandon over this.  And him being the great dude, he just rolled with it, ate it, admitted it wasn’t bad and still laughs with us over it.  Oh–the flashbacks of how young those kids were and now–well, now, they are getting grown up and successful.  Great kids!

–Cool flashback about that Phoenix trip.  Bree’s grand goat SIFTED at the Lone Star Elite Jackpot just 6 weeks earlier.  SAME judge!  Shouldn’t have sifted.  Shouldn’t have won grand at the LSEJ but dang sure shouldn’t have sifted.  I’m just saying that the LSEJ judge was NOT on his A game that day in San Angelo.  I left Angelo that day, drove north at a high rate of speed, thinking to myself, “There is NO way that he can EFF up two shows in a row.  Oh well.  Let’s go show and have fun.”  I was right–both times.  

And speaking of flashbacks–wether a decade ago or like Van Halen–RIGHT NOW–Brandon THE Bruce still makes the best damn chex mix EVER!   EVER!!!  Wether it is a Tabasco or a Sriracha flavor—wicked awesome!  

Other flashback’s from the tripS to Phoenix include: blizzards near Flagstaff, frozen fog in Ruidoso; Kela, Cody Ott, Travis Stroble & I listening to the Boise St./UofO game on the radio as we drove south to avoid a blizzard (can’t wait to watch espn when we get home); Brady Thomas & crew experiencing New Year’s Eve in Tempe after an OSU bowl win; my dad, brother Jake and friend/Uncle Ronnie watching Duke (11 years old) rolling a set of scales out of the barns and we then loaded them into our trailer.  My dad, “Duke, what are you doing with those scales?”  

Duke, “They’re mine.”

Dad, “You stealing them?”

Duke, “Nope, won em.”  I then had to explain to Dad that the grand barrow got the scales.  Duke is still that dry today. And we still have the scales in the barn.  We don’t need them anymore but we still have them.   

Mcdonalds flashback–Yes, McDonald’s.  I had a friend/former student call tonight about the fact that we didn’t go to Phoenix.  We agreed that we will have to remedy this next year.  In the conversation, he mentioned, “If you hear a bunch of noise and a moron talking, we are ordering $40 worth of cheseburgers.”

Wait? 

What?

The only time that I’ve ever ordered $40+ of McD’s cheeseburgers was one night in OKC, while dealing with a serious contact high right  after the “final Motley Crue tour”.  I paid a cabbie to drive us around and we bought a whole big bait of burgers at the Mickey D’s drive through near Bricktown.  Ironically, Brandon THE Bruce was there as well.  Trust me.  The real life story is good.  

Here’s to all of you having happy flashbacks for whatever occasion.  I had some people bringing some does to my place today.  I shudder.  I quickly remembered why I wanted rid of doe goats.  I HATE doe goats!  Maybe I have some ptsd.  I am NOT making light of ptsd but if you have ever had doe goats, well, then you understand.  There is a lot of trauma and stress involved with these creatures.  

Peace Out!  And have a good one tomorrow. 

     Got a couple of does here that belong to students.  They came into heat yesterday and today so I let a couple of these young bucks see some live action.  

      We’ve got both kids home for a few days.  Tammy and I now feel like we have successfully raised a pair of adults.  One is 31 and the other is 21.  A true sign of success is that we use Kela’s Netflix account and we are a part of Duke’s Spotify family plan.  

      Tonight, we will attend Christmas Eve mass in Shattuck followed by the annual Kelln Family Christmas feast and festivities.  My favorite event of the year.  

      Merry Christmas to all of you!   

       In all seriousness, it has ended up being a fun yet, un-productive weekend.  I think?

      At 7 pm Friday night, I was finishing up feeding cattle and cracking my first cold one.  I was thinking about all that I was going to do on Saturday.  An hour later my head was spinning.  Go or no go?  Road trip?  Then at 5 am Saturday, I was getting in a pickup with Steven & Kyler Rogers and headed south of Stephenville, TX.  WTF?   People, this is how you see new stuff.  You just don’t pass up an opportunity.  

       They were going to pick up bred-does at Payton Williams.  I had seen pics of his bucks BUT  I wanted to see what they looked like in real life.  Real glad that I made the trip.  For numerous reasons.  

One—Kyler zipped up his “wooter” in his zipper at a quick stop in Jacksboro.  No, I didn’t see it.  But he told me & the rest of the quick stop about it, asked if I wanted to see and Steven told me about dealing with it.  You can’t make this stuff up. 

Two–Let’s be real.  This trip took me to the Hard 8 BBQ.  We didn’t eat much.  Just some smoked turkey, bologna, brisket, damn good jalapeno sausage, a thick pork chop dipped in lemon, garlic butter sauce (so good, you need to be naked to eat it), pork ribs and some poppers.  And I had ONE shiner bock beer in a frozen fish bowl of a mug.  Why one?   I’m still asking myself that question.  It was the single best beer that I have had in 2021 (and I’ve had several that rank really high) and I wasn’t driving.  

Three–I never drove.  I don’t remember a trip since 2008 that I didn’t drive.  AT ALL!!   Normally, I always drive.  It’s a new world.  

Four–I didn’t write a check.  What?  A goat trip and I didn’t buy something.  NOTHING.  

        Sunday found found me west of Fairview at Tammy’s family Christmas.  Great group of people that LOVE the grandkids!!   This is one of the two or three times a year that I know that I have to hug somebody AND take a damn picture.  My FAVORITE mother-in-law deserves a hug and she loves a yearly picture with the family.  

        Those of you that truly don’t know me, only think of me as a borderline mean, confrontational and stand-offish bastard.  And you would be correct.  Except, that I’m not mean.  I love witnessing how close my kids are with BOTH sets of grandparents, uncles, aunts and cousins.  Our family isn’t perfect…not at all. However, it somehow works out quite well.  Almost perfectly.  Well, except for the grandkids.  And they are damn sure perfect!  

       Oh, this is a goat blog?!?!?    Back to those bucks that Payton Williams owns.  I have met him before.  I don’t know him.  He wasn’t there when we loaded does.  I don’t owe him a thing, he doesn’t know I was there and he doesn’t owe me a thing.  Well.  He might now.  

I got to look at and handle Tag Me In and Hidden Treasures.  I had seen the pics and videos.  When Rogers asked me about breeding to these bucks and told me the price…my reply, “Hunh. You won’t get hurt.”  

I stand corrected.  Money well spent.  This pair of bucks are legit.  

I need to stop.  The week coming forth looks fun.  Kela is home.  Duke is within a couple of hours.  

Horseshoes & Shamrocks for all.  And I truly hope that tomorrow is better than today.  

Camouflage Lingerie

Ostrich D-Day  (don’t try to guess–only one explanation)

Gas Station Sushi

Road Trip

Don’t Ask

Spur o’ the Moment

Had to

Tell ya later

Why you all still readin’ this crap?!?!?

      Am I the only one that hits submit on a blog, comments on a book face post or says stuff in real life AND as soon as I do it–think to myself–“Self, we will deal with the aftermath later.”   Just me?  Okay.  

      And once I decide that I am fine with the consequences, bring it.  And in the goat industry, I have had to deal with some consequences.  In the real world, yeah, sometimes there as well.  Always, I am better for it.  And I was pretty much always on point.  Even though, I MAY have been out of line.  But, probably not.  Clear enough?  

      I’ve always been a fan of educational tours.  I doubt that I will ever top the 2014 Gold Key Tours on back2back days of the John Deere combine factory and then the tractor factory with a former student/customer and another good friend.  As a student, employee and teacher, I have been on some really cool and educational tours. 

      Our latest tour made me think–a lot.  Although it has been in the works for several years, Rock Creek Distillery is now open in Shattuck, America.  They are currently making Schultz vodka and several flavors of Dead Parrot rum. Several years from now, the bourbon will be ready.  

       The owners are native Shattuck.  I currently have or have had all of their kids as very active FFA members.  Excellent families.  

      For a couple of weeks, I thought about this tour.  Then, one morning, I saw Jason Swanson, one of the owners/head distiller.  I asked him if it was even legal for us to do this.  And if you don’t know Jason, the answer is always “colorful”.   BK kind of colorful.  Basically, the kids could see everything EXCEPT the tasting room.  

       At this point, I decided to take my Food Science class which is made up of 15 seniors (four of which, upon polling,  had already been to the distillery.)  Now, I decided to tell the school administration what we were up to.  

       Historically, I have always prescribed to the “Don’t ask, do it and then wait on the, don’t do that again” school of thought.  An emphatic YES was the reply.  Why?  Because of the science involved.  I was thinking about the ag products and business side of things.  They brought up the science.  Wicked! 

        Here’s a brief synopsis of what we learned. 

With passion in his voice and demeanor, Jason discussed:

–agricultural products    All of their sugar and molasses for rum comes from one farm in Louisiana.  All of the wheat, corn & rye used to make vodka or bourbon is grown near Shattuck on Schultz/Swanson farms.  He also discussed the DDG, where it goes now and where it will go as the distillery grows.  

–the science of distilling, boiling temps, hard water, osmosis, etc.  How changes in temps make bourbon move in and out of the wood as well as why barrels are charred.  I could go on and on.  I feel like this is all improper grammar and… 

–engineering of the plumbing and the pots, the heated jacket for the tote full of molasses, how the bottling and labeling process operates, etc.  

–legalities–licensing, getting labels approved, taxes (if you are buying 80 proof, you are probably getting 78 proof.  Why?  Because when tested, if labeled 80 proof and it tests 80.1–HUGE tax fines for every tenth!!)  Once again, just another example of your government bending us over. 

–history–we discussed prohibition and how various entities all worked together to end it.  Throw in some facts that these drinks have been made for thousands of years and why some products were/are used.  Some/all of this ties to marketing. 

–marketing–This might have been the funnest part.  He has ideas and plans.  He told us that in his opinion, the 2nd best marketing campaign in alcohol sales history is……….

 Tito’s   Why?  Because of their little hang tang on the cap that mentions “gluten-free”.  Duh?  All distilled products are gluten-free.  But, the general public doesn’t think about it.  Legally, they can NOT print it on the label.  Yet, they are allowed to make a hang tag.  

He allowed that the best marketing campaign belongs to Dos Equis.  Here’s a nod to C Jason Spence of Dos Equis airlines.  The most interesting man in the world.  The ads not Spence.  Well, he might be as well.  Definitely the most interesting auctioneer in the goat world.   On a side note, Swanson allowed how he has actually met the Dos Equis most interesting man in the world and smoked cigars with him.  “Good guy. Fun Dude.”  

–economics–This was so good.  Financing or the lack thereof until you have sold X amount.  What 25,000 rum bottles cost pre-pandemic?  What a vodka bottle costs in order to get it out of a shipping container that is sitting off the coast in 2021?  Yes, it can be done.  Labor costs, ads, etc, etc, etc.  Retail prices and the producer’s percentage, the distributor’s cut and what is left for the retail shelf.  He was very open with the kids about the economics.   Complete with here is why you don’t do “this” because I was stupid at that age kind of talk and you need to listen to me because I’ve been there.   Oh, did I mention that his middle daughter was in this class?   

–education–He allowed that he had a few near-death experiences, watched a lot of videos and then went to Louisville to a school.  He stressed the importance of “talking to people” in the industry.  Ask questions!  People, this applies to any industry.  These people have been successful in several different industries.  And there isn’t a college degree among them.  Just a lot of work ethic, desire, willingness to learn and a barrel (get it) of common sense.  

     Without a doubt, a very educational tour.  So, so good.  

To answer some questions.  

Yes, the administration went on the tour with us. 

No, I did not drive a yellow bus and park in front of the distillery.  However, the local cop called the principal and asked “Why are a bunch of the seniors driving to the alcohol factory?”  

Yes, we got to smell the start of the mixing process–sugar, molasses, yeast.  Yes, we got to smell some bourbon that will be ready in less than 5 years (so good!)  

No, there wasn’t any tasting.  

Only in Shattuck.  Sure.  

Yes, I have more stories.

In all seriousness, if any of you bored-ass readers are in the greater Shattuck area, hit me up.  I’ll get you a tour.  I’ll gladly show my buddy Frazier the educational side of this deal.  He hasn’t drank in years but will love the science and art behind the process.  One does not have to imbibe in order to enjoy the efforts that go into providing products such as these.  I look forward to using some Schultz vodka to make a mule or three with Uncle Ron Simonson.  As for you bourbon dudes, I patiently wait for the time when Kester, Heshelman and the Brem crew sit down with me for a tasting.  (this Swanson dude is a bourbonite–it will be way, wicked good stuff).  We might even let Boyer & Schoovy take part.  TravASS will love the rum.  Kratzer…..well!  This stuff is good tasting.  We will just have to schedule a time when there are drivers.  No uber in the Greater Ellis County region.  So, we will have to plan accordingly.  

      In all seriousness, look at the educational opportunities that surround us.  Research.  Learn.  Even if you don’t like the topic, learn about it.  

Get smarter.  Get better.  I try.  

       Different kind of weekend.  Friday night found Tammy and I at her HPTC adult ed division Christmas Party.  Saturday night found us at the Shattuck Public Schools Christmas party.  The superintendent cooked fajitas for all of the staff.  The head custodian, Lourdes, made all of the salsas.  Way cool!!  What did your superintendent do this weekend?

      In between, Tammy and I hauled a trailer load of furniture to Weatherford, OK to move Duke into his first house.  He will now be working on wind turbines in the greater Custer county region.  Duke was waiting on us with his girlfriend and his buddy, Riley Girton.  The unloading went quick.  During the unloading, Tammy and I gave Duke his 21st birthday present.  Wicked cool piece of art that measures out in the 9mm range.  We then went and ate lunch.  

     After lunch, it was now time for Tammy and I to head back to Fargo.  Wait.  What?  Duke was also heading back to Fargo. At lunch he was making notes of what kind of household products to buy. This kid was amped about moving into his first house.  I guess months of living in New Mexico and then in a Motel 6 in Snyder, TX had him ready to have a steady place.  So, he drove to our piece of paradise, loaded his pickup and went back to Weatherford.  He was ready to settle in and he wanted ALL of his personal stuff–European skull mounts of deer, a Woodward District Grand wether goat bench and books.  Yes, books.   Those of you that have been around Duke may not know or understand this but Duke is a reader.  Lots of Louis L’amour if you are wondering.  

His mother even asked, “Son,  you need all of those books right now?” 

Duke replied, “Yes, I’m in my own place now and I might need to re-read some of these.”

Dragon lady, “I’m glad that you want your books but THIS is a priority?  Right now?”

He then replied, “Mom, I have had two books with me everywhere that I’ve been.  My bible and Lonesome Dove.”  Excuse me while I wipe a tear from my eye.  

      My dad has long asserted that Kelln males should be buried alive at age 15 and not dug up again until they are 25, at which point they are now productive and decent people.  He’s not entirely wrong.   

      Sunday afternoon found me going to Sweet’s to pick up a young buck prospect.  NO DOES!!  I had a family riding with me.  They are on fast-track to learn all of this goat info.  As we drove back towards home, I dispensed some old-school goat history lessons.  Upon arrival to Fargo, we went to the basement to look at some pictures.  Tammy broke out Kela’s FFA scrapbook.  Whew!!  We were now traveling down Memory Lane.  L&W boer goats, Ralph Shafer, Kelly Meat Goats, Harbour Livestock, the high seller of the FIRST ever Pfeiffer wether sale ($1,400 if you are wondering), Helms, Gallagher, Lex Lehmberg, etc.  I hadn’t seen this scrapbook in years.  Cool.  Wicked Cool.  

      One of the worst decisions ever made in the FFA was to allow portfolios instead of scrapbooks.  These portfolios are lifeless and have no meaning to the State FFA Degee Recipient.  Who gives a sack of monkey crap about a bio or essay about my sae.  Pics, pics and the paraphernalia that matches up with the pics.  

    I cooked supper tonight.  Shrimp, scallops, garlic butter taters and salad.  Wait.  I didn’t cook the salad.  The rest was edible but I shouldn’t be allowed to cook inside.  Leave me near a grill.  (I made a mess)

Random thoughts–Camouflage Lingerie.  Yellowstone was better this week.  Gas Station Sushi.  Hair sells but structure & balance never go out of style when gathering banners or cashing checks.  

Ostriches.  Yes, a big bird called an ostrich.  

      Everybody has their vice.  I struggle with one more than others….Mountain Dew.  Yes, I enjoy getting all jacked up on Mt. Dew.  Haaa!  Not the vice that you would think. 

      Growing up, I didn’t drink much pop.  Just on occasional one here or there.  Unless, I had a stomach issue.  At that point, Mom would break out the 7 UP.   I’ve never had the jones for a Dr. Pepper, unlike others in my immediate family.  In college, I drank some Pepsi.  Later in life, a vanilla coke.  And then, early one morning, I hit up a Mountain Dew.  And not just any Mt. Dew.  It needs to be Dew from the fountain with about a 3/8 of a cup edible ice.  Yes, ice small enough that I can eat it.  I don’t care for it out of a can or a bottle.  It just isn’t the same.  And yes, some quick stops have their fountains set on a little bit stronger mix.  Across the state, I know which ones to stop at.  

      I only imbibe on this addiction, early in the morning.  Normally about 6:30.  Never after 10 am.  And I only want one per day.  And actually, I only have 2 or 3 per week.  If you have one every day, the taste isn’t as crisp and the caffeine/sugar rush isn’t as stout.  If I go a week and then have one, I can literally feel my eyes dilate and the capillaries swell up a bit.  Stock shows is when I crave a Mountain Dew the most.

     In March of ’19, I dislocated a hip.  I was told to abstain from caffeine.  Which I did.  I quit drinking gallons of iced tea per day.  Quit the dew.  Drinking coffee has never been a thing for me, so that wasn’t hard to stay away from.  The 2 years of ONLY having 3 Mt. Dews was hard.  

       Then, last spring, on a judging trip, I spied a slushee machine that had a Mountain Dew flavor.  Well, that would be okay.  Oh!  It was so good.  

       Then, there was another quick stop with a Dew slushee.  So good.  Now, I know where to stop to get a Mountain Dew slushee.  Except it is amazing at how often the Dew slushee is NOT ready to serve.  What in the hell?  I don’t want the other flavors that have a green light.  

      Anyways, the Mountain Dew slushees have turned into a gateway drug for me.  It led me right back to the fountain.  Oohh!!  The rush!   And after several months of getting jacked on the Dew, I now realize that I have to monitor myself.  

      You want to know something that I can live without?  Do ya?  I will tell you.  DOE goats.  I don’t miss them.  No addiction problems there.  

      It’s Friday.  Have a good one and a stellar weekend.  

        The u of o has got their new coach hired, so now things can get back to normal in Oklahoma.  The news can go back to reporting new covid variants and the # of cases.

         Okie State now has to go play Notre Dame.  Not sure if I’m going or not.  At this point in the season and after watching saturday’s Big 12 title game, I have a lot of unanswered questions.  How did OSU win 11 games this year?  How did Baylor not win by 40?  And at the end, how did Okie State NOT win that game?

        Shattuck got beat in the semi-finals.  Not where they wanted to end but still good.  So much success over the past decades that a semi-finals loss feels like a failure.  Too many injuries.

          I did watch a bit of that cyber monday online semen sale last week.  That has to be best semen sale ever.  Lots of dollars changing hands for goat juice.  I did enjoy reading some of the write ups.  TWSS list of winners–“Possibly a county fair contender or two as well..”  Nice!

        Duke turned 21 last week.  He went to make his first “legal” 6 pack purchase.  He was a little bit miffed that they didn’t ID him.  

       Just some random thoughts that are rolling around through my skull as we enter this last month of 2021.  

December 2.  I’ve never had a goat with coccidiosis this late in the year.  Of course, it was damn neart 80 degrees today.  With NO wind!  I should have gone fishing.  

       One of the greatest movies ever made is a holiday movie–Christmas Vacation.  I love that movie.  So many memorable lines and moments from that flick. 

“Yule log.   

Tis the season to be merry.  That’s my name.  No $h!t!”  IYKYK

However, if you watch the opening animated scene–watch the cartoon Santa Claus.  Watch him closely.  There is no doubt that this cartoon Santa and the evil magician from Frosty the Snowman have the same eyes, nose and mustache.  No doubt!  Somebody just cut and pasted.  Or just added a beard and belly to transform the evil magician into Santa Claus.

       Although I despise the u of o fans, I have never been anti-Bob Stoops.  He was a heckuva coach, word has always been that he is a pillar of their local church (attends Mass everyday) and now, he has stepped in to help their school and team.  As a parent, if I had a kid getting recruited by the u of o, and Coach Stoops walks in, it would be hard not to nudge a kid that direction.  He has a 20 year proven track record AND is once again showing that he is a stand up guy willing to do the right thing.  And no, I don’t think that he will be their long term coach.  He’s just doing what needs to be done, when it needs to be done and showing how it needs to be done.  

      Speaking of living a really fun life.  How about Tim McGraw?

I have always kind of enjoyed most Tim McGraw songs but I have also always thought….”That dude has a helluva set of song writers that write songs to fit his talent because he just has a decent amount of talent.”  I will still stand by that statement.  But I like his songs.  If you want to argue, I give you exhibit A–Indian Outlaw.  Stupid song that I listen to every time that it comes on the radio. 

“You can find me in my wig wam

I’ll be beatin’ on my tom-tom
Pull out the pipe and smoke you some
Hey and pass it around”

What are they talking about?  HHmm..

He’s even made songs with rap artists like Nelly.  That song got played Over and Over again.

Plus the dude is married to Faith Hill.  How many dudes were crying please Don’t Take The Girl? And he did.  Still has her.  Of course, the ladies like to look at and watch Mr. McGraw.  They like to think to themselves that they could see themselves as part of My Next Thirty Years.

He has played in some big time movies.  Not a bad actor.  Yet, on top of his music career, marriage to Faith and some movie roles…now, he, along with his bride, get starring roles in 1893, the Yellowstone spin off.  

Really, the worst thing that I can say about him is I can’t stand that spray-paint looking, plastic caboy hat that he wears.  

I like it, I love it.  If I mention to Tammy or Kela that I am writing about the Tim McGraw, they will answer the most well known song line of his…..yes,  and they saw him and Faith in concert and they too  would want some more of it.  

However, I prefer  “I had a barbecue stain on my white t shirt.” 

“She was killing me in that mini skirt.”  

It was Something Like That.

I’m done.  This was stupid.  But, seriously.  Go watch Frosty and then watch the cartoon Santa on Christmas Vacation.