Not quite as cold this morning, but the wind is out of the south.  The wind is moving a lot of tumble weeds from one side of the fence row to the other.  I’m glad I don’t have any babies at the house right now.  

     Kela is dog sitting for a friend of hers.  We have some kind of dang walking dust mop living with us.  I think it is a shit-zu (spelling?).  This is an ill-made beast as it is splay-footed, narrow based, low at the point of its shoulder, too long in its spine and monkey jawed.  She is a structural wreck, but that is how they are supposed to look.  Just beautiful.  Sasha, the resident corgi, knows their is another dog on the place and doesn’t like it at all.  

     Off to the real world.  Have a good morning and good day.

     This time of year, I do most of my chores in the dark.  It is dark at 5:30 am and 6 pm, so I do most everything by barn light, flash light or gator light.  Two things that I can tell you that goats won’t do in the dark–1–You can’t herd them and 2–You can’t get them to take a drink.  

     Everything is frozen.  I made sure everything got a good drink last night.  This morning, it is dark.  I put out fresh water, but they won’t drink it at this time.  I filled troughs that are literally two feet away from does standing inside a shed.  Did they drink?  No.  Stand there and stare with that stupid doe look.  Did they drink after I walked off?  No.  Ten minutes later, the water is changing forms and they are still standing there with that same stupid doe look.  They will wait till the sun comes up but by then the water will be called ICE.  I’m sure it has something to do with a predator/prey protection instinct.  But, it just further proof of the retardation level of a doe goat.

     Speaking of beings with their heads up their butts,

 The Food Stamp Program, administered by the U.S. Department of Agriculture, is proud to be distributing this year the greatest amount of free Meals and Food Stamps ever, to 46 million people.

Meanwhile, the National Park Service, administered by the U.S. Department of the Interior, asks us “Please Do Not Feed the Animals.” Their stated reason for the policy is because “The animals will grow dependent on handouts and will not learn to take care of themselves.”

     Well, we got a white Christmas but I don’t think it is the kind that Bing Crosby used to sing about.  It is a miserable snow, no moisture to it, and it is coming in sideways at 50 mph.  The weather is not fit for man nor beast.  The wethers are wearing numerous layers (2 wool lined canvas blankets and another canvas blanket over the first two) and they are inside their boxes inside the barn.  It actually isn’t terrible bad if you are out of the wind.  That wind is BRUTAL!!  

     I put out plenty of hay for does yesterday.  Later today, Duke and I will make sure every animal gets a good drink.  A good drink of water will help keep an animal warmer.  It helps their system metabolize.  A lot of people overlook this.  

     Since it got real cold last evening, I’ve noticed neither of the bucks have bred anything.  I don’t know if this means that no does came in heat or if neither buck wants to take a chance of getting frost-bite on their tool.

     We’ve watched Christmas Vacation and a Christmas Story.  Mass was packed at Shattuck last night.  We made it to all of our family Christmass dinners.  Big Fun.  Remember why we have Christmas.  God Bless and Merry Christmas!

     We loaded up Friday evening and went back to Woodward.  We drove through Crystal Christmas.  It is a really neat Christmas light show at Crystal Beach Park in Woodward.  After that we went to a Mexican joint and ate.  Then Tammy decided she needed a few items at walmart.  I didn’t want to go, but I decided to make the best of it.

      Duke and I headed for the legos.  Duke marveled at all of the different legos and I would stop other shoppers and ask them where the edible crayons were at?  Which markers have a stronger sniff?  I didn’t test drive any bicycles and I noticed that they no longer have the employee phones that used to be strategically located around the store.  I picked up a Stripes dvd in the electronics deparment and tossed it on the checkout counter with some lady’s stuff and told the clerk, “Put it on her tab.  She won’t notice with all the stuff she is already buying.”  Fortunately, the lady buying all this stuff had a good sense of humour.  She laughed and handed me the dvd.  We made a few jokes about last minute Christmas shopping at walmart.  The cashier didn’t have much of a sense of humour.  

     I headed towards the check out lines.  You know, the 56 check out lanes, alternately staggered, with each line having 8-15 joyful people waiting their turn to hand their card/check/cash to some person holding down a register that wished that they were somewhere else other than working at walmart.  The Dragon Lady was checking out, so I walked up and asked the checker where I could find the penguin meat?  The checker went into lock down mode.  A husband standing in line was like “WTH? Penguin meat?”  And Tammy shut me down and sent me to the car.  It was fun while it lasted.  That place was packed full of people in a miserable mood.  

     Saturday was the Dragon Lady’s birthday.  So the four of us loaded up and went to Canadian, Texas.  We stopped into a furniture/imports/crap store in downtown Canadian.  I tried to buy three pictures.  Two Lonesome Dove pictures and a Tombstone picture.  They wanted $59 apiece.  I offered $150 for all three.  Of course, the lady working couldn’t make that decision, so I told her to call somebody that could if they wanted to sell something this evening.  They wouldn’t budge a dollar.  So, I didn’t buy any pictures.  They didn’t even want to try to play.  

     We then went to the Cattle Exchange to eat.  If you haven’t been there, it is worth the trip.  You order when you walk in, then sit down.  You will probably have to wait for a table.  It is always a busy place.  Good bread, good salads, good steaks and really good bread pudding.  Tammy had the stuffed grilled shrimp.  Bacon wrapped shrimp with a slice of jalapeno and then mesquite grilled.  They were tasty.

     Back in the goat world, Fade2Black and Rumour Has It are enjoying life right now.  Fade is losing weight as he doesn’t want to eat, just screw.  I vaguely, but fondly, remember times like that.  Rumour gets the ladies brought to him—one or two at a time.  Hhmm?  These bucks have a better life than me.  

     It is time to get cleaned up and head to the in-laws for their family gathering there.       

     Oh, by the way, it is December 23rd.  Happy Festivus!!  It’s a festivus for the rest-of-us!  We might have to have an airing of grievances, a Festivus dinner and then the Feats of Strenth at the Kelln Kompound later this evening.  At worst, maybe at best, we will just watch that Seinfeld episode and have an egg nog.

     I’m really not that excited that it is Friday as I have to work on Saturday.  But there is something exciting about Fridays.  I have put off doing any shopping what-so-ever and today is the deadline.  I have to do something today.  I hope people want stuff from Western Equipment or ACE hardware because I am NOT going into that damn wal-mart.  I’d rather be kicked in the crotch than to go to wal-mart at this time of year.  Luckily, for most people that are in my family, Tammy handles most (read 98%) of the gift shopping.  

     I should have had an auction to sell does as I have had a lot of calls wanting to know how many and how much.  Well, I had a guy call me shortly after posting the blog on Wednesday.  He spoke for 13 of them.  Good proven does and some of them are most likely bred.  They should work well for him.  Price wise, he didn’t get hurt.

     I took the does to Hennessey on Thursday to meet up with the buyer.  I had never met Charlie Martin before.  That is possibly the best thing about the livestock business is getting to meet new people.  Nice guy.  I enjoyed talking goats with him, even though it was a bit nippy and the truck drivers in the truck stop parking lot wanted us to move.  Even though I parted with some proven does, I was in a good mood Thursday night.  Duke thinks I need to sell down to about 10.  I really couldn’t argue with him.

It got just a little bit windy last night.  The cool thing about that was the fact that a crew showed up to put a new roof on the Kelln Kompound.  The roofer and I were both unaware of the wind that was in route to this part of the world.  The amazing thing is that crew showed up about 9 am and was done by 3 pm.  Don’t see any problems with the new roof.  No shingles sticking up or lying in the yard this morning.  I’m about done spening money.  A little more fence and some gyp rock in part of the big barn and I will be done.

     A fine example of why I hate does happened this morning.  Duke and I gathered all of the does into the corral right after daybreak.  We sorted them into two groups.  One to stay in the pasture and another group to be penned next to Rumour.  Once sorted, the pasture does were turned back into the pasture with Fade2Black.  The other does were put into a trap with 11 wire barb wire and 1 electric wire between them and the does in the pasture.  The only non-electric part is the gate–a 12 ‘ pipe gate with a 4×4 panel attached to it.  Literally 10 minutes after sorting these does, one doe is on one side of the gate and another on the other side, just beating the hell out of it trying to smash heads.  They had been in the same pasture together for the past 4 months.  Now, within minutes they are fighting through the fence, tearing up gates and panels.  Those two are going to the Perry sale barn TOMORROW.  They have both raised either OYE or Enid premium sale wethers, but I can’t take this crap.  They are gone and there will be about 8 of their buddies with them.  Some bred.  

     I’m always looking for new tools.  Not wrenches, sockets and pliers.  I’ve got plenty of those kind of things and I don’t like to use them.  Just tools to make my life easier.  Presently, I am dealing with a pile of new tools.  We had to get a new computer.  Kela talked me into getting a Mac instead of a PC.  Right now, I don’t like the keyboard.  We will see if I learn to like it and the backward ass screen controls.  As much as I despise computers, they are a must have tool.  How good of a tool are they?  When Helms can market goats on facebook and Pfieffer can market goats via online sales, they are obviously valuable & profitable tool.  Now, I just want to see somebody sell Ralph Shafer a website.   

      I’ve been pricing MIG welders.  I like to weld and I am not bad at it.  I have the shop space and welding is one of the main things that I miss about teaching.  Plus, Duke is acting interested in it.  Couple all of this with the fact that I have been pricing panels, kidding pens, etc.  Jeeminy, I can buy a new MIG, the tubing and panels and build the stuff myself and be way ahead.  

     Once we moved to the new Kelln Kompound, our polaris 4 wheeler crapped the bed.  I took it to a “mechanic” to get fixed.  It was going to be a while.  It was August and a 113 degrees.  Duke was running goats on foot.  I felt sorry for him, so I brought a gator home for him to use.  I mean, I wouldn’t run a goat on foot if it was nice outside much less Hades hot.  I hadn’t wanted to own, strike that, pay for a gator.  Heck, for that price I could buy a heckuva good used 4wd pickup.  Well, you know what?  A pickup CAN’T do the things that a gator can.  Especially, when it comes to working on fence and dealing with sacked feed.  So we bought a gator.  Good decision.  

     Several months later, I find myself running out of daylight.  It is dark before 6 p.m.  It is hard to check animals in the dark.  I have been looking for some different lights to use to solve my problems.  I found one and it just happened to be in our store.  It is a spotlight that plugs into a cigarettle lighter.  It is remote contol and spins about 320 degrees. It has a magnetic mount or suction cup mount.  It also has a handle.  I can park the gator and walk out amongst these BEASTS.  Between the spotlight being operated remotely (cool) and a flashlight, I am able to check breeding marks and all of the other exciting crap that goes along with does.  I have already knocked the light off of the top of the gator and drug it down a well road for about thirty yards (my fault).  It still works.  It also works great on the cab of a pickup.  Although, I don’t know if I recommend heading down a paved road with it mounted on the pickup while Duke is in the backseat running the remote control with oncoming traffic. (not sure about the legalities, but it was fun and we probably won’t do it again) 

     Now, the women in my life are trying to talk me into upgrading iPhones.  This might not happen.  Even though I would consider an iPhone a tool, I would almost put that device into the same category as a doe.  Sometimes I just don’t like those things.  I wish I still had a bag phone.  Those things got some reception, you only had to talk on it when you wanted to and you weren’t married to the thing.  Now, that was a good tool.

     I hate them.  I like dealing with baby goats, showing wethers and don’t mind dealing with bucks.  But does…I hate them.  Every time I think about selling out and walking away just happens to coincide with me having to deal with does.  I guess my best idea of raising goats would consist of somebody else having the does and I come get the babies when they are weaned. If I could figure out a way to raise goats without having the does, I would.  

     There is not a more destructive, wasteful, miserable animal on the face of the Earth than a doe goat.  Fences, panels, hot wire, etc.  If they can bang their heads on it, climb on it or rub on it, then a doe goat will tear it up.  They are the only animal that I know of that will crap and piss on their own hay and then act like they are starving because they don’t have anything to eat, even though there is several hundred pounds of top quality alfalfa that they pissed on.

     The only thing possibly worse than a doe goat is an EX show doe.  Welfare loving, communistic, won’t do anything for themselves, won’t herd with the rest of the mob, stand around and bawl because they heard a door open or saw you with a bucket even though they have feed and hay in front of them, get in the way PITAssses!!

     It is probably a good thing that there is not a sale barn near here this morning, otherwise I might be out of the doe business.

     This word could mean a lot of different things— Gathering money at mass on Sunday, gathering money for your local stock show fundraiser, gathering money for equipment sales,etc.  If it doesn’t rain this winter, the word collections on equipment might lead to reposessions.  I hope not. 

     In the livestock world, it means collecting semen on your studs.  On Wednesday, I hauled four bucks to REI at Stillwater to get them collected.  Rumour Has It, Fade2Black, Rainman and Joe Dirt all made the trip.  Four bucks in one trailer means that my trailer now has a maliferous odor to it. 

     Rumour was actually the good performer.  He was rearing to go, jump does and get collected.  He gave a large amount for a young buck.  The others weren’t as easy to deal with but we now have them collected.  I did get a little pissed when Fade would rather jump Joe Dirt than the teaser doe.  There might have been a comment about you FarmHouse acting son-of-a-queer, fatherless child.

     REI only had two goat customers on Wednesday.  Milligan in the morning and me in the afternoon.  These guys got to hear several sets of stories and comments that they hadn’t heard before.  Needless to say, but they were well entertained.  During one story that involved Bill Taylor, one of the guys  said “You mean the big red headed Bill Taylor that used to teach ag at Leedey?”  I said, “Yep.”  He said, “That was my ag teacher in high school.”  The stories got better after that.