Trying to train a guard dog pup.  His name is GARP–goat and ranch protection.  Also, I like the old school Robin Williams movie “The World According to Garp”.  Go find that movie at the rental store.  I’ve got it on VHS if you want to borrow it.  We had his brains cut out, I mean, we had him neutered.  I didn’t want him chasing female coyotes or trying to romance Sasha.  GOD never intended a corgi/pyrenees cross. He has bonded to humans a little too much.  He is a 7/8 pyr pup.  I say pup but he already weighs a pile.  He is turned out in a trap with some doe kids.  All I really want him to do is stay in the vicinity and scare coyotes.  It’s going to take some time and patience, but he will work out.  And I have lots of time and patience.  

     I had a goat showing dad stop in to the store last week.  Tony Sessions stopped by.  He was pricing something, or picking up dry cleaning or heck, I really don’t remember why he was there.  If you don’t know the Sessions family, then you need to meet them.  Tori is the Cleo Springs goat queen.  You can find her on either side of the highway south of Cleo Springs.  She is either at her house on the west side or over at Seelke’s on the east side.  We will find out if her and her mom can cook more pies this year.  I guess it depends on if they want the does clipped right, clipped with a weed eater or slick sheared.  

     Anyways, Tony might work for the OHP, otherwise known as the Oklahoma Highway Patrol.  He left my office that day and came back bearing gifts.  One of the gifts was a nice cap that has the OHP emblem on the front and a 75th anniversary slogan on the bill–good looking cap.  This was great.  Kind of like John Deere, the really good customers get a hat.  Eric, the parts manager, tried to trade me out of it.  

     I have now wore that cap two different times.  Thought it might help me get a good parking spot, free dinner or maybe just a beer.  I even wore it to Charlie’s Bar & Grill on Friday evening.  You know what?  People look at it and glare at me.  They treat me rudely.  I’m a nice person with a sunny disposition.  Everybody else’s day gets Happy, Happy, Happy when I’m around.  I’m not used to being the a-hole.  I thought Tony was bringing me a gift.  I didn’t realize, at the time, that he was screwing me over. Now, anytime that I am not a happy-go-lucky, sunny side up, upbeat, absolutely positively happy kind of person, you can blame Tony.  

     No, I don’t think aliens were at the Kelln Kompound the other evening.  However, we did have a superior intellect checking in on us tonight.  Uncle Jim was here.  You better listen when he speaks because you don’t know what kind of nugget you are going to pick up.

     Stay flexibe, but not limp. 

     I was checking animals with the gator this evening.  The spotlight was on.  I was possibly guilty of shining the spotlight towards the blacktop a 1/2 mile to the west.  There may or may not have been a moving vehicle.  I also may or may not have shined it to the south looking for eye-shine from a coyote.  There may have been a moving vehicle headed west on the blacktop a 1/2 mile south.  I’m not sure how far this spotlight shines.  

     About 15 minutes later, I was on the south side of the big barn measuring some panels.  I noticed a light in the air, coming directly at me from the southwest.  The spotlight was on, but shining at the ground.  I watched the light approach me.  It was fairly low flying.  I shut the iPod off and took the speakers out of my ears.  No sound.  It was not moving very fast for a flying object.  Maybe 70 or 80.  Basically, medical helicopter speed, but without the sound.  Of course, I’m thinking the sheriff/game ranger has a small plane and looking for the spot light.  Check list–1) no guns with me 2) get rid of open container 3) don’t touch the remote to the spot light and dang sure don’t shine it at the flying object.  

     I watched this thing fly directly over me, with no sound.  It continued on a path towards the northeast, not changing direction, altitude or speed and only one light in the front and two in the back.  It was several miles past me before I could hear any engine sounds.  If I would have been drunk, smoking a cigarette, missing teeth, while wearing a wife beater shirt and a “My Balls Itch” cap, then I could have been on the news or at least some reality show getting interviewed about the UFO that I witnessed. 

      After watching this UFO fly off towards Woodward, I noticed something flying from the East and another something coming from the south east.  Both of those were airplanes.  I don’t know what I saw.  I’m pretty sure it wasn’t an alien ship.  It might have had a sasquatch for a pilot.  Maybe, I better go count the goats and make sure they are all accounted for.  There might have been a goat abduction by aliens.  

     I’ve been told that I would really like this movie. I didn’t argue as Clint Eastwood is in it.  There would be a really good chance that I would really like it, or at least like it.  I finally watched it tonight.  It’s still an ugly car, but that is a dang good movie.  I love the acting, the story line, the ending, and all of the crap in between that makes a great story.  

     I know that this movie is over 4 years old, but I don’t rent movies and I don’t like to start watching a potentially great movie after it has already started.  I would never start reading a book on page 37 or so.  Therefore, I want to start a movie at the first.  However, once I see a movie, I can start watching it at any point and be just fine.  I didn’t get to see Unforgiven when it came out back in 1992.  Over the next twenty years, I would see that it was on a channel as I was flipping through them, but I wouldn’t watch it.  It only took me until 2012 to see this movie from start to finish.  It was worth the wait.  Dang good movie.  

     I don’t have any goat knowledge for anybody today.  I only know that Duke has a broken hand and is recovering from pinkeye.  The wrestling season is over.  His mom was exercising goats for him.  I said, “You know, you lead a goat with your right hand.  You’re left hand has the cast.  You could do that yourself.”  He said, “Yeah.  I know.  But I will take the help when I can get it.”  The pinkeye will be fine by tomorrow.  I think the hand will be fine shortly.  Maybe there will be some good movies on tv on a fine Sunday evening.

p.s.  I like Clint Eastwood movies.  The Good, The Bad & The Ugly is an all time great.  But my favorites are when he played Philo Beddoe in Every Which Way But Loose and Any Which Way You Can.  “Right Turn, Clyde.”  The grandma was killer funny.  Those were crap movies but I love them.  The black widows, an ugly chick and an orangutan–that has to be a great movie recipe.  

p.s.s.  I also like it when old, accomplished actors quit playing roles and just play themselves in different movies.  They play the same role, just in a different setting.  John Wayne, Jack Nicholson, Clint Eastwood, etc.  Makes for good movies when somebody knows what works and they don’t care what critics/directors/producers/financer think(s).  And a lot of times, they are the director/producer/financer at this point.

     I still have Joe Dirt turned out with a set of does.  I have another set penned up next to Rumour Has It just in case one of them re-cycles.  I happened to look at a calendar and think to myself that we would be getting pretty close to having July babies at this point.  I have had fairly good luck with July babies in the past, but the last two years have taken the desire out of me to have kids in July.  It has been 183 degrees the past two years in July and August.  I think it is time for the bucks to be put up, on a feeder and get fat for next breeding season.  Maybe, it will be raining in July and August this year.

     It is amazing what kind of stuff that you can find on the internet.  I have actually been researching a topic or two and needed a break from thinking.  Why not check out some other goat websites.  This was interesting?, informational and somewhat depressing.  1–I do a piss poor job of updating winner photos.  2–I get sick of looking at county winners on other websites.  3– It is obvious that sellling semen and flushing does is a valid part of the goat market.  4–I do a piss poor job of flushing does or selling semen on the HIGH quality bucks that we use at Kelln Livestock.  

      A couple of years ago, my baby brother, aka Big D, showed me pics from a website.  No Mom, it wasn’t porn.  Just a bunch of pics that made you look twice.  No thought processes, other than WTH?  I didn’t venture to this site.  Not because I couldn’t remember the address, I just didn’t make myself do it. I refuse to list the address to this site because they aren’t going to give me any promotional considerations.  But you can use the website name as a topping on a baked potato (or is it potatoe?) and it ain’t bacon. I love bacon.

     On occassion, I would look at something that was forwarded from this site.  I would look, laugh or think WTF?  Last week, my old friend Fred sent me several links to look at.  Seeing that Fred was the sender, I knew I had to look.  I also knew that children, nuns and house pets probably shouldn’t be around when I opened these.  It turned out that it was safe, nothing dirty.  Just a pile of pictures of hot women with clothing.  I like looking at hot women in pictures or real life.  If looking is a sin, I’m in trouble.  If you want to accuse me of liking good looking women, consider me guilty.  Anyways, I followed the other links to look at “Stuff you see on public transportation”.  All of your wal-mart freak pictures are on thise.  I also appreciate the fact that the guys that run this site have an affinity for Star Wars and Bill Murray.  I love it.  They also develop anagrams such as KCCO & FLBP.  I had to use Wiki to figure this crap out.

     Really, the only problem I have with this website, is the fact that Milligan or I didn’t come up with the idea.  Shear genius, kind of like Seinfeld.  You don’t have to think about it to enjoy it, just laugh.  

     Speaking of Milligan, goats and websites,  I guess I’m going to have to sell some goat semen one of these days.  Valentine’s day sounds like a good day to sell an item like that.  

     I can go off on the incomeptency of our government.  It is well documented on here that I am not a fan of your president.  I also don’t trust the government–their intentions, their thoughts, their actions, their knowledge, their common sense.  They DO NOT know what is best for you or me.  However, I enjoy studying history.  I don’t waste much time on sleep, so I watch a lot of history channel shows, animal shows and read crap on the internet (real stuff, not worthless blogs–this particular blog is completely worthwhile, as you might learn something).

    My favorite characters in U.S. history are Benjamin Franklin and Thomas Jefferson.  These dudes had it going on.  Both were obviously loaded with common sense.  When you find yourself wasting time on the internet, look up the quotes that are attributed to these two statesmen and possessors of great knowledge.  They understood the value of a dollar, work ethic, and the importance of agriculture and religion.  

Two of my favorite quotes are from Benjamin Franklin.  

“Democracy is two wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch.  Liberty is a well-armed lamb contesting the vote.”

“Beer is proof that GOD loves us and wants us to be happy.”

Thomas Jefferson looks like he was looking into a crystal ball into the year 2013.

“I predict future happiness for Americans if they can prevent the government from wasting the labors of the people under the pretense of taking care of them.”

“The beauty of the 2nd amendment is that it won’t be needed until they try to take it.”

And the Kelln household favorite,

“I’m a great believer in luck, and I find that the harder I work the more I have of it.”

I’m also a fan of the money that they are pictured on.  Now, that you have read this, I challenge you to google quotes by these guys.  Read them, think about them, learn from them.  

p.s  Just for fun, read some of Winston Churchill’s quotes.  

     It doesn’t matter what species that you show, or if you are talking sports or any other competitive event, dedication to getting better is what makes a winner.

I’ve heard lots of different excuses over the years, but the ones that win don’t have an excuse as to why they didn’t do something, they have a reason as to why they are going to do it.

     Yesterday was a beautiful Sunday afternoon.  I had plenty to do around the Kompound, but there were several that wanted to bring goats.  Dunkin’s brought wethers and does.  They stayed well after I was done so that Dalton could work on showmanship with Braden.  Powell’s brought wethers from Ringwood.  They even brought Frank, which meant he and Duke had to go study Dozer the Duroc for a while.  Madison brought her wethers.  These kids are consistently improving.  Their goats are on track and if we can just get a few deals to click between now and March, it might be fun.

     Schovanec’s brought wethers and does.  They had a reason to do it on a Sunday afternoon as they are leaving to head to Denver to show heifers.  Friesen’s brought does over to let Allysa work on showmanship with Braden.  They had just gotten home from showing heifers in Denver.  Throw in some basketball games, judging contests, cheerleading, etc, etc. and these families stay hooked.  Of course, they win a lot.  They are dedicated to winning.  And even though their schedules stay packed, they find time to get better.

     No excuses, just dedication to get better.  Like Larry the Cable Guy says, “Git ‘er done!”

Everything in life has different levels.  Athletics has pee wee, high school, college and professionals.  Sometimes there are levels within levels–ncaa d.1 & d2, for example.

There are different levels of hot–1.  habenero peppers  2. freshly welded metal & 3. Eischen’s fried chicken when they first bring it to the table and for the next 30 minutes before it finally cools off enough so that you don’t burn your fingerprints off of your fingers.

Different levels of pain–1. Hurts bad  2.  extremely painful & 3.  Stepping on a lego, barefoot, in the dark.

Different levels of retardation–1.  me raising animals  2.  Some parents  3.  A doe goat

Levels of frustration–1.  slow drivers in front of you  2.  moving  & 3.  raising goats

Showing as many different levels.  Everybody needs to be able to analyze themselves and honestly realize what level they are on, what level they desire to be on and what level they actually have the work ethic, time, money to achieve.

1.  Have done it for several years, but don’t work hard enough to advance beyond this stage.  Also known as half-ass.

2.  Beginners–some advance through this stage quickly, while others kind of stick around.

3.  Kind of have a clue about what is supposed to be done, but still need help.  The try is there, but the other parts haven’t fallen into place yet.

4.  Consistently having some success–win a county, maybe make a district sale and place at a major

5.  Make premium sales at district and major sales year in & year out.  Close but need something extra to take the next step–help, money, better goats, better showmanship, etc.

6.  Consistently win shows, major divisions and occasionally win a big one.  These are on everybody’s radar.  If they are in your class, everybody knows you better bring your A game or you will get beat by them.

7.  Target.  Everybody know that they are the ones to beat.  Their goals are to WIN.  Win big shows.  Works hard at selecting, feeding, showing, fitting, weight management, knowledge of judges, etc.  These don’t take a good one out until it is time.  They will be upset if they get beat, but that only fuels the fire for next time.  Might feed an animal for a year and only show that one once or twice.  A day off for them is called a premium sale.

Level 1 think they are on level 3 or 4, but because the ag teacher doesn’t like them or somebody else spends more money or knows the judge, etc, etc, etc.  

The true level 7’s think they are on level 6.

The urine of a goat can change the color of hair extremely quick and permanently.  Some does squat so much that they pee on their back legs.  Bucks of course piss all over the place, all the time.  Wethers, on the other hand, only pee on themselves when somebody puts a blanket on wrong.  This is why I DO NOT use those tube socks.  They only have a small pee hole and it gets shifted around where it covers the sheath, then the piss runs down the inside of it and down their back legs causing them to be stained a horrible yellowish/orange color that won’t come out.  Some of the blankets are ill-designed and have the belly strap that can run right across the sheath.  If you don’t catch it in a day or maybe two, then the legs will be permanently stained.

     Check daily to make sure a blanket isn’t covering the sheath.  These things can shift from a goat’s daily movements and cause problems.  This is why Brooke Taylor’s blankets are the best.  They are well made, designed for show goats, have removable fleece liners, easy to use strap clips and the straps are where they are supposed to be.  No piss stains.

     However, your offspring may decide to dig an old blanket out that was left here by somebody else, put it on underneath a Brooke blanket and get the strap right on top of the sheath.  Luckily, we caught it this morning.  Which means, sometimes you have to wash wether legs before 6 am.  No yelling.  No threats. Just a father and son trying to fix a problem before it becomes permanent.  Sometimes, cold hands are a better reminder of how to do things right.

     How much do I exercise my goat?  Do I use a track dog?  What about a treadmill?  Should I exercise my goat?

All valid questions.

1–If it is a wether, then he needs short, hard sprints.  You want them built more like a running back as opposed to a Kenyan marathon runner.  Short, hard bursts–100-150 yards–TOPS!  Show does need some exercise in order to harden them.  I recommend running a doe a 100 yards at least twice a week.

2–We have never used a track dog.  Why?  Because I can’t stand the thought of a dog that sits in a pen all day, crapping 12 pound piles, just waiting for the 15 minutes it gets out to chase a goat in a circle.  If we had 8-12 wethers on feed, then we would have to utilize a dog to exercise goats.  A good dog is expensive, hard to find and takes a lot of management.  When used properly, a track dog is a valuable tool.  When not used properly, your best goat will need stitches, a splint or a burial hole.  Dogs are for adults to use, not kids.

3–A treadmill works good on sheep.  Not so good on goats.  I gave ours away years ago.  Running on a treadmill does not give the natural adrenaline burst.  Plus, you can cause more pastern problems.  I wouldn’t recommend a treadmill for goats.  Backwards or forwards.

4–By all means, a wether goat MUST be exercised.  Sprinting helps build muscle, ups their metabolism, burns fat and gives a goat a shot of adrenaline.  Each person needs to figure out their exercise plan.  Remember, short, hard sprints; not marathons.

Our exercise program consists of a 4 wheeler, a Duke and a corgi.  Duke rides the 4 wheeler down the road and parks it.  He gets a goat out on the chain and walks it to the 4 wheeler.  He turns the goat loose, jumps on the 4 wheeler and chases the wether back to the pen.  The corgi barks the whole time the 4 wheeler is running.  The wether runs back to its pen lilke a spotted ass zebra.  Repeat process until all 3 wethers have been ran.  Then feed.  

How fast is a spotted ass zebra?  They are so fast that you have never seen one.  All you have seen is the slower striped ass zebras like the kind a lion eats on nature channels.