I’ve got a really good story involving the line “What?  You don’t like pizza?”  But this is not the forum for me to tell it.  However, I got home from another goat excursion, grabbed some pizza out of a box on the counter and shook some crushed red pepper and then some parmesan cheese on these slices of pizza.  Why?  

      I don’t really like parmesan cheese.  I wouldn’t eat it by itself, with crackers or with crackers and meat.  I’d be pissed if you put it on a burger, dang sure don’t want it on a hot dog and I would be ready to fight someone  if my cheese nachos had parmesan cheese on them.   So why do we shake parmesan cheese on our pizza?  I guess it is just what we are supposed to do.  

     Which brings us to feed additives.  Everyone in the show game has fed additives.  Myself included.  You feel like you need to, are supposed to and you just aren’t doing everything that you can for that next great champion UNLESS you are feeding some kind of additive.  But MOST of the time, you don’t need any additives.  It is amazing what clean water, a well balanced ration, proper exercise and a well maintained environment will do for a show animal.  

     Now don’t get me wrong some additives are needed.  They simply can’t be put into the feed ration.  Others are too good to be true, thus the reason that they test for those additives.  While some additives are to be used when you screwed up the previous paragraph.  You either got them too fat or didn’t feed right when it mattered and now, you need to panic.  Then there are others that just make you feel good.  They smell good.  They look good.  And they cost a pile.  And they come in a handy bucket.

      Regardless of species, there are plenty of additives aimed at perfecting your future champion.  Mostly though, they are designed at seperating your dollars from your check book.  They used to call them snake oil.  Just go get some parmesan cheese and sprinkle on it.  You really don’t need it, want it, but dang it, that’s what you are supposed to do.   

     It is a well established fact that I like good music.  Especially hard hitting rock–big guitars, loud and cool lyrics.  But I really love the original outlaws–Waylon, Willie and the boys.  Once again, Duke and I were like Willie.  No, we didn’t spark one up, but we were on the road again.  Just burning up the ashphalt and looking at goats.  

     No matter where the road has taken us, dealling with rain has been a recurring theme.  We’ve seen lots of down hay that has been rained on numerous times, more acres that need cut but it’s been too wet and all over OK and TX the countryside is green.  I’m glad.  It is interesting to see how various producers managed the wetness and what they use to treat the scours.  Some are ahead of the scours, some are fighting them and others are either curing or killing them. As for our operation, I’ve managaed to do all of the above.  

     Lots and lots of good goats will change hands during the month of June.  Champions will be sold.  There are several sets of excellent bucks that will sell sometime this month.  I’ve seen a lot of them.  I want a bunch of them, but I only need a couple of them and I don’t want to have to pay for any of them.  

     Before I leave, I always like to take a quick gander at our kids.  Then, go look at goats elsewhere.  Upon returning to paradise, I like to take another gander to see how they compare.  I am notorious for being barn blind in the negative.  I can pick an animal to pieces, especially my own.  This year, I constantly have the same thoughts as I study the stock.  I need more like them.  But, I don’t.  It happens.  It is what it is and that’s they way it’s going to be.  

     Speaking of the outlaws, go play some Tompall Glaser and “put another log on the fire”.  I love that song.  

     Some days are better than others.  I didn’t get everything done on my sticky-note list, but it went well.  The sun shined, a mild breeze blew…basically it was a perfect day in paradise.  Then, we got busy.  Duke and I continue our conflict with the birds.  We had visitors.  We have had several visitors this past week.  Once they see Law & Order, the next question follows: “Is the K9 doe still alive?”  And the answer continues to be “YES!”  Come look.  

    And since today was such a good day, we got to see her with first milk on on her newest batch of kids. I recently saw an ad asking if their doe was the most proven wether dam.  Huhnh?  RUSM?!  The answer is NO!  If a resume only reads 3 lines, it ain’t enough.  And if one of those lines ain’t right…then don’t tag me on facebook.  Especially when Duke had the “bronze div. 3 wether at ’15 OYE.”   And it wasn’t out of that doe in the pic.

      I am sore.  And this comes from helping Duke weed his gardn plots.  We have had good rains, which is great.  But with rains come weeds.  The weeds had gotten out of hand.  But now, we somewhat have them under control.  

      Everybody has a few.  Some have more.  Yeah, it was a good TV show.  I’m actually pretty selective about what I term a friend.  I’ve got one, maybe two, hopefully more than that.  I probably have more than I deserve.  

      I judge a friend by how that person would treat my family if I wasn’t around.  I would way rather somebody help Tammy and/or my kids than help me.  I’m lucky that my best friend has a nick-name (shouldn’t all best friends?)  This Dragon Lady has been good for me.  I actually have no negative thoughts as I type this.  I’m not mad at anybody.  I’ve just had time to think for the past couple of days.  

    I know that I have a pair of brothers that will do whatever it takes.  It’s good to have a pair of eyes, ears, nuts and brothers.  Those dudes (brothers not the nuts)  are better than money in the bank.  I know that my daughter is doing just fine and will be fine.  And this son of mine, well, let’s just say that I don’t lie awake, worrying about if he will be a good person or not.  I enjoyed watching Kela grow into a fine adult, but it will be more interesting watching this brother of hers.  He has obviously inherited some pretty strong genetics.

     I have had a really good last couple of days.  It wasn’t  all bad.  I wouldn’t call it a waste of time.  But I travaled all over, saw lots and lots of goats.  No matter what you’re interests are in this program,  remember your friends. 

    Have a good day and a better tomorrow.  

     To be honest, I struggled with how to title this blog.  Normally, I don’t give a rat’s donkey about the title.  I have declared war, but in my small world, war is too big of a word.  Even though I’m pissed and want the enemy gone, dead and will hopefully never come back, war is not the proper word.  War, battle, etc are all terms associated with major events that cost human life.  I don’t want to go the athletic route and utilize terms like “field of battle” and the kind that “you would want to go to war with”.  Therefore, we are going to use the term conflict.  

      Over the years, I have used some mouse bait and tore down sparrow nests.  I didn’t mind a few cohabitants in the barns.  But I did want them to respect the provider that provided the shelter and the food.  That is all I asked.  Don’t crap on everything, don’t destroy feed sacks, don’t chew on wires, don’t build nests above my personal spaces–just take advantage of the free food and shelter.  Just don’t abuse it.  

      Now, as a result of the abuse of the free-loading tenants, I am now at conflict with sparrows, barn swallows, mice and as a result of the continued gift from GOD that we call rain–we also have an abundance of flies.  My advice is to buy stock in those companies that sell products that I am purchasing in order to win this conflict.  Too start with, I would watch the company that makes TomCat.  I will have later blogs that provide info as to what worked and what didn’t.  

      I have to buy stuff that will not hurt the goats and that the dogs will not eat.  I have to spray stuff that is also safe for humans, goats and dogs.  I would like to order predator wasps to attack the flies, but it has rained too much and we are already behind.  So, I will deal with the flies and mosquitos as they come.  Now, for the birds and mice.  They are no longer welcome.  I am real sure that these birds and mice are obAma supporters.  They provide nothing for the common good, but they want to use up all that they are provided.  And then they complain that they weren’t given more.  They get vocal and more visible even though they don’t actually do anything for the common good.  I’m real sure that they have a few paid spokesman that just make a butt load of noise every time that I walk into these barns.  I don’t think that these spokesbirds are native.  I actually think that some of the native birds utilized my free wi-fi, found some professional birds that crap all over everything and make noise while doing so, and then traded my feed to get these LOUDER birds from some big city to come to paradise.  I don’t know why my quiet birds would do that.  I gave each bird, mouse and rat a cell phone, a debit card and bought their old junker transportation devices. I upgraded their living facilities and feed sources.  I made the barns warmer in the winter, cooler in the summer and cleaner year round.  But NO!  That wasn’t good enough.  Instead of just being happy and content, they started crapping on tractors, 4 wheelers and then pickups.  Then, they just decided to crap on everything in the barn.  EVERYTHING!  The mice started getting braver.  Then they tried to take over.    Neither the birds or the mice were providing feed, shelter or anything else to the common good.  Unless we have a use for mice and bird crap.  

       Some people will read this and automatically declare that these birds and mice are democrats.  I won’t argue.  But, I will tell you that these pests will not be leaching this dude of anymore resources.  They had their chances.  I am now applying my resources to their demise or removal–THEIR choice!  They can go somewhere else or die.  I do not care.  Duke and I cleaned barns today.  We did not hurt any animals.  But we did witness nature at its finest.  When we pulled down a bird nest or found a mouse habitation, Sasha took care of everything.  Regardless of age, that old female dog that gets fed daily went back to her primal instincts and ate every bird or mouse that made an appearance.  It was awesome!

      I’m not sure.  Have I ever mentioned that I dislike your president and his tactics?  They don’t work-your president or those strategeries.  Watch history or nature.  Take your pick.  There is always a Sasha waiting to clean up the mess when given the chance.  Don’t read too much into this post.  All I want is my barns rid of birds and mice.  

      And to end this note, I provided the same services for racoons, skunks and opossums.  Those critters have yet to abuse their privileges.  They crap in certain corners.  Borrow the same feed sources as the birds and the rodents but have have yet to cause problems.  I think that they upgraded their free cell-phones to smart phones and can utilize GPS to track my location.  Cool.  We have even been known to substantiate the rumour that there are a few pleasant armadillos that enjoy our hospitatilty.  I do think that these were some ‘dillos that made their way over from Texas.  No matter, they too are welcome, as long as they behave and crap in proper locations.

      And to clearify this post, I am at conflict with sparrows, swallows, mice, rats and flies.  I can’t win the conflict against flies.  But I will make the resident rodents and birds wish for a new regime.  Have a good day and a better tomorrow.  

      Remember, we will have a July and August that will remind us why we want rain.  And if you didn’t enjoy reading this crap, remember that you are free to choose a different site to read.  I did NOT direct you to this site.  You got here of your own accord.  Think about it.  

     GPS is a common acronym.  It stands for Global Positioning Satellite.  We use it in everyday life–your smartphone has GPS, vehicle navigation such as OnStar utilizes GPS and all of the autosteer guidance systems in tractors and combines work using GPS.  

     There are 40ish yearling heifers across the road from the house.  Dad makes sure that they always have high quality hay, lush native grass as well as graze off wheat pasture.  They are well cared for and lack for nothing.  And they look like it.  Good looking set.  Now, for some reason, one of these bovine females has decided that she needed to jump the fence to get into one of Duke’s garden patches.  With the ground being extremely wet as well as it being a cultivated garden spot, the Earth is basically mud.  So the tracks are obvious.  You can see where she jumped in, made a lap and went back over at the same spot.  She didn’t eat anything.  But she didn’t need to.

      I have never seen GPS technology attached to an animal, but I am real sure that at least one heifer has GPS guidance capabilities.  And it is as if this heifer was using a GPS program to follow one row of onions, then made a 90 degree turn to the right and followed a row of peas then another 90 down a row of corn another 90 to the right and exactly followed a curving row of cucumbers.  I had never thought about using a calf as a cultivator, but it is a very effective tool.  The hoof action works to land, dig and pull the plant.  I can almost imagine the young cucumber sliding in between the cloven hoof as it is being pulled and slung out of the ground.  We’ll see how the peas and cucumbers fare as some of the casualties have been re-planted.  

     I didn’t use GPS to travel around OK on Memorial Day.  I kind of knew how to get to these farms.  I got to look at Pfeiffer’s online set of wethers.  Good set and they sold REAL well.  I thought 5 or 6 would sell real well, but I’ll be honest, I wasn’t expecting a $15,000 wether.  Shows what I know.  I made several more stops and made it home, just in time to do chores.  

     I do have a Polock story for you–sort of.  I had to stop and laugh at myself as I was trying to catch a set of wethers here at the house.  About the second lap around this pen, I stopped and thought to myself, “How do you keep a German/Irishman from catching a goat?  Put the goats in a round pen.”  

     Here’s the deal.  I brought home a set of wethers last week.  With all of the recent rains, I didn’t have any empty pens.  But I did have an empty grainary, so I cleaned it out, spread wood chips, installed a gate in the doorway and then dumped the wethers in the new pen.  I didn’t give much thought about catching them.  Until I was chasing them in a circle, with no corners in which to corner them.   

      Have a good day and a better tomorrow.

    The sun is finally shining and I’m as happy as a bulldog pup that is face down in a fresh gopher mound.  We needed the rain, but it is nice to see some sun.  Fortunately for us, we have just had rain.  Other parts of OK and TX have had tornadoes, hail and flooding.  I feel for them.  

    After the 4 letter word post, I received several texts regarding proper 4 letter words and most of them mentioned rain as a 4 letter word.  I wasn’t going to go that far.  July and August will come soon enough and we will be wishing that we had some of this rain. 

     It is Memorial Day.  Remember those that came before us, that paved the way and built this country.  Thanks to all of the active service men and women.  Thank you to all of the Veterans.  

      When dealing with livestock, there is a considerable amount of 4 letter words used.  Some are a necessity–bull, buck, boar, tank, barn, feed, crap, etc.  There are also 4 letter words used by some producers but not others.  I won’t type those on here but if you want to hear these words used in proper context, then feel free to come to our piece of paradise.  

    Then there are acronyms that have become proper words in the livestock industry.  Acronyms like CIDR.  This is pronounced see-dur.  But it stands for Controlled Internal Drug Release.  If you don’t know, this is a piece of plastic that is loaded with hormones used to control the estrous (heat) cycle of cows, ewes or does.  They aren’t cheap, but they are easy to use.  Duke and I put in a pile of CIDRs on this fine evening.  We are preparing for a flush.   This deal will work, or we will wish it would have.  No matter what, it will cost me money.  

      Other 4 letter words that I like when dealing with livestock–sold, cash, gone, live & warm.  Speaking of warm, I’m not complaining about the rain, but we are in need of some sunshine.  It is that time of year when I like to work on my tan and so far, it ain’t happening.  

    The term “polock” has been a derogatory term for anybody that originated in Poland.  Heck, we all told polock jokes when we were a kid.  It’s okay to tell a Polock joke, but not one using other terms that regard race or religion.  My question is Why?  The Polish people have been huge contributors to modern society.  Look at their contributions to food–Haagen-Dazs ice cream, Nathan’s hot dogs and of course, the Polish sausage.  Butt-loadsof contributions to science, medicine and religion.  Even a Pope was from Poland–John Paul II.  The best that I can tell is that because the country sits in between Germany and Russia–both known bullies–the Polish countrymen became a punchline and thus, the birth of the dumb Polock jokes.  Maybe, Poland didn’t have a good enough Public Relations person in order to promote Polish engineering like the Germans did.  Or Russian vodka.  I really don’t understand why American kids tell Polock jokes.  From what I have witnessed, we Americans are the single greatest society ever while managing to become the dumbest, fattest, laziest bastards EVER.  Might be why a large part of the rest of the world doesn’t like us much?  Hhmm?

      But even as the Polish people were involved in both World Wars and the Cold War, they still managed to invent things like kevlar and radar.  And World War II is where the rest of our story is headed. 

    I had seen this story years ago, but had forgotten about it.  I am always into stories involving animals.  Now, thanks to a Chive post, I re-visited the story.  The story is about Wojtek (pronounced Voytek).  Google it.  Read several different posts as Wikipedia doesn’t quite do it justice.  Basically, Wojtek was a bear cub that was adopted by a Polish army brigade.  The bear became part of the unit.  They even had to use some BS paperwork to make him a private in order to hitch a ride on a British ship since NO PETS were allowed.  The bear even went into battle.  Once the war was over, Wotjek lived in a zoo.  But many of the men came to visit him.  

     This bear also drank beer with the men.  I have no doubts that an animal will drink beer.  I know of a spot boar named Balls that used to drink beer with Mitch Ketts at Billings, OK.  Those two could kill a case in a hurry.  I have memories of watching Sonny Wagoner giving a buck named 5 Star bottles of beer.  That buck would grab the bottle, tilt it back, kill it and then sit the bottle back down waiting on the next one.  I don’t know for sure how many beers 5 Star could drink, but I did watch him drink a six pack one evening.  I have people that can testify to these previous stories.  Short Shit used to like to ride to Mitch’s just to watch that boar drink beer.  It isn’t much of a stretch to imagine a brown bear kicking a couple back with the boys.  But I digress.  

      Read the stories about Wotjek the Nazi fighting bear.  Go ahead and google Polish contributions while you are at it.  GOD bless the USA!  And acknowledge the facts that the Polocks are a valued part of society.  

    And guess what….It rained in paradise…..again.  Not complaining.  

Cedar Heights elementary, circa 1982….How do you keep a Polock from peeing in the corner?  Put him in a round room.  

     I sat here at this computer, scrolling through facebook.  I was seeing what others were having for lunch, learning the real reason why Wal Mart is closing some stores, reading about the motorcycle gang wars and lots of other worthwhile trash.  As I scrolled through, a quiz caught my eye.  “Which Star Wars Character Are You?”  I couldn’t pass this one up.  So, I clicked on it and began the quiz.  I concentrated as I answered each question.  At first, I figured that I would end up being Darth Vader.  Heck, Tammy has the Imperial March (you know the tune) as the ring tone for me on her phone.  But as the questions kept coming, I knew that I wasn’t going to be Vader.       The results:  I couldn’t be more pleased.  I am YODA!  Yes!!  Another result of this quiz, I am real sure that if I would have concentrated this hard in college or high school, my GPA would be a bit higher.  May the force be with you.  “Try not.  Do or do not.  There is no try.”