There are many different forms of retardation. Some of it is more of a medical issue. Some people would say that this goat deal has gotten retarded. And then there are others that can just plain prove that we are retarded. Enter Big Bill and myself.
We left my house Saturday morning headed to goat sales. We stopped at Steve Simpson’s to look at goats. Then we headed towards Perry to Milligan’s. As we traveled eastward, we went through Hunter, OK. This is where the retardation began.
You see, I have been keeping an eye out for an extra set of wheels, like a ’77 oldsmobile, 4 door Lincoln or maybe an ’87 chevy pickup. At 11:30 am on Saturday, I had not been looking for a Chevy van. But by 11:40, I was in the market. Sitting a 1/2 block south of the elevator in Hunter, Ok was a slick ’93 Chevy van with a for sale sign in it. Good rubber, chrome wheels, LIMITED edition leather interior and no leaks. I called the phone numbers listed on the sign. NO ANSWER!!! If you are trying to sell a ’93 Chevy can, then you better be answering your phones as I would think it would be a pretty limited supply of buyers in the marketplace searching for a ’93 Chevy van. Especially, one sitting a 1/2 block south of the elevator in HUNTER, OK. Bill and I discussed what we thought it was worth since there was no price listed.
We pulled into Perry and went through the McDonald’s drive through a bought a sack full of burgers. We needed to do this as there was NOT going to be any food at Milligan’s. As we pulled out of McD’s, I tried calling one of the #s from the for sale sign. I got an answer this time.
“Hello.”
“Do you have a chevy van for sale in Hunter, Ok?”
“Yes and I damn sure wish it would be your van!”
Wow, what a sales pitch. Then he proceeded to tell me about all the features, amenities and upgrades that this thing has on it. Finally, I asked the important question…How much? He responded with the same $ amount that Bill and I thought it was worth. I told him that I was going to goat sales and would call him later in the day.
Let me tell you, it was hard to concentrate the rest of the day. I was slowly getting more and more retarded, thinking about a ’93 Chevy van. I was off my game. I bought doe kids at Milligan’s. Then I passed my usual spending limit on a wether at Pfeiffer’s. But, Jerry had grilled pork chops. Soon as we got done there, we headed to Hunter.
We met the owners at the van. We looked it over and crawled around in it, on it & under it. Heck, I can almost walk upright inside of it. Now, it was time for the main points. I took it for a test drive and left Big Bill to practice his William Shatner–the negotiator– to go to work on getting it cheaper. I came back ready to buy. However, the negotiator met his match. He wouldn’t budge. So, we just wrote a check, got the title and headed back to Perry to tour the dirt roads of Noble county. We even let RIng drive, which probably won’t happen again. Milligan wants to buy it and he keeps referring to it as a JACK wagon. I guess he’s been watching too much Duck Dynasty.
This thing is slick, complete with trailer hitch, air bag suspension, tv/vcr, vacuum, power couch that folds into a bed, sun roof, captain’s chairs, & a built in radar detector. I would imagine that this thing will roll up to a show or two pulling a trailer. We’ve already been to Texas and hauled kids to the swimming pool. The wives weren’t over-joyed when we called them and told them about the purchase, but they are liking it now. They’ve driven this luxury ride and are making plans for delivering kids to the first day of school in it.
It is a cheap form of entertainment. How cheap? Cheaper than most of the goats for sale on Saturday. Yeah, it is probably a little bit retarded that Big Bill and I now own a ’93 Chevy van, but it is fun. And we like to have fun.
