Growing up in Shattuck, OK, there was only one pizza option–Pizza Hut.  As a result, Pizza Hut pizza has always been one of my favorites.  The spring of 2020 brought lots of changes to the world.  Although it was a busy Pizza Hut, corporate decided that the Shattuck Pizza Hut would become a casualty of COVID and we no longer have one.  

     Recently, I needed some chemical from Tractor Supply in Woodward.  Tammy rode with me.  On the way there, she said, “I’m not cooking tonight.  Let’s get a pizza.”  Great.  She wanted to go to Pizza Hut in Woodward.  I hadn’t been in there for awhile.  And now I know why.

     The first sign of issues was that it was 7:30 pm and we were the ONLY customers.  A young lady seated us and took our order.  They brought us our drinks.  Oh no!  The beers were luke-warm.  This is an issue.  About 30 minutes went by and finally another customer.  It was a lady that I knew.  She had called in her pizza order.  We talked to her for a few minutes until her husband and son came in from little league ball games.  They brought her their pizzas.  Her son went to eating a slice or three.  They gathered their pizzas up and headed out the door.

      About this time, a different waitress came to our table and asked if we would take 2 supreme pizzas.  I said, “No.”  She said, “We screwed up and have these pizzas instead of what you ordered.”  

I said, “No.  I would rather be kicked in the crotch than have to eat a pizza with bell peppers on it.”

She said, “We could throw in a desert pizza as well.”

Tammy was like, “Just bring us the pizza that we ordered.”  The waitress walked into the back and yelled, “Go ahead and start making that thin crust with Canadian bacon and pepperoni.  They don’t want those Supremes.”  Oh lordy!! Here goes another 30 minutes of my life.  And let me remind you, we were the only customers.  

      Finally, they brought us our pizza.  For starters, it was cut irregular.  My OCD kicked into hyperdrive as I looked at the way some non-geometic sack of monkey crap had sliced the pizza.  One slice that took up a 1/4 of the pizza.  A couple of very small slices.  And it just didn’t look like a proper pizza.  Tammy took a small slice and tried it.  She said that it didn’t taste right.  I fiddled around with a piece trying to figure out what was wrong.  Ahaa!!  It only had cheese on parts of the pizza and it didn’t have any sauce on it.  How do you make a pizza without sauce?  Tammy gathered up her things and said, “I’m going to the pickup.  Do what you gotta do?”

     I took the pizza to the front counter.  A different lady that I had not previously seen schlubbed her way to the counter.  “Can I help you?”  

“Let’s cut to the chase and go ahead and get the manager.”  

“Unfortunately that’s me”, she replied as she rolled her eyes.  

“Nice attitude.  We have a problem with our pizza.  First, they tried to shove some Supremes at us.  Second, it took almost an hour to get this pizza.  And then, it isn’t sliced right and it doesn’t have sauce nor the right amount of cheese on it.  There is just enough cheese to kind of hold a pepperoni in place.”  I never cursed or yelled at anybody.  I just pointed out the problems.  

She looked at me and sighed, “What do you want me to do about it?”

“Well, I’m not paying for it.”   

“Okay.  I wouldn’t either.  Will you pay for your beers?”

I said, “That’s another thing.  They are warm.”

She said, “That’s because it is hot here in the lobby.”  I said, “Put them in the cooler.” 

She then said, “The cooler doesn’t work well.”

I said, “Get it fixed.” 

She replied, “Owner won’t let me.”

I then said, “Here’s the money for the beers and I will not be coming back.  Have a good evening.”   

     Guess what?  The lady that got her pizzas to go was supposed to have 2 Supreme pizzas.  Instead they made her 2 pepperoni & Canadian bacon.  Her son was already eating a couple of slices, so she just decided to keep them.  It isn’t her fault.  Two customers and two orders screwed up.  I don’t care what business you are in, going Ofer is never a good batting average.  

     For decades, Pizza Hut was the #1 pizza supplier in the world.  Now, they have fallen to #2 behind Domino’s.  By closing Shattuck and letting a crew of mouth-breathers run the one at Woodward, I would say that they will continue to lose ground.  

     Now, I was pissed and hungry.  Screwed over by a bunch of lazy sacks of crap who couldn’t even make a pizza.  So, we went home.  While leaving Woodward, an alert on my phone went off.  What?  I checked the alert.  It was a reminder of a Dr. appointment for the next day.  I had set the alert a year ago.  Unbelievable timing!  After getting screwed right in the donkey by pizza hut, I now had a reminder that I was going to get a finger up my rear to check the ol prostate.  

That was a nice evening.  

People have a good day today and a better one tomorrow.  And I suggest getting a Papa John’s or Hunt Brothers pizza.