I’ve always been a fan of educational tours.  I doubt that I will ever top the 2014 Gold Key Tours on back2back days of the John Deere combine factory and then the tractor factory with a former student/customer and another good friend.  As a student, employee and teacher, I have been on some really cool and educational tours. 

      Our latest tour made me think–a lot.  Although it has been in the works for several years, Rock Creek Distillery is now open in Shattuck, America.  They are currently making Schultz vodka and several flavors of Dead Parrot rum. Several years from now, the bourbon will be ready.  

       The owners are native Shattuck.  I currently have or have had all of their kids as very active FFA members.  Excellent families.  

      For a couple of weeks, I thought about this tour.  Then, one morning, I saw Jason Swanson, one of the owners/head distiller.  I asked him if it was even legal for us to do this.  And if you don’t know Jason, the answer is always “colorful”.   BK kind of colorful.  Basically, the kids could see everything EXCEPT the tasting room.  

       At this point, I decided to take my Food Science class which is made up of 15 seniors (four of which, upon polling,  had already been to the distillery.)  Now, I decided to tell the school administration what we were up to.  

       Historically, I have always prescribed to the “Don’t ask, do it and then wait on the, don’t do that again” school of thought.  An emphatic YES was the reply.  Why?  Because of the science involved.  I was thinking about the ag products and business side of things.  They brought up the science.  Wicked! 

        Here’s a brief synopsis of what we learned. 

With passion in his voice and demeanor, Jason discussed:

–agricultural products    All of their sugar and molasses for rum comes from one farm in Louisiana.  All of the wheat, corn & rye used to make vodka or bourbon is grown near Shattuck on Schultz/Swanson farms.  He also discussed the DDG, where it goes now and where it will go as the distillery grows.  

–the science of distilling, boiling temps, hard water, osmosis, etc.  How changes in temps make bourbon move in and out of the wood as well as why barrels are charred.  I could go on and on.  I feel like this is all improper grammar and… 

–engineering of the plumbing and the pots, the heated jacket for the tote full of molasses, how the bottling and labeling process operates, etc.  

–legalities–licensing, getting labels approved, taxes (if you are buying 80 proof, you are probably getting 78 proof.  Why?  Because when tested, if labeled 80 proof and it tests 80.1–HUGE tax fines for every tenth!!)  Once again, just another example of your government bending us over. 

–history–we discussed prohibition and how various entities all worked together to end it.  Throw in some facts that these drinks have been made for thousands of years and why some products were/are used.  Some/all of this ties to marketing. 

–marketing–This might have been the funnest part.  He has ideas and plans.  He told us that in his opinion, the 2nd best marketing campaign in alcohol sales history is……….

 Tito’s   Why?  Because of their little hang tang on the cap that mentions “gluten-free”.  Duh?  All distilled products are gluten-free.  But, the general public doesn’t think about it.  Legally, they can NOT print it on the label.  Yet, they are allowed to make a hang tag.  

He allowed that the best marketing campaign belongs to Dos Equis.  Here’s a nod to C Jason Spence of Dos Equis airlines.  The most interesting man in the world.  The ads not Spence.  Well, he might be as well.  Definitely the most interesting auctioneer in the goat world.   On a side note, Swanson allowed how he has actually met the Dos Equis most interesting man in the world and smoked cigars with him.  “Good guy. Fun Dude.”  

–economics–This was so good.  Financing or the lack thereof until you have sold X amount.  What 25,000 rum bottles cost pre-pandemic?  What a vodka bottle costs in order to get it out of a shipping container that is sitting off the coast in 2021?  Yes, it can be done.  Labor costs, ads, etc, etc, etc.  Retail prices and the producer’s percentage, the distributor’s cut and what is left for the retail shelf.  He was very open with the kids about the economics.   Complete with here is why you don’t do “this” because I was stupid at that age kind of talk and you need to listen to me because I’ve been there.   Oh, did I mention that his middle daughter was in this class?   

–education–He allowed that he had a few near-death experiences, watched a lot of videos and then went to Louisville to a school.  He stressed the importance of “talking to people” in the industry.  Ask questions!  People, this applies to any industry.  These people have been successful in several different industries.  And there isn’t a college degree among them.  Just a lot of work ethic, desire, willingness to learn and a barrel (get it) of common sense.  

     Without a doubt, a very educational tour.  So, so good.  

To answer some questions.  

Yes, the administration went on the tour with us. 

No, I did not drive a yellow bus and park in front of the distillery.  However, the local cop called the principal and asked “Why are a bunch of the seniors driving to the alcohol factory?”  

Yes, we got to smell the start of the mixing process–sugar, molasses, yeast.  Yes, we got to smell some bourbon that will be ready in less than 5 years (so good!)  

No, there wasn’t any tasting.  

Only in Shattuck.  Sure.  

Yes, I have more stories.

In all seriousness, if any of you bored-ass readers are in the greater Shattuck area, hit me up.  I’ll get you a tour.  I’ll gladly show my buddy Frazier the educational side of this deal.  He hasn’t drank in years but will love the science and art behind the process.  One does not have to imbibe in order to enjoy the efforts that go into providing products such as these.  I look forward to using some Schultz vodka to make a mule or three with Uncle Ron Simonson.  As for you bourbon dudes, I patiently wait for the time when Kester, Heshelman and the Brem crew sit down with me for a tasting.  (this Swanson dude is a bourbonite–it will be way, wicked good stuff).  We might even let Boyer & Schoovy take part.  TravASS will love the rum.  Kratzer…..well!  This stuff is good tasting.  We will just have to schedule a time when there are drivers.  No uber in the Greater Ellis County region.  So, we will have to plan accordingly.  

      In all seriousness, look at the educational opportunities that surround us.  Research.  Learn.  Even if you don’t like the topic, learn about it.  

Get smarter.  Get better.  I try.