It’s time for a lifestyle change.  Something had to give.  So, here we go.  

      This has been a different summer.  It has been hot but not for extended periods, but for the most part it has been really humid and overcast.  Not as windy.  Weird.  The Dragon Lady & I have tried to figure out when & where to go fishing but it just hadn’t happened.  And swimming, I had yet to go swimming.  People, it is mid-July.  No Gage Artesian Beach and No climbing into Tammy’s little backyard blue swimming pool.  I tried but it was too cold.  I’m tough and she is tougher and guess what….she hadn’t swam in it either.  

       This summer has just been different.  Her schedule, my schedule, the weather, just enough livestock to cause issues, family deals, work deals, whatthehellever.  Nobody’s fault.  Just, dang!!!  

       Finally, summer is kind of starting to come together.  On Wednesday night, as I was tearing up a high $ pickup, Tammy got a text from a fishing guide that he had an opening on Friday at 1:30.  She was scared to ask me but as soon as she did, I quickly and loudly replied “WE ARE GOING!!!!  I need a break from this $h!t and so do you!”  So we did.  

      We went to Keystone Lake and caught Paddlefish.  Neither of us had caught a paddlefish before. Well, sonofafemaledog, we dang sure have now.  If you have book face, you’ve seen the pics.  

       When we got on the boat, I asked the guide, “Dude, what’s our odds of actually catching one of these things?”  He scoffed, looked me square in the eye and said, “100% or you don’t pay.  And trust  me, you are going to catch one.”   Okay, let’s go.  And go we did.  

          Here’s the scoop on this paddlefish adventure.  These fish are members of the shark family.  They are old.  They never stop swimming.  EVER.  They swim side to side.  AND they only eat plankton.  You don’t use bait or a lure.  You have to snag them.  There have been numerous state records caught out of Keystone the past two years.  Why?  These two brothers have figured out how to use LiveScope and can find them.  It’s almost a cross of hunting and fishing when chasing these fish.  It is bad ass. 

        No, we didn’t keep or clean any.  Why?  First, we went on a Friday.  And the Ok Wildlife Dept. doesn’t let you keep a paddlefish on Friday or Monday.  Two, I have eaten paddlefish on two different occasions.  I was fine not keeping any. 

       Do they fight?   Oh hells to the yeah!!   Like some German/Irish/Catholic brothers!   You better have your shit together when you snag one.  You might catch one in the gills, the side, the top or oh hell, the tail.  The fight is on if you snag one in the tail.  In the side, you now have to fight a big fish going side to side while trying to bring it in sideways.  Not exactly aerodynamic.  Kind of like roping a Volkswagen.  And they don’t die.  This guide has only lost one in the past two years and that was because a kid awkwardly dropped it.  

       Back in 2013, Tammy and I caught some big sailfish off the Pacific Coast of Costa Rica.  This was different.  Probably funner.  Holding a 118.8#er in order to take a damn pic while it was trying to flop.  OH SNAP!!!   

       I had a buddy ask what it cost.  I told him “$600 for the first 3 people and $125 for every person after that.”  At least that was our rate.  He said, “Damn!  That’s high.”  

     My reply, “NOPE!” 

I got on the boat at 1:30.  We caught fish.  I got off the boat at 5:30 after catching big fish.  

I didn’t own the boat.  I didn’t have the technology to find these fish.  I didn’t own the poles.  I didn’t have to fuel the boat, unload the boat, load the boat, store the boat, pay insurance on the boat or make the appointment.  And most importantly, I DID NOT HAVE THE KNOWLEDGE OF HOW TO CATCH THESE BIG BASTARDS.  I was happy.  Tammy was happy.  

Basically, this was cheap!!!!   Knowledge and the tools to succeed are damn neart priceless!!  And that is not the only way this paddlefish fishing trip ties to the goat world. 

       Back to that little backyard blue swimming pool.  I now realize that I am a paddlefish when I am in that thing.  I have to keep swimming.  It feels good.  My hip feels better.  I don’t feel as old.  I just keep swimming in circles.  Sometimes change directions.   No general direction or speed.  It feels good.  I feel alive.  Yet, here is the difference.  If you see me stop swimming……well…..

…you better hope that chlorine pill is working.   I don’t care if it is a stock tank, pond, lake, river, stream or pool.    At some point, once immersed, I am going to stop swimming and just go “Aaaahhhh, that feels good.  And warmer.”   AND you are a blatant liar if you aren’t the same.  We’ve all pissed in the water.  

         Fishing and swimming.  Dang, I need to figure out how to do this year round.