I’ve taken my share of showers in sub-par motels.  I’ve taken splash-baths in truck stop sinks.  Splash your face, neck, behind the ears and arm pits and let’s keep on keeping on.

My brothers have always given me crap as I am not opposed to a bath.  Now don’t get me wrong, I love a good shower but there are times that a steaming hot bath is hard to beat.  You know, the water is sooo hot that it hurts to get in the water.  Yet, once submerged, it is hard to not think about “Calgon–take me away!”  Although I have never used any Calgon.  I do, however, dump some epsom salts into the water.

When I first enter a hotel room, I check out the crapper and the bathing facilities before I worry about the bed or tv.  A wicked awesome tub/shower can make or break a stay.

A decade or two ago, some friends and I made our way to Vegas.  Mikey Thompson’s wife was in charge of this trip.  And she booked the room.  OOOOOHHHHH!!  It was at the Venetian.  The room was awesome BUT the bathroom was off-the-hook.  The tub was so deep that I could sit, slightly reclined, completely comfortable yet the water was chin deep.  There was a water-proof remote for the tv.  I could sit, soak and watch Seinfeld.  Who cares about the strip when it’s this good.  The soaps and shampoos were good.

Even farther back, Duke was about 4 or 5.  We were on our way to south Louisiana.  We stopped at Shreveport for a bit of horse racing.  Binion’s had a nice room.  Duke took a look at the tub and said, “I need my goggles and swimming trunks.  That’s not a tub.  That’s a swimming pool.”  And swim he did.

I like a Hampton Inn or a Holiday Inn Select.  The tubs and showers are normally very good.  Not always but normally good.

I do not recommend the tubs/shower in a tub at the Hotel Turkey in Turkey, Tx.  They will suffice but not a 5 star event.

I want to throat punch somebody when I get in one of those hotels that uses the funky water controls.  What dang engineer designed pulling down a piece of the water spout in order to get the shower to work?  What?!  I’ve lost hours of my life trying to figure some of those things out.  I also get a bit nervous when I walk into a hotel room and there is an air purifying fan.  And if there is a turd hammer next to the toilet.  Those two tools combine to tell me that the toilet has backed up, recently, real bad.

And then there is the motel in Eldorado, TX.  I’ve stayed there several times.  But a certain trip back in 2006, is the most memorable.  I was with Jack Staats.  He needed a killer doe kid, so I hooked him up with the sisters.  We left work on a Friday evening and headed south.  Several hours down the road, the governor realized that he had forgotten his clothes bag which also contained his toiletry kit.  No worries, we’ll stop.  That didn’t happen.

We rolled into Eldorado about 2 something AM.  The front desk lady just tossed me a key. “End room.   Come in the morning and settle up.”  She then shuffled off to the back.

I unlocked and opened the door, flipped the light switch and then turned on the wall heater.  I walked into the bathroom and pulled the chain above the sink mirror.  The 40 watt bulb illuminated all that I needed to see.  I yelled out to Staats, “Dude, you’re in luck!   There is a tooth brush already here.  Slightly used.  Oh wait, there is a razor as well.”   Now, mind you, it was an old-school razor blade rusted to the sink.

I then opened the shower curtain.  “Oh snap!  You are in luck.  There are some underwear hanging from the shower head.  Look to be your size.”   Jack surveyed all of this and decided that he could go without using any of the amenities supplied by the lack of house-keeping in this place.  We did come home with a bad-ass doe kid.  Grand at Woodward District and reserve grand at OYE.

Speaking of showers, we recently had a new pump installed in our well.  Great pressure!  It will knock the buck funk right off of you.  Well, not really.   No shower can have that much power without peeling skin.

I’ve been doing my homework trying to plan dispersal sales and how to get rid of all of the semen inventory.  This is going to take a sale or three, four, more.

Have a good one!