Couldn’t play one properly if my life depended on it.  But, I love the sound of a well played guitar.  Plugged or unplugged–don’t care.

My mother tried to teach me music.  “If you learn to play the piano, then you can learn to play any instrument.”  Much like the classic Merle Haggard song “Mama Tried”.  She dang sure did.  Tried she did, on numerous levels.  Music, religion, etc.  I had the chance to learn how to be the Pope that could play some serious tunes.  But, no.  I turned into a livestock junkie that has read a complete World Book encyclopedia set and a butt-load of Purple Circle, Showbox and Ag Youth magazines.  I took a serious hard turn in the wrong direction somewhere along the way.  My fault.

For me, actually playing music came to an end when I learned how to play “Mary had a little lamb” on the recorder.  I can still play it on that molded plastic POS.

No matter my failings, I have always felt and heard the sound of a bad ass guitar.  Like everything else, some are just better than others.  Solos, riffs or just music to my ears, there are some songs that have always just sounded wicked awesome.  I can remember what songs where playing when certain stock was in the show ring.

I’m not ranking all of these.  I would be here all night.  Stevie Ray Vaughn laid down some legendary licks.  ZZ Top is a band that I should have seen live.  Their intro at the start of La Grange is hard to get out of your head.  Nugent on Stranglehold.  Skynyrd with Freebird.  Clapton–pick one, three or how many of songs.

Metallica–Kirk Hammet.  The intro to Enter Sandman.  The guitar solo on “One” dang near gave me carpel tunnel while trying to play it on guitar hero.

Jimmy Paige.   You can’t have a guitar conversation without him or Zepellin being near the top.  Oh, and Hendrix.  Pick several. (Won’t argue with the best ever.)

Now, the discussion gets serious.

Eruption–Eddie Van Halen with Van Halen

Iron Man–Randy Rhoads with Ozzy Osbourne

November Rain–Slash with Guns N Roses

And then it sorts again.

Like any stock show with a top heavy class, there are at least two heavy hitters and then one that has everybody ringside asking “Who the heck is that?”

Crazy Train–Randy Rhoads with Ozzy Osbourne

You literally feel like you are riding a crazy train while listening to it.  Start to finish of this song, that     guitar is killing it.  Ozzy was the name on the record but that guitar made it happen.  This song sounds better the louder it gets.

A couple of years ago, I was getting a haircut by a great American.  Darrel “the barber” Gosney was trying to make this coif on my head look presentable.  As usual, there was a crowd waiting.  His phone went to ringing.  In the old “Name that Tune” tradition, I could name that song in one note.  But, he kept cutting hair.  The song kept going.  I finally elbowed him and said, ” I like that ring tone.”   Hunh?!?!?  OH!  He then answered it.  Then hung up.

I said, “I did not expect you to be a fan of Ozzy Osbourne.”

He replied, ” I don’t know who that is.  But I like that ringtone because most of the time, I can hear it.  Loud guitar.”  I told him to crank it up.

It is hard to measure the intrinsic values of many things in this world.

Cliffs of Dover–Eric Johnson

If you worked anywhere near the Oklahoma State University meat lab during the fall of ’90 through 1992 then you caught a steady dose of Eric Johnson’s instrumental album “Ah Via Musicom”.  We liked the KATT radio and they liked Eric Johnson.  No big name group.  No big time videos.  That dude could wail.  And it has held up to the test of time.  Bad ass guitar playing.  NO vocals.  How good was/is Eric Johnson?  He was included in the 2007 Guitar Heroes video game.  If you don’t know, get on google and listen to it.  You could have had me playing drums, Tyke on bass and those songs would still be killer.

Sweet Child o’ Mine–Slash with Guns N Roses

Maybe it is an age deal.  I don’t think so.  I remember the first time that I heard this song.  The opening guitar licks sounded like a siren calling to me, calling me to listen closer.  Then, I thought the lead singer was in a bit of pain.  Then….then…… the talking guitar solo.  I’m still hooked.  Decades later, I still get amped when this song hits and then I have to turn up the volume for the guitar solo.  Sure, November Rain was epic but you don’t get there without the guitar on Sweet Child o’ Mine.  And the video didn’t help Sweet Child o’ mine.  On the other hand, November Rain had maybe the best video.  Maybe.  That is for another waste of time.  Me–typing.  You–reading.

I don’t really care if you agree or not.  However, if you get me to trim hooves, clip a doe, shear wethers or photo  a buck, odds are that I’m listening to some wicked tunes.  For that matter, welding & farming also require some tunes.  Not all with a big guitar.

Now, back to that image of me playing guitar while wearing the mitre (big Pope hat).  Scary?  It could have happened.