Make your eyes water

This has been a week of eye-watering events.  For one, this was the LAST county stock show that Tammy and I will be participating as parents.  YESSS!!!  20 years as stock show parents and we are all but done.  We will get a pay raise in the next few months.  The countdown continues.  Tears of joy!

Next, I have been fighting a bad donkey sinus issue.  I don’t get sick very often.  And other than the fact that I can’t breathe, I’m fine now.  However, the internal pressures from inside my sinus cavity has caused my eyes to water more than once.  And the sneezes that have dislodged ribs and my diaphragm from the base of my lungs has caused me to shed a tear or three.

And then our youngest offspring returned home from a welding competition.  He did not win.  He allowed that he shouldn’t have won.  He wasn’t sure that the bevel was 22.5 degrees on the 3/8″ steel that he had to do a vertical up MIG weld on for part of the test.  He was very critical of his own work and what he could in order to do better.  It was almost enough for a dad to have to wipe an eye.

For those of you that don’t know, Duke is not his first name.  It is actually his middle name.  After my grandpa “Duke” Schneider.  We thought about naming him Krawdad.  Think about it, Krawdad Kelln has a ring to it.  But, we went with sentimental names instead.  Either way, this kid was getting a kool name.

I can’t remember if I have ever wrote about this or not.  Don’t care.  If I have, it’s like a great Whitesnake song, “here I go again.”

In August of 1989, I headed to Stillwater, OK for the beginning of my college years.  I had pledged to a fraternity and we had some damn pledge retreat at a church camp in the greater Guthrie, OK area.  I didn’t know very many of these dudes.  We were kind of seated in a horseshoe shape.  They had the dude sitting across from me start by stating his name, hometown, honors, awards and special interests.

That first dude listed his valedictorian status, GPA, ACT score, complete resume, etc, etc, etc.  “I am ….. I was valedictorian of whatever High School, I was all state in …… I was a public speaking winner, I was, I was…..GEEZ!!  Then the next one, then the next one.  I’m looking around the room wondering how it is that I will be the last one and what in the hell am I doing here?

This torture continued until it hit the dude to my left.  He has been sitting there with his head hung low, glasses even lower on his nose.  He has been watching and listening but not making a sound or showing any signs of emotion.  I would have guessed that he was about my height.  Then they called his name and he kind of unfolded out of the folding chair.  He was over 6′ tall.  He pushed the glasses up off his nose.  This dude looked around the room and said his name.   “Yes, I have four first names.   I am from Orlando.  Oklahoma that is.  Not where the mouse has a kingdom in Florida.  I was born in the floorboard of a ’59 Ford truck and my favorite hobby is hunting skunks with a baseball bat.”

OOHHH  HECK YEAH!!!!    I’m still friends with several guys that were in that room.  But that dude is the reason that Duke’s first name is Connely.  Some of you will do the math and realize who that dude is.

Tonight, as Connely Kelln returned to the house after feeding cows, I was reminded of this story.  Why?  With this sinus issue, I can’t smell but my eyes were watering.  He managed to run over a skunk with the gator while feeding cows.  As his mother keeps handing him cans of tomato juice and boxes of baking soda, I can’t help but think of my buddy hunting skunks with a baseball bat.  I have NO doubt that this is a true story.

And as I write this drivel, I think to myself, I don’t remember a goat being sprayed by a skunk or a goat getting into a porcupine?!?   HHmm?

Goats don’t move much after dark.  I don’t think that they see well in the dark.  Therefore, in the goat world, most skunks and porcupines move on unnoticed.  Then again, most bucks could get sprayed by a skunk and that would improve their odor.

People, have a good one and a better tomorrow.  Horseshoes and shamrocks to all.  I’m hoping to catch several straight hours of sleep and no skunk smell in the morning.  I bet my happiness will not happen.

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