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Like Skynyrd?!

I like to listen to Lynyrd Skynyrd.  Some of the best songs that ever were written were performed by that group.  You cannot argue!  Sweet Home Alabama, Freebird, Gimme 3 Steps, etc.

While at Phoenix, we stayed at the Embassy Suites downtown.  Excellent hotel that is undergoing a remodel.  The rooms were good, staff was great, the ANLS discount prices were really good and the bartender was one of the best that I have dealt with.  And no, I didn’t spend much time or money at the bar but that dude is a professional.  Those of you that were there know who I am talking about!

As good as this hotel was/is, they were not prepared to be like Skynyrd.  They needed to play that Lynyrd Skynyrd song, “That smell.”  OMG!  You could tell when the hog showers arrived.  JEEMINY CHISTMAS!  It was brutal.  Wood chips in the lobby.  The elevator smelled like hog crap.  The smell permeated the air of an otherwise fancy lobby, elevator area, bar and restaurant area.  OH, OH that smell!  It was brutal!  The hotel even went and bought a couple of those boot brushes to put outside the front doors.  But NO, the hog heads couldn’t use them.

Here’s the deal.  I used to like feeding a show pig or two.  My show pig resume is probably better than yours.  As a teacher or a parent, when it comes to showing pigs, if you want a measuring contest, I can compete.  And when compared to the current crop of hog showers, jocks, parents, etc.  I am damn sure better at NOT, let me repeat, NOT stepping in hog shit and then tracking it into every place.  DANG!  Change shoes, clean your shoes, wear slick bottomed boots so that you can scrape the shit off of your shoes.  For the love of GOD, do something to keep That Smell out!

This was a group effort to smell like this.  Goats and sheep have an advantage.  They have a dry, clean turd to deal with.  Cattle poo can stink but every cattle shower has a shovel and a turd fork close by.  They don’t constantly walk around in it and then track it to every restaurant, hotel, bar, etc.  Hog showers can use the same turd forks and clean up.  But they don’t.  My goodness, it takes 12 people per hog anymore.  Make one of them use a turd fork and pickup turds so nobody has to walk in it.

I am not saying that I am the best at feeding pigs.  I am not saying that goats, sheep or cattle smell better.  I AM saying that cat shit smells worse, but the good LORD himself taught cats to bury it.  Pig crap smells and smells real bad.  Nobody can argue this FACT!  Don’t walk in it and don’t track it into nice places.  Change shoes or do like your momma taught you and pick that crap up!

If I was the manager at the Embassy Suites (or any other nice establishment), I would have a discount for cattle, sheep and goat showers AND I would charge extra for the smell and wood chips from the hog showers.  Clean that crap up!

OOhh! That Smell!  And everybody knows what I am talking about!  Dang, that smell!

And to change the note to a more pleasant experience.  Tammy, Kela and Duke went to see Ferdinand the Bull with the Greer twins.  It was sold out.  So they went and watched the Greatest Showman.  THEY LOVED IT!  A few days later, my offspring and I watched the new Star Wars.  I liked it.  But it was a formula movie.  Great effects, cool stuff, show the old (Chewbacca, Luke, Princess Leia, R2D2) and really not much plot.  One of the worst Star Wars movies ever, but still good.  And I will watch it again…and again.

However, the marketing effort of the Greatest Showman is wicked.  Very few commercials, promos, etc.  Big names and obviously a great movie.  Their marketing effort was something like this….Dude, we’ve got a great musical.  Don’t spend any money marketing.  Let’s catch the overflow from Ferdinand and Star Wars on sold out nights.  Our show is wicked good.  By week 3 via word of mouth, we will be #3 or better.     Tammy loved this movie, Duke loved it and Kela loved it.  I have not seen it yet.  However, I am sticking to my guns that the best musical of all-time is “Paint Your Wagon”.

 

Moral of the day–clean your shoes, pick up your shit and listen to some good tunes while doing so.  Words to live by.  Have a good one today and a better tomorrow.

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