Favorite quote for this day.
“Guys with an eyepatch and three fingers sell the best fireworks.”
July 4th means that ESPN will be showing the Nathan’s Famous Hot Dog eating contest. Joey Chestnut is the best ever and holds the record with 72 eaten hotdogs. His goal for this year is 75. I’ll take the over.
If Kobayashi was also competing, I think those two could push one or the other to 80. But, not this year.
I like eating a good hot dog, brat, hot link or sausage on a bun. But when I watch that eating contest, it does not make me want a hot dog.
And in memory of one of my favorite animals. A 4th of July appropriate scene from the legendary movie: Joe Dirt.
Joe Dirt: Well, I see you got those snakes and sparklers. But where’s the good stuff man?
Kicking Wing: Good stuff? This is the good stuff, snakes and sparklers.
Joe Dirt: Are you nuts dude? You need stuff that’ll explode. Go boom!
Kicking Wing: Why is that good?
Joe Dirt: Well, duh, might as, might as well ask why is a tree good? Why is the sunset good? Why are boobs good? Man, firecrackers, ya stick ’em in mailboxes, you drop ’em in toilets, shove ’em up bullfrogs asses.
Kicking Wing: I would never do that, because one day I’m going to be a veterinarian
Joe Dirt: Well there you go, one day a bullfrog has a M-80 up his ass, he comes to you, you win twice brother.
Joe Dirt: So you’re gonna tell me that you don’t have no black cats, no Roman Candles, or screaming mimis?Kicking Wing: No.
Joe Dirt: Oh come on, man. You got no lady fingers, fuzz buttles, snicker bombs, church burners, finger blasters, gut busters, zippity do das, or crap flappers?
Kicking Wing: No, I don’t.
Joe Dirt: You’re gonna stand there, ownin’ a fireworks stand, and tell me you don’t have no whistlin’ bungholes, no spleen splitters, whisker biscuits, honkey lighters, hoosker doos, hoosker don’ts, cherry bombs, nipsy daisers, with or without the scooter stick, or one single whistlin’ kitty chaser?
Kicking Wing: No… because snakes and sparklers are the only ones I like.
Joe Dirt: Well that might be your problem, it’s not what you like, it’s the consumer.
Remember the reason that we have this holiday and say a prayer for all those that have served, are currently serving or will serve all of us in defending our independence.
Get the good stuff.
Because, ‘Merica!! GOD bless and have a fun and safe day.