Destruction is not one word. It isn’t. It is two words–Doe Goats.
Sure, there are more destructive elements in the world, such as weather. But, in the animal kingdom, it is hard to find a more destructive creature. How you say? Well let’s list it.
1–Curse words–pick one, use em all (my favorites involve the terms–you sack of monkey crap, owl-headed, sideways-headed, the letter M and the letter F, then a whole string of expletives, throw something and the letters F & U.) It’s kind of like watching Sesame Street with added verbs, nouns, adjectives and pronouns. Yes, we are talking about the obvious head butting on any object that can be hit. A doe can be a submissive in a group, but separate her and put a panel between her and the others and well, that female dog will act like she is tough and that panel is getting ready to be tore up like a fat kid ripping open a Twinkies package. Why do we burn horns on wethers/bucks yet leave the horns on the destructive beasts?
2–Rubbing. Non-stop, year round. They will rub on anything and everything. Just like we learned in Earth science back in junior high, weathering is the term that applies. As a glacier scours the Earth, a doe goat will eventually erode everything in its path.
3–Climbing. This is the goat trick that absolutely destroys and wears down everything. Other species don’t have this ability. A round bale of hay–a goat will find its way to the top, which in turn wastes hay. Feet 3 foot high on a panel. Eventually the panel wears down. 11 wire barb wire fence–yeah, a doe goat will eventually take the tension right out of that defense. Constant upkeep. I want to see a name-brand doe with that name.
4–Pawing–Yeah, have yourself a concrete foundation somewhere in the pen. A doe goat will paw next to it for a couple of minutes, then lay down. Several times a day, everyday, every month, every year. More weathering. I guaran-dang-tee-ya that if there is a concrete wall, foundation, retaining wall in the midst of a doe goat, that foundation will become exposed. Can a sow hog do the same? Yes. Yes they can. Which brings us to the next item.
5–No other species can do all of the above. Yet, a doe goat can take it to the next level. They will climb on top and then CRAP on it. Then piss on it. There is a 1/4 of a round bale left. Let’s climb on top, crap and pee on it while we are there and now, it is inedible. The dumb asses defiled their own food just because they could. Every time. Welfare? sure. Un-educated Democrats? Hard to deny the comparisons.
6–The worst. Absolutely the worst part of a doe goat, is the complete lack of spatial awareness and the willingness to plow a friend doe at the feed trough, which in turn hurts a baby. I turn into Anakin Skywalker when I witness this. I want to kill them all. I hate them. They aren’t right.
And that, my friends, should answer any questions about why I am selling out.
Please be taking advance warnings of these weather warnings regarding this cold, cold shit! Take care of the stock, take care of yourselves and please say a prayer. We all need all of the help that we can get. Horseshoes and shamrocks to all of you! I hope that tomorrow will be better than today.
P.S. I hope that I don’t know anybody in this 100+ pileup in Ft. Worth. Be safe my friends!