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Conflict

     To be honest, I struggled with how to title this blog.  Normally, I don’t give a rat’s donkey about the title.  I have declared war, but in my small world, war is too big of a word.  Even though I’m pissed and want the enemy gone, dead and will hopefully never come back, war is not the proper word.  War, battle, etc are all terms associated with major events that cost human life.  I don’t want to go the athletic route and utilize terms like “field of battle” and the kind that “you would want to go to war with”.  Therefore, we are going to use the term conflict.  

      Over the years, I have used some mouse bait and tore down sparrow nests.  I didn’t mind a few cohabitants in the barns.  But I did want them to respect the provider that provided the shelter and the food.  That is all I asked.  Don’t crap on everything, don’t destroy feed sacks, don’t chew on wires, don’t build nests above my personal spaces–just take advantage of the free food and shelter.  Just don’t abuse it.  

      Now, as a result of the abuse of the free-loading tenants, I am now at conflict with sparrows, barn swallows, mice and as a result of the continued gift from GOD that we call rain–we also have an abundance of flies.  My advice is to buy stock in those companies that sell products that I am purchasing in order to win this conflict.  Too start with, I would watch the company that makes TomCat.  I will have later blogs that provide info as to what worked and what didn’t.  

      I have to buy stuff that will not hurt the goats and that the dogs will not eat.  I have to spray stuff that is also safe for humans, goats and dogs.  I would like to order predator wasps to attack the flies, but it has rained too much and we are already behind.  So, I will deal with the flies and mosquitos as they come.  Now, for the birds and mice.  They are no longer welcome.  I am real sure that these birds and mice are obAma supporters.  They provide nothing for the common good, but they want to use up all that they are provided.  And then they complain that they weren’t given more.  They get vocal and more visible even though they don’t actually do anything for the common good.  I’m real sure that they have a few paid spokesman that just make a butt load of noise every time that I walk into these barns.  I don’t think that these spokesbirds are native.  I actually think that some of the native birds utilized my free wi-fi, found some professional birds that crap all over everything and make noise while doing so, and then traded my feed to get these LOUDER birds from some big city to come to paradise.  I don’t know why my quiet birds would do that.  I gave each bird, mouse and rat a cell phone, a debit card and bought their old junker transportation devices. I upgraded their living facilities and feed sources.  I made the barns warmer in the winter, cooler in the summer and cleaner year round.  But NO!  That wasn’t good enough.  Instead of just being happy and content, they started crapping on tractors, 4 wheelers and then pickups.  Then, they just decided to crap on everything in the barn.  EVERYTHING!  The mice started getting braver.  Then they tried to take over.    Neither the birds or the mice were providing feed, shelter or anything else to the common good.  Unless we have a use for mice and bird crap.  

       Some people will read this and automatically declare that these birds and mice are democrats.  I won’t argue.  But, I will tell you that these pests will not be leaching this dude of anymore resources.  They had their chances.  I am now applying my resources to their demise or removal–THEIR choice!  They can go somewhere else or die.  I do not care.  Duke and I cleaned barns today.  We did not hurt any animals.  But we did witness nature at its finest.  When we pulled down a bird nest or found a mouse habitation, Sasha took care of everything.  Regardless of age, that old female dog that gets fed daily went back to her primal instincts and ate every bird or mouse that made an appearance.  It was awesome!

      I’m not sure.  Have I ever mentioned that I dislike your president and his tactics?  They don’t work-your president or those strategeries.  Watch history or nature.  Take your pick.  There is always a Sasha waiting to clean up the mess when given the chance.  Don’t read too much into this post.  All I want is my barns rid of birds and mice.  

      And to end this note, I provided the same services for racoons, skunks and opossums.  Those critters have yet to abuse their privileges.  They crap in certain corners.  Borrow the same feed sources as the birds and the rodents but have have yet to cause problems.  I think that they upgraded their free cell-phones to smart phones and can utilize GPS to track my location.  Cool.  We have even been known to substantiate the rumour that there are a few pleasant armadillos that enjoy our hospitatilty.  I do think that these were some ‘dillos that made their way over from Texas.  No matter, they too are welcome, as long as they behave and crap in proper locations.

      And to clearify this post, I am at conflict with sparrows, swallows, mice, rats and flies.  I can’t win the conflict against flies.  But I will make the resident rodents and birds wish for a new regime.  Have a good day and a better tomorrow.  

      Remember, we will have a July and August that will remind us why we want rain.  And if you didn’t enjoy reading this crap, remember that you are free to choose a different site to read.  I did NOT direct you to this site.  You got here of your own accord.  Think about it.