Without a doubt, there is an easy class winner in this group of quick stop bathrooms. One only needs to visit any of the 94 Buc-ee’s locations to understand the value of a clean restroom. There are plenty of options to stand and relieve one’s-self in combination with a plethora of bricked chambers to sit and destroy some porcelain. These fortresses of solitude have traffic control measures to ensure a private, yet intimate setting. Yet, one will almost never have to wait in a line to wash up afterwards as there are numerous rows of automated sinks. I have yet to see an employee cleaning in these pristine environments, so I’m not sure if they are human, robotic or celestial, however & whomever, they do an admirable job.
Coming in second, and it truly is a closer second than one might originally think, is the restroom at Gore’s Truck Stop north of Seiling, OK. It is a logical second only because they have one location, not 94. And there is no doubt that the cleaners are human as they are almost always waiting for a user to exit as they start mopping and wiping surfaces. Excellent locale for evacuations. I highly recommend this for a number of reasons–mainly # 1 or #2.
Falling into the third slot would be a Love’s truck stop–not a quick stop restroom. The Love’s smaller locations can be a bit sketchy and are normally designed as an afterthought when compared to the rest of the building. However, I do grant that there is normally some outstanding poetry written on the walls. Yet, the truck stops have ample stations to do one’s business. In a dire situation, I highly recommend the one on the west side of Albuquerque. Although clean and functional, they still offer the stalls that somebody might walk in at an inopportune time. Nobody likes to be caught with their pants down, looking like a puppy on a leash, out for it’s daily dump walk. And there are certainly times, that a person could care less if they had a stall or just hunker down in the bar ditch. That’s when you will love a Love’s.
And without a doubt, we will wrap this class up with the 8 point cut bottom–Allsup’s. Hundreds of locations, yet remarkably consistent. Upon entry, one notices the turd hammer with the broken handle. That combined with a non-locking door knob gives you pause. As you slide the not-in-line bolt lock that was probably found at a dollar general, you wish that you would have just gone to the alley and hid behind the grease dumpster. They all look and smell like somebody ate an Allsup’s burrito, chimichanga and taco sauce then rushed to destroy some porcelain or a urinal as the toilet was already plugged. One has to prepare to wipe with the brown paper towels from the hand dispenser. John Wayne paper, I think not. Not even John Wayne was that rough. Actually, a user probably needs an extra pair of socks.
Kind of like that class of critters that get drug to numerous judging contests in a 3 week span, we’ve seen this class before. Yet, it is still fun.
Been working on organizing buck, semen and doe dispersal sales. Needed something to put me in a good mood. Isn’t it ironic that the best AND worst restrooms are in Texas. I’m not sure what this means. But……
Stay tuned for hotel showers.