I was always a Paul Harvey fan. I loved the “Rest of the Story” segments. If you don’t remember these, google it. It was quality news reporting. Here is my 10 cents. And I literally mean 10 cents, not a penny more, not a penny less–10 cents. There isn’t even a cents sign on this keyboard–$0.10 is ten cents.
I decided that I was sick of making vehicle payments. It was right at the end of the year so I called Ally financial to see what the payoff amount was for my gray pickup and Kela’s jeep. The nice lady gave me the amount and I thought “Hey, that isn’t bad, I think that I will pay those things off”. The lady gave me a payoff amount for each vehicle good until Dec. 29th. I sent the checks. It was kind of a good feeling. Last checks for those things. Paid off. By the way, there is not a worse investment than buying a brand new vehicle. Can you say depreciation?
This past week I got a check from Ally for $1.32. Yes, that is ONE dollar and 32 cents. I was like, “Are you kidding me?” They should have just kept the money. I wouldn’t have known and wouldn’t have cared. However, I cashed the check. I needed to deposit several other checks, so what the heck. It could still buy a burger off the McDonald’s dollar menu.
On Monday evening, I got another check from Ally. This time the amount was for…..you guessed it…TEN CENTS!!!
Are you shitting me? They wrote a check for $0.10. Ten cents. I would have been more impressed if somebody would have taped ten pennies to a sheet of paper and mailed them to me, just like I used to do back in the early eighties. Have the pre-requisite UPC symbols, some change taped to a piece of cardboard for shipping & handling and 6 to 8 weeks later I had a Cobra Comander GI Joe figure or some damn obscure Star Wars figure that Jake would later melt. But NO, they cut a corporate check that is backed by Wells Fargo for 10 cents.
Let us think about this for a minute. It cost $0.45 cents for the postage to mail this thing to me. They had already mailed one shitty check. Couldn’t they have put both checks in the same envelope and saved postage? I know that the US postal service is dang neart broke, but come on. Factor in labor to do the accounting that they owed me 10 cents, print the paperwork to send to payroll in order to process the check, printer ink, paper, a damn envelope, somebody to authorize this transaction, somebody to put the check in the envelope, etc. Somebody, somewhere made the decision to have this check made out for $0.10. I mean a 10 second phone call to me would have stopped all of this. They could have called and said “Mr. Kelln, we owe you 10 cents. We would make a donation to a charity in your name for ten DOLLARS and we will be money ahead if we don’t have to write & mail you a check. Is this okay with you?” Or they could have said, “We owe you 10 cents. Do you need it? Okay, I’m not going to waste my time or yours with this transaction. Thank you for your business. Have a good day.” And we wonder what is wrong this country.
Now for the rest of the story, the check is made out to Chris & TAMMY Kelln. I only get half of this paper document. A nickel. I’m keeping it all. Like Gollum on the Lord of the Rings, it is my precious. I’m not sharing. I think I will spend some more money & have this thing laminated. It doesn’t say that it must be cashed within a certain time. That means some accountants, somewhere, will be trying to balance not only Ally’s books but Wells Fargo’s books but they will be $0.10 off. But, just think how many of these crappy little checks that they have sent out that won’t get cashed. Hmmm? They might be money ahead when numerous people don’t cash these penny-anty little checks. Makes you think. Some of you are wondering why you just read this crap and if it is was worth ten cents of your time, while others are thinking, “Wow, that was really good. I wonder if he will spend more money and get the TEN CENT check framed.”